chimere66:
Stomach Infrastructure: Fayose fulfills N10m promise to Beer Sellers

Ekiti State Governor, Mr. Ayodele Fayose on Thursday made good his promise to make N10m available for Beer, Foods and Drinks Sellers Association of Nigeria, Ekiti State Chapter.

Fayose had on 31st January, 2017 during the Association's Exco Inauguration in Ado-Ekiti promised to improve members' business with #10m revolving loan that will benefit members across the 16LGAs.

While presenting cheques to the over 500 beneficiaries who came from across the 16 Local Government Areas at the Government House in Ado on Thursday, Governor Fayose said the gesture was in fulfilment of his promise to them during their inauguration.
The governor explained that the initiative was also in line with the  stomach infrastructure programme aimed at supporting their business. Mr Fayose urged  beneficiaries to refund the loan as and when due so others can benefit.  He urged those without voters card to take advantage of the registration which will commence on 27th of April, 2017  by INEC.

In an interview with  some of the beneficiaries, Mrs Ajanaku Oluwatoyin and Adebowale Adeyemi who described governor Fayose as a promise keeper thanked him for the gesture.


Source: http://www.trezzyhelm.com/2017/04/stomach-infrastructure-fayose-fulfills.html?m=1

ShopriteNG is Recruiting 2017. by olatopicalblog(m): 2:29am
ShopriteNG is recruiting at the moment

How to Apply

Get your Curriculum Vitae ready and Send to their email below:

send to shopritejobs@yahoo.com


and wait for a response as seen in the below


Dear Applicant

Thank you for your interest in our company. Our recruitment team will review your application and contact you if found suitable for possible employment opportunities.
From : Shoprite Nigeria Recruitment Team

You will get another response from them for an Interview, if they get any available position as stated in your Curriculum Vitae's working experience.
Do check your inbox for response.
For more inquires, contact +234(0)9075750218 +234(0)9023363656.

the only blog for best latest news, gossips, entertainment and more is only on www.olanaijanews..com
remain bless

See am just frustrated, i have looked for work, summited my cv everywhere including your place of work. Still yet, i didn't obtain a job. Now, i discover i can earn money from writing blog. I created this blog 247humor..com, it is all about humor, comedy, hilarious items and many more. Plz this is my only hope if not hungry will bury me. Plz i dont want to die plz visit my blog plz www.247humor..com

Thank you so much.... iam Olamide Akanbi

Hmmm.... girls will never kill me with their tricky ways...

I could remeber the big time Bleep up a girl fix me in, at the previous Valentine as of february14  this year. Chai..! there is God.

all the blood you girls are sharing!... there is God o! (Nothing de happen, patient jonathan, you cannot catch me)

Ok nah... moving forward. A day before valentine, i got a call from my babe. The conversation was based on the valentine day, asking me to take her out to have fun....

oboi..! me wey no get bar... how i go take run this package now... and this babe nah my new signing... dis babe set die...eyan mercy johnson...

i need to impress the babe nah... make fuckup no com de o. And no one to borrow me money.

So i decide to hustle for the money... chai...! i mumu die... i went straight to a site where i can hustle for daily payment like carrying of blocks, fetching of water, mixing of cement and so on... because of babe o....

Omo see hustle... i hustle like wizkid Ojuelegba... i carried kponkon of cement on my head (only yoruba guyz will know kponkpon means pan).

Mix cement, transfer blocks and at the end of the day, i was paid 1500naira... upon all my wahala, wait sef... this babe nyash nah Gold? wey be say i won kill my sef untop her matter...but shaa... i need am.

I went straight to mama labake's canteen with my dirty cement body, bought ewa 50naira and bread 50naira with 10naira sachet water...(abeg wetin be sachet water, pure water, ibile lawon eleyi).

See how people were starring at me... for their mind, they go de say, how this pig take escape from zoo.

While eating mama labake's ewa ati buredi (yoruba niggaz know i mean beans and bread), my phone rang and it was the babe.

She said i should send her airtime that she want to call her Uncle... uncle keh! Abi ori're' buru (abi she wants to be unfortunate) how much remain for my hand. Shaa...

i need to send it not to fall my hands... i bought etisalat 200naira and sent to her... i for buy 100naira own abi, but e too de poor nah... make the babe no con de reason me local.

After all the expenses, money at hand was 1090naira... omo..! Wetin this money go buy 2moro now... God dey....

i went straight home, took my bath and lye down on my mat...(make wuna no reason am o... i don buy bed now, new one no be tokunbo. Concord for dat matta).

Something surprised me throughout that night, this girl didn't call to thank me for the airtime... wait o.. abi she de mad.

So i picked my phone and call her... she picked and rushly said "plz call me back, i am with my uncle" in low tone that sound like moan... mogbe..! abi there is a mechanic working on her engine?... so nah my airtime this babe take call this bastard... chai..!  God dey... (sad)

I couldn't sleep that night, i was just wondering how that bastard will be running her package... how he is taking my position illegally. chai..! that place go don de hot like bakery... chai..! my hard earn girlfriend... God dey...(cry)

Finally i slept off on my mat with my hands inside my boxers rubbing my kporon (this is the last time i will tell you kporon means anaconda)...

dreaming on how i was with the babe in a tight lungu and kolobiing her.... omo see smooching for dream... i even cum for my boxers... if nah you nko, you no go cum... i need to cum because this babe too hot... i know your kporon have started rising, the guyz....

oya start singing frank edward song mama eh! in your mind and it will settle down... trust me, that is the trick to make it settle down....

It was morning already and i woked up very late... removed my hands from my boxers and found dry akamu on my body...

so i really had sex in my nightmare with this babe... babe wey i never kiss before, wey i never shake hands with, even hug sef.... but she sweet for dream shaa...definitely she go sweet for real life... **winks**

So i stood up, went straight into my bathroom, took my toothbrush and paste and did the right thing....i know say some of wuna no de brush in the morning...especially you wey de read this post now... no mind me, nah joke o, i just de hustle to pay school fees...

I washed up the dry akamu, put on my shirt and headed for Auwalu's house... my only baddest guy ever liveth... the only guy wey dey give me the lstest code to unlock some kind babes.

When i got to auwalu's house, i entered into his room and was welcomed by a brutal smell...

he was pooing in his toilet...  huuuh! Kai!... nah auwalu shit de smell reach like this.. only God knows what this nigga ate the previous night...

I waited outside before the smell will make me suffocate.... it is better to die by boko haram than to die by auwalu's atomic bomb...

After waiting for about 20minutes... auwalu still didn't come out of the toilet o... abi auwalu de born inside toilet? i asked myself as i continue waiting anxiously...

Finally auwalu is out of the toilet, sweating as if there was a girl with him in the toilet... wuna go say ola i don spoil abi...

Howfar nah guy! u de born inside toilet.... i don de wait here since for about 40minutes... (even if i didn't wait up to that time...i need to exaggerate). I asked.

Baba i just de purge since yesterday o... i no even fit sleep, i don run toilet like 10times... he replied.

Before i say anything, he hurriedly ran into the toilet to drop another album...
eeyaa... truely, this guy is purging brutally... make this guy no com die today wey be valentine... chai..! Him babe go cry tire today, who go carry her comot go flex...

I have to leave before him will transfer the diarrhea to me... i no won use my small money wey i won use flex my babe buy drugs...

To cut the long story short, i later met him during the day, borrowed some baffups (oya lie say u never borrow baffup before) from him and 1k, in order to add to the my money so as so flex the babe well to her satisfaction.... for my mind shaa... imagine, i won use 2k flex babe...

At exactly 3pm, i move straight to a cheap and affordable Mr biggs nearby... ordered one bottle of Coke... so as to save some money for the babe to flex with....

I called her on phone to meet me there... omo see fine boy... if you see me, you go think say i be wizkid... auwalu baffup fit me die... i know some of you will say "borrow borrow make poor man rich"... dah wan dey...

I continue sipping my bottle of Coke gently so that it can last till she comes... dah kind tin nah...

Finally she walked in.... Jisas!!!! Mogbe!!! Gbese re o!!!.... (my hands on my head)

Ask me what happened..... chai...! this babe wicked o.....

Do you know what really happened?..... bibankeeeeh! bomi bansho... fimisile! (soundtrack by asa)

This girl is so heartless, she will never make heaven... chai...! if i start to talk (tiwasavage)

moku! mogbe! modaran!... Could you believe that this babe came with four of her friends... Fat fat once... awon alajewuru (gluttons)...click this link to continue reading this story plz... abeg no vex www.247humor..co.ke/2016/10/valentine-day-Bleep-up.html?m=1

Hmmm.... girls will never kill me with their tricky ways...

I could remeber the big time Bleep up a girl fix me in, at the previous Valentine as of february14  this year. Chai..! there is God.

all the blood you girls are sharing!... there is God o! (Nothing de happen, patient jonathan, you cannot catch me)

Ok nah... moving forward. A day before valentine, i got a call from my babe. The conversation was based on the valentine day, asking me to take her out to have fun....

oboi..! me wey no get bar... how i go take run this package now... and this babe nah my new signing... dis babe set die...eyan mercy johnson...

i need to impress the babe nah... make fuckup no com de o. And no one to borrow me money.

So i decide to hustle for the money... chai...! i mumu die... i went straight to a site where i can hustle for daily payment like carrying of blocks, fetching of water, mixing of cement and so on... because of babe o....

Omo see hustle... i hustle like wizkid Ojuelegba... i carried kponkon of cement on my head (only yoruba guyz will know kponkpon means pan).

Mix cement, transfer blocks and at the end of the day, i was paid 1500naira... upon all my wahala, wait sef... this babe nyash nah Gold? wey be say i won kill my sef untop her matter...but shaa... i need am.

I went straight to mama labake's canteen with my dirty cement body, bought ewa 50naira and bread 50naira with 10naira sachet water...(abeg wetin be sachet water, pure water, ibile lawon eleyi).

See how people were starring at me... for their mind, they go de say, how this pig take escape from zoo.

While eating mama labake's ewa ati buredi (yoruba niggaz know i mean beans and bread), my phone rang and it was the babe.

She said i should send her airtime that she want to call her Uncle... uncle keh! Abi ori're' buru (abi she wants to be unfortunate) how much remain for my hand. Shaa...

i need to send it not to fall my hands... i bought etisalat 200naira and sent to her... i for buy 100naira own abi, but e too de poor nah... make the babe no con de reason me local.

After all the expenses, money at hand was 1090naira... omo..! Wetin this money go buy 2moro now... God dey....

i went straight home, took my bath and lye down on my mat...(make wuna no reason am o... i don buy bed now, new one no be tokunbo. Concord for dat matta).

Something surprised me throughout that night, this girl didn't call to thank me for the airtime... wait o.. abi she de mad.

So i picked my phone and call her... she picked and rushly said "plz call me back, i am with my uncle" in low tone that sound like moan... mogbe..! abi there is a mechanic working on her engine?... so nah my airtime this babe take call this bastard... chai..!  God dey... (sad)

I couldn't sleep that night, i was just wondering how that bastard will be running her package... how he is taking my position illegally. chai..! that place go don de hot like bakery... chai..! my hard earn girlfriend... God dey...(cry)

Finally i slept off on my mat with my hands inside my boxers rubbing my kporon (this is the last time i will tell you kporon means anaconda)...

dreaming on how i was with the babe in a tight lungu and kolobiing her.... omo see smooching for dream... i even cum for my boxers... if nah you nko, you no go cum... i need to cum because this babe too hot... i know your kporon have started rising, the guyz....

oya start singing frank edward song mama eh! in your mind and it will settle down... trust me, that is the trick to make it settle down....

It was morning already and i woked up very late... removed my hands from my boxers and found dry akamu on my body...

so i really had sex in my nightmare with this babe... babe wey i never kiss before, wey i never shake hands with, even hug sef.... but she sweet for dream shaa...definitely she go sweet for real life... **winks**

So i stood up, went straight into my bathroom, took my toothbrush and paste and did the right thing....i know say some of wuna no de brush in the morning...especially you wey de read this post now... no mind me, nah joke o, i just de hustle to pay school fees...

I washed up the dry akamu, put on my shirt and headed for Auwalu's house... my only baddest guy ever liveth... the only guy wey dey give me the lstest code to unlock some kind babes.

When i got to auwalu's house, i entered into his room and was welcomed by a brutal smell...

he was pooing in his toilet...  huuuh! Kai!... nah auwalu shit de smell reach like this.. only God knows what this nigga ate the previous night...

I waited outside before the smell will make me suffocate.... it is better to die by boko haram than to die by auwalu's atomic bomb...

After waiting for about 20minutes... auwalu still didn't come out of the toilet o... abi auwalu de born inside toilet? i asked myself as i continue waiting anxiously...

Finally auwalu is out of the toilet, sweating as if there was a girl with him in the toilet... wuna go say ola i don spoil abi...

Howfar nah guy! u de born inside toilet.... i don de wait here since for about 40minutes... (even if i didn't wait up to that time...i need to exaggerate). I asked.

Baba i just de purge since yesterday o... i no even fit sleep, i don run toilet like 10times... he replied.

Before i say anything, he hurriedly ran into the toilet to drop another album...
eeyaa... truely, this guy is purging brutally... make this guy no com die today wey be valentine... chai..! Him babe go cry tire today, who go carry her comot go flex...

I have to leave before him will transfer the diarrhea to me... i no won use my small money wey i won use flex my babe buy drugs...

To cut the long story short, i later met him during the day, borrowed some baffups (oya lie say u never borrow baffup before) from him and 1k, in order to add to the my money so as so flex the babe well to her satisfaction.... for my mind shaa... imagine, i won use 2k flex babe...

At exactly 3pm, i move straight to a cheap and affordable Mr biggs nearby... ordered one bottle of Coke... so as to save some money for the babe to flex with....

I called her on phone to meet me there... omo see fine boy... if you see me, you go think say i be wizkid... auwalu baffup fit me die... i know some of you will say "borrow borrow make poor man rich"... dah wan dey...

I continue sipping my bottle of Coke gently so that it can last till she comes... dah kind tin nah...

Finally she walked in.... Jisas!!!! Mogbe!!! Gbese re o!!!.... (my hands on my head)

Ask me what happened..... chai...! this babe wicked o.....

Do you know what really happened?..... bibankeeeeh! bomi bansho... fimisile! (soundtrack by asa)

This girl is so heartless, she will never make heaven... chai...! if i start to talk (tiwasavage)

moku! mogbe! modaran!... Could you believe that this babe came with four of her friends... Fat fat once... awon alajewuru (gluttons)... click this link to continue reading this post... abeg no vex www.247humor..co.ke/2016/10/valentine-day-Bleep-up.html?m=1

Please don’t share this link with your mum
before she nails you with their favourite adage
“show me your friend and i’ll……”
For those of you who grew up in Nigeria with
your mums, I’ll say you’re lucky because you,
only you, will understand this article. For those
who lost their mums at a very early age, I’ll seize
this opportunity to offer my condolence, it is
never an easy thing.
That being said, let us examine this ‘specimen’
very carefully.
WHAT ARE NIGERIAN MUMS?
Answer: Special!
The thing is, Nigerian mums are a very rare
specie of humans. Wonderful people. Special
case study.
They are not all the same but I tell you, they
have common traits, sometimes you think they
plan it because how else is it that when you were
growing up, you go to your friend’s house and
hear his mum shouting about the same exact
things your mum shouts about, in the same exact
way, and when you adjust your eye to watch the
tv as if you never heard anything, his mum turns
to you,
“Don’t you advise your friend? John is a very lazy
boy”
She turns to your friend and says,
“John! Look at your friend, how quiet he is. See
your life!”.
Next week, your friend is in your house and your
mum is screaming,
“Emeka! Look at John! Does he have two heads?
…..”
PLEASE, did they plan it?
THE NIGERIAN MUM’S MOST VALUED TOOL?
Answer: Something long and painful.
Before I continue this exposé, I’d like to point out
that there is a tool employed by these women
that makes their job easier. A companion, often
seen under beds and under the chairs in sitting
rooms of unsuspecting kids. The Whip! Yikes!
Those days, there was no house without this
‘commodity’. In the past, it could be in the form
of a small stick or the stalk of a tree in your
compound plucked during emergency times.
Later, as we grew up, they started making them
in commercial quantity! You go to the shop of
any Mallam or even ‘provision’ stores and you see
it piled in one corner, bound together by one
rubber band (Infact this made me seriously hate
one Mallam Aminu those days- a true friend to
many mothers back then)
The thing is, this whip can land on your back for
any to no reason at all;
“Have you done your assignment? I say, have you
done your assignment?” *whip whip*
“So two times eight is eighteen ehhh……” *whip
whip*
“Joy, so you are now following bad gangs” *whip
whip*
“Abu, who told you to go and pluck those
mangoes?
*hand whip*
This *whip whip* is almost always the aftermath
of any conversation that starts like this,
(Act 1; Scene 1)
MUM: You are here watching tv, have you
finished your food?
CHILD: Mummy, I don’t like eba, I want to drink
tea and bread/cake
MUM: This night? (getting really angry and rising
up)
CHILD: Mummy, I don’t like this food!
(Act 1; Scene 2)
You don’t need to be Shakespeare to know what
happens next!!
Or when your mum sees you and your elder
brother fighting and says “Wait for me!” while she
hurriedly makes her way into her
room……..hmmmmmm.
NIGERIAN MUMS AND PUBLIC PLACES
We all know that Nigerian mums cannot
differentiate between public places and indoors
when it comes to disciplining the kids.
They seldom care if the neighbours hear the loud
strokes of cane metted out on the poor child.
This explains why when you’re in church and
refuse to open your mouth to sing with the choir
or if you attend these ‘fire’ churches; you don’t
stamp your foot, close your eyes and speak out
your prayer points loudly or you find yourself
nodding off while kneeling down in a night vigil.
What do you hear next on your back? A loud rasp
that startles you back to the real world!
Some call it ‘abara’, some call it ‘reality check’
while others call it ‘hard reset’….What ever name
you choose to call it, this tumultuous blow to
your back can spoil your career on the streets or
in school because, eww! Your street girls were
also in church that day! Or Tola, that girl from
your class attends your church too and everyone
will hear about it before you enter class
tomorrow… Oh Lord!
This above stated reas....continue reading at >>>>>>> www.247humor..co.ke/2016/10/the-chronicles-of-nigerian-mums.html?m=1

olatopicalblog:
I dont know why girls are just wicked like the Witch in my village.... this story wey i won talk now funny but nah somtin wey still de pain me till today....

i wonder why as a guy, you will invite  a girl to your house and she will think the invitation is for her to come and watch Telemundo and Zee World, drink Malt, collect transport and go... guyz wuna know wetin i mean nah... dat thing can pain eeh!

This same situation happened to me last week when i invited a babe to my house and she promised to show up .... asin eeh, the kind preparation wey i prepare sef pass wedding preparation. Asin i just de wonder how i go take run the package.... na so i de count days, de anticipate. i de call her steady o...! make e no be say the day go com reach, she go come de tell me say she forget...you know dat kind thing nah guyz.

      GHEN GHEN! GHEN GHEN!
Today is the deal day, it was 7 a.m in the morning. I picked up my phone and called
Vero to know howfar. Because i no won hear story for the gods o.

She picked and i asked her if she is still coming... still keh...! thunder go fire her if she talk say no. she no go fit try am nah...

Oboi! She said she is coming by 9 a.m... omo no joy o.. and i am to report to work by latest, 8:30 a.m. thunder go fire devil, is like person de follow me from village. Why be say nah this kind time she say she go come.

And if i tell her i will be at work by then, she might shutdown the coming... as a sharp guy wey i be... bobo no go die. All work no play make jack a dull boy o.
So i pick my phone dial my boss number, i told him my mum just called me from the neighbouring viĺlage that she is so sick that i need to go there to check on her health... make God forgive me shaa...omo nah that kind lie fit work o cos this boss them eeh..! Dem dey hard to convince.

Omo..! my boss accepted o. I happy die. Nah so i start to de tidy my room o, clean my tv and sets, change bed spread, clean window luvas so that fresh air go come in, arrange my dirty cloth one side, clean mirror incase the babe go won check her self out, that kind thing nah. Wash my toilet make the smell no go fall my hands, Put water for bathroom incase the babe go won shower. Clean clean everywhere, arrange my shoes well, put the ones wey make sence for front com pack the one wey don die put for back. change my Bob to blue Bob... that kind thing nah, put my condom for where my hand get am sharply during emmergency. Com spray room freshner......omo...! guyz no get joy at all.

For about one week, i haven't clean up my house like this  and  i did all these chores in 30mins because of this babe... omo make we no lie, babes de very important. Make we credit dem for that area because nah them de make all guyz for this life won clean the mess inside their house.

Some guyz will say, i don't like dirts that why i keep my room tidy... my brother that one nah big lie, nah because of babe. Guy wey no get babe no de bother to clean house even throughout a year....

It 8am already so i picked my phone, called her and she said she is already on her way by bike. So i gave her a landmark to drop.... omo...! body just de sweet me... nah so i just de imagine the way i go take wound the babe, de reherse some kind styles... this babe go know me today... she go know say guyz no get joy at all especially me...

My phone rang loudly.
I picked the call and it was the babe... she said she is at the landmark i describe to her.... omo see joy for my face.

So i picked up my shirt, brushup my hair sharply, clean my pam and walked straight to the landmark... omo see fine boy... this babe go believe today.

Getting there, i saw her standing with the bike man. She welcomed me with a sweet hug... chai! my head wan blow off...this hug sweet die. even the bike man feel am so te him wan cum.

I asked howmuch is the pay for the bike man and the bike man said it 200naira. Omo this bike man won cut my neck o... because him see me with babe. him normal money nah 70naira o. Chai!
Okada man nawa o... u just won jonze me for this babe front.

I just have to pay shaa... not to spoil my show. Fine boy, see wallet. O.B.O...! baddest!

I removed 1k and give to the bike man to give me change. So he gave me 750naira change. this bike man lasan. E just wan fall my hand.

I collected the change and we moved to my house.. Omo...! see swag...  i con de greet people for road o... dat kind thing nah... make dem notice me say i carry babe nah... da kind thing... i even greet people wey i no even know...

If you see the way i was even walking gaan... all with swag. me and the babe just de speak foneh give ourself.

We got to my house, i opened my door soflty with swag. We both walked in and i welcomed her once again into my house and told her to sit down.... omo...! this babe won com fuckup o... she con de sit down for chair...which kind rough play be that one nah... she no fit sit down for bed?

I have wanted to break this chair since but my junior sis said she needs it thats why i kept it for her. This chair have always been an obstacle in all my packages. This one no go funny o... how will i convince this babe to come to the bed now. Ola no de carry last nah... just wait see my scope.

I opened my fridge and brought out a malt and a glass with a tray, and place it on a stool at her front... instantly, she said don't worry am ok. You know the way girls take de form nah... like say dem no de shit.

She later accepted the drink shaa... so i put on the television, so we both watch movie and chill with discussion... omo..! make i no lie, my mind no de there at all... i no de concentrate for the movie... my mind be say make we... you know...that kind thing...

So we discussed shaaa... we move to the issue of our relationship package... omo see scoping... the babe just de form hard like Jet Li.... but trust me nah... king of scoping... before we go say jack robbinson, the babe don de bed o... even me self no know how manage my scope unlock her. Omo...! i bad gaan...

we got to the bed and my hands started travelling around her world... omo see groove... o lord..! this can't be me... at that moment, i no get problem for this world at all. Even if my mama call me that time, i swear i no go pick. no be joke o. I no go pick at all.

My hands were travelling east, north, west and south around her body... com see smooching... huuuuuh! if i die, make you no cry for me (dagrin). My kporon is head up firmly waiting for the koko. I don't know when i fling my boxers to an unknown corner of my room. Guyz, wuna don turn On abi... abeg no cum for your trouser o.

I stretched my hands beneath my pillow to get my shinguide (condom). Omo no dulling..! No time to check time...! My
kporon  is already suffocating. It is now so anxious for the koko.

As i stretch my hands towards my shinguide, she hold my hands and stoped me from taking it and then the unspeakable......
this is what all guyz will never like to hear.... Jisas!!!!!! O my lawd!!!! Waadaf*ck!!!!! Yeeeeeh!!! (crying).

What came out of her mouth was.....continue reading this at.... www.247humor..co.ke/2016/10/am-seeing-my-period.html?m=1

Plz make sure you drop your comment on the blog

plz do you guyz want more of my stories?

realsammie:
bros i beg cum finsh ur gist for here o. if na to click dat link, walahi i no go click

forget it den...

njuwo:
Three business associates, an Igbo man, a
Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat
lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere.
While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in
through the window. It flew across the table
to where the Igbo man was but he just
waved his hands to chase it away.
The fly then went to where the Yoruba man
was, he also chased it away.
Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese
man was and was flying close to his ears. The
Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime
and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and
swallowed it.
The other men saw this but just kept on
eating.
About Five minutes later, another fly came in
and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased
it away again.
It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time
he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for
sometime and then grabbed it. He then
turned to the Chinese man and asked "how
much you go buy am?"

This Story Will Make Your Gasp Out Lafta... Be patient while reading.

I dont know why girls are just wicked like the Witch in my village.... this story wey i won talk now funny but nah somtin wey still de pain me till today....

i wonder why as a guy, you will invite a girl to your house and she will think the invitation is for her to come and watch Telemundo and Zee World, drink Malt, collect transport and go... guyz wuna know wetin i mean nah... dat thing can pain eeh!

This same situation happened to me last week when i invited a babe to my house and she promised to show up .... asin eeh, the kind preparation wey i prepare sef pass wedding preparation. Asin i just de wonder how i go take run the package.... na so i de count days, de anticipate. i de call her steady o...! make e no be say the day go com reach, she go come de tell me say she forget...you know dat kind thing nah guyz.

GHEN GHEN! GHEN GHEN!
Today is the deal day, it was 7 a.m in the morning. I picked up my phone and called
Vero to know howfar. Because i no won hear story for the gods o.

She picked and i asked her if she is still coming... still keh...! thunder go fire her if she talk say no. she no go fit try am nah...

Oboi! She said she is coming by 9 a.m... omo no joy o.. and i am to report to work by latest, 8:30 a.m. thunder go fire devil, is like person de follow me from village. Why be say nah this kind time she say she go come.

And if i tell her i will be at work by then, she might shutdown the coming... as a sharp guy wey i be... bobo no go die. All work no play make jack a dull boy o.
So i pick my phone dial my boss number, i told him my mum just called me from the neighbouring viĺlage that she is so sick that i need to go there to check on her health... make God forgive me shaa...omo nah that kind lie fit work o cos this boss them eeh..! Dem dey hard to convince.

Omo..! my boss accepted o. I happy die. Nah so i start to de tidy my room o, clean my tv and sets, change bed spread, clean window luvas so that fresh air go come in, arrange my dirty cloth one side, clean mirror incase the babe go won check her self out, that kind thing nah. Wash my toilet make the smell no go fall my hands, Put water for bathroom incase the babe go won shower. Clean clean everywhere, arrange my shoes well, put the ones wey make sence for front com pack the one wey don die put for back. change my Bob to blue Bob... that kind thing nah, put my condom for where my hand get am sharply during emmergency. Com spray room freshner......omo...! guyz no get joy at all.

For about one week, i haven't clean up my house like this and i did all these chores in 30mins because of this babe... omo make we no lie, babes de very important. Make we credit dem for that area because nah them de make all guyz for this life won clean the mess inside their house.

Some guyz will say, i don't like dirts that why i keep my room tidy... my brother that one nah big lie, nah because of babe. Guy wey no get babe no de bother to clean house even throughout a year....

It 8am already so i picked my phone, called her and she said she is already on her way by bike. So i gave her a landmark to drop.... omo...! body just de sweet me... nah so i just de imagine the way i go take wound the babe, de reherse some kind styles... this babe go know me today... she go know say guyz no get joy at all especially me...

My phone rang loudly.
I picked the call and it was the babe... she said she is at the landmark i describe to her.... omo see joy for my face.

So i picked up my shirt, brushup my hair sharply, clean my pam and walked straight to the landmark... omo see fine boy... this babe go believe today.

Getting there, i saw her standing with the bike man. She welcomed me with a sweet hug... chai! my head wan blow off...this hug sweet die. even the bike man feel am so te him wan cum.

I asked howmuch is the pay for the bike man and the bike man said it 200naira. Omo this bike man won cut my neck o... continue reading www.247humor..com

finalbosss1:
senate President Bukola Saraki, on the floor
of the senate this morning read a letter from President Buhari seeking confirmation of appointment of two Supreme Court Justice. The names forwarded for confirmation are Justice Sidi Dauda Bage (North-Central) and Justice Paul Adamu (North-East)

source;- http://www.jeloser.info/2016/10/president-buhari-seeks-senates.html

This Story Will Make Your Gasp Out Lafta... Be patient while reading.

I dont know why girls are just wicked like the Witch in my village.... this story wey i won talk now funny but nah somtin wey still de pain me till today....

i wonder why as a guy, you will invite a girl to your house and she will think the invitation is for her to come and watch Telemundo and Zee World, drink Malt, collect transport and go... guyz wuna know wetin i mean nah... dat thing can pain eeh!

This same situation happened to me last week when i invited a babe to my house and she promised to show up .... asin eeh, the kind preparation wey i prepare sef pass wedding preparation. Asin i just de wonder how i go take run the package.... na so i de count days, de anticipate. i de call her steady o...! make e no be say the day go com reach, she go come de tell me say she forget...you know dat kind thing nah guyz.

GHEN GHEN! GHEN GHEN!
Today is the deal day, it was 7 a.m in the morning. I picked up my phone and called
Vero to know howfar. Because i no won hear story for the gods o.

She picked and i asked her if she is still coming... still keh...! thunder go fire her if she talk say no. she no go fit try am nah...

Oboi! She said she is coming by 9 a.m... omo no joy o.. and i am to report to work by latest, 8:30 a.m. thunder go fire devil, is like person de follow me from village. Why be say nah this kind time she say she go come.

And if i tell her i will be at work by then, she might shutdown the coming... as a sharp guy wey i be... bobo no go die. All work no play make jack a dull boy o.
So i pick my phone dial my boss number, i told him my mum just called me from the neighbouring viĺlage that she is so sick that i need to go there to check on her health... make God forgive me shaa...omo nah that kind lie fit work o cos this boss them eeh..! Dem dey hard to convince.

Omo..! my boss accepted o. I happy die. Nah so i start to de tidy my room o, clean my tv and sets, change bed spread, clean window luvas so that fresh air go come in, arrange my dirty cloth one side, clean mirror incase the babe go won check her self out, that kind thing nah. Wash my toilet make the smell no go fall my hands, Put water for bathroom incase the babe go won shower. Clean clean everywhere, arrange my shoes well, put the ones wey make sence for front com pack the one wey don die put for back. change my Bob to blue Bob... that kind thing nah, put my condom for where my hand get am sharply during emmergency. Com spray room freshner......omo...! guyz no get joy at all.

For about one week, i haven't clean up my house like this and i did all these chores in 30mins because of this babe... omo make we no lie, babes de very important. Make we credit dem for that area because nah them de make all guyz for this life won clean the mess inside their house.

Some guyz will say, i don't like dirts that why i keep my room tidy... my brother that one nah big lie, nah because of babe. Guy wey no get babe no de bother to clean house even throughout a year....

It 8am already so i picked my phone, called her and she said she is already on her way by bike. So i gave her a landmark to drop.... omo...! body just de sweet me... nah so i just de imagine the way i go take wound the babe, de reherse some kind styles... this babe go know me today... she go know say guyz no get joy at all especially me...

My phone rang loudly.
I picked the call and it was the babe... she said she is at the landmark i describe to her.... omo see joy for my face.

So i picked up my shirt, brushup my hair sharply, clean my pam and walked straight to the landmark... omo see fine boy... this babe go believe today.

Getting there, i saw her standing with the bike man. She welcomed me with a sweet hug... chai! my head wan blow off...this hug sweet die. even the bike man feel am so te him wan cum.

I asked howmuch is the pay for the bike man and the bike man said it 200naira. Omo this bike man won cut my neck o...

harlee:
I didn't read it,I don't want to faint

Lol...ok you will not faint

Get the latest Cheat from all network from www.247humor..com

I dont know why girls are just wicked like the Witch in my village.... this story wey i won talk now funny but nah somtin wey still de pain me till today....

i wonder why as a guy, you will invite a girl to your house and she will think the invitation is for her to come and watch Telemundo and Zee World, drink Malt, collect transport and go... guyz wuna know wetin i mean nah... dat thing can pain eeh!

This same situation happened to me last week when i invited a babe to my house and she promised to show up .... asin eeh, the kind preparation wey i prepare sef pass wedding preparation. Asin i just de wonder how i go take run the package.... na so i de count days, de anticipate. i de call her steady o...! make e no be say the day go com reach, she go come de tell me say she forget...you know dat kind thing nah guyz.

GHEN GHEN! GHEN GHEN!
Today is the deal day, it was 7 a.m in the morning. I picked up my phone and called
Vero to know howfar. Because i no won hear story for the gods o.

She picked and i asked her if she is still coming... still keh...! thunder go fire her if she talk say no. she no go fit try am nah...

Oboi! She said she is coming by 9 a.m... omo no joy o.. and i am to report to work by latest, 8:30 a.m. thunder go fire devil, is like person de follow me from village. Why be say nah this kind time she say she go come.

And if i tell her i will be at work by then, she might shutdown the coming... as a sharp guy wey i be... bobo no go die. All work no play make jack a dull boy o.
So i pick my phone dial my boss number, i told him my mum just called me from the neighbouring viĺlage that she is so sick that i need to go there to check on her health... make God forgive me shaa...omo nah that kind lie fit work o cos this boss them eeh..! Dem dey hard to convince.

Omo..! my boss accepted o. I happy die. Nah so i start to de tidy my room o, clean my tv and sets, change bed spread, clean window luvas so that fresh air go come in, arrange my dirty cloth one side, clean mirror incase the babe go won check her self out, that kind thing nah. Wash my toilet make the smell no go fall my hands, Put water for bathroom incase the babe go won shower. Clean clean everywhere, arrange my shoes well, put the ones wey make sence for front com pack the one wey don die put for back. change my Bob to blue Bob... that kind thing nah, put my condom for where my hand get am sharply during emmergency. Com spray room freshner......omo...! guyz no get joy at all.

For about one week, i haven't clean up my house like this and i did all these chores in 30mins because of this babe... omo make we no lie, babes de very important. Make we credit dem for that area because nah them de make all guyz for this life won clean the mess inside their house.

Some guyz will say, i don't like dirts that why i keep my room tidy... my brother that one nah big lie, nah because of babe. Guy wey no get babe no de bother to clean house even throughout a year....

It 8am already so i picked my phone, called her and she said she is already on her way by bike. So i gave her a landmark to drop.... omo...! body just de sweet me... nah so i just de imagine the way i go take wound the babe, de reherse some kind styles... this babe go know me today... she go know say guyz no get joy at all especially me...

My phone rang loudly.
I picked the call and it was the babe... she said she is at the landmark i describe to her.... omo see joy for my face.

So i picked up my shirt, brushup my hair sharply, clean my pam and walked straight to the landmark... omo see fine boy... this babe go believe today.

Getting there, i saw her standing with the bike man. She welcomed me with a sweet hug... chai! my head wan blow off...this hug sweet die. even the bike man feel am so te him wan cum.

I asked howmuch is the pay for the bike man and the bike man said it 200naira. Omo this bike man won cut my neck o... because him see me with babe. him normal money nah 70naira o. Chai! Okada man nawa o... u just won jonze me for this babe front.

I just have to pay shaa... not to spoil my show. Fine boy, see wallet. O.B.O...! baddest!

I removed 1k and give to the bike man to give me change. So he gave me 750naira change. this bike man lasan. E just wan fall my hand.

I collected the change and we moved to my house.. Omo...! see swag... i con de greet people for road o... dat kind thing nah... make dem notice me say i carry babe nah... da kind thing... i even greet people wey i no even know...

If you see the way i was even walking gaan... all with swag. me and the babe just de speak foneh give ourself.

We got to my house, i opened my door soflty with swag. We both walked in and i welcomed her once again into my house and told her to sit down.... omo...! this babe won com fuckup o... she con de sit down for chair...which kind rough play be that one nah... she no fit sit down for bed?

I have wanted to break this chair since but my junior sis said she needs it thats why i kept it for her. This chair have always been an obstacle in all my packages. This one no go funny o... how will i convince this babe to come to the bed now. Ola no de carry last nah... just wait see my scope.

I opened my fridge and brought out a malt and a glass with a tray, and place it on a stool at her front... instantly, she said don't worry am ok. You know the way girls take de form nah... like say dem no de poo.

She later accepted the drink shaa... so i put on the television, so we both watch movie and chill with discussion... omo..! make i no lie, my mind no de there at all... i no de concentrate for the movie... my mind be say make we... you know...that kind thing...

So we discussed shaaa... we move to the issue of our relationship package... omo see scoping... the babe just de form hard like Jet Li.... but trust me nah... king of scoping... before we go say jack robbinson, the babe don de bed o... even me self no know how manage my scope unlock her. Omo...! i bad gaan...

we got to the bed and my hands started travelling around her world... omo see groove... o lord..! this can't be me... at that moment, i no get problem for this world at all. Even if my mama call me that time, i swear i no go pick. no be joke o. I no go pick at all.

My hands were travelling east, north, west and south around her body... com see smooching... huuuuuh! if i die, make you no cry for me (dagrin). My kporon is head up firmly waiting for the koko. I don't know when i fling my boxers to an unknown corner of my room. Guyz, wuna don turn On abi... abeg no cum for your trouser o.

I stretched my hands beneath my pillow to get my shinguide (condom). Omo no dulling..! No time to check time...! My
kporon is already suffocating. It is now so anxious for the koko.

As i stretch my hands towards my shinguide, she hold my hands and stoped me from taking it and then the unspeakable......
this is what all guyz will never like to hear.... Jisas!!!!!! O my lawd!!!! Waadaf*ck!!!!! Yeeeeeh!!! (crying).

What came out of her mouth was.....continue reading this at.... www.247humor..co.ke/2016/10/am-seeing-my-period.html?m=1

Plz make sure you drop your comment on the blog

I dont know why girls are just wicked like the Witch in my village.... this story wey i won talk now funny but nah somtin wey still de pain me till today....

i wonder why as a guy, you will invite  a girl to your house and she will think the invitation is for her to come and watch Telemundo and Zee World, drink Malt, collect transport and go... guyz wuna know wetin i mean nah... dat thing can pain eeh!

This same situation happened to me last week when i invited a babe to my house and she promised to show up .... asin eeh, the kind preparation wey i prepare sef pass wedding preparation. Asin i just de wonder how i go take run the package.... na so i de count days, de anticipate. i de call her steady o...! make e no be say the day go com reach, she go come de tell me say she forget...you know dat kind thing nah guyz.

      GHEN GHEN! GHEN GHEN!
Today is the deal day, it was 7 a.m in the morning. I picked up my phone and called
Vero to know howfar. Because i no won hear story for the gods o.

She picked and i asked her if she is still coming... still keh...! thunder go fire her if she talk say no. she no go fit try am nah...

Oboi! She said she is coming by 9 a.m... omo no joy o.. and i am to report to work by latest, 8:30 a.m. thunder go fire devil, is like person de follow me from village. Why be say nah this kind time she say she go come.

And if i tell her i will be at work by then, she might shutdown the coming... as a sharp guy wey i be... bobo no go die. All work no play make jack a dull boy o.
So i pick my phone dial my boss number, i told him my mum just called me from the neighbouring viĺlage that she is so sick that i need to go there to check on her health... make God forgive me shaa...omo nah that kind lie fit work o cos this boss them eeh..! Dem dey hard to convince.

Omo..! my boss accepted o. I happy die. Nah so i start to de tidy my room o, clean my tv and sets, change bed spread, clean window luvas so that fresh air go come in, arrange my dirty cloth one side, clean mirror incase the babe go won check her self out, that kind thing nah. Wash my toilet make the smell no go fall my hands, Put water for bathroom incase the babe go won shower. Clean clean everywhere, arrange my shoes well, put the ones wey make sence for front com pack the one wey don die put for back. change my Bob to blue Bob... that kind thing nah, put my condom for where my hand get am sharply during emmergency. Com spray room freshner......omo...! guyz no get joy at all.

For about one week, i haven't clean up my house like this  and  i did all these chores in 30mins because of this babe... omo make we no lie, babes de very important. Make we credit dem for that area because nah them de make all guyz for this life won clean the mess inside their house.

Some guyz will say, i don't like dirts that why i keep my room tidy... my brother that one nah big lie, nah because of babe. Guy wey no get babe no de bother to clean house even throughout a year....

It 8am already so i picked my phone, called her and she said she is already on her way by bike. So i gave her a landmark to drop.... omo...! body just de sweet me... nah so i just de imagine the way i go take wound the babe, de reherse some kind styles... this babe go know me today... she go know say guyz no get joy at all especially me...

My phone rang loudly.
I picked the call and it was the babe... she said she is at the landmark i describe to her.... omo see joy for my face.

So i picked up my shirt, brushup my hair sharply, clean my pam and walked straight to the landmark... omo see fine boy... this babe go believe today.

Getting there, i saw her standing with the bike man. She welcomed me with a sweet hug... chai! my head wan blow off...this hug sweet die. even the bike man feel am so te him wan cum.

I asked howmuch is the pay for the bike man and the bike man said it 200naira. Omo this bike man won cut my neck o... because him see me with babe. him normal money nah 70naira o. Chai!
Okada man nawa o... u just won jonze me for this babe front.

I just have to pay shaa... not to spoil my show. Fine boy, see wallet. O.B.O...! baddest!

I removed 1k and give to the bike man to give me change. So he gave me 750naira change. this bike man lasan. E just wan fall my hand.

I collected the change and we moved to my house.. Omo...! see swag...  i con de greet people for road o... dat kind thing nah... make dem notice me say i carry babe nah... da kind thing... i even greet people wey i no even know...

If you see the way i was even walking gaan... all with swag. me and the babe just de speak foneh give ourself.

We got to my house, i opened my door soflty with swag. We both walked in and i welcomed her once again into my house and told her to sit down.... omo...! this babe won com fuckup o... she con de sit down for chair...which kind rough play be that one nah... she no fit sit down for bed?

I have wanted to break this chair since but my junior sis said she needs it thats why i kept it for her. This chair have always been an obstacle in all my packages. This one no go funny o... how will i convince this babe to come to the bed now. Ola no de carry last nah... just wait see my scope.

I opened my fridge and brought out a malt and a glass with a tray, and place it on a stool at her front... instantly, she said don't worry am ok. You know the way girls take de form nah... like say dem no de shit.

She later accepted the drink shaa... so i put on the television, so we both watch movie and chill with discussion... omo..! make i no lie, my mind no de there at all... i no de concentrate for the movie... my mind be say make we... you know...that kind thing...

So we discussed shaaa... we move to the issue of our relationship package... omo see scoping... the babe just de form hard like Jet Li.... but trust me nah... king of scoping... before we go say jack robbinson, the babe don de bed o... even me self no know how manage my scope unlock her. Omo...! i bad gaan...

we got to the bed and my hands started travelling around her world... omo see groove... o lord..! this can't be me... at that moment, i no get problem for this world at all. Even if my mama call me that time, i swear i no go pick. no be joke o. I no go pick at all.

My hands were travelling east, north, west and south around her body... com see smooching... huuuuuh! if i die, make you no cry for me (dagrin). My kporon is head up firmly waiting for the koko. I don't know when i fling my boxers to an unknown corner of my room. Guyz, wuna don turn On abi... abeg no cum for your trouser o.

I stretched my hands beneath my pillow to get my shinguide (condom). Omo no dulling..! No time to check time...! My
kporon  is already suffocating. It is now so anxious for the koko.

As i stretch my hands towards my shinguide, she hold my hands and stoped me from taking it and then the unspeakable......
this is what all guyz will never like to hear.... Jisas!!!!!! O my lawd!!!! Waadaf*ck!!!!! Yeeeeeh!!! (crying).

What came out of her mouth was.....continue reading this at.... www.247humor..co.ke/2016/10/am-seeing-my-period.html?m=1

Plz make sure you drop your comment on the blog

youngest85:
so funny

Abi bros...hw u see am

Comedy Skit Episode1: Big Time Bleep up
(Romanus and Nkechi Standing at the front of Mr Okon's Gate.)

Romanus: Nkechi you have to understand howmuch love i gat for you. See babe, i do have sleepless night cos of you. Plz i will forever make you smile. I will take care of you, money is not the problem......

Nkechi: see romanus, we don't have to talk about this anymore. I have told you several times that i have someone am in love with. Plz just change this topic. Had it been i know that you are here cos of this same issue, i wouldn't have bothered my self coming out.

Romanus: (touching his chains) babe you have to calm down. Forget about that guy, he never loved you. He is just scoping you, see ehn......

Nkechi: (cut in) see, enough of this. Who told you he never loved me. Are you in his mind. See stop stressing yourself because nothing can make me change my mind. My No is No! that is final. And you have to go now because he will not take it likely with you if he sees you with me cos i have told him about your disturbance and he also saw some of your text messages.....

Romanus: babe forget that guy. He can't try nonsence with me. Do you know who i am? See i will protect you from his rants if he is the one causing you not to accept me... you just leave him for me, i will handle...hand... hand...

(Eze, a very huge guy opens the gate and walked to them while romanus stammers with fear as he saw him coming)

Eze: nkechi, is this the guy that.....

Romanus: (rushed in with fright) No o bros! am not the one o. Am just here to inform her that jesus is coming very soon. I can never toast your girlfriend. Who am i to do so. Am i mad.

(Eze folded his hands in surprise and his muscles got romanus more intimidated. Nkechi also looking so surprised.)......continue reading plz http://247humor..com.ng/2016/10/comedy-skit-episode1-big-time-Bleep-up.html?m=0

youngest85:
Lol

Big fool... abeg we need to tie this lunatic

bumi10:
He is a very lucky man this morning and the devil couldn't hold him ransom. An SUV driver narrowly escaped death this morning. This accident happened at Abule-Ado bus stop along the Badagry expressway Lagos this morning. There was no casualty.


@ http://www.exlinklodge.com/2016/10/a-driver-escapes-death-this-morning-as.html

Sharp Sharp Finger Challenge/ Free Airtime Don Land.... oya dont wait at all... just click on the link and be the first to loaf this airtime at www.247humor..nl/2016/10/sharp-sharp-finger-challenge-for-free.html?m=0
Plz testify if you load it.

Sharp Sharp Finger Challenge/ Free Airtime Don Land.... oya dont wait at all... just click on the link and be the first to loaf this airtime at www.247humor..nl/2016/10/sharp-sharp-finger-challenge-for-free.html?m=0
Plz testify if you load it.