So Upset with These People

My married cousin, with 4 kids, has been to my house at least 10 times.

He does sleep over for 2-7 days. Back then, food wasn't this expensive. Also, where I stay is the most expensive place in Nigeria when it comes to food — even Abuja can't compare.

He came last time and spent 2 weeks with a girl. My expenses went up even though they contributed immensely in the kitchen department. They were cool and fun.

She's homely, a chef and she can cook delicious meals, clean, sweep, etc. I appreciate her for that, but I have lost my freedom. I can't walk around the house nákéd as I used to because of their presence.

This month, July, after the girl was done with her dad's burial, my cousin messaged me that he'd like to come over with her to spend some days.

I agreed because I don't want to seem like a bad cousin. I later messaged him to ask how many days he wants to spend. He said he'll get back to me. He got back and said 4-5 days.

They came on the 2nd of July, but they haven't left yet. It's now 7 days and I'm so anxious for them to go. Two Cyway water has finished. Food that serves me doesn't anymore.

Yes, they contribute, but I'm no longer enjoying it. I think I'm used to being alone. My life is more fun when I'm alone my myself.

I don't want siblings, cousins, aunts, parents, etc. around me. I love them, but I only want to spend 1-2 days max with people. Even if I'm fxcking you, staying too long around me is boring.

After they've left, when next they want to come, I'll tell him womanizing is expensive. He spends a minimum of 70-100k whenever they come on JUST food. 90% of people's income over here goes into feeding. It's way too expensive here. This is why everyone must embrace agriculture.

I wonder if his children are feeding well. So, I want to be a good cousin next time by telling him to focus more on the responsibilities he brought into this world. Married men too like pxssies.

So, I'm really thinking of how to say it to avoid offending him and creating hatred. Maybe, next time, I should tell him I can only spare two night max.

Their presence takes away my freedom and I'm constantly buying things I never wanted to buy.

The money is not the big issue, but the money doesn't have value and I have zero freedom. Also, when they go, any lifestyle of mine they don't like, they might use it to gossip. I don't like giving people the privilege of having anything to gossip about me.

Imagine I'm one of those people that eat fried rice while drinking garri. Surely, they'll laugh and gossip about it behind me. Imagine if my toilet isn't clean. They'll gossip about it and call me dirty.

I really want to stop this so that his wife will have her husband back. It's as if I'm encouraging this behavior by accommodating them. If any of them dies here, police will arrest me.

So, if you're in my shoe, what will you do?

I can't believe someone as blunt as me can't speak because of fear of being hated by a family member.

iLegendd:


So, what's the best way to handle it? I already have what to do, but I want to hear yours.

It will be better for you if you can see a counselling psychologist

Up Trump!!!

KingCold:
There are too many threads about this topic, it's becoming weird, lol

The only thing is just that religion can not solve the matter like pastors have been putting it

KingCold:
Lol, why are there so many threads about "overcoming masturbation" on this forum? and they usually pop up on Sundays. . is there a masturbation epidemic in Nigeria? or am I missing something?

It is a serious challenge for whoever is facing the menace

VBCampaign:
In this video, Pastor Deji Yesufu, minister at Providence Reformed Baptist Church Ibadan, situated at the University of Ibadan, talks about the sensitive subject of masturbation. He proffers biblical solutions to it.

Below, is also an article on the subject.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1tLyGkagNM?si=G95Kck7lpthWAL_N

When it comes to addressing masturbation, psychology offers several advantages over religion due to its grounding in scientific evidence, focus on mental health, and individualized approach. Psychology is rooted in scientific research and evidence-based practices, allowing for a nuanced understanding of masturbation as a natural and common human behavior. Studies have shown that masturbation is a normal part of sexual development and does not inherently cause harm. By relying on empirical data, psychological approaches debunk myths and misconceptions that may arise from non-scientific sources.

Moreover, psychology prioritizes the mental and physical well-being of individuals. It views masturbation through the lens of overall health, considering factors like guilt, anxiety, and compulsive behavior. By addressing these aspects, psychologists help individuals develop a healthy relationship with their sexuality. This stands in contrast to the often guilt-inducing and shame-based perspectives found in some religious teachings. By focusing on mental health, psychology aims to reduce negative emotions and promote a balanced and healthy view of sexual behavior.

Psychological interventions are tailored to the needs of the individual, ensuring that recommendations and strategies are relevant and effective for each person. Therapists and counselors work with clients to understand their unique experiences and concerns, providing a personalized approach that contrasts with the more generalized and rigid teachings of some religious perspectives. This individualized care fosters a supportive environment where individuals can explore their feelings and behaviors without fear of judgment.

Furthermore, psychology promotes a non-judgmental and inclusive attitude towards human sexuality, recognizing that sexual behaviors, including masturbation, are part of the spectrum of human experience. This acceptance helps individuals feel more comfortable and less stigmatized, encouraging open discussion and exploration of their concerns. Religious perspectives, on the other hand, can sometimes foster shame and guilt, creating an environment where individuals may feel judged or ostracized.

Psychologists also provide therapeutic support to help individuals manage any distress associated with masturbation. This support includes helping individuals understand their behavior, address any underlying psychological issues, and develop coping strategies if masturbation becomes compulsive or problematic. The therapeutic relationship fosters a supportive environment, leading to healthier outcomes.

Summing it up all, psychology's scientific basis, focus on mental health, individualized approach, non-judgmental attitude, and therapeutic support make it a more effective and compassionate framework for addressing masturbation compared to religion. By prioritizing the well-being and unique needs of individuals, psychology offers practical and evidence-based strategies that promote a healthy relationship with sexuality unlike the biblical religion you have set up there.

So psychology should be the last hope of every individual just like in the working states.

For brothers struggling with masturbation and genuinely have the mind of shunning the behaviour, I have put paper and pen together engaging my psychology prowess to proffer solutions to the menace. Check it below for your perusal and use, it is also beneficial for our ladies in the same shoe...You can indicate or mention my moniker on a dead thread if you will like to get my ebook "Banishing the Barriers of Addiction, Annihilating the Symptoms Totally" at a very little amount. It is a simple self DIY ebook.

Enjoy the reading

Masturbation is a natural and common behavior, but it can become problematic if it disrupts daily life, relationships, or personal goals. Psychological methods offer effective strategies to manage and reduce excessive masturbation through understanding, behavior modification, and cognitive restructuring.

One key psychological approach is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps individuals identify and change the thought patterns and behaviors that lead to excessive masturbation. By recognizing triggers and developing healthier coping mechanisms, individuals can reduce their reliance on this behavior. For example, replacing the urge to masturbate with activities like physical exercise, hobbies, or other productive tasks can help refocus the mind.

Mindfulness and stress reduction techniques are also crucial. Practices such as meditation and deep-breathing exercises help individuals become more aware of their urges without acting on them impulsively. Mindfulness teaches the skill of observing thoughts and feelings without judgment, which can lessen the power of the urges over time.

Setting realistic goals and self-monitoring is another effective strategy. Keeping a journal to track instances of masturbation can help identify patterns and triggers. Setting gradual, achievable goals for reducing frequency can make the process less overwhelming and more manageable. Positive reinforcement, such as rewarding oneself for meeting these goals, can also enhance motivation and success.

Building a strong support system is essential. Engaging in therapy with a psychologist or counselor can provide guidance, accountability, and support. Additionally, sharing struggles with trusted friends or support groups can reduce feelings of isolation and provide encouragement.

Finally, addressing underlying emotional or psychological issues is crucial. Excessive masturbation can often be a symptom of deeper issues such as anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem. Tackling these root causes through therapy can lead to long-term improvement and healthier coping mechanisms.

In conclusion, psychological methods such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness, goal setting, support systems, and addressing underlying issues offer comprehensive and effective strategies for managing and reducing excessive masturbation. These approaches foster self-awareness, healthier coping skills, and ultimately, a better quality of life.

You can book a session with us as we do online consultancy as well with on-site consultation at Watermark Psychological consultancy...you can request for my easy to understand ebook "Banishing the Barriers of Addiction" it covers all areas both substance and behaviour addictions and also proffer straight forward DIY solutions treatment

The baale own baffled me, meanwhile after their jail term or freedom from NDLEA nest they can be subjected to see a psychologist

A psychologist will help free your mind...better still you can request for my ebook "Banishing the Barriers of Addiction"

ManirBK:
Fayose should be taught a lesson and It's a great achievement that President Buhari has finally been able to cage the country's looters in one single box called "Coalition of United Potential Prisoners" (CUPP).
He deserves my vote to complete the good work and finally free the country from those who perceive themselves as its OWNERS.

And has that happened? Joker of the first order

There is an urgent need for Psychologists in our society and the country at all levels, in this scenario now forensic psychologists would be good but even our educationists are not that better compared with the politicians.

Psychology, the scientific study of mind and behavior, plays a crucial role in understanding human actions, emotions, and interactions. In Nigeria, a nation with diverse cultures, languages, and socioeconomic challenges, embracing and integrating psychology into various sectors can significantly enhance national growth and development. Here are several reasons I think psychology should be embraced, imbibed, and utilized in Nigeria just like the working countries abroad.

Enhancing Mental Health Care

Mental health issues are prevalent globally, and Nigeria is no exception. According to the World Health Organization, one in four Nigerians may suffer from mental illness at some point in their lives. Despite this high prevalence, mental health services in Nigeria are grossly inadequate, with a severe shortage of trained mental health professionals and facilities. By embracing psychology, Nigeria can develop a robust mental health care system that includes preventive measures, early diagnosis, and effective treatment of mental health disorders. Psychologists can work alongside other health professionals to provide comprehensive care, reduce the stigma associated with mental illness, and promote mental well-being.

Improving Educational Outcomes

Education is the cornerstone of national development, and psychology offers valuable insights into how people learn and develop. Psychologists can help design curricula that cater to diverse learning styles and needs, ensuring that all students have the opportunity to succeed. They can also provide support for students with learning disabilities, behavioral issues, and emotional problems, helping them overcome obstacles to their education. By integrating psychology into the education system, Nigeria can improve educational outcomes, reduce dropout rates, and produce a more skilled and competent workforce.

Enhancing Workplace Productivity

In the workplace, psychology can be used to improve employee satisfaction, motivation, and productivity. Industrial and organizational psychologists study workplace behavior and apply their findings to create better work environments. They can help organizations develop fair recruitment and promotion practices, design effective training programs, and foster a positive organizational culture. In Nigeria, where unemployment and underemployment are significant issues, utilizing psychology to enhance workplace productivity can lead to economic growth and stability.

Addressing Social Issues

Nigeria faces numerous social challenges, including poverty, crime, and corruption. Social psychologists study how individuals behave in groups and the influence of social contexts on behavior. By applying their insights, Nigeria can develop effective strategies to address these social issues. For example, community-based interventions can be designed to reduce crime and violence, promote social cohesion, and foster a sense of community. Psychology can also play a role in understanding and combating corruption by exploring the underlying psychological factors that contribute to unethical behavior.

Promoting National Unity

Nigeria is a country of great diversity, with over 250 ethnic groups and multiple religious beliefs. This diversity, while a strength, can also lead to conflict and division. Psychology offers tools for promoting understanding and tolerance among different groups. Psychologists can facilitate dialogue and conflict resolution, helping to bridge divides and build a more unified nation. By promoting national unity, Nigeria can harness the full potential of its diverse population and work towards common goals.

Supporting Effective Governance

Effective governance is essential for national development, and psychology can contribute to better governance practices. Political psychologists study the psychological factors that influence political behavior and decision-making. By understanding these factors, policymakers can design policies that are more likely to be accepted and supported by the public. Additionally, psychology can be used to improve public administration by training government officials in leadership, communication, and conflict resolution skills.

Enhancing Personal Development

On an individual level, psychology can contribute to personal growth and development. It offers tools for self-awareness, emotional regulation, and interpersonal skills, all of which are essential for personal success and well-being. By promoting psychological literacy, Nigeria can empower its citizens to lead healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Lastly, embracing psychology in Nigeria is not just an academic exercise; it is a practical necessity for national growth and development. From improving mental health care and educational outcomes to enhancing workplace productivity and addressing social issues, psychology offers valuable tools and insights that can help Nigeria navigate its challenges and seize its opportunities. By integrating psychology into various sectors, Nigeria can build a more resilient, prosperous, and cohesive society.

In recent years, Nigeria has grappled with numerous challenges, including economic instability, social unrest, mental health crises, and a burgeoning youth population struggling with unemployment and underemployment. Amid these issues, one profession stands out as uniquely positioned to offer profound and multifaceted benefits: psychology. By prioritizing the employment and integration of psychologists within its framework, the Nigerian government can significantly improve the well-being of its citizens and foster national development.

Addressing the Mental Health Crisis

Nigeria is experiencing a significant mental health crisis. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), approximately 20-30% of Nigerians are affected by mental health disorders. Despite this, mental health services are severely underdeveloped, with only about 250 psychiatrists serving a population of over 200 million. Psychologists, with their expertise in mental health, can play a critical role in addressing this gap.

Psychologists can provide essential services such as counseling, therapy, and crisis intervention. They can help in diagnosing and treating mental health conditions, offering support that is often inaccessible to many Nigerians. By integrating psychologists into the healthcare system, the government can ensure that mental health receives the attention it deserves, ultimately leading to a healthier, more productive populace.

Enhancing Educational Outcomes

The Nigerian education system faces numerous challenges, including overcrowded classrooms, inadequate infrastructure, and high dropout rates. Psychologists, particularly counselling or educational psychologists, can contribute significantly to addressing these issues. They can work with teachers to develop effective teaching strategies, identify students with learning disabilities, and provide support for students facing emotional and behavioral challenges.

By employing psychologists in schools, the government can help create a more inclusive and supportive educational environment. This will not only improve academic performance but also ensure that students develop the social and emotional skills necessary for success in life. Investing in psychologists within the education sector is an investment in the future of Nigeria.

Boosting Workplace Productivity

Workplace productivity is essential for economic growth and development. Industrial and organizational psychologists specialize in understanding workplace behavior and designing interventions to improve employee satisfaction, motivation, and efficiency. By prioritizing the employment of psychologists in both public and private sectors, the Nigerian government can enhance workplace environments and boost overall productivity.

Psychologists can assist in developing fair recruitment practices, creating effective training programs, and promoting positive organizational cultures. They can also address workplace stress and burnout, contributing to a healthier, more motivated workforce. This, in turn, can lead to increased economic output and a more competitive economy.

Tackling Social Issues

Nigeria faces significant social issues, including crime, violence, and corruption. Psychologists, especially those specializing in social, personality and community psychology, can offer valuable insights and interventions to address these problems. They can help design community programs aimed at reducing crime and violence, promote social cohesion, and support efforts to combat corruption.

For example, psychologists can work with law enforcement agencies to develop community policing strategies that build trust between police and communities. They can also design interventions that address the psychological underpinnings of corrupt behavior, promoting integrity and accountability. By leveraging the expertise of psychologists, the government can make meaningful progress in addressing these pervasive social issues.

Promoting National Unity

Nigeria's diversity is one of its greatest strengths, but it also presents challenges in terms of national unity. Psychologists can play a crucial role in promoting understanding and tolerance among different ethnic, religious, and cultural groups. Through conflict resolution and peace-building initiatives, psychologists can help bridge divides and foster a sense of national cohesion.

By prioritizing psychologists in government-led initiatives aimed at promoting national unity, Nigeria can harness its diversity for collective growth and development. Psychologists can facilitate dialogues, mediate conflicts, and design programs that celebrate diversity while promoting a shared national identity.

Supporting Effective Governance

Good governance is essential for national development, and psychologists can contribute to more effective governance practices. Political psychologists study the psychological factors that influence political behavior and decision-making. By understanding these factors, the government can design policies and programs that are more likely to gain public support and achieve their intended outcomes.

Additionally, psychologists can provide training for government officials in areas such as leadership, communication, and conflict resolution. This can enhance the effectiveness of public administration and ensure that government services are delivered more efficiently and equitably.

Finally, prioritizing the employment and integration of psychologists within the Nigerian government is not merely a matter of improving mental health services or enhancing educational outcomes. It is a strategic move that can contribute to national development in multiple, interrelated ways. By addressing mental health crises, boosting workplace productivity, tackling social issues, promoting national unity, and supporting effective governance, psychologists can play a pivotal role in the betterment of Nigerian society.

The Nigerian government must recognize the profound impact that psychologists can have and take proactive steps to prioritize their role in national development. This includes investing in psychology education, creating job opportunities for psychologists, and integrating psychological services into various sectors. By doing so, Nigeria can create a healthier, more productive, and more unified nation, poised to achieve its full potential.

© (2024)

This is just an admonition to the government at all levels in Nigeria to make use of the human resources in their jurisdiction for the betterment of the nation.

Ahnie home town

Caaz:
I lol at the ....I don't have family members

You fall from up ni?

What's up f'ugly ahnie

[quote author=Leetee123 post=130766224][/quote]


Beverly own is now slippers

Hope you are not trying to parade and promote them for good payer

Nigerian guys are cashing out biggerly from abroad women unlike Nigerian ladies making life worse for them

Hmm

ahnie:
I take number 3 very serious,I have once had serious issues with someone because of this same nasty comments.

And he stopped that nonsense.


An incident played out today and I was proud of how my daughter handled it,the lady was vexed,my daughter told her she was panned out running errands for her,that she needed a break,the lady was offended,and wanted spanking her,my geh told her not to dare spank her that she has right to object to whatever she is not comfy with.
Then she excused the lady.

Me I was just watching the free episode

Xup our bride

GuestMode:
told you I have generated 100 monikers asides for that woman..
I just dey busy since I come back from work.
I'll create a thread later in the evening with more exposês and tag you guys
Ccobainoman6

Thanks, don't hesitate to carry me along as that daughter of perdition needs to be taught a great lesson

It is more than what we see...don't tell me it is suicide.

I wonder what kind of journalism we have these days that will take bribe to report rubbish in order to clean up evidence and reality...Mohbad death is still fresh in our memory. journalism/media is presently zero in Nigeria

Obainoman6:

Please where is the pictures o i won see am, abeg

Some moderators are assisting her to clean the pics up just like the Nigerian Army did (clean up) during endsars at lekki to the dead protesters


They have banned premierlead for sharing it

Wotowotoman:
Ahnie stop hiding o. Come out and apologize to Oldnairalanderb pozehnani wey you dey drag since. I know you are reading this.

They have banned some nairaland senior men just because of that ahnie, who has the same monikers as caaz, Annie2gud just to mention but a few.

One of the men banned recently is premierlead, this is a person ahnie lied to have died of accident...lying on the forum which is forbidden by the rule and regulation of the same forum that banned people for busting and exposing a lying ahnie, (annie2gud, caaz)...this forum is not just balance

Wotowotoman:


Omooba please where is Ahnie?

She's still in her hideout since she was bursted by CIA and FBI in the house

Don't know what to type because of ahnie, caaz Annie2gud Anita Sebakeoghene Osanebi

777Likes9Shares:
I have been watching from the side lines and I must commend those who exposed that lying mother of malnutritious kids.
Ahine is always online everyday trolling people and calling them beggers and scammers. Nobody knew the thing was low key begging for 2k all over nairaland until now.

Ahnie, me I am yet to start with you o. I have Been laughing since day before yester when I stumbled on this thread

What even made it more funny was your lying ass swearing that your Account number was not on nairaland.

The day she turned me to an enemy was when she asked me to assist someone financially when in the true sense of it it was her and the account no was the same as what has been flying everywhere recently

Misplaced priority

Caffeine:
Scary stuff. Hope it gets sorted brother. Condolences on your loss.

Not yet sir,

The respondents (husband and wife) were expected on that day at the law court but refused to show up. May we not admit deadly tenant into our house.

Polaris1:
Sorry for the loss of your dad.
This may be complex.
The plaintiff (your dad) has passed on, hopefully your lawyer may apply to the court for you to be joined and for accelerated hearing to be granted to you.
Diabolicals can't be proved so I suggest you tone down that angle.
The agent that brought him is of minor importance.
If there were no written tenancy agreement I daresay the previous 3 months notice to quit (may) be voided. Oral agreements are as valid as written ones but do you have witnesses and other supporting evidence?
Is the defendant represented by a lawyer?
Has he filed a response? (Your lawyer will know)
A lot also depend on the disposition of the judge.

Since the eviction process is already initiated in court, your lawyer is your best asset.
If you sit down with him, he should be able to explain the barriers and possible outcomes to you.
Pay him a visit.
Once again, accept my condolences.

Thank you, you're so much appreciated

Good day everyone,

Dad rented out a two bedroom flat to a guy and lady (couple) in their late twenties, the guy from kuta area of Osun and the girl from Ilorin back in 2019, they paid in June but he allowed their money to start reading officially in July despite the fact that they already took charge since that month of June. They were brought by one shopless road side estate agent (quack). The following year, July 2020 they paid the year rent in almost five instalments with 25k being the highest and in average of one and half month, note that the total annual rent is just one hundred thousand naira and in the subsequent year 2021 (third year) they refused to pay anything throughout but not until around August ending when he decided to get another agent. This time a responsible and professional estate agent who advised him to lock them out in the night and give the rest of the tenants each spare key of the new lock to the main gate which he did and with the look of thing that very day, they slept at the boy father's house, a face me face you upstairs with several vacant rooms where nobody likes to live and is not too far from our place. His father is diabolic and has been attested to by people in their vicinity.


They had to come home very early in the morning the following day and on that day, the guy paid seventy thousand naira through transfer into the account of the new agent meaning that the money was available but only decided to take dad for granted just because of his leniency and someone with soft and subtle mind.


Then father asked the new estate manager to prepare litigation through a legal practitioner and before a law court using the seventy thousand naira paid. Lest I forget, this couple had already been served three months quit notice and another final seven days amidst their non payment period but still, these guys never care.


These people neither practise Christianity nor Islam as young as they are but always bring some alfas to their apartment for some kind of private things not known to anybody in the compound, though that is their own cup of tea in as much as they are not troubling others.


The professional estate manager finally file a case at a court of law and is to hold on the 27th day of September, 2022 and the case is to: answer the plaintiff's claim for "Recovery of vacant possession of two (2) bedrooms flat with its appurtenance occupying by the defendant as a tenant in the plaintiff's property." Part of the particular of claim is non payment of vigilante fee of #1000 per month with effect from 1st November 2021 until the defendant deliver up vacant possession. Also payment of electricity fee at the sum of #2,000 per month with effect from 1st February, 2020 until the defendant deliver up vacant possession. Lastly on the particulars of claim is "payment of litigation fee as a cost of institute this action against the defendants. "


The summon was brought by a bailiff to the defendant on Saturday 27th of August, 2022 in order to meet them at home. By and large, the wife was met at home with her two kids she bore when they got to our house and was served the paper. All these were to eject them from the premise and nothing more. They are to be at the law court for appearance on the 27th of September, 2022. Lo and behold my dad died on the 3rd of September, 2022 and was buried the same day due to the nature of the death. Prior to his death, he was very hail and healthy without any sign of death in the next twenty years on him. This has pour very cold water in my mind and neighbours around since then.


Though this case still stand but fellow nairalanders in the house, please what can I do outside the court of law? How can I exit them or get them quitted from the property as the new estate agent seems not to be solid in mind any more probably due to the demise of my father. Note that they are still owing vigilante and electricity fees. Vigilante money is going to the community. I don't even want them to pay any rent again but service charges are very necessary. I happen to be the only guy around as others are in their various stations outside the shore of the country.


Please I need your advice both legal practitioners and estate managers & valuers in the house. Your positive advice will be taken in high measure and will also go a long way to uphold a legacy.

Thank you all.


Ps: This guy after paying the seventy thousand naira to the agent told father that he should be given six months quit notice as against the three months and seven days initially given. And he was confidently saying it and now by play by play he's already using six months altogether. The location is Ibadan.

Lawyer (s) in the house I need your counsel here. Lalasticlala