Michelle55:

Kindly have one kid if you so desire but never impose such a decision on someone else, it should be a mutual and collective idea to have just a kid when it comes to building a family thereby giving room for readjustment when the need calls for it.

This is a red flag already and I guess the dude isn't cool with it either. Who builds a relationship on conditions such as this?

SHOPPERS:


First, you said he was reluctant to accept that you only want one kid. I understand it's your choice but as a man, an African man, he's probably thinking up so many eventualities.

Let's say you give birth to a baby and down the years, he discovers that the baby is not his own after forfeiting all chances of ever getting someone else pregnant, what should he do?

Let's assume something bad happens along the line and God forbid the child exits this world, what should he do?

The thing is, family planning many times can be reversed. There are many options that are reversible in case you guys change your mind later on.

I will rather opt for one of those than put all my eggs, (just this two sef) in the mouth of the lion.

And I don't think you're a good fit for the guy though. You sound more like the Nigerian version of comfortable feminists who are doing well financially and therefore feel they should have their way in every Convo with a man.

In this case, you are the one suggesting just one kid and all, why can't you take the bull by the horns and seal up? But nope, you want him to accept your decision to have one kid and still bear the responsibility of ensuring it.

No, he does not have ulterior motives, you're just not the right one for him.

Why not adopt just one kid and rest sef.

Michelle55:

When you are through giving me instances of how their relationship should be, you might as well patch things up between them.
1. Calling someone darling doesn't mean a thing (you can ask those who use such endearment often) like I said, a reasonable and right-thinking man knows what's good for his family and doesn't need much convincing to agree.

The moment he grudgingly agreed, she could have asked him what he truly wants and then both of them can reach a compromise and not she insisting on that one-child policy of hers. If it's that important for her to give birth to one then she should get the family planning done on her.
Kapish!

cayorday89:
Many men will not accept it, reasons I don't know, for me I have never thought of it, probably when I get to that bridge how to cross will be decided.

I guess most are thinking of the unthinkable and unforseen circumstances that might happen in the future. Last episode of THE THERAPY by Falz and Toke was on this vasectomy.

Nouribedsheet:
He doesn't have ulterior motives.
You both are not compatible since he want more than one kid and you want one, I think the best thing to do is end the relationship.

cayorday89:
Many men will not accept it, reasons I don't know, for me I have never thought of it, probably when I get to that bridge how to cross will be decided.

I guess most are thinking of the unthinkable and unforseen circumstances that might happen in the future. Last episode of THE THERAPY by Falz and Toke was on this vasectomy.

Kobojunkie:
And?

Mercychen:


Thats why Ive stopped picking his calls. Let him look for someone that will give him battalion.



What was it they talked about. Just brief me. I would have gone to YouTube to watch it but right now I'm too tired to watch anything or reason straight.

I'm really stressed.

Nouribedsheet:
He doesn't have ulterior motives.
You both are not compatible since he want more than one kid and you want one, I think the best thing to do is end the relationship.

cayorday89:



Have you seen the previous episodes? , they don't always come to a conclusion on any issue raised, it's more or less creating awareness on issues in marriages, and ones to be addressed when going into it, with the wife and the husband taking sides that favors them and the final decisions left to the viewers to take as it is deemed fit for them in their relationship. But I think that vasectomy is a dicey situation considering the fact that anything can happen especially when it comes to having just one child. I will make my findings because of this if it can be reversed and if yes if it comes with no side effects reversing it.

cayorday89:
But I think that vasectomy is a dicey situation considering the fact that anything can happen especially when it comes to having just one child. I will make my findings because of this if it can be reversed and if yes if it comes with no side effects reversing it.

Kobojunkie:
I don't know the show.

So, what about couples who chose to have no kids at all?

Mercychen:


Ok dear.

Nope, I haven't seen previous episodes.

Thank you so much.

cayorday89:

You most welcome, and I think you should not just call it up, you still need to have a one on one talk with him, this time let him know it involves serious discussions on several issues you both will like to be addressed for the good of the relationship both in the long and short term. This time you both will be prepared to bare your mind while you give him time to think each situations through before he answers you considering the fact he might not be bothered on some aspects as much as you do and trust me you both will make a headway and come to a conclusion. Also note that either of you will have TO COMPROMISE in some aspects too.

On a lighter mode, If God wan catch you, you come born TWINS nko? Think about it... CHEERS

AdaSunshine:
Your terms and conditions are just simply too much, a huge turn off.

-Don't you think that is too much of a sacrifice to ask of someone you're not married to?

-Do you think you're worth that sacrifice?
Why would you ask someone to give up their fertility?
-How far have you gone with him to dare to ask that of him?
-Do you know the magnitude of the sacrifice you're asking for?
- Isn't that selfish of you?

-Will you be ready to take the blame later in future?
If I were the guy, I'd take that as a red flag.
I'd be the one to opt out.

Mercychen:


Lol @ "you come born twins nko?"

Let his will be done.

Thank you so much.

cayorday89:

Both have the mindset of not having a child from the onset, so even if they mistakenly have a child and death takes it away from them, they will not be pained that much but I can't verify that claim 100%.

Kobojunkie:
Ofcourse they will! No one who loves a child is not pained when said child is gone. But having plans to ensure you can replace a child in the case of death.... does it not sound to you as bad as it does to me?

zed7:
Do you know the meaning of a vasectomy? If you run off with another man or God forbid you die, what happens?
It's either you do family planning or you guys use condoms. Stop talking nonsense about vasectomy to a young man.

I've been stumbling on this lady's posts occasionally and it's easy to observe that she not so 'alright'.

please be nice, it's a new month. Let love lead!

Mercychen:


Exactly!
God bless you.


You know with the female family planning comes a lot of risk and issues of mismatch or even failure which leads to unwanted pregnancies. While the male type is safer and with less risks.

zed7:
Do you know the meaning of a vasectomy? If you run off with another man or God forbid you die, what happens?
It's either you do family planning or you guys use condoms. Stop talking nonsense about vasectomy to a young man.

I've been stumbling on this lady's posts occasionally and it's easy to observe that she not so 'alright'.

She's actually more 'alright' than a lot of them on this forum.

crackhaus:

You want to lose a good man because you've been listening to our resident pseudo-feminists and SJWs on Nairaland who keep suggesting that men should go for vasectomies abi...

Lady, you need to stop paying attention to what a lot of your gender people claim on the internet... It's not real life oo.
You will just carry what you learnt here and use it to spoil a good thing that is working out for you.

Ask around on NL, how many of these women who preach about vasectomies have actually made their husbands do it?
They are all still partaking in the 'withdrawal method' and letting their men pour his spérm on their stomach or on their breasts, BUT they will come on NL to advise the rest of you to tell your men to do snip-snip...

Take it easy abeg...

At least now you have seen that most men will NEVER entertain the idea.

If you like, start a new relationship with another dude and then tell him to do a vasectomy, that's how he will still tell you NO and you'll be back to singlehood again.

crackhaus:

You want to lose a good man because you've been listening to our resident pseudo-feminists and SJWs on Nairaland who keep suggesting that men should go for vasectomies abi...

Lady, you need to stop paying attention to what a lot of your gender people claim on the internet... It's not real life oo.
You will just carry what you learnt here and use it to spoil a good thing that is working out for you.

Ask around on NL, how many of these women who preach about vasectomies have actually made their husbands do it?
They are all still partaking in the 'withdrawal method' and letting their men pour his spérm on their stomach or on their breasts, BUT they will come on NL to advise the rest of you to tell your men to do snip-snip...

Take it easy abeg...

At least now you have seen that most men will NEVER entertain the idea.

If you like, start a new relationship with another dude and then tell him to do a vasectomy, that's how he will still tell you NO and you'll be back to singlehood again.

MufasaLion:
Vasectomy needs more awareness. Most men don't understand how it is and most people don't even know it exist. You just gotta talk to him and explain things to him. Most people believes family planning is only done to the females.

Moreover, ego is among the reasons he kicks against vasectomy. An average African man wouldn't want to live his life knowing his semen is useless.

JovialJune:



Which stupid ego? What has ego got to do with breeding like chicken here and there? Men are actually the cause of overpopulation of the world especially Nigeria, if we should ascertain the ratio of women aware of family planning, it is very high, men prefer to breed here and there like daft ignorant illiterate, clip your diick mbanu, they will push it to their wives,

They never want to take reaponsibilty, women have been responsible to child birth control for decades, there should be an awareness for vasectomy really.