c.four- Contrary to what queensmith believes, it is possible to be raised by parents to be competent in both fields. Certainly you can never give 100% both ways but you can certainly make both function.
My father raised me to be career orientated, he was not the kind of man that could tolerate failure. But he also emphasised the need to be able to take care of ones self. As long as you cannot cook you will always eat low quality food, no matter how rich you are, because you can never guarantee how the food is prepared. He even used to wake us up at 4 in the morning to go to the farm, while I was an undergraduate. he had this hobby farm and then it pissed me off, but today I realise that he did it in our interest.
c.four i worked many years full time and it did function and that with kids.  At the moment I just work part- time because I have a little baby, but as he gets older I shall increase my hours.
As I mentioned needs to be organised. If you learn to tidy up after yourself and get others to do the same it is not much work. You can spend hours cleaning but it brings little if it`s all going to be messed up immediately after. I also raise my kids to be competent in household chores and believe you me they still have time for their schoolwork, hobbies and all other activities.

Queensmith what is career womans talk? keeping a home is not just about cleaning it but entails so much more, but maybe you don´t understand that.
Besides it does not matter how expensive things are, without cleaning and maintenance, they become useless. I actually derive pleasure from cleaning, it is a good way of letting off steam.
I love cooking my own food, so I can determine what I eat.

Anyone who is properly trained as a chid will not have a problem combining a career with their household.
She does not need a house help.

Poster did you not grow up with responsibilities and chores you had to do? That might be why you are having problems now.
It`s just you and your husband so you are practically just cleaning up after yourselves.
The most important thing is not even the tidying but learning not to make a mess. At the early stage of marriage you should actually be deriving pleasure from keeping a home.
personally I do not see t big deal there are no kids involved. What are you going to do the day you get regnant and it all gets harder.
It`s called taking responsibility. If you are not good at it - learn.
You should not be asking how career women cope with domestic chores because they do. Look for concrete tips on how to get things done effectively.

As for the cooking and freezing - my family does not eat any food after the second day.

The key word is his headship. Does a head not have the option to negotiate or not?This is a disciplinary action and not pettiness.
She would do well to submit by apologising.

DEBRIEF. do I have to remind you of the roles of a woman and man?

So how many years are you giving this projects of yours to work and what happens to the kids in that time. Sure- just shove them to boarding school because a woman is too lazy to get her act together.
Another woman will certainly get the home functioning.
The marriage is not troubled, one person is just not performing. Do you think the man has not used up all his saliva and done everything to get her moving.

All these indirect apologies do not work with some men. You can use all the tactics but he would insist on an apology. This issue has gone on too long for some ass jiggling to function. We can make light of it but everyone knows that such a situation should not arise in a marriage.
When an african man stops eating his wife`s food he is speaking volumes and not being petty.

I hate no one. But I do hate some situations and qualities in a man or woman.
THIS WOMAN IS RUNNING DOWN HER HOME . The men and children are being adversely affected. The well being of the kids is not secured. They have to live with the damage.
Since her offence is that of omission I would not ask the man to send her away, but simply to take another wife. That way she still remains with her kids and the competition might make her sit up

I guess it is relevant because child abuse has so, something to do with family.
It is so sad really.

Just get a second wife there is no cure for laziness!

I have to ask my husband if he would wear this, even just privately as a sign of his love.
I fear his answer would be NO

Queen can you please break down. I cannot understand you.

CC abeg talk true!!!
Are you telling me you will not have started begging even from day one?

Okija do not worry. I still have a daughter, just keep gathering the money

ileobatoja, you are right in most things, but i was addressing the woman not the husband. He does not benefit from whatever is written here.

I will never beg him!!!
and
He will never eat your food!!!

How can a woman expect the man to eat her food when he is still offended, and obviously there must be something really wrong.
Before a man deprives himself of food, then there are issues involved.
How could the woman let this go on even three days talk less of 3 weeks. No matter how right she thinks she is she must beg, if she loves the man. How can a woman watch her husband go without food.
Foolish woman - go down on your knees and BEG!!!

Poster, the title of your post stinks and is simply nasty.
I hope i t is not your behaviour that is driving your poor wife nuts

It is better to be unhappy with someone you love, than unhappy with someone you don`t love.
What if you get another lady someday and find out she cheated on you too.
Look she has made a mistake and regrets. Be man enough to deal with it. Is this about pain or hurt pride?
Women are very vulnerable, especially when they are of marriageable age.
With time as you get married and have kids you will bond even more and things that seem so important now will seem trivial.
Imagine you sister made such a mistake, would you not wish that the fiancee forgive her. Now you have the opportunity to show this girl that you love her - because love is not proud and can forgive.
I respect that girl, she is one in a million. She confessed because she did not want to betray you and make you live with a lie. She risked her happiness and the future of the relationship because she wanted to go into the marriage with you on an honest foundation.
Does that not count at all.
Please snap out of it and all will be well - after all that is the reason why people get married - to belong solely to one another.
EVERYONE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE!!!

taryour,
neither is Jenny

I cannot but pity the husband- it may sound weird.
This man confessed that he was in an EMOTIONAL relationship. Which so much as means he had someone who loved him and understood him and vice versa and all the rest that differentiates humans from animals.
Your post is full of I , I this , I that , I forgave. I missed the WE. You needed to have addressed the main problem that your husband had found love outside his home. Yo needed to have set him free to be with his love or tried to find the love you guys once had.
Your whole write up and actions you took are those of someone protecting their property. not of a woman trying to find love again with her husband.
You even took of 4 months without the issues being cleared.
Your husband is a decent man for not sacking the woman. Why should he sack a company staff who has not faulted in her work because of a private issue?  Why should you go and confront the woman at her working place? You overstepped your boundaries .hat is why it was okay for your husband not to have embarrassed her there.
I hate men that cheat on wives, i also think it is a health risk.
But I also think it is senceless thinking a man or woman is your proerty and is obliged to stay with you, when every emotion is dead.
You should have invested more time loving and caring than controling and fighting.
This man was not born with your name on hi forehead. In marriage we need to earn to rekindle our love and never to take anything for granted.
Your husband is in love, not cheating on you.
What you should do? - Thank God the lady has taken a walk and try to find love once more,
on the other hand if you are not capable of loving and forgiving , say godbye.
Not trying to be mean- just giving you a jolt in another direction. I hope i all work out for you both.

Its only his pain and grief gone amok. Some people react that way because they cannot cry it out.
Poster the fact that you say she has turned good means you feel sad that your brother did not get to enjoy this good art of her. Believe you me not a day goes by without her thinking of your brother and how she should have done more for him.
Glad you see her turned good. Maybe she was good all the time but the problems between her and your brother did not let you be neutral.
People do not suddenly turn good.
Stand to her and help her raise her kids in the family. In this world we live in it`s all about compassion and tolerance

Sorry padon Jenny. Did I not just read recently that people get both names confused
Must be my homones getting things mixed up today.

I too am spreading the news, in every way I can

What Makes A Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard him say
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true
But, God, can you be a mother
When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can he replied
With confidence in his voice
I give many women babies
When they leave it is not their choice
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for the day
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this God
I want my baby here

He took a breath
and cleared his throat
And then I saw a tear
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear
My mommy loved me so much
I got to come straight here
I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me
I learned my lessons very quickly
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow is where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I am here"

So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are okay
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lessons are through
And on the day you come home
they'll be at the gates for you

So now you see
What makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start
Though some on earth
May not realize
Until their time is done
Remember all the love you have
And know that you are
A Special Mom

Ifyalways I will shut up and shut down
Is she the first corper to get married?

We are talking of a seperation of about half a year and they both live in Nigeria.

I feel you- it is sad

she said - anyone can say anything.
You asked for advise I have given my own opinion, it may or may not be right - only the devil knows the intent of a man or woman.

The girl is buying some time to see if she gets a better option. Other option she is still harvesting in other fields.
Does this man need to be told!! Is marriage in Nigeria done in a day. Someone getting married in October can start now with the formal introductions, registry wedding, traditional etc. So even if he want to get married now, before every arrangement is made some months might have elapsed

The cry for help is coming from an outsider Debrief, i can understand how mad you are. i felt the same way. It is so sad.