Saintmary:



I understand you're arguing against vasectomy because you're scared of it (come to think of it, only you among several women discussing in this thread)


I don't plan to drag matters with you though.

Men don't joke with their balls.


The emboldened

AmazonTopaz:

Nobody is enforcing anything on you learn to understand and stop being paranoid same you automatically assumed that people have no excuse for unwanted pregnancies same you is reading meanings to vasectomies what powers do I have to enforce such(even if I had such powers I would not because I am democrat and not an autocrat) but rather sensitise and raise awareness on it.

I'm only being realistic. You will only be wasting your time preaching vasectomy to single guys. If vasectomy won't prevent STIs, the average guy won't accept your message.

For the married ones, well a few might agree but your motives have to be very clear. Also, you have to consider the fact that Nigerians don't trust the healthcare sector. I personally won't allow anyone touch my balls in the name of vasectomy.

Saintmary:




Oh, I see.

But please let me know all the same, I just might be a able to make it.

May 27th is children's day too.


Kudos

Thank you! That is why I am considering May 26. It is not in Lagos o, I must add that. Lagos and urban areas gets all the support and goodies, the NGO I work with isn’t Lagos based.
I’ll let you know still.

cococandy:


Vasectomy is virtually risk free. It’s not an unnecessary procedure if the man getting it is in a committed relationship with a woman who’s committed to him. Condoms will be unnecessary in that case and the woman can get off hormonal birth control with its side effects.

Well, I trust that you understand the procedure but you also have to understand that Nigerians have got trust issues.

I felt like that earlier comment about nurses was unwarranted. Moving on though…

That being said, your last paragraph in this post just highlights our whole point in this thread. That married women are given more access because they are married. You say no sane government would prioritize single women and I say it’s insane to even discriminate in the first place. The issue isn’t that there isn’t enough resources to go round, the issue is that we live in a patriarchal dystopia where a woman’s worth and respect depends on whether she has a man or not. So a married woman can get an abortion because she got pregnant “the right way” but we demonize a single woman for the same thing.
Hmm!

The motive of family planning is to control the population of the country. I don't think it's a case of measuring a woman's worth. We have primary health centres everywhere in the country for expectant and nursing mothers. I don't think people care much whether a nursing mother is married or not before getting the attention of health workers. This thing is called family planning for a reason. Those who want access to family planning outside the provisions made available by the government can visit the private health centres or pharmacies. Single guys have been visiting these places for years to buy condom.

cococandy:


Kudos mama

Thanks Coco

Acidosis:


Men don't joke with their balls.


The emboldened

No one is touching your something.

Just to give it some holiday period.


It's reversible Oga, stop panicking.


And you'll still have erections and shoot anyhow, only that the sperm is reserved for the right time. Is that not better?

Acidosis:


Men don't joke with their balls.


The emboldened

No one is touching your something.

Just to give it some holiday period.


It's reversible Oga, stop panicking.


And you'll still have erections and shoot anyhow, only that the sperm is reserved for the right time. Is that not better?

Saintmary:


No one is touching your something.

Just to give it some holiday period.

It's reversible Oga, stop panicking.

And you'll still have erections and shoot anyhow, only that the sperm is reserved for the right time. Is that not better?

It doesn't seem like a bad idea for a married man with 5 kids

Acidosis:


Well, I trust that you understand the procedure but you also have to understand that Nigerians have got trust issues.







The motive of family planning is to control the population of the country. I don't think it's a case of measuring a woman's worth. We have primary health centres everywhere in the country for expectant and nursing mothers. I don't think people care much whether a nursing mother is married or not before getting the attention of health workers. This thing is called family planning for a reason. Those who want access to family planning outside the provisions made available by the government can visit the private health centres or pharmacies. Single guys have been visiting these places for years to buy condom.

It's generally known as contraceptives, the term family planning was coined to please sensitive conservatives such as Nigerians.



They all do the same job.

Acidosis:

Now you have something to advocate for. Cheaper vasectomies.


That means your girlfriends will no longer be able to bill you over illegal abortions.

Good luck.

What's happening here sef? *puts on old grandfather's glasses/lorgnette*

Acidosis:
The only problem here is that many of you won't start this sermon in your households, with your sons and brothers.

Ion know what conversation it is you guys are having nor have the full range for it, or even the context... I'm addressing this your particular line. People use it a lot.

Quote me anywhere. It's WOKE People, I mean it, saying it all loud as it is, it's WOKE people that **usually** put in practice what they come online to preach.

That's the way you people believe we pound fufus for our boyfriends in real life. Like, why do you all assume people around us do not know who we are or what we stand for? Why do you think we shy away from or cut down on some of the things we believe in? There are many a relationships I've forfeited; others I'm willing to let go of because of my equality ideas. If I don't do some things because of my principles/religious beliefs, I can do same or even so much more for my support of women's rights. And this applies to other women of the same leanings, especially on this thread. I know they won't mind me speaking for them here.

I honestly think 'y'all' should cut us some slack. (I'm not saying you in particular). Compromises are necessary sometimes in a relationship, so even if a feminist falls short in some way, it's fine and realistic. When they do and bend, they're hypocrites who don't practice what they preach in their intimate spaces; when they don't and remain strong-headed, oh, they're being hard and unrealistic and will die lonely. No man will put up with such rigid standards... Best believe others are true to their ideals, the same way you are or you feel you are true to yours.

Shey one say, I'll be the kind of woman that'll be submitting my salaries to my husband ehn. Ka sa dupe lowo Olorun na if I (manage to) marry by forty. No wahala.

Magnoliaa:


Ion know what conversation it is you guys are having nor have the full range for it, or even the context... I'm addressing this your particular line. People use it a lot.

Quote me anywhere. It's WOKE People, I mean it, saying it all loud as it is, it's WOKE people that **usually** put in practice what they come online to preach.

That's the way you people believe we pound fufus for our boyfriends in real life. Like, why do you all assume people around us do not know who we are or what we stand for? Why do you think we shy away from or cut down on some of the things we believe in? There are many a relationships I've forfeited; others I'm willing to let go of because of my equality ideas. If I don't do some things because of my principles/religious beliefs, I can do same or even so much more for my support of women's rights. And this applies to other women of the same leanings, especially on this thread. I know they won't mind me speaking for them here.

I honestly think 'y'all' should cut us some slack. (I'm not saying you in particular). Compromises are necessary sometimes in a relationship, so even if a feminist falls short in some way, it's fine and realistic. When they do and bend, they're hypocrites who don't practice what they preach in their intimate spaces; when they don't and remain strong-headed, oh, they're being hard and unrealistic and will die lonely. No man will put up with such rigid standards... Best believe others are true to their ideals, the same way you are or you feel you are true to yours.

Shey one say, I'll be the kind of woman that'll be submitting my salaries to my husband ehn. Ka sa dupe lowo Olorun na if I (manage to) marry by forty. No wahala.

Well, you're welcome to the conversation.


We were talking first about the ridiculous discrimination of nurses refusing to provide contraceptives to single ladies (they say you must bring your husband)


Even abortions are allowed and understandable with married women but different rules apply to single ladies.



Then we went into vasectomies, hysterectomies, female condoms etc.
It's been fun discussing with matured people.

Acidosis:



It doesn't seem like a bad idea for a married man with 5 kids

Of course.




Remember you were the first one to bring it up

Saintmary:


It's generally known as contraceptives, the term family planning was coined to please sensitive conservatives such as Nigerians.



They all do the same job.

Well you're right

Saintmary:



Now you have something to advocate for. Cheaper vasectomies.


That means your girlfriends will no longer be able to bill you over illegal abortions.

Good luck.

Nope, we haven't even agreed to undergo the procedure Calm down. We are never going to be able to convince men to undergo vasectomy. We are done convincing the people to take Pfizer's covid-19 vaccine at no cost.

Saintmary:
Well, you're welcome to the conversation.

We were talking first about the ridiculous discrimination of nurses refusing to provide contraceptives to single ladies (they say you must bring your husband)

Even abortions are allowed and understandable with married women but different rules apply to single ladies.

Then we went into vasectomies, hysterectomies, female condoms etc.
It's been fun discussing with matured people.

Okayyyyy. Thanks for the recap.

Magnoliaa:


Ion know what conversation it is you guys are having nor have the full range for it, or even the context... I'm addressing this your particular line. People use it a lot.

Quote me anywhere. It's WOKE People, I mean it, saying it all loud as it is, it's WOKE people that **usually** put in practice what they come online to preach.

That's the way you people believe we pound fufus for our boyfriends in real life. Like, why do you all assume people around us do not know who we are or what we stand for? Why do you think we shy away from or cut down on some of the things we believe in? There are many a relationships I've forfeited; others I'm willing to let go of because of my equality ideas. If I don't do some things because of my principles/religious beliefs, I can do same or even so much more for my support of women's rights. And this applies to other women of the same leanings, especially on this thread. I know they won't mind me speaking for them here.

I honestly think 'y'all' should cut us some slack. (I'm not saying you in particular). Compromises are necessary sometimes in a relationship, so even if a feminist falls short in some way, it's fine and realistic. When they do and bend, they're hypocrites who don't practice what they preach in their intimate spaces; when they don't and remain strong-headed, oh, they're being hard and unrealistic and will die lonely. No man will put up with such rigid standards... Best believe others are true to their ideals, the same way you are or you feel you are true to yours.

Shey one say, I'll be the kind of woman that'll be submitting my salaries to my husband ehn. Ka sa dupe lowo Olorun na if I (manage to) marry by forty. No wahala.

I agree with you that many people are true to their ideas, the things they post online, after all, I want others to believe that my ideas are genuine and realistic.

However, it would be great to read some of the compromises so we can better understand what you guys stand for. Many times when I post, I cite personal examples so whoever is reading can form an objective opinion. I would really love to read many objective posts that reflect reality and personal experiences.

Acidosis:
I agree with you that many people are true to their ideas, the things they post online, after all, I want others to believe that my ideas are genuine and realistic.

However, it would be great to read some of the compromises so we can better understand what you guys stand for. Many times when I post, I cite personal examples so whoever is reading can form an objective opinion. I would really love to read many objective posts that reflect reality and personal experiences.

Is the word compromise the only you picked there? LOL... I mentioned in passing of relationships I had to let go of. I think Coco and Amazon too, up there mentioned them having the vasectomy conversation with their children.

How many of us do you even know? I have read from so many women sharing their personal experiences in love and marriage and kids and name-changing.

Another point worthy of note is, will you not dismiss it as just online talks when women like that come to share their experiences? Picking holes and all of that?

Magnoliaa:


Is the word compromise the only you picked there? LOL... I mentioned in passing of relationships I had to let go of. I think Coco and Amazon too, up there mentioned them having the vasectomy conversation with their children.

How many of us do you even know? I have read from so many women sharing their personal experiences in love and marriage and kids and name-changing.

Another point worthy of note is, will you not dismiss it as just online talks when women like that come to share their experiences? Picking holes and all of that?

The emboldened is the issue, dear. We only know what you guys stand for from your reactionary response to some ill-mannered guys on Nairaland. I think you guys are wonderful, intelligent, smart, and well-mannered, but to say the truth, the nastiness from these ill-mannered guys on Nairaland often get the best of y'all, at least online [I know we all have the freedom to post whatever..].

About the conversation Coco and Amazon had with their kids, well they didn't tell us the outcome of the conversation. Moreover, I don't think they had that kind of conversation with kids, well, maybe with their partners. The important thing, which we don't know, is the consequence or outcome of that conversation.

Acidosis:

Yes cost is a big deterrent and like saint Mary said, that’s something for us to work on advocating for.
Birth control all around needs to be advocated for and made accessible to everyone.

Before we can get there though, we’ll need a mental reprogramming about who deserves it or not. Trust me that’s one of the reason why it’s so out of reach. We don’t consider it an issue that affects everyone. “It’s only married people’s problem” when in reality, there are about 100 million fertile people in Nigeria so it’s a national problem for everyone, not just married folks.

Acidosis:

hmmm

hmmmm

HMMMMM

na real wa. a hysterectomy is like 600 to 800k. and it is far more invasive and dangerous . this looks like one of those wierd cases where prices are inverted in nigeria

Acidosis:



The emboldened is the issue, dear. We only know what you guys stand for from your reactionary response to some ill-mannered guys on Nairaland. I think you guys are wonderful, intelligent, smart, and well-mannered, but to say the truth, the nastiness from these ill-mannered guys on Nairaland often get the best of y'all, at least online [I know we all have the freedom to post whatever..].

About the conversation Coco and Amazon had with their kids, well they didn't tell us the outcome of the conversation. Moreover, I don't think they had that kind of conversation with kids, well, maybe with their partners. The important thing, which we don't know, is the consequence or outcome of that conversation.

I don’t have vasectomy conversations with my kids. They are little girls . That one no concern them.
There’s only one person in my house who I can have that conversation with.

You wanting to know the outcome of that conversation means I might have to disclose personal health information of another person to you. You check am na. Is that how we do it?

And what if I told you we had the conversation and it yielded result in a vasectomy, would that encourage you to get it? Be honest

cococandy:


Yes cost is a big deterrent and like saint Mary said, that’s something for us to work on advocating for.
Birth control all around needs to be advocated for and made accessible to everyone.

Before we can get there though, we’ll need a mental reprogramming about who deserves it or not. Trust me that’s one of the reason why it’s so out of reach. We don’t consider it an issue that affects everyone. “It’s only married people’s problem” when in reality, there are about 100 million fertile people in Nigeria so it’s a national problem for everyone, not just married folks.

I'm yet to read just one disadvantage of condom or abstinence. There has to be at least one disadvantage of condom for us to call for the widespread adoption of vasectomy.

If a single guy undergoes the procedure, what then happens when he gets married? Reversal? After one or two kids, he would go for another vasectomy, right? All these experiments on one man's fragile and delicate testicular organs. C'mon, you guys should be realistic. Mind you, it might take another 1-2 million to reverse the process.

How can you even say that a 2 million naira surgical procedure in Nigeria is risk-free?

GloriousGbola:


hmmm

hmmmm

HMMMMM

na real wa. a hysterectomy is like 600 to 800k. and it is far more invasive and dangerous . this looks like one of those wierd cases where prices are inverted in nigeria

I'm not surprised sha. Those two tiny balls with tiny tubes are delicate. A single mistake and a man is totally f**ked.

Many times, doctors will even advise patients to live with certain non cancerous growths around their reproductive organs. The risk is not worth it.

Acidosis:

Pay so much to have your sperm sacs cut? That's all shades of fucked_ up

Acidosis:


I'm not surprised sha. Those two tiny balls with tiny tubes are delicate. A single mistake and a man is totally f**ked.

Many times, doctors will even advise patients to live with certain non cancerous growths around their reproductive organs. The risk is not worth it.

This brings back the female jibe about balls really being a symbol of weakness

cococandy:


I don’t have vasectomy conversations with my kids. They are little girls . That one no concern them.
There’s only one person in my house who I can have that conversation with.

You wanting to know the outcome of that conversation means I might have to disclose personal health information of another person to you. You check am na. Is that how we do it?

And what I told you we had the conversation and it yielded result in a vasectomy, would that encourage you to get it? Be honest

Now you can't disclose personal health information?



The emboldened, nope, it wouldn't encourage me to get it.

Ishilove:

Pay so much to have your sperm sacs cut? That's all shades of fucked_ up

Yeah, Ishi would just give a swift kick. She's cheapo like that

Ishilove:

Pay so much to have your sperm sacs cut? That's all shades of fucked_ up

Real f.ucked-up situation right there. Heavens forbid.

Magnoliaa:


Ion know what conversation it is you guys are having nor have the full range for it, or even the context... I'm addressing this your particular line. People use it a lot.

Quote me anywhere. It's WOKE People, I mean it, saying it all loud as it is, it's WOKE people that **usually** put in practice what they come online to preach.

That's the way you people believe we pound fufus for our boyfriends in real life. Like, why do you all assume people around us do not know who we are or what we stand for? Why do you think we shy away from or cut down on some of the things we believe in? There are many a relationships I've forfeited; others I'm willing to let go of because of my equality ideas. If I don't do some things because of my principles/religious beliefs, I can do same or even so much more for my support of women's rights. And this applies to other women of the same leanings, especially on this thread. I know they won't mind me speaking for them here.

I honestly think 'y'all' should cut us some slack. (I'm not saying you in particular). Compromises are necessary sometimes in a relationship, so even if a feminist falls short in some way, it's fine and realistic. When they do and bend, they're hypocrites who don't practice what they preach in their intimate spaces; when they don't and remain strong-headed, oh, they're being hard and unrealistic and will die lonely. No man will put up with such rigid standards... Best believe others are true to their ideals, the same way you are or you feel you are true to yours.

Shey one say, I'll be the kind of woman that'll be submitting my salaries to my husband ehn. Ka sa dupe lowo Olorun na if I (manage to) marry by forty. No wahala.

I have seen my fellow Woke Partner that's how stars do