Acidosis:
Don't finish me with laugh abeg. Anyway, we all are entitled to our opinions.

Nahhh. I have no intention of doing that. Na kweshion I just ask.

Of course, we are. Same way there are some opinions that are more right than others.

cococandy:
I see you tried to summarize what you think you know about me in this brief post and it couldn’t be further from the truth because you don’t in fact know anything about me.

I know I’m not about to convert to Islam or marry a woman or change my physical gender presentation.
So where’s the split personality and loss of identity you speak about? You don’t even know me in person so how would you know what my identity is like?
Ukraine and Muslims? Acidosis don’t make me laugh please. Islam is one of the most oppressive religions on earth. On par with Christians. When I tell Christians to own up to their oppressive ideas, it doesn’t mean I consider Muslims an oppressed group. Two things can be true at the same time. And you don’t even know my opinion on the Ukraine issue. I’ve mostly been silent about it. Don’t make assumptions please

Anyway my identity doesn’t depend on depriving others their right to free existence. I guess that’s the difference between you and I. I don’t need to subscribe to any of that in order to show folks what my identity is.

I’m not confused about who I am or what I like. Therefore, seeing someone living their life the way they want to will not make me uncomfortable. I’m not going to be influenced to change from what I like into what they like. I don’t how speaking for them will change my identity in that aspect.

I don’t know where you get off to thinking that if you don’t agree with oppressing those that are different from you, then you’re not being true to your real identity. Ask yourself why you think that. Who are you trying to SHOW that you are true to whatever beliefs you share.

Because I know people who don’t necessarily support bigotry but won’t say anything against it because they don’t want their community and brethren to see them as different.

The quoted paragraphs just summarize my arguments so far. You see, it's very very difficult to understand what you stand for because your time is invested on issues that do not apply to you or your real life experiences.

It's very easy to know acidosis and what he stands for by merely reading a few of my posts (even though I've outgrown certain views). You have strong opinions about Muslims/Christianity but your religion is somewhat unknown both to the people you fight for and against. You leave readers like me with no option than form an opinion of you

Acidosis:

The quoted paragraphs just summarize my arguments so far. You see, it's very very difficult to understand what you stand for because your time is vested on issues that do not apply to you or your real life experiences.

It's very easy to know acidosis and what he stands for by merely reading a few of my posts (even though I've outgrown certain views). You have strong opinions about Muslims/Christianity but your religion is somewhat unknown. You leave readers like me with no option than form an opinion of you

Because my personal life has no relevance to the REAL PROBLEM of world wide marginalization in its different forms.

If you know what my religion is, will it stop Christians and Muslims from being religious oppressors? You want to know because you think you can use it in some way to discredit me.

You know what I stand for. I’ve said said it a million nah gazillion times. You just refused to listen because it doesn’t align with what you want to hear.
I stand for everyone’s freedom to live the lives they want and practice their beliefs without infringing on the freedom and wellbeing of others. That’s what I stand for. Don’t pretend to forget next time and then tell me you don’t know what I stand for.

Don’t form an opinion of me. let’s focus on the real issues.

Acidosis:
...If women do not tell us what they practice, then we can only assume that the things you fight for are mere illusions. Since women seem to know more about what's best for the male reproductive organ, then women should be able to start the conversation in their close circle and also be willing to give us their experiences and feedback. That's the only way to reveal the motives behind such conversations.

So are they illusions because such conversations don't happen or because they choose not to share the experiences and feedbacks of such conversations?

If I go bring you proofs RIGHT NOW, online, articles and researches, links of couples who've gotten vasectomies, personal experiences of (feminist) women who have husbands who agreed to doing vasectomies, advocates of family planning who've tied their tubes, would you agree then that they are true to what they believe in?

Would you or would you not start contending the validity of such experiences?

Acidosis:
The quoted paragraphs just summarize my arguments so far. You see, it's very very difficult to understand what you stand for because your time is invested on issues that do not apply to you or your real life experiences.

It's very easy to know acidosis and what he stands for by merely reading a few of my posts (even though I've outgrown certain views). You have strong opinions about Muslims/Christianity but your religion is somewhat unknown both to the people you fight for and against. You leave readers like me with no option than form an opinion of you

Form opinions all you want but don't foist it on anyone as their reality!!! Your opinion isn't the (actual) conclusion of anything here! That's the point. Do you get?

If someone hasn't said anything about a thing, why do you think you're in a place then to tell them this is what they are or what they belong to or what they support??

It's difficult to understand that: 'I stand for equality and the freedom of anyone to practice and do what they want, so long as it doesn't cause another harm? That's what I believe in as a human, even though I'm not Caucasian, lesbian and a Buddhist.' (That is what I've understood from her responses to you thus far). Acidd, so many things go on and happen in the world. So because I've not experienced poverty, homelessness, molestation, discrimination, abuse, etc., I cannot speak about them? It makes me fake? Is that what you're saying here? Ayam not understand.

Yes, I know it is ideal to embody what one preaches, IN SOME INSTANCES, but it it fking unrealistic to expect everyone to embody ALL what they preach about in ALL CASES! C'mon! It shouldn't be either/or here.

pocohantas:


Osun state…

Ah e far oh.

Magnoliaa:


Many? First off how many do you know, Acid? And how many do you know that do not share? Especially offline? What makes you so certain some of us are hypocrites?

This is not about them sharing relatable experiences anymore, Acid. Because even when they told you that they preach what you said they don't in their homes, you went silent. Look you aren't entitled to anyone's personal stories yet, but that still doesn't give you the right to go about labeling people 'fake'. Nairaland is an anonymous forum where privacy is the first value here. If you want feminists women sharing their true lives stories and making equality-backed decisions, go to Twitter and Facebook where they share them with their real identities. Go onto YouTube to watch feminist videos. Listen to podcasts.

But after doing ALL these, would be still believe everything you'll read and hear to be TRUE? Would you?

Again Acid, you're conflating points. People sharing or not sharing from their personal experiences does not mean they cannot speak on other issues that do not apply to them directly.

And the fact that they DON'T SAY doesn't mean they DON'T DO. Yes, that was your initial point. What you were saying is that they don't practice what they preach, or they don't preach online sermons in their homes, now you're saying they don't share from their real lives experiences. How many do you know to reach that conclusion?

Is it only on LGBT+ Coco speaks on? How are you certain any other thing she speaks on aren't true for her, when you know nothing about her (or don't even know her offline)?

To make really great arguments, your position about issues have to be known. It's not entitlement mentality, but setting the records straight and making your opinion strong enough to convince both the reader and those who look up to you.

You won't always catch me on a thread where women are being asked to state what they bring to the table. It doesn't apply to both my beliefs and the values I uphold in real life. It's easy to convincingly argue against such questions with facts that are based on my experiences. Does it mean that my values are the best out there? Nope but it shows that I stand for something and I'm not scared to defend what I stand for.

If 80% of your online time is dedicated to the course of feminism, please don't turn around to tell us "I am not a feminist". It's a character flaw, a character misalignment.

cococandy:


Because my personal life has no relevance to the REAL PROBLEM of world wide marginalization in its different forms.

If you know what my religion is, will it stop Christians and Muslims from being religious oppressors? You want to know because you think you can use it in some way to discredit me.

You know what I stand for. I’ve said said it a million nah gazillion times. You just refused to listen because it doesn’t align with what you want to hear.
I stand for everyone’s freedom to live the lives they want and practice their beliefs without infringing on the freedom and wellbeing of others. That’s what I stand for. Don’t pretend to forget next time and then tell me you don’t know what I stand for.

Don’t form an opinion of me. let’s focus on the real issues.

I have to



On what you stand for, no worries, we won't have to go over that again.

Acidosis:

To make really great arguments, your position about issues have to be known. It's not entitlement mentality, but setting the records straight and making your opinion strong enough to convince both the reader and those who look up to you.

You won't always catch me on a thread where women are being asked to state what they bring to the table. It doesn't apply to both my beliefs and the values I uphold in real life. It's easy to convincingly argue against such questions with facts that are based on my experiences. Does it mean that my values are the best out there? Nope but it shows that I stand for something and I'm not scared to defend what I stand for.

If 80% of your online time is dedicated to the course of feminism, please don't turn around to tell us "I am not a feminist". It's a character flaw, a character misalignment.

Someone who promotes feminism is by definition a feminist. It’s not the same as saying someone who defends LGBTQ rights must be gay. Apples and oranges.

Acidosis:
To make really great arguments, your position about issues have to be known. It's not entitlement mentality, but setting the records straight and making your opinion strong enough to convince both the reader and those who look up to you.

You won't catch me on a thread where women are being asked to state what they bring to the table. It doesn't apply to both my beliefs and the values I uphold in real life. It's easy to convincingly argue against such questions with facts that are based on my experiences. Does it mean that my values are the best out there? Nope but it shows that I stand for something and I'm not scared to defend what I stand for.

If 80% of your online time is dedicated to the course of feminism, please don't turn around to tell us "I am not a feminist". It's a character flaw, a character misalignment.

LOLLLLLL. You're still not addressing what I'm asking. All I'm saying.

Tell me the number of feminists you know who are fake first and don't practice what they preach.

I have pointed you to feminists who don't hide their identities.

If you know any in real life, too, come and furnish us with the tale of how MAJORITY of them don't follow the mouth they make online.

This is what this is about... you cannot exactly tell me how a proud, tag-wearing, vocal and unapologetic feminist is being ambiguous. Is it AmazonTopaz that's being ambiguous about what she believes in? Or me?

What are you talking about? Which women here have turned around to claim they aren't feminists? Weren't we talking about women who were feminists and what they practice?

You still haven't said anything to substantiate your belief of them not being true to themselves in real life here, as far as I'm concerned.

When I told you I've had to let relationships go because of my beliefs-- you didn't see that?
When Amazon too admitted to having the vasectomy conversation on her part-- you didn't see that?
Other feminists that DO go into details about their lives-- do you see them?

So, just answer me this, let it be settled: are you claiming they are fakes and have character misalignment because they don't practice what they say in real life, and you know for sure, or simply because you haven't read/heard/know of ones who practice?

pocohantas:


Thank you! That is why I am considering May 26. It is not in Lagos o, I must add that. Lagos and urban areas gets all the support and goodies, the NGO I work with isn’t Lagos based.
I’ll let you know still.

Pocohontas, let me know too.

Acidosis:
I have to

On what you stand for, no worries, we won't have to go over that again.

Okay, then. I might just start forming opinions about you too, and asserting that they are exactly how you are.

No one really knows how you are offline, too, right? You can only say this is what you believe in and that is what you don't believe in... perhaps you wouldn't mind providing us with details too of how you practice all what you preach here, huh?

I know it can be so fun being on the other side and pressing for yeses or nos and the rest.

Magnoliaa:


LOLLLLLL. You're still not addressing what I'm asking. All I'm saying.

Tell me the number of feminists you know who are fake first and don't practice what they preach.

I have pointed you to feminists who don't hide their identities.

If you know any in real life, too, come and furnish us with the tale of how MAJORITY of them don't follow the mouth they make online.

This is what this is about... you cannot exactly tell me how a proud, tag-wearing, vocal and unapologetic feminist is being ambiguous. Is it AmazonTopaz that's being ambiguous about what she believes in? Or me?

What are you talking about? Which women here have turned around to claim they aren't feminists? Weren't we talking about women who were feminists and what they practice?

You still haven't said anything to substantiate your belief of them not being true to themselves in real life here, as far as I'm concerned.

When I told you I've had to let relationships go because of my beliefs-- you didn't see that?
When Amazon too admitted to having the vasectomy conversation on her part-- you didn't see that?

Other feminists that DO go into details about their lives-- do you see them?

So, just answer me this, let it be settled: are you claiming they are fakes and have character misalignment because they don't practice what they say in real life, and you know for sure, or simply because you haven't read/heard/know of ones who practice?

I won't say that I know for sure what they practice in real life since many of them rarely talk about the men in their lives.

I don't know any feminist in real life by the way or let me say I haven't met any woman who claims to be feminist.

If you say that you're having the vasectomy conversation with a man that is not opened to such ideas of equality, then your idea or brand of feminism is definitely questionable. It means that your man, the closest person to you, doesn't even know that you're a feminist.

As per the relationships you let go, well I asked for details but you refused to share.

So, dear Magnoliaa, are you a feminist?

Magnoliaa:


Okay, then. I might just start forming opinions about you too, and asserting that they are exactly how you are.

No one really knows how you are offline, too, right? You can only say this is what you believe in and that is what you don't believe in... perhaps you wouldn't mind providing us with details too of how you practice all what you preach here, huh?

I know it can be so fun being on the other side and pressing for yeses or nos and the rest.

Well, "everybody" knows that I hold strong opinions and traditional views about marriage.

Acidosis:
I won't say that I know for sure what they practice in real life since many of them rarely talk about the men in their lives

- If you don't know for sure what they practice in real life, why did you claim they're 'non-practicers' of their ideals?

- I don't know about 'many', but a number of them are open about their lives' details online. So how many of them do you know about? And do you follow and listen to?

If you say that you're having the vasectomy conversation with a man that is not opened to such ideas of equality, then your idea or brand of feminism is definitely questionable. It means that your man, the closest person to you, doesn't even know that you're a feminist.

And literally no feminist woman on this thread has said that. If you find a feminist who has said such, we can question her further on her reasons. But how about the feminists that tells you they've had such conversations with their man? The offer still stands. I can provide you with proofs. Maybe not tonight, but then again, your believing such is another issue.

As per the relationships you let go, well I asked for details but you refused to share.

Relationships. Firstly, you didn't ask for any details. Secondly, I requested why you didn't acknowledge what I said. I've told you sha, I have foregone some relationships because I'm a feminist. Is that enough for you conclude I practice what I preach in that aspect?

I didn't even start the relationships. I mean, at first, okay, I was attracted to them, they were intelligent, cool, has vibes and cruise and all, even some handsome ones, but hearing their opinions on women and outlook in life generally, turned me off. I killed off any ideas of dating with them, because even my desire stay true to what I hold dear overrides my craving for being with man and companionship. That didn't align with my values.

You wouldn't doubt this again abi it still isn't enough to sway you? (I don't care for you believing, but then...)

Acidosis:


Well, "everybody" knows that I hold strong opinions and traditional views about marriage.

How do you practice such? What are the values and views? On the other hand, it's good to know you hate gays and lesbians and think they do not deserve a right to live like others and to happiness. Also nice finding out you support teenage marriages -- this is also traditional practices, amongst others.

To be honest, I know you put that in quotations, but I don't know all views you have and hold. Until about a year or so, and my interaction with Poco, I'd classified you as one of these misogynists that troll women and shįt. I formed that opinion based on your posts, and what I understood from it, plus there was limited interaction between us. Now that we're here, do you think it's right for me to be forcing that identity on you? The 'woman-hater' tag even when it's not actually true?

(I'm coming. Still thinking of the rest of the traditional beliefs you'll have.)

And you're asking if I'm a feminist? Are you kidding me? No, actually are. I see. Wait, is it that you actually don't know or this is just a trick question? I would think it was obvious. I mentioned that bit about 'my' relationships and you're still asking me that?

Abi it's the sound of the monicker that is confusing you ni?

Magnoliaa:


LOLLLLLL. You're still not addressing what I'm asking. All I'm saying.

■Tell me the number of feminists you know who are fake first and don't practice what they preach.

I have pointed you to feminists who don't hide their identities.

■If you know any in real life, too, come and furnish us with the tale of how MAJORITY of them don't follow the mouth they make online.

This is what this is about... you cannot exactly tell me how a proud, tag-wearing, vocal and unapologetic feminist is being ambiguous. Is it AmazonTopaz that's being ambiguous about what she believes in? Or me?

■What are you talking about? Which women here have turned around to claim they aren't feminists? Weren't we talking about women who were feminists and what they practice?

You still haven't said anything to substantiate your belief of them not being true to themselves in real life here, as far as I'm concerned.

When I told you I've had to let relationships go because of my beliefs-- you didn't see that?
When Amazon too admitted to having the vasectomy conversation on her part-- you didn't see that?
Other feminists that DO go into details about their lives-- do you see them?

So, just answer me this, let it be settled: are you claiming they are fakes and have character misalignment because they don't practice what they say in real life, and you know for sure, or simply because you haven't read/heard/know of ones who practice?

Acidosis, please stop bobbing and weaving abeg, and answer the questions.

Magnoliaa:


- If you don't know for sure what they practice in real life, why did you claim they're 'non-practicers' of their ideals?

- I don't know about 'many', but a number of them are open about their lives' details online. So how many of them do you know about? And do you follow and listen to?

Are we arguing the case of Nairaland feminists or those outside of this forum? Maybe I should clarify again, I don't know any feminist in real life. The argument is about those who claim and those I perceive to be feminist on Nairaland but rarely talk about their personal relationships for reasons best known to them. If my beliefs are working for me, why wouldn't I use them to argue my case or form an opinion on Nairaland?

And literally no feminist woman on this thread has said that. If you find a feminist who has said such, we can question her further on her reasons. But how about the feminists that tells you they've had such conversations with their man? The offer still stands. I can provide you with proofs. Maybe not tonight, but then again, your believing such is another issue.

The proof will make a lot of difference.

Relationships. Firstly, you didn't ask for any details. Secondly, I requested why you didn't acknowledge what I said. I've told you sha, I have foregone some relationships because I'm a feminist. Is that enough for you conclude I practice what I preach in that aspect?

I didn't even start the relationships. I mean, at first, okay, I was attracted to them, they were intelligent, cool, has vibes and cruise and all, even some handsome ones, but hearing their opinions on women and outlook in life generally, turned me off. I killed off any ideas of dating with them, because even my desire stay true to what I hold dear overrides my craving for being with man and companionship. That didn't align with my values.

You wouldn't doubt this again abi it still isn't enough to sway you? (I don't care for you believing, but then...)

I am not a feminist but I have also killed the idea of dating some kind of ladies in the past. Everyone's got terms and specs. If you do not share those ideas and beliefs that make you stand out from women who aren't feminists, then how do you expect anyone to know your position about feminism?

Are you saying all the ladies on this thread, Poco, Coco, and others are feminists, just because they share similar opinion with you on here? I hope you are not assuming things that are not true?

Magnoliaa:


How do you practice such? What are the values and views? On the other hand, it's good to know you hate gays and lesbians and think they do not deserve a right to live like others and to happiness. Also nice finding out you support teenage marriages -- this is also traditional practices, amongst others.

To be honest, I know you put that in quotations, but I don't know all views you have and hold. Until about a year or so, and my interaction with Poco, I'd classified you as one of these misogynists that troll women and shįt. I formed that opinion based on your posts, and what I understood from it, plus there was limited interaction between us. Now that we're here, do you think it's right for me to be forcing that identity on you? The 'woman-hater' tag even when it's not actually true?

(I'm coming. Still thinking of the rest of the traditional beliefs you'll have.)

And you're asking if I'm a feminist? Are you kidding me? No, actually are. I see. Wait, is it that you actually don't know or this is just a trick question? I would think it was obvious. I mentioned that bit about 'my' relationships and you're still asking me that?

Abi it's the sound of the monicker that is confusing you ni?

I don't have to interact with you to form an opinion of you. You can form an opinion merely reading my posts. I don't think I have DM'ed anyone on Nairaland in 2 years so it's not about my interaction with people, however, I have come to understand people's views about certain topics. When I see a thread, I can almost tell what certain monikers would say and what they wouldn't. I think this is pretty straightforward. Opinions are not facts, so I'm not saying that opinions or perceptions have to be 100% accurate. It's from opinion that you guys select and know the right cliques/friendships.

You can't simply call me a woman-hater because I agreed to holding some traditional views about marriage between a man and a woman. It does not correlate. Teenage marriage is rooted in Islam and as far as I know, it's against the law in Southern Nigeria, same as LGBTQ. So, why do you want me to make a case for LGBTQ and other banned items like cocaine or marijuana just to show that I do not hate people? I don't think I'm ready for that conversation right now.

Good to know your position about feminism. I had no idea to be honest.

Acidosis:
Are we arguing the case of Nairaland feminists or those outside of this forum? Maybe I should clarify again, I don't know any feminist in real life. The argument is about those who claim and those I perceive to be feminist on Nairaland but rarely talk about their personal relationships for reasons best known to them. If my beliefs are working for me, why wouldn't I use them to argue my case or form an opinion on Nairaland?

If you don't know for sure what they practice in real life, why did you conclude the ladies who claim or that you perceive to be feminists are 'non-practicers'?

You were responding to Amazon... and you said, "you people." Acid, are you telling me now that you're just realising I was asking you GENERALLY? I said people accuse liberal-leaning people or woke people or feminists or just people they think are unconventional online of not practicing what they preach. Coco and Amazon are the only women I categorically know are feminist or do nor reject the tag. I am a feminist...as well Kobojunkie.

*But then keep in mind too that there are some people who do not like to use terms to used to describe them even though they suuport something...

I think there are two "grouses" here... you're questioning Coco because she has refused to say details about her life, and then responding to all of us (the unanimous feminists on NL) through Amazon...

You should have told me laataro that it was the feminist women on NL you're referring to. Oya, lemme throw something for you and send you on the errand. Go and read apatheticme's posts. She's a feminist and you'll get more than enough sef from going through her profile. Hopefully, I don't need to invite her or plead with her or make her feel obligated to heed any mention of me in sharing her stories just because. Her previous posts, made voluntarily and as she wished, is still there.

Moving on, my questions are still standing - are you saying "we people" on NL are non-practicers of our online talk because we've mostly refused to share details with you? Lemme know if that's what you're saying so we can move on... we can first agree on the fact that that they don't share doesn't mean they don't practice. Then the focus should now be on WHY they choose not to share, instead of you concluding it's because they don't do anything worth sharing, 'nugo?'

When you also said, "you people..." I'm assuming you have a specific group of women in mind. And they do not include the group of women you're trying to bring in now, i.e., the ones who speak on feminist issues or defend feminism but don't call themselves feminists. If you're referring to 'you guys, or you people', feminists, then let's exclude the ladies who don't call themselves feminists... only Coco, Amazon, me... I'm saying again are the ones I know on this thread. Hathor is another... since you want to limit your address to us. No problem. These facts are undeniable:

- Many feminists, on LESS ANONYMOUS sites, share corroborating personal stories about their beliefs and ideals. So you can't say those ones don't practice what they preach.

- Coco's and Amazon's responses I quoted up there said that they do talk about vasectomy in their homes...and that they choose not to share with you, a stranger online, doesn't deduct from the truthfulness of that.

- I also mentioned that I was not limiting my response to vasectomy conversation...KanwuliaExtra is also another woman that intersperse her posts with her personal details. A feminist.

Do with these what you will first.

But just continue ooo. Continue. You want feminists women to be sharing details of their lives online and putting their significant others on display just to prove (that you still won't accept) how bona-fide they are in the cause, but for you, I no even know when you marry. One thing about her, I no know o. See ehn, I know some might be thinking I'm doing too much or I'm taking it this far or even speaking on behalf of other women... but it's necessary. So long as I've not crossed the line into disrespect and such. If you understand how it is with your own current relationship, and how you barely talk about it, why are you demanding the same from others? Because, in fact, I dare say, it is an ASSUMPTION that you're married. You yourself haven't explicitly or in passing mention such... e just be like say you dey post like a husband-man. If you want their vasectomy conversations and decisions with their SOs and as feminists to be shared here, would you mind telling us how you've applied your traditional beliefs to your marriage too? How is it working for you?

No, I AM NOT POKING or crossing any boundary. I am simply pointing out to you what you're doing as well, and it's fun for the heck of it.

I know many 'traditional' people on here as well, who don't say nothing about their lives... that's okay. What I won't agree with is it making it into a feminist or their character's flaw because they're (or we're) doing what other are doing. Less details.

The proof will make a lot of difference.

A lot of difference in what? A lot of difference in the conversation abi to you? Abeg, let me know before I go and waste my data and time... but I see you're trying to circle back to Nairaland feminists. So if I brought you a deluge of evidence, shey you won't claim it doesn't matter, because they are not the NL feminists you were referring to?? Chei.

I am not a feminist but I have also killed the idea of dating some kind of ladies in the past. Everyone's got terms and specs. If you do not share those ideas and beliefs that make you stand out from women who aren't feminists, then how do you expect anyone to know your position about feminism?

I am a feminist and I've just told you about relationships I had to forego. I said, feminism inspired that. Other things might have inspired you breaking up with ladies on your own. I am also on Nairaland. I ask AGAIN: Is it enough proof for you to believe that I practice what I preach relationship-wise?
I also share feminist posts and articles and videos with/to those around me. On my WhatsApp statuses, Facebook... yes, those are still online, but I do have people who know me in real life on my list so.

I provided you with details now you're going off on other things...

You're the only one here that has been making assumptions. You cannot call a non-declaration false or untrue. Just like when some Christians ask atheists to prove the non-existence of a thing. I am not an atheist, but (the) logic is common and available to all.

Acidosis:
I don't have to interact with you to form an opinion of you. You can form an opinion merely reading my posts. I don't think I have DM'ed anyone on Nairaland in 2 years so it's not about my interaction with people, however, I have come to understand people's views about certain topics. When I see a thread, I can almost tell what certain monikers would say and what they wouldn't. I think this is pretty straightforward. Opinions are not facts, so I'm not saying that opinions or perceptions have to be 100% accurate. It's from opinion that you guys select and know the right cliques/friendships.

You can't simply call me a woman-hater because I agreed to holding some traditional views about marriage between a man and a woman. It does not correlate. Teenage marriage is rooted in Islam and as far as I know, it's against the law in Southern Nigeria, same as LGBTQ. So, why do you want me to make a case for LGBTQ and other banned items like cocaine or marijuana just to show that I do not hate people? I don't think I'm ready for that conversation right now.

Good to know your position about feminism. I had no idea to be honest.

Okay... so how do you put into practice your traditional beliefs? I only see you share some of them or talk about it...I don't think you've provided any personal details backing those up, and showing exactly how you're a traditional person.

Good you know opinions aren't fact then. So your understanding of people's posts in not enough evidence to judge the whole of a person and especially their lives offline. You realise it's possible to be anti-A and anti-B at the same time. So because Coco made a post calling Putin names, you concluded she's automatically pro-Ukraine. Do you not think that is a huge error on your part? Especially, on an issue she's barely commented on.

The point is, can I assume, is it okay for me to conclude that you're a bigot and you wish the LGBTQ+ community to rot in prisons and in hell, just because you don't speak for them? I mean, rightly, you don't speak on every issues and neither do you comment on things that have no bearing to your real life - is it right for me to make assumptions about them, things you've never talked about?

Wow. Logic. I can't call you a woman-hater because you hold traditional views about men and women but you want to force Cococandy into being a lesbian and an Hindu because she holds liberal views about sexuality and religion.

Seee. Good morning and Bur-bye.

Magnoliaa:


If you don't know for sure what they practice in real life, why did you conclude the ladies who claim or that you perceive to be feminists are 'non-practicers'?

You were responding to Amazon... and you said, "you people." Acid, are you telling me now that you're just realising I was asking you GENERALLY? I said people accuse liberal-leaning people or woke people or feminists or just people they think are unconventional online of not practicing what they preach. Coco and Amazon are the only women I categorically know are feminist or do nor reject the tag. I am a feminist...as well Kobojunkie.

*But then keep in mind too that there are some people who do not like to use terms to used to describe them even though they suuport something...

I think there are two "grouses" here... you're questioning Coco because she has refused to say details about her life, and then responding to all of us (the unanimous feminists on NL) through Amazon...

You should have told me laataro that it was the feminist women on NL you're referring to. Oya, lemme throw something for you and send you on the errand. Go and read apatheticme's posts. She's a feminist and you'll get more than enough sef from going through her profile. Hopefully, I don't need to invite her or plead with her or make her feel obligated to heed any mention of me in sharing her stories just because. Her previous posts, made voluntarily and as she wished, is still there.

Moving on, my questions are still standing - are you saying "we people" on NL are non-practicers of our online talk because we've mostly refused to share details with you? Lemme know if that's what you're saying so we can move on... we can first agree on the fact that that they don't share doesn't mean they don't practice. Then the focus should now be on WHY they choose not to share, instead of you concluding it's because they don't do anything worth sharing, 'nugo?'

When you also said, "you people..." I'm assuming you have a specific group of women in mind. And they do not include the group of women you're trying to bring in now, i.e., the ones who speak on feminist issues or defend feminism but don't call themselves feminists. If you're referring to 'you guys, or you people', feminists, then let's exclude the ladies who don't call themselves feminists... only Coco, Amazon, me... I'm saying again are the ones I know on this thread. Hathor is another... since you want to limit your address to us. No problem. These facts are undeniable:

- Many feminists, on LESS ANONYMOUS sites, share corroborating personal stories about their beliefs and ideals. So you can't say those ones don't practice what they preach.

- Coco's and Amazon's responses I quoted up there said that they do talk about vasectomy in their homes...and that they choose not to share with you, a stranger online, doesn't deduct from the truthfulness of that.

- I also mentioned that I was not limiting my response to vasectomy conversation...KanwuliaExtra is also another woman that intersperse her posts with her personal details. A feminist.

Do with these what you will first.

But just continue ooo. Continue. You want feminists women to be sharing details of their lives online and putting their significant others on display just to prove (that you still won't accept) how bona-fide they are in the cause, but for you, I no even know when you marry. One thing about her, I no know o. See ehn, I know some might be thinking I'm doing too much or I'm taking it this far or even speaking on behalf of other women... but it's necessary. So long as I've not crossed the line into disrespect and such. If you understand how it is with your own current relationship, and how you barely talk about it, why are you demanding the same from others? Because, in fact, I dare say, it is an ASSUMPTION that you're married. You yourself haven't explicitly or in passing mention such... e just be like say you dey post like a husband-man. If you want their vasectomy conversations and decisions with their SOs and as feminists to be shared here, would you mind telling us how you've applied your traditional beliefs to your marriage too? How is it working for you?

No, I AM NOT POKING or crossing any boundary. I am simply pointing out to you what you're doing as well, and it's fun for the heck of it.

I know many 'traditional' people on here as well, who don't say nothing about their lives... that's okay. What I won't agree with is it making it into a feminist or their character's flaw because they're (or we're) doing what other are doing. Less details.



A lot of difference in what? A lot of difference in the conversation abi to you? Abeg, let me know before I go and waste my data and time... but I see you're trying to circle back to Nairaland feminists. So if I brought you a deluge of evidence, shey you won't claim it doesn't matter, because they are not the NL feminists you were referring to?? Chei.



I am a feminist and I've just told you about relationships I had to forego. I said, feminism inspired that. Other things might have inspired you breaking up with ladies on your own. I am also on Nairaland. I ask AGAIN: Is it enough proof for you to believe that I practice what I preach relationship-wise?
I also share feminist posts and articles and videos with/to those around me. On my WhatsApp statuses, Facebook... yes, those are still online, but I do have people who know me in real life on my list so.

I provided you with details now you're going off on other things...

You're the only one here that has been making assumptions. You cannot call a non-declaration false. Just like when some Christians ask atheists to prove the non-existence of a thing. I am not an atheist, but (the) logic is common and available to all.

I was mentioned. And yes, I do.

Is it that Acidosis can't wrap his mind around the idea that a woman can be a feminist and yet cook for her family like Cococandy does? I think many people still have this idea that caring for your family contradicts feminism, which is wrong. But since it is difficult to correct such notions, I will not waste my energy and accept to be called fake feminist or online feminist. Either way, it's still feminist and proudly so.

Hathor5:
I was mentioned. And yes, I do.

Is it that Acidosis can't wrap his mind around the idea that a woman can be a feminist and yet cook for her family like Cococandy does? I think many people still have this idea that caring for your family contradicts feminism, which is wrong. But since it is difficult to correct such notions, I will not waste my energy and accept to be called fake feminist or online feminist. Either way, it's still feminist and proudly so.

Thank you o. Oga want to be dragging me into the matter of women wey no dey call themselves feminists. That one na their issue na. If the conversation calls for it, we can talk about them. But we clearly know women called themselves feminists on here and speak in favor of feminism. It's hard not to see. Acknowledge those ones.

If you have a thing with women who are vocal and loud and troublesome, but don't identify as feminists, take them up. It's not a feminism/feminist problem.

Acidosis, this is another lady telling you she's a feminist. Every single person I've mentioned do not change their mouths about whether they are feminists or not. Bratis.lava too. And buda.atum. This is an anonymous forum... so even while some of these people might not talk much about their lives like every other person, there are those who do. Kanwulia, Apathetic, there's this lady, Hanny-smilez too in the diary section I used to follow and a Nelly, and many more... they post about their lives and relationships.

Magnoliaa:


Okay... so how do you put into practice your traditional beliefs? I only see you share some of them or talk about it...I don't think you've provided any personal details backing those up, and showing exactly how you're a traditional person.

The details are everywhere. Those who know me know that I do not oppose "house wives". I make strong cases for roles in relationships and why a man should be a sole provider (even though he's not immune to challenges of life, after all no one is). I'm a strong advocate of masculinity and femininity. Those who know me know that I'm against anything that will emasculate the male gender.

In the past 24 hours, I have made cases against vasectomy as I do not see the need for it. I even went to claim that I will never subject my balls for experiments under any condition. Aren't these enough? Now when you make a case for vasectomy, I expect you and anyone else making a similar case to provide similar statements. The fact that I ignored the whole ethical line of thought doesn't mean a thing. You want us to believe that vasectomy isn't a big deal, at the same time, you're too reserved to talk about your experiences in the name of ethics. Make it make sense na. Whatever is not worth sharing in your household is not worth putting out there for the public to accept.

Good you know opinions aren't fact then. So your understanding of people's posts in not enough evidence judge to judge the whole of a person and especially their lives offline. You realise it's possible to be anti-A and anti-B at the same time. So because Coco made a post calling Putin names, you concluded she's automatically pro-Ukraine. Do you not think that is a huge error on your part? Especially, on an issue she's barely commented on.

Again, the fact that I ignored her response about the Ukraine war doesn't mean that I accept her version of the truth. Can Coco deny the fact that she has shared more than 20 anti-Russian posts on Nairaland in the past 1 week? And within the same period, she has never shared any anti-Ukraine/West?

The equation no balance. It's all part of why I used the term "character misalignment". You can't turn around to say you're this when your actions and the evidences you put out there suggest another thing. We don't read minds on the Internet. You confuse yourself in the process and those who look up to you.

The point is, can I assume, is it okay for me to conclude that you're a bigot and you wish the LGBTQ+ community to rot in prisons and in hell, just because you don't speak for them? I mean, rightly, you don't speak on every issues and neither do you comment on things that have no bearing to your real life - is it right for me to make assumptions about them, things you've never talked about?

I don't speak for LGBTQ+ community because I don't care about their belief. Their beliefs are completely against my beliefs so making a case for them is totally hypocritical. I won't watch my daughter or son become one. I wouldn't live with a ga.y either. It doesn't mean that those who chose to be ga.y do not deserve to live. Like I mentioned earlier, this isn't something I want to discuss right now but I have, in the past, made cases against such practices.

Wow. Logic. I can't call you a woman-hater because you hold traditional views about men and women but you want to force Cococandy into being a lesbian and an Hindu because she holds liberal views about sexuality and religion.

Seee. Good morning and Bur-bye.

It's funny how you put traditional views and woman-hater in one sentence. The two no relate.

It's also funny how you hide under "liberal" views to make cases for and against everything. There's no such thing as liberal view on religion.

Hathor5:


I was mentioned. And yes, I do.

Is it that Acidosis can't wrap his mind around the idea that a woman can be a feminist and yet cook for her family like Cococandy does? I think many people still have this idea that caring for your family contradicts feminism, which is wrong. But since it is difficult to correct such notions, I will not waste my energy and accept to be called fake feminist or online feminist. Either way, it's still feminist and proudly so.

It's good to know that Coco cooks for her family even more than many "traditional" wives. Now when a female moniker comes up with a problem, it would be good to see Coco talk about how to manage crisis in the home, how an ideal wife should take care of her home, not sleeping and waking up on threads that make it mandatory for the man to cook and clean or threads calling for divorce and separation, or relationship between a man and another man.

Acidosis:
The details are everywhere. Those who know me know that I do not oppose "house wives". I make strong cases for roles in relationships and why a man should be a sole provider (even though he's not immune to challenges of life, after all no one is). I'm a strong advocate of masculinity and femininity. Those who know me know that I'm against anything that will emasculate the male gender.

Personal details of how you put all you believe in here into practice? How do you do it in your home and with people around you? That's what I'm asking about. Making arguments about what you support isn't different from what those ladies are doing. Posting about things they support. Like, like, is your wife an house wife or she has a career? How do you make such decisions. You don't get. Since you expected details of conversations and personal moments to be provided for you here, I'd appreciate if you can do same. It's easy to type, 'I'm a masculine man and this and that.' So, if you're saying sha that you always usually buttress your points with personal details all over NL, point me in the right direction. Where are those posts. Okay, I accept you cannot take a vasectomy. Great. Tell us about the others. Other traditional things that you put on here that you've done in your household. Which of them are you actively practicing?

I don't speak for LGBTQ+ community because I don't care about their belief. Their beliefs are completely against my beliefs so making a case for them is totally hypocritical. I won't watch my daughter or son become one. I wouldn't live with a ga.y either. It doesn't mean that those who chose to be ga.y do not deserve to live. Like I mentioned earlier, this isn't something I want to discuss right now but I have, in the past, made cases against such practices.

If you understood this, then why is it hard for you to understand those who believe this? You make a case for things you believe in. You defend housewives, but you're not a woman. Why is it character misalignment when people defend things they are not, but show support for? Why shouldn't others make cases for things they believe in?

It's funny how you put traditional views and woman-hater in one sentence. The two no relate.

Woman haters hold traditional views about women, even if all traditionalists aren't women-haters. So yes, I can't call you a woman-hater, but a woman-hater naturally holds traditional views about women. Now if you aren't a woman-hater because of your views, does it follow that Coco too should be a lesbian or a Buddhist because of her views? That's what you're saying. People have to be things they support. That is my point, NOT what liberalism or traditionalism means.

It's also funny how you hide under "liberal" views to make cases for and against everything. There's no such thing as liberal view on religion.

Tolerance, understanding of people's right to practicing what they want without coercion, no strong adherence to a particular religion are all liberal perspectives towards/on religion. Yes, most religions tend to be conservative and fundamental, but many others in the world do not command a rigid followership and practices.

Acidosis:
It's good to know that Coco cooks for her family even more than many "traditional" wives. Now when a female moniker comes up with a problem, it would be good to see Coco talk about how to manage crisis in the home, how an ideal wife should take care of her home, not sleeping and waking up on threads that make it mandatory for the man to cook and clean or threads calling for divorce and separation, or relationship between a man and another man.

Why do you assume her home is like the homes of other Naija housewives? I can tell a woman in an abusive relationship to quit it, or even separate and stay away from an abusive husband. If my husband no dey beat me, why I go leave am? Why do you keep assuming the disrespect and uncertainty and the whole hullabaloo that accompanies virtuous Naija women and their horsebands are evident in Coco's home? Abi you're saying Coco's comments ALL THE TIME ON EVERY POSTS is advising divorce and separation and homosexuality?

Coco sleeps? You that see posts of person wey dey sleep, you no be night-watcher yourself?

Now you're just being unrealistically unbelievable at this point.

Because we already have a million messengers telling women how to be good wives but not enough telling men how to be good husbands

Obviously women are pulling their relationship weight more than men hence the need to focus on men with the messaging. You can’t keep doing something one way and expect different results each time. With everyone harping on how women can even be “perfecter” than they already are, relationship issues still exist.

Maybe we should talk to men? That’s why I focus on that.

Oh and I’ve never said men must cook and clean bla bla. But if they want non-traditional wives who contribute financially too, then they have to cook and clean too. It’s only fair.

Before you ask, yes my husband participates in keeping our home too. He’s not inconsiderate

Acidosis:



It's good to know that Coco cooks for her family even more than many "traditional" wives. Now when a female moniker comes up with a problem, it would be good to see Coco talk about how to manage crisis in the home, how an ideal wife should take care of her home, not sleeping and waking up on threads that make it mandatory for the man to cook and clean or threads calling for divorce and separation, or relationship between a man and another man.

Magnoliaa:


Personal details of how you put all you believe in here into practice? How do you do it in your home and with people around you? That's what I'm asking about. Making arguments about what you support isn't different from what those ladies are doing. Posting about things they support. Like, like, is your wife an house wife or she has a career? How do you make such decisions. You don't get. Since you expected details of conversations and personal moments to be provided for you here, I'd appreciate if you can do same. It's easy to type, 'I'm a masculine man and this and that.' So, if you're saying sha that you always usually buttress your points with personal details all over NL, point me in the right direction. Where are those posts.

I never mentioned that all women must be housewives. My position is that I am not against the notion of housewife so if my wife decides to be one, I have to uphold my belief.

Okay, I accept you cannot take a vasectomy. Great. Tell us about the others. Other traditional things that you put on here that you've done in your household. Which of them are you actively practicing?

If you understood this, then why is it hard for you to understand those who believe this? You make a case for things you believe in. You defend housewives, but you're not a woman. Why is it character misalignment when people defend things they are not, but show support for? Why shouldn't others make cases for things they believe in?

I am not a woman but I can make a case based on what I expect from the woman in my life. Others can make a case for things they believe in so long as they're willing to practice or live with people who practice that thing. You can't, for example, make a case for marijuana/Indian help, when you won't allow your man or son smoke Indian hemp. It is not enough to say that you've discussed Vasectomy with your significant others and sons. Have they agreed to undergo the procedure? If your answer is NO, the next question should be how did you marry someone whose ideas of family planning contradict yours?

Acidosis:



It's good to know that Coco cooks for her family even more than many "traditional" wives. Now when a female moniker comes up with a problem, it would be good to see Coco talk about how to manage crisis in the home, how an ideal wife should take care of her home, not sleeping and waking up on threads that make it mandatory for the man to cook and clean or threads calling for divorce and separation, or relationship between a man and another man.

And this is exactly what I've been writing about in my last post. In your mind, a feminist shouldn't cook that much or more than a traditional wife. It explains why you think she doesn't practice what she preaches. The problem is that you have a narrow idea of what a feminist must be like not Coco preaching what she doesn't practice unless you show me a post where she said wives/feminists shouldn't cook.

Hathor5:


And this is exactly what I've been writing about in my last post. In your mind, a feminist shouldn't cook that much or more than a traditional wife. It explains why you think she doesn't practice what she preaches. The problem is that you have a narrow idea of what a feminist must be like not Coco preaching what she doesn't practice unless you show me a post where she said wives/feminists shouldn't cook.

I don't have a narrow idea of what a feminist must be. What I don't have is a true picture of the average [real]life of a feminist on Nairaland because of the issues they invest their time and resources.

@Acidosis, I have mentioned Kawulia, Hanny (@Hannysmilez), and Apathetic (@apatheticme). I said a whole lot of things in that post. Yet you just skipped right over it to comment on the ones you want.

These are few of the women I know who share their personal stories and experiences on here.

You mentioned feminists on NL. Stop setting up Coco to be the only one and demanding she tell you things.