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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table (79606 Views)
My 85-Year-Old Dad Is Cheating On My Mom / Don’t Kill Your Husband. This Is How To Deal With Him If He Is Cheating On You / My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Biglittlelois(f): 8:37pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: 1) I am not missing anything or using emotions kobo, no where does it say traditional marriage is an automatic polygamy or adultery, you are using assumptions as points for your arguments 2) Don't take me and others back to our medieval times or my great grand mother or ancestors cos believe it or not, everyone of them were not polygamous, my great grand father was not polygamous, his wife died and he never married again, he took care of his kids alone, he is my example, and I'm sure there are cases like his' too, why wasn't he polygamous since you and Op assumes so? 3) Come back to earth, as in our time, this generation, marrying under traditional laws is not an automatic anything, no one is agreeing to any automatic deal of anything. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Saintmary(f): 8:38pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: You're funny. Majority of divorce cases, both statutory or customary in Southwest Nigeria end with the woman maintaining the custody of the kids, especially when they're still minors. How many single dads do you see around as compared to single moms? I'm still laughing at your ignorance. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 8:40pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Biglittlelois:3. There is no "this generation marrying under traditional laws" because those laws were defined by those refer to as being of medieval times. Since the laws have not changed since their time, what applied then(in medieval times) still applies to those of you of this generation. ![]() 9 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 8:43pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Saintmary:First of all pay attention to what you have there in bold. ![]() Second, let's not switch topics here yet. We are on traditional marriage and it's implications.. ![]() 7 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Saintmary(f): 8:44pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: You got my point mixed up. I'm not arguing for polygamy, I'm here for Maternal custody in case of divorce under either customary or statutory practices. Peace out. 5 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Biglittlelois(f): 8:44pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: 1) You just arrived at my point, yes it allows for it, doesn't mean it is automatically expected and a must, hence my first comment to Op, she had no proof 2) Of course I know that 3) Does the traditional background really matter? It can be an arrangement agreed upon by the parties involved or village heads or elders on what is best for the kids. 5 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 8:46pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Saintmary:Ok. ![]() In many Nigerian patriarchal cultures, women bear and raise children but the children ‘belong’ to the man. This is hinged on the overarching principle of customary law that denies a mother’s lineage and strongly upholds patrilineage. If the couple divorce, the mother leaves the children for the ‘owner’ – the father. These religious and cultural traditions influence the awarding of child custody in sharia and customary courts. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Biglittlelois(f): 8:48pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: Kobo, you are arguing, the fact that the laws have not changed doesnt mean it is an automatic law that has to be followed in all traditional marriages. 4 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 8:52pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Biglittlelois:You are not processing this at all but blindly arguing instead. ![]() A marriage law created in 1920 makes allowance for a man to engage in adulterous relations and even adopt polygamy. When the same law, unchanged, is invoked in 2021, what makes you believe that the allowances that previously existed are no more? ![]() 18 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 8:53pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Saintmary:Here's another one from the same write up. ![]() The dominant ethnic group in Ekiti State is Yoruba. All the couples in our study were of Yoruba origin and all the women were economically active. In traditional Yoruba law, the children ‘belong’ to their father. Although motherhood is revered and said to empower a woman in the Yoruba culture, a woman’s right to custody of a child is limited to as long as she is in a union. 3 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Saintmary(f): 8:54pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: Of course, when you talk about traditional marriage, you'll end up talking about divorce too. Divorce happens as a result of marriage, hence it's an implication. Off topic: I've observed that lots of you males love to rub your privileges on the face of women, but I've also observed that most of you end up making avoidable errors with your lives. Instead of you to keep your heads down and be better than your forbears, in order to lift your unborn children and their lineage from the rut they have might be thrown into because of your carelessness, you will be busy beating your chests feeling happy that you are born males. A gender that comes with so much responsibility that requires wisdom. Anyway, it can't affect me sha, I'm handling my own life. Good luck. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 8:57pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Biglittlelois:1. Automatically expected? ![]() 3. It does matter since I am interested in knowing where in patriarchal Nigeria fathers are denied full access to their own kids by traditional law. It beggars belief. ![]() 6 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Saintmary(f): 9:00pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: Ekìtì dominant in Yorubaland? Wetin we no go see from all these children. Ekìtì dominant? Mogbó tun tun. Very soon you people will start to call Olúwòó of Ìwóland A-class king because of his exuberance. Your choice of words is just bad. You could have said popular or well-known. Come here let me school you if you don't have enough knowledge. 5 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 9:02pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Saintmary:Isn't it foolishness on your part to continue believing that somehow men come with so much more responsibility and wisdom than women? ![]() When you were in school- my guess is you are sufficiently educated- did you not write the same exams with those of the other gender? Where you not fairly graded alongside them? So why do you hand off more responsibilities to men, expecting greater wisdom from them? ![]() 11 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Biglittlelois(f): 9:03pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: Proof? Link of where it is stated for all tribes in Nigeria? 3 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by FireRain: 9:04pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
@Biglittlelois. Nice one � And let's not attack Op, this is actually a good topic for intelligent discuss. ![]() Abeg make una no abuse, we are all here to learn� 3 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 9:04pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Biglittlelois:Huh? Where is what stated? ![]() What I did there was create a scenario there for to help you understand how unreasonable your conclusion regarding the traditional marriage laws are. A marriage law created in 1920 makes allowance for a man to engage in adulterous relations and even adopt polygamy. When the same law, unchanged, is invoked in 2021, what makes you believe that the allowances that previously existed are no more? ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Saintmary(f): 9:06pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: I was talking in the context of family. In a family, a lot of responsibility lies with the man, which requires wisdom to execute. Of course I don't expect you to understand my point due to your immaturity, I'm sure matured and married people who will eventually come across my post will understand. Please don't reply me, good night. 5 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by habsydiamond(m): 9:08pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Kobojunkie:I don't agree to that |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 9:09pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Saintmary:Even in the context of family, women shouldn't be reliant on men at all. Over and over you have seen how irresponsible the men folk can be so whose to blame for a woman, in the year, 2021, making the same stupid assumption that women made of men back many decades ago? ![]() Why aren't women making more mature choices and decisions where men continue to fail? Why? No be be the same size brain men get wey women get? ![]() 10 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 9:12pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
habsydiamond:Ok. So were the laws redefined? If yes, by whom? When? ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by maureensylvia(f): 9:13pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Biglittlelois(f): 9:19pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: And I'm asking you to show me where it is stated in the marriage law of 1920, give me a screenshot of the created law to back your point, show me where it is explicitly stated for all tribes, surely you don't expect me to take your points as fact. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 9:21pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Biglittlelois:That was a scenario I made up for the purpose of helping you understand this situation here. ![]() 6 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by chloride6: 9:23pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Best in archaic thinking.. 1 Like |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Sterope(f): 9:27pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Lmao. You are so wrong. Legal marriage won't make a tiny difference in your relationship. He will marry more wives, the children he recognises outside wedlock will have a right on his properties and it won't stop him from cheating. You can sue for bigamy but good luck with that ![]() Who wants the headache that comes from going to court? maureensylvia: 3 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by sanpipita(m): 9:27pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
maureensylvia: If there's no exchange of fidelity vows how then is fidelity only meant for the woman, your point is very illogical 2 Likes |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Biglittlelois(f): 9:28pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: Are you for real right now? You made up a marriage law of 1920 to prove your automatic adultery and polygamy assumptions? Lol and I actually took you serious. Kobo, I don't do assumptions, I do facts, and I don't like arguing baselessly, seems like you love the continuous back and forth and going around in circles, I'm done here, Pls don't quote me so I won't have to quote you. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by matm: 9:29pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
Once dowry is paid and accepted,marriage has taken place. 1 Like |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by ShaqFu: 9:30pm On Oct 18, 2021 |
maureensylvia:You don't know me that's why you assume... anyway thank goodness I'm not you. ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
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