TeamLeader:
She is 4 months and yet to be sitting unless she is supported. If i force her to sit after less than 3 minutes she will be crying but when supported she can sit for long. And she is very strong physically, kicking and everything.

am I being too worried or its normal.

am a brand new father tho.



At what months should I be getting worried


thanks for your contribution

you are just being agitated for no cause. she is just four months old and you are posting looking for someone to confirm your fears. you said it that she sits long when supported but, for a while without support. leave that baby alone and let her reach her own milestone at own own space. new parent faaaa! don't create trouble where there is none. my baby began to sit well on his own at six months

clarocuzioo:
Honestly speaking this is the best article I have read so far in this forum, most especially as I was once a victim of this.

This is an angle the society does not pay attention to because the male child is involved but it's happening daily.

I remember then in our house, my mum had two adult maids, I was only in Nursery school then.

They will always be dragging who will come and pick me up from school, as they are always in the shop with my mum. Whoever that my mum permits that day, will come and pick me from shop, immediately we get home, she will strip herself stark naked, spread her legs wide apart and force me to be fingering her. They were taking turns in molesting me on a daily basis and my parents weren't aware of it. How do I even explain what is going on as I can barely understand and comprehend as a child.

After a while I got tired and started being resistive to the nonsense ongoing, one of the days, one of them brought me back and as usual spread her legs and told me to start fingering her, I vehemently resisted, that I won't do anything with her. She was highly infuriated, knelt me down and refuse to give me food.

While I was kneeling down, as luck and fate would have it, my Dad came back, unlike him as he usually comes back from work late in the evening. He saw me kneeling down and ask me what I did, when I explained to him the "crime" I committed, my dad went mad, almost killed the two girls that day, and sent them packing that day.


Because of my experience, I have caught about four females in the act molesting the male child, the last one in was a big, respected and wealthy Aunty in the neighbourhood, you won't even believe she can think of such, but yet it happens, immediately I notice the signs, I will be following them up and be observing quietly.

Please parents and guidance beware of people that call male children pet names like " my husband, smally, little boy, my baby" etc , that's the first act of suspision.


Please let us also protect the male child as we protect the female child.

thanks for sharing. learnt a lot. I have a boy child and I can't imagine what you describe above happening to him. I think that will surely make me a murderer. have you healed from this traumatic past fully ? if not, do seek out a counselor to talk to. I'm so sorry. I want to kill those two maids already.

ma'am, truth is you have been hurt, and my respect to you on how you could swallow all these mess, and forgive your hubby.
as for the baby, it might just be a gimmick from the concubine. hubby should do a DNA test if physical appearance does not ascertain that the baby is his.
for those telling you to love the child and blablabla, is not easy. if you find yourself not loving and accepting the child, don't beat yourself. you are only being human, and you have been betrayed. but all I can encourage you to do is not to prevent hubby from taking full responsibility for the child if the baby is his. "since he did the crime, he should do the time"
as for you recurrent miscarriages, please , visit a specialist to know what is wrong. these days, there are virtually drugs and procedures used to correct illness. God bless science.


in all, that your hubby's friend is cynical, crazy and should be avoided 100 mile away. gush, I hate him already. he set this whole crap, but hubby was weak, so he gave in.

this thread was supposed to be entertaining and enlightening, until some mofos hijacked it and turned it to a battle ground. you guys should get a room and go fvck yourselves already.
there is a reason why it was called unpopular opinions. you don't have to agree with everyone's opinion

As someone rightly suggested, seek the opinion and service of a speech therapist, as this might be an impairment that he might not overcome if left unattended to. I so hate how Nigerians often think we have to leave some things unattended to when it comes to developmental delay with the hope that kids will outgrow them . it doesn't always work. it fact it rarely does. seek medical help and hopefully this turns out great.
as usual love him endlessly and do not let others make joke of him . don't let him sense your worry about this as this will dampen his self esteem and he won't want to try. talk to his teacher about been patients , too.

I love your boy already.

Base1line:
No single sense in this comment.
How many kiddies sent to Nigeria turned out to be doomed like you asserted ? Why not have the boy live with so you can show your child educating skills ?

[s][/s]

you are quite annoyed because I said he might be doomed if he was sent to Nigeria? well I maintain my stance . how many schools in Nigeria has trained special needs educators ? Nigerian teachers , except few flogs day light out of a child for every errors and traits they do not understand. when I said doom, I do not mean failure per se, but the child not having trained personnel handling him. the child is better off with his parents, much so because they can always reach out to an expert. I grew up in Nigeria, I'm not a failure , but a child with special needs rarely fly in Nigeria compare to their counterparts abroad where they have professionals to handle developmental delay. cheers. thanks for the criticism. I love it

tomdon:


.wgat are you people saying sef?
At nine years of age I was bathing my two year old sister aside handling my own self. A three year old child shouldn't be behaving in such awful manner as described by the Op. Better take the boy for appropriate diagnosis

not every child is the same. although there are milestones for age bracket, but not every child will get there the same time.
cognitive development and talents are different

ABCthings:
I strongly disagree!
If he should be sent to Command school. His forgetfulness will evaporate like water.

do you have to flog a child to reset the brain ? your comment is so funny. I am anti flogging though

you are quite hard on the boy, and you know it.
I would have said he should get him diagnosed if he had ADHD but you said an expert already ruled that out, even though I think that's what might be the issue, but because he is still a lad, their characteristics is often misquoted for childhood exuberance.
truly he is forgetful, although he might pretend to be sometimes just to get away with some task, but he really is forgetful.
you just have to keep reminding him in love and enough of your shouting and smacking . it won't work. you are just pushing him too hard and he can't help himself. and you already have your mind set on how he will cause you trouble and be like other stereotyped black kid in the hood. please cut him some slack and raise that boy in love and in understanding. he's likely to outgrow this trait or they are likely to remain will you throw him out then ?
Nigerian schools are not equipped with childhood professionals who understand some developmental problems or delay a child might have. sending that boy to Nigeria is like sending him to his own doom. he will be abused , flogged and laughed over what he himself can't control. let him be with you and seek medical help. you can have another doctor diagnose him.
don't let that feel like he is a source of pains to the family . I know you have been abusing him verbally, too. just stop all of that and speak to a professional who will proffer ways on how you can manage and curtail this behaviour.
cheers!
I'm a childhood educator so I am speaking from experience. I have taught and still teaching kids like your boy. they can excel if you push them in love

Most women who stayed back are financially handicap.
Some stay to advoid societal mockery
Others, stay for the sake of their kids.
My sister was in same boat, didn't want to leave because of all the above reason, although hers was not domestic violence, it was unfaithfulness.it was the husband himself who said if she didn't leave, she she should be ready to wake up dead one day. My sis left.
She got a job began to watch her weight , talk some senses to herself, get an apartment and now she sleeps well at night with no fear of where and when and what is the next STI to be treated ?
Women should not be scared to move out if it is not working.
Life is sweet so enjoy it and let no MFvker make you feel like a dirt.

It will do good if your goods come with a price tag do we can make the decision of reaching you on your number if we are cool with the price .

You are done with office jobs? Yet you said you can do anything ? If you have certification, do get a job and save up to buy yourself one of those things you listed.
If people you know won't borrow !onwy , why should strangers ?
Go out there work and take care of your family. Bus conducting or pick a driving job.
No one owes you. You have to work it out!
If you kill yourself , you are a coward you kids will detest even a memory of you.

gosh! flog a three year old? that's pathetic! let him him be, that's his own way of growing up and his pace of learning for goodness sake! if he won't write until break time , then that's his own time and pace. you , the teacher and mum are abusing that lad. learning at his own age should be fun. you just have to keep talking to your child and reach an agreement with him. if you say he injures and tear other pupils books and pour their food , have you found out how the situation started ? what is the mindset of the teacher? has she concluded that he's a trouble child ? then trouble child she will get from him.
I'm an early child educator. and I see nothing wrong with your child. at 3 they are restless and hate to be controlled.

looking at this pictures. they reek of family which lack principles. just look at the girl beside the old many. money!!!

NUJABEZ:


My bath gel of choice i.e liquid soap is Jergens goat milk. I also use anything from Palmers.

I wash and scrub weekly with a product from ORIFLAME. I don't use daily because I've found it makes me more susceptible to sweating. Not necessarily a bad thing because it is as a result of more open pores.

thanks

NUJABEZ:
You need soap and cream for fresh glowing skin.

I've used a combination of Jergens Body Wash (N2, 500) and Nivea Cocoa Butter lotion (N1,800) with great result.

You can also try Dr. Palmers cocoa butter lotion and bath scrub (would cost about N5k for both items).

You also need to eat lots of fruits, cut down or eliminate sugar and sugary foods for your diet in order to achieve the best glow.

I have very lovely and healthy skin. I don't even need to dress fancy cuz my skin speaks for me.

I use Palmers. will like to add bath scrub to it. is there any one you will recommend ? a particular brand ? or I should go for any ? please respond

I can only imagine the troubles and battles going on in your mind. what you describe are symptoms of ADHD . I have one in my class and he's only a younger version of your descriptions. good in maths and things he does with his hands but find it hard to grabs abstract concepts. his parents just like yours wouldn't seek medical help.
I think you should talk to a behavioral doctor and see what happens from there .
if you are a believer in Christ , please do reach out to him , too. He cares

African women are hardworking. is not easy being woman truly.
here is the every day practical life of an African woman:
wakes very early, at least 6:am, cook, prepare kids for school , drops kids at school and run off to work. gets back , depending on arrangement , picks kids, or join them up at home. start cooking and clearing off morning mess, ensures kids are fed, bathed and ready for bed.
exhausted already, having compulsory sex.
cycle continues.
Saturday:clean , wash , cook. babysitting
Sunday : cook , prepare kids for church or any outing.
even when a woman decides to rest , kids won't let her , mental calculations on how to run the home and demands from office won't let her.
annoyingly in all of this , husband's demands financial support and expects her to do all the praying the family needs. haba God help the womenfolk.
I saw my mum do this and many of us here saw our mum do this , and presently most of us are in this cycle.
where is the place of the man in all of this ?
advise to single ladies : marry a rich man who will comfortably give you that life, a life where you can hire helps and still have your sanity. what about love and character you asked? find a man whom you love , who fears God , have good character and have money. yes it can come in one package

a teacher with a difference. truly, the teaching profession is not for everyone. a teacher should be ever ready to put his or her students needs ahead. greater height Mr Tabich

when you post this things , post the price

I need a good working laptop. new or used. that's my Christmas wish

I have been cheated on . although not marriage , but dating. I left when I found out. if it was marriage , I still would have left. you know why ? I can't bear been cheated upon and get to let you touch me again. so if i were you, i'll leave , maybe not divorce yet, but separation and see how things go. but then , don't take my words.
a guy up there asked you to ignore, get involve in something else and woman up! how easy will that be for you to handle emotionally? like acting like it never happen ? that's dead sentence for you. you will rot in silence and your husband will go on cheating; doing it tactically, worse still, become open and arrogant about his cheating life.
is all up to you to sit, think and decide what your emotions can suitably handle. go through everyone's advice , but be careful what you settle for. you know where it hurts.

last straw: if you are financially depending on him, please get something doing. you will need your own finance soon. good luck!

only God could have done this. congratulations! may the Lord lift you up again even higher.

Mahrhimah:
Hi I just joined Nairaland, although have been a ghost reader for a long while. Admist other thread I believe family thread have more mature people. However, I welcome alot of insults, abuse or bashing or what have you but after everything please help me.

It started since childhood, our maid (lady) introduce me to this stuff, then I was also repeated molestation by a respected family (man) of ours about age 4 or so. The man's way was very painful but the ladies way wasn't... They both exchanged me period by period through childhood and I grow up to become an helpless gay addict. I mean lesbian. Cos I am a lady I can't seem to help myself with same sex I always want to have sex with a girl. Especially the attractive ones. I want to get married and I want to be happy. I want to do the right thing but I can't seem to help myself... I tried having sex with guys but it was very painful so I stopped. I stick with ladies instead... How can i stop this madness my conscience is pricking me, I am In my mid twenties now, I should be in a serious relationship but I can't because of my attraction for girls.

You are free to abuse me. In short I have abused more than u can every abuse me... But at the end of the insult. Advice me, thank you

it isn't your fault that you turned out this way, and no you don't deserve to be abused. at early childhood where you were supposed to be expose to experiences that are positive and gearing towards growth- this experiences and growth being propelled by the significant adults in your life such as your parents and your maid and maybe the other male family who molested you- instead you were exposed to abused by these people and neglect by your parents. now you are a dysfunctional adult who is fighting her way out from an experience which has registered in her brain neurons. the pleasure from the maid has built a perception to you that sex with female is sweeter and the opposite is painful. my dear you need lots of counseling and reorientation. you might want to speak to a professional who won't judge you. I am an early childhood educator and I help traumatic children heal even adult who are traumatized from childhood experiences. if you will want to talk to me, please do quote me and say so, if not talk to someone else. yes you need God but God will talk to you through people. I wish you the best in whatever decision you settled for.

marriage , to me is not a must or "we die here together" if your happiness is being sabotaged, then leave ! who says we all have to remain married forever.
good you have a source of income, take care of your babies and damn that marriage. life is bae do not let someone turn you to nothing all in the name of staying married.

marriage ? ladies please enjoy your single status and keep working to better yourself. marriage takes a lot from you even your sanity.

it is a good thing that you have discover that your child is smart.
but then what is your definition of smartness? in what is he smart ? video games? while most kids play that well alright.
what IQ test did he take that make you think he is smart ? if he does well among his peers in class does that make him smart ? nay you are just comparing.
there are so many things parents can do to make their children smart even from early age. such as:
1. reading to them and modelling the habit of reading into them. there are many things reading does for a child
2. encourage your kids to learn a foreign language. Chinese, French or Spanish
3. make them get friendly with numbers
4. what are they watching and listening to ? wrestling or music channels were sex, drugs and money are the theme? reduce TV time to say 2 hours during week days and a little bit more on weekends. and yes there are educating channels such as discovery family
5. encourage them to ask questions. even when such questions shouldn't come from their age range, and answer truthfully.
6. let them draw, paint, write and learn to play at least one musical instruments .
7 . you can encourage them to prepare for and take external exams. private schools these days teach pupils only to pass exam and not to internalized learning .
encourage hands on task. avoid abstract teaching. let them work with what they are been taught. take for instance you can encourage them to plant seeds in cans and write their observation or keep pet for observations
8. let them play with educational games, such as Lego, puzzles, building, decoding and coding , quiz etc
9. encourage him to learn at least 3-5 words in a week their meanings and their usages .
in all, look for his interest and find him a successful adult in that area to mentor him
teach him to be polite, respective and actively involved with things that concern people.
lastly, build in him an entrepreneurial spirit. teach him that people work to solve problems and only problem solvers make money.
and yes! a time might come and it will look like he isn't looking smart as he used to, do not talk him down, instead help him grow. he's just a kid.
please do not set unrealistic milestones for your kid. slow down he's just a kid

it is high time Africans accepted that going to a doctor is not sin. science and many other heights attained in the medical fields are Miracles. God can use any means to bless you. seek every righteous way even IVF to get what you desire even if it is by adoption let God be praise.
#donotbeashametogethelp
that woman up there spoke about waiting on the lord
Bible didn't say do nothing while waiting.
work out your own salvation, wisdom is profitable to direct.

Wtfork:


From oshodi enter yaba from yaba enter unilag campus shuttle. . But if you are driving use your Google map and get to the above destinations accordingly !

thank you very much.

can anyone help me with direction on how to get to unilag from oshodi. it is urgent. please quote me.
thank you so much

omoluabi87:
Still available

omoluabi87:
Available

omoluabi87:
Still available

if one buys a land , must it have to be used for farming ?
and if yes, will I get readily labour who will help with all I need? like clearing and getting the farm set up?
are there other farmers in that neighborhood?
how far is this iseyin from Lagos ?
I'm a lagosian. will you advise me to have a farmland that far?
if I get this land and decide not to use it immediately, how safe will it be?
will I have dispute of ownership?
please quote me.

I have been following your thread. I have some questions:
1. what is the amount of the cheapest farming land one can get from an area not far from Lagos. let's say Ogun? (sango, ibafo, ikorudu etc)
2. if after getting a land, how much will it cost to put up a well profitable plantain farm ?
how long does it take before one can begin to harvest and make profit.
3. can you take one by the hand and help one start a farmland from land purchasing to start up ? whatwill all these cost?
please quote me