M/25/Lagos/Working

Looking for F/20-24/Anywhere for serious relationship...

08099984109

Hey ladies...08099984109.

WOW. It's been a long time since I came on NL. Just logged in now and it's so funny how time has passed.

Well, I changed jobs (got a better one last month) and I've been spending a lot of time on ME. I'm not ready yet for another relationship so I might as well keep to me. Like most of you said, she came begging, sent emissaries and all that but I didn't budge.

It has made me stronger. Thanks to everyone who commented (including the nasty ones) and prayed for me. My life is a lot more better now. Hopefully, I should be back to the "wife-search" market in the near future but for now, it's ME, ME and ME alone.

Nice ride. Please send more pics (rear view, interior and booth) to dokeleke (at) yahoo.com

I also need to know the mileage of the car and reason for sale. Very serious buyer here.

Gbyte:

This is indeed a sad story, I am looking at this story from another point of view, let's not all put the blame on the lady, I am not putting the blame on the guy either but let's weigh this issue here, you had a job that took all of your time and all you were able to do was talk to your GF on phone (body no be wood), that's one, and I also want you to put yourself in her shoes, I don't know how much love you've shown to her but on the other hand we should also understand that she's a lady and she's not growing younger, what am thinking is that she might not be sure of her stand with you; like if you are eeing someone else or not, that you could be away from her that long even though you talk on phone, thats not enough from my own point of view.  it's not like she was so confident to hurt you, but she made it CLEAR to you that she has no feeling for you again, there is something I want you to know here, every human's heart is like a gas burner that needs a gas cylinder with gas in it and if the gas cylinder has no more gas in it then it need to be replaced. Don't get me wrong, your are the gas cylinder here and you have no gas in you; you've not been around and she needs you around, its not all about sex but presence at time can mean alot to ladies at times; ladies in the house should tell me am lying

I read almost everyone's comment here and not just one person' would view this from the ladies point of view.
OP, I want you to know you made the right decision but still I don't want you to see the lady as a devil or disgrace to women because the reverse is the case, her heart has moved with another man who has time for her (atleast at the moment), not all human can stand the test of time, everybody has their breaking point, the mistake you made was that you did not take your time to discover her breaking point, she's reached her breaking point and she broke, I'm happy you said she was reluctant about visiting you again and you persisted then the poor girl honoured, one thing that made the whole difference was that SHE DID NOT SLEEP WITH YOU, though she must have Were Intimate with you in the past, but the moment she moved on, she did not allow you touch her even when you were sleeping together, not all women can do that, if am lying ask the guys here to tell you if they've slept with their ex even when she has another BF ( We often call it once there, always there). But she did not allow you, that even gave me the impression that she did not cheat on you for the period she dated you. SHe broke up with you long ago but was not strong enough to say it to you, some guys do that too. I want you to see that she's done the right thing, honoured your last invitation and still did not sleep with you. 4stars for that to her.
On a final note, she's moved on and am sure you've moved on too and I wish you all the best,
I hope people would see this the way am seeing it

Flesh and blood did not reveal that to you. I understand your P.O.V. but the question I have for you is that wouldn't life be easier if people could just be straightforward about things? If she had told me all this I would have understood. But even when I kept asking if there was another guy in the picture, she said there was no one.

I've moved on. But I'm sorry for her because one thing ladies don't know is that if a guy is aware that you are in a serious relationship and still chooses to flirt with you, with no regard to your partner or respect for what you claim to have with someone else, then the chances that he will do same with another lady while dating you is almost 100%.

I've learnt my lesson. Had to finally break the sad news to my siblings this evening. I feel lighter now though  

@ sicily, well its your choice to believe or not to believe but that doesn't change the fact that I did.

WOW! Lots of comments. To tell you the truth, I’m here on NL trying to pass away time and let go of the grief in my heart. To the poster that thinks this is a script, you are very wrong though life is a stage and we all are actors on that stage.
She returned after three hours and immediately started packing up her things. I didn’t say a word. When she was done, she told me she was leaving and would be staying with her childhood friend for a while. I kept mute, walked her to the door, wished her the best and that was it.
Deep down in my heart, I know she will return but my accepting her back would depend on my state of mind at that time, any commitment I might have made to another person and if she has really changed. Well, DEUCES to her for now.
I finally had to talk to two close friends of mine and they have said same with majority of the posters here- MOVE ON.
I am a gentleman (God bless my mother who raised me up and taught me how to live right) and I choose to remain this way despite the society in which I find myself. One of my favourite quotes by Sir Winston Churchill is
“The only guide to man is his conscience; the only shield to his memory is the rectitude and sincerity of his actions. It is very imprudent to walk through life without this shield, because we are so often mocked by the failure of our hopes and the upsetting of our calculations; but with this shield, however the fates may play, we march always in the ranks of honour”
Thank you all for your time and advice. It really helped. For now, I need to keep myself busy to flush out memories of the past four years.
God bless you.

Thank you all for your comments and advice. It has been one long morning. Let me clear the air about some issues some posters raised.
That I decided to join my father at his company was not because I am a “daddy’s boy” but he finally agreed to offer me a major controlling share in the company which was the reason I refused to work with him initially. So financially, it is a big leap for me.
My apartment is a modest one. I’m happy about that.
I asked her when I woke up this morning and I got the response I was expecting- ‘I don’t know’. I then took her down memory lane for a while to make her realize that she had really goofed. After that, I called off the relationship. I could see the shock on her face. She didn’t expect me to be blunt and insensitive. I called it off and gave her till noon to leave my apartment. She didn’t say a word while I walked away.
Since I was taking today off from work, I decided to work on some proposals I am expected to turn in this week. While working, she came up to me and asked for my audience. I granted her and she burst into tears immediately and could not even talk properly. I just sat where I was, sipping my coffee as though nothing happened. The truth is, I wasn’t feeling anything at that moment. I allowed her shed tears till she was able to speak. She then began to tell me the truth about the whole thing. How the guy had been her friend over the years and how he came around during the period she was in her childhood’s friend’s place and took her over to his….and blah blah blah.
Well, I told her it was too late and that her response ‘I don’t know’ meant she didn’t want to be with me. She kept on and on till I shut my system down and walked away. I just told her I didn’t want to see her when I returned.
I’m back to my apartment now. She is not in, but her things are still here. Inasmuch as I’m tempted to pack them up and drop them at the doorstep, I won’t. I would just wait till she gets back before I react.
My siblings and friends have been calling since morning, all excited about my supposed BIG day. I have tried my best to be diplomatic because I don’t want anyone to come rushing and begging me at this time.
I await her return.

My story :

I have been dating my current girlfriend for four years now. I started dating her in my final year in school and it has been wonderful all the way. I love her very much and she used to love me too. I must confess, she has been exceptional. We have been through it all. I'm from a very humble background and she is from same, but despite the challenges we faced, we always pulled through. My whole family (nuclear and extended) know her and her name is a brand name in my family house.

I finally got a job in April this year after eight months of searching. It was not a very fantastic job, but the pay was okay. It was in an industry entirely different from my background (I studied engineering) but I decided to take it and make a career out of it. Unfortunately, this was not to be. The job required that I work Mondays to Sundays and often closing late hours (10pm, 11pm) or sleeping over at the office to meet a deadline. I tried to adjust to the culture but it was difficult. This affected most of my relationships as my friends complained I never kept in touch and my girlfriend did too (though I used to call her almost everyday in the week). I guess she felt it more because she was serving then and had more idle time. I couldn't keep up with the midnight calls, daily calls, etc. But I ensured I spoke to her often and never failed in my financial obligations.

Things at my place of work took a different toll two months ago and I realized I couldn't continue anymore. I weighed my options and opted to join my father at his company. That way, I would be able to earn more and have more time to myself. One of the secondary reasons I decided to resign was also because I wanted to have more time for my girlfriend and my other male friends (some of which had already given up on me).

I called her up and told her my plans and she said it was fine, as far as it would make me happy. I then pleaded with her to come to see me in Lagos so we could spend time together. She stalled for a few weeks and finally showed up. But she had changed. She expressed her unhappiness at the poor communication within the past month and I apologized and promised it would never happen. She kept mentioning it every now and then and I kept apologizing and trying to appease her. She told me she didn't feel anything for me anymore (this shocked me because we never had any issue and the poor communication was for just a few weeks). I explained to her that the relationship was not founded based on feelings neither was it feelings that sustained it for the past four years. I told her I understood and I was glad we could finally work things out.

Unfortunately, the worst was yet to come. She never allowed me touch her and even attempt to kiss me and whenever I asked why, she said the feelings were not there and that "like you said, they would come back with time". She later told me she was going to spend a few days with a childhood friend (known very well by me) and would be back after three days. I gave her some money, she left and never called. I had to call her later that day (since I hadn't heard from her) and her excuse for not letting me know she had arrived was that she didn't have airtime. Like the patient man that I am, I understood. The next day, she didn't still call and same with the third. When I called to ask when she would be back, she told me she was going to stay an extra day. Though I had missed her, I gave my consent and she returned the next day.

Even after she returned, her attitude didn't change but I decided to give her time. I returned from work today, picked up my system to do some homework and coincidentally, her facebook page was still open and a chat window with the guy (I noticed a particular guy used to call almost everyday) was opened. I read through the chat and what I saw still baffles me. In a nutshell, she is dating the guy, he knows about me, they have been making out (not sure about sexual intercourse) and she was even at his place during the three days she claimed to have been with her childhood friend.

What pains me most is that I was going to propose to her tomorrow. I have bought the ring, planned it all out with my siblings and close friends and was happily waiting for the moment. Heartbroken, sad, and angered, I called her, told her my findings, and gave her till tomorrow to decide if she wants to be with me or not. If I don't get a response, I'm calling it off.

It's painful. Four years of hoping, believing and staying committed. Four years of waiting till she says YES. Four years!

At this point, I have become totally insensitive to anything. As dawn approaches, I await her response. I have made up my mind that if she says she wants to be with me, and is remorseful about her actions, I will forgive her but we will need to go back to the drawing board. If she wants out, I will give her 2hrs to get out of my apartment! If she doesn't say anything, I will call it off and tell her to leave.

I await dawn 

Still available and negotiable,

I have a neat BlackBerry Storm 2 up for sale.

Price: 27,000

Call 08027369697.

Great people,

Please help me out. I intend applying to Seneca College (Graduate Certificate in Project Management-Environmental) and Conestoga College (Graduate Certificate in Environmental Engineering Applications). The thing is, I don't know how good these colleges are and my chances of employment after graduation.

For the records, I have applied to many Canadian universities for masters but none accepted my 2.2 degree (GPA of 3.48). Hence my resolve to opt for a graduate certificate course. The graduate certificate courses above seem to be more of a perfect fit for me compared to other graduate programs.

My first degree was in Chemical Engineering and I have about 2 yrs work experience in the construction (environmental) sector. I intend to start studies in Canada by next Sept (2012).

I need those based in Canada or with a good idea of the educational system there to tell me how these colleges rank, considering I will be spending about $10,000 on tuition.

All replies are welcome.