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Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by cococandy(f): 12:34pm On Mar 08, 2022
Acidosis:


You want to reason my matter? grin grin How?

I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll figure it out
Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Magnoliaa(f): 12:40pm On Mar 08, 2022
apatheticme:
Hi!!

Tnks for dragging me down here. Been a while I posted here though, I've been really busy.

I'll go through the thread and comment appropriately.

Hey mama. grin grin I no drag you here to come and fight o. Or to smear you or anything like that.

Someone is asking how an average feminist's life is like (now that I think of it, it sounds crazilyyyyy entitled). Why the fk would you want to know how feminists live their lives? grin For someone that doesn't even talk about his own oh.

Anyway, he claimed some of us are hypocrites because we don't talk about how things happen in our homes, and I told him you're someone who references thing in your home front from time to time on here.

You talk about what you do, how you do it, duty-sharing and so I directed him to your profile.

He MIGHT start poking or wanting to be asking more questions, you don't have to oblige and engage. I have sha shown him a feminist on NL that talks about some of the things she does offline. To back up her belief.

I even tried directing to other feminists on Twitter and FB who are very open, since those places are less anonymous, but Oga say no, na NL women im wan chook mouth into...

90% of people on NL are private, has nothing to with beliefs or being scared in this case. How you do then expect to find about 20-50 feminists baring their lives? Because of what? How many traditional people or redpillers do that?

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Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by pocohantas(f): 12:46pm On Mar 08, 2022
cococandy:
I do drop personal tidbits once in a while because ppl like acidosis think what I have to say has no merit unless I use personal examples .

But then the trolls get a pen and paper to take notes and then embellish it when they come for me grin

It’s all good

It is always the embellishment for me. One said my mother is using a Nigerian used Scanfrost fridge. Then another day he makes reference to Hisense. So he knows it is Hisense, but deliberately changed it to Nigerian used Scanfrost. Person no suppose take those ones serious. cheesy

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Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by cococandy(f): 12:49pm On Mar 08, 2022
pocohantas:


It is always the embellishment for me. One said my mother is using a Nigerian used Scanfrost fridge. Then another day he makes reference to Hisense. So he knows it is Hisense, but deliberately changed it to Nigerian used Scanfrost. Person no suppose take those ones serious. cheesy

Hunie I take everything with a grain of salt

2 Likes

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Klass99(f): 12:56pm On Mar 08, 2022
cool

2 Likes

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by tensazangetsu20(m): 1:08pm On Mar 08, 2022
Klass99:


I thought so too, because I have seen a post where a male user said upon inquiry he was informed the procedure would cost him 150k here in Lagos.

I been no one follow Acid argue so I remained silent. This just goes to show not all data sources from the internet is accurate and personal accounts can be more reliable and accurate.

Probably they wanted to talk about reversal. Reversal surgery is 2 million but the main one is 80k. Even 65k in some places.

2 Likes

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Klass99(f): 1:31pm On Mar 08, 2022
cool

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Mariangeles(f): 1:50pm On Mar 08, 2022
tensazangetsu20:


That picture is wrong. My vasectomy at Marie Stopes cost 80k

You went ahead with it?
As in, you’ve had it done?
Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Saintmary(f): 1:52pm On Mar 08, 2022
Like I implied earlier, I do not recommend for a man who has never had any kids to go for vasectomy.


Vasectomy is mostly reversible, but post reversion fertility in some rare cases is not guaranteed.



Let each gender clean up their house, men teach your fellow men to be reasonable, stop condoning bad actions.



Women, stop tearing your fellow women down, it's not pretty, it's ugly, stop being too quick to distance yourselves from your fellow women



Let's be better than our forebears, maybe, just maybe, we will leave this world a better place.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by tensazangetsu20(m): 1:53pm On Mar 08, 2022
Klass99:


So the procedure is even reversible! Chai ignorance is not a good thing and NL is full of ignorant people who just love to argue.

You need to see the way some of your gender people were arguing ignorantly on one thread about the procedure being irreversible.

What is it about the male ego that makes you people say stuff you know nothing about? When I have little to no knowledge about a subject matter I prefer to be quiet and allow myself be educated.

That is how one was arguing with me that a particular story is fake, there's no way one individual can have N500 million to deposit in a bank. I told him guy I have worked in the finacial services sector (not a bank) and we had both individuals and small corporates depositing more than that sum with our firm, some were doing so in foreign currency sef.

Next thing was for the guy to start insulting me because he was outsmarted and his ignorance exposed. I had real brain drain that day and felt dull afterwards, from arguing with an ignoramus fool.

Yeah it's reversible but the success depends on how long ago it was done. After like 40 years the probability of it being reversed is like 30 percent but if one wants kids there's a procedure to extract sperm from the testes.

2 Likes

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by tensazangetsu20(m): 1:54pm On Mar 08, 2022
Mariangeles:


You went ahead with it?
As in, you’ve had it done?

Yeah cool cool cool. Completely childfree.

1 Like

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Magnoliaa(f): 1:54pm On Mar 08, 2022
Acidosis:
What makes you think that men are not contributing domestically at the same rate? When you say let's talk to men, you're assuming that men do not contribute domestically.

Okay, was this why you called Coco out? To point out that it is pointless and unnecessary and not because you want to brand her an hypocrite?

If that's your reason for disagreeing with her, ok.

Anyway, sir, it is not my assumption or belief that men don't contribute domestically. Researches back it up. Social observations does. Fieldwork and surveys and questionnaires support that. You yourself said domestic duties are the primary work of a woman, so even removing all the research and samples stuff, you should be able to conclude that more women are doing domestic duties more than men are, and on the other hand, because of the push for women empowerment, more women are breaking into the workforce and being active providers.

The issue is that, in a traditional setting, people do not assign roles based on financial strength. If you think that you cannot cope with cleaning and cooking (as primary duties) for a man whose income is below yours, please do well to marry a wealthy man.

You're really making different arguments all at once. Just look at what you're saying. How is a woman earning more than the actual provider supposed to cope with her primary duties again? Why would you advise her far far to goan marry a wealthy man, grin when you can simply advise them to share? Why should an equally earning woman cope with the stress of washing and cleaning on top? Nobody has to cope if everybody manages everything well. I thought you just agreed to that. How many men are actually wealthy? Are you? C'mon. It is fact that most women will get married to men within their social circles and earning ranges. undecided Abi how many couples do you know that their incomes are vastly different? Abi you're suggesting I should goan marry a wealthy man just because I want to do domestic duties with ease?

You too, if you think you cannot cope with providing and bringing money (as primary duties) for a woman whose domestic duties are tasking, do well to stay unmarried. smiley smiley

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Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Mariangeles(f): 1:59pm On Mar 08, 2022
tensazangetsu20:


Yeah cool cool cool. Completely childfree.

Well, I hope it is easily reversible as they say, and you don’t end up regretting your decision.
Remember; change is the only constant thing in life, and we will not always feel how we feel now, or want what we want now.
Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Magnoliaa(f): 2:00pm On Mar 08, 2022
cococandy:
I do drop personal tidbits once in a while because ppl like acidosis think what I have to say has no merit unless I use personal examples .

But then the trolls get a pen and paper to take notes and then embellish it when they come for me grin

It’s all good

And you know the funny thing about this, if you na actually share details about your life and what you do, they'll say you're over-compesating and projecting and seeking for attention with fancy pictures instead of focusing on you life and family.

4 Likes

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Acidosis(m): 2:03pm On Mar 08, 2022
cococandy:


I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll figure it out

undecided undecided
Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Saintmary(f): 2:13pm On Mar 08, 2022
tensazangetsu20:


That picture is wrong. My vasectomy at Marie Stopes cost 80k


I'm impressed that you could actually be the exception in this country. Very commendable.


Permit me to ask a few questions



What motivated your decision?


Do you already have kids?

I want to assume you at least have a long term partner, did your partner agree to it?


How do you plan to handle fallouts from loved ones who are privy to your decision?



Don't mind me, you're only one of very few men who are brave enough to get a vasectomy, hence the barrage of questions.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by reddingtonblack: 2:15pm On Mar 08, 2022
cococandy:
I do drop personal tidbits once in a while because ppl like acidosis think what I have to say has no merit unless I use personal examples .

But then the trolls get a pen and paper to take notes and then embellish it when they come for me grin

It’s all good




These one major problem with feminist wannabe, under the guise of "we just want freedom" you guyz handout instructions to men, thinking men won't see thru
now why will you tell trolls how to go about trolling, what if i prefer to screenmuch or what if are not even interested in ur story ... whats she feeling like, feminist & complacency undecided smh

1 Like

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by tensazangetsu20(m): 2:17pm On Mar 08, 2022
Saintmary:



I'm impressed that you could actually be the exception in this country. Very commendable.


Permit me to ask a few questions



What motivated your decision?


Do you already have kids?

I want to assume you at least have a long term partner, did your partner agree to it?


How do you plan to handle fallouts from loved ones who are privy to your decision?



Don't mind me, you're only one of very few men who are brave enough to get a vasectomy, hence the barrage of questions.

Bringing a child to this shithole continent is one of the greatest mistakes a human can make.

No kids

No partner

My parents have already zeroed their mind on me having kids. I already told them. I have always wanted a vasectomy since I was 18.

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Acidosis(m): 2:22pm On Mar 08, 2022
[quote author=Magnoliaa post=110854617]

Okay, was this why you called Coco out? To point out that it is pointless and unnecessary and not because you want to brand her an hypocrite?

If that's your reason for disagreeing with her, ok.

Anyway, sir, it is not my assumption or belief that men don't contribute domestically. Researches back it up. Social observations does. Fieldwork and surveys and questionnaires support that. You yourself said domestic duties are the primary work of a woman, so even removing all the research and samples stuff, you should be able to conclude that more women are doing domestic duties more than men are, and on the other hand, because of the push for women empowerment, more women are breaking into the workforce and being active providers.



You're really making different arguments all at once. Just look at what you're saying. How is a woman earning more than the actual provider supposed to cope with her primary duties again? Why would you advise her far far to goan marry a wealthy man, grin when you can simply advise them to share? Why should an equally earning woman cope with the stress of washing and cleaning on top? Nobody has to cope if everybody manages everything well. I thought you just agreed to that. How many men are actually wealthy? Are you? C'mon. It is fact that most women will get married to men within their social circles and earning ranges. undecided Abi how many couples do you know that their incomes are vastly different? Abi you're suggesting I should goan marry a wealthy man just because I want to do domestic duties with ease?

You too, if you think you cannot cope with providing and bringing money (as primary duties) for a woman whose domestic duties are tasking, do well to stay unmarried. smiley smiley

There's nothing I want to type now that I haven't already mentioned. Whether their income is vastly different or not, the traditional roles remain the same. I think I have mentioned this. You cannot simply walk into the house and ask me why I didn't cook, wash, or clean your space because you got a pay rise. I could do it as a secondary duty but not because of your pay cheque. If you ask me to buy you a dress or restock our store, of course, as the sole provider, I would gladly do it.

Maybe this lifestyle doesn't apply to you or anyone you know, but that is my reality. It has never changed, and will never change. My reality is what I share and recommend for those who care to know.

Equally earning spouse who cannot cope with the stress will either outsource the duty to a maid (still her duty to hire whoever she thinks is capable of carrying out these roles) or simply hope that her husband will continue to do his bit of secondary responsibilities. That's the traditional view but it's okay to practise a different view.
Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Magnoliaa(f): 2:28pm On Mar 08, 2022
Acidosis:
...

Okay, I would assume your response above isn't a contradiction to mine. smiley smiley You were the one who brought up the domestic issue and tried to drag what Coco does, did, is doing inside. When off on traditional marriages too.

Recommend your reality all you want, let others do same for theirs. We're not all the same and cannot see life the same way, so the same things won't work for us...

Good afternoon.

2 Likes

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Klass99(f): 2:29pm On Mar 08, 2022
cool

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Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by apatheticme(f): 2:31pm On Mar 08, 2022
Magnoliaa:


Hey mama. grin grin I no drag you here to come and fight o. Or to smear you or anything like that.
Lol @bolded. I understand

Magnoliaa:

Someone is asking how an average feminist's life is like (now that I think of it, it sounds crazilyyyyy entitled). Why the fk would you want to know how feminists live their lives? grin For someone that doesn't even talk about his own oh.

Yeah, of course most times, they are entitled because they already have some nonsensical mindset about women. Forgetting that this ain't the 80s any more, when women were drilled to be zombies and just accept whatever men do to them.

Magnoliaa:

Anyway, he claimed some of us are hypocrites because we don't talk about how things happen in our homes, and I told him you're someone who references thing in your home front from time to time on here.

This is purely reverse psychology!! Males use it a lot, especially so called Redpillers and Alphas. They try to guilt-trip you into spilling your story, poke holes in it and still call you names for being sincere. I generally just ignore their whims wink

Magnoliaa:

You talk about what you do, how you do it, duty-sharing and so I directed him to your profile.


Sure, I really love using my experiences, other people's real life experiences to learn and teach other women. And I also talk about this whenever I have the opportunity; online or offline.

Magnoliaa:

He MIGHT start poking or wanting to be asking more questions, you don't have to oblige and engage.


I understand, no crime in being inquisitive or being curious, however I'll be waiting for him if it borders on the usual name calling, slut-shaming and mud slinging misogynistic campaigns they engage on here. Hell definitely meet more than his match!

Magnoliaa:

I have sha shown him a feminist on NL that talks about some of the things she does offline. To back up her belief.

I even tried directing to other feminists on Twitter and FB who are very open, since those places are less anonymous, but Oga say no, na NL women im wan chook mouth into...

90% of people on NL are private, has nothing to with beliefs or being scared in this case. How you do then expect to find about 20-50 feminists baring their lives? Because of what? How many traditional people or redpillers do that?

Exactly, you've done your best. Keep up the good work, keep shining, Keep your head high, Keep your circle nice and trim. Stick to whatever works for you.

Happy International Women's day to you and every woman out there. We rock!!

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Magnoliaa(f): 2:34pm On Mar 08, 2022
apatheticme:
Happy International Women's day to you and every woman out there. We rock!!

Happy International Women's Day to you too kiss kiss smiley. More wins and success in our lives ❤ ❤ ❤.

6 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by tensazangetsu20(m): 2:36pm On Mar 08, 2022
Klass99:


Lmao grin.

At the bolded, you really need to stop saying this.

At the rest of your story, your mama & papa, no bundle you go MFM for prayers and deliverance?

Please ehn, were you born and bred in Naija? Or did you and your folks relocate back to Naija from a foreign country?

Born and bred you. Oh my parents don't care. They already know my stance on childbirth and have accepted it.

2 Likes

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Klass99(f): 2:46pm On Mar 08, 2022
cool

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Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by tensazangetsu20(m): 2:48pm On Mar 08, 2022
Klass99:


You mean born and bred in Naija, right? I like your parents cheesy

I was born and bred here too, my parents didn't have issues either. Popsie just said pray about it and let God's will be done, then moved the conversation along to other things.

No hysterics, no drama. I love my parents.

Nowadays most parents don't really care. They already know how hard things were growing up and wouldn't wanna subject such hardship to their kids so they let their kids do whatever they want. My dad got married at my age.

2 Likes

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by Klass99(f): 2:54pm On Mar 08, 2022
cool

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by cococandy(f): 3:10pm On Mar 08, 2022
Magnoliaa:


And you know the funny thing about this, if you na actually share details about your life and what you do, they'll say you're over-compesating and projecting and seeking for attention with fancy pictures instead of focusing on you life and family.
100

1 Like

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by cococandy(f): 3:15pm On Mar 08, 2022
Acidosis:


undecided undecided
lighten up
You’ve been heckling me. So small ginger from me won’t kill you
Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by cococandy(f): 3:16pm On Mar 08, 2022
This is the perfect summary
Saintmary:
Like I implied earlier, I do not recommend for a man who has never had any kids to go for vasectomy.


Vasectomy is mostly reversible, but post reversion fertility in some rare cases is not guaranteed.



Let each gender clean up their house, men teach your fellow men to be reasonable, stop condoning bad actions.



Women, stop tearing your fellow women down, it's not pretty, it's ugly, stop being too quick to distance yourselves from your fellow women



Let's be better than our forebears, maybe, just maybe, we will leave this world a better place.

1 Like

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by cococandy(f): 3:21pm On Mar 08, 2022
tensazangetsu20:


Probably they wanted to talk about reversal. Reversal surgery is 2 million but the main one is 80k. Even 65k in some places.

Eziokwu?

I was really surprised at the cost too. Like why would it be 2m. They literally numb the sac, make a teeny tiny incision, snip and stitch. Over in 15 minutes. A few hours of ice pack later and the dude is good to go.
Anyone charging 2m for that would be the height of greed (Although it’s not impossible for that happen)

2 Likes

Re: Is It proper For Married Woman To Do Abortion? by cococandy(f): 3:25pm On Mar 08, 2022
Klass99:
Hian, Acid, Coco & Magnolia you people get time and energy, to dey debate back and forth sha!

The thread has entered seven pages now because of you guys. Carry go o, at least you have all kept it civil and entertaining.

Coco that comment about Ukraine and Putin being rascits and how Putin will have us black folks working under the sun, till our skin peels off had me LMAO grin. Nice one!

It’s true. This fight is not ours as a people.

I’m against Russian aggression ATM because nuclear warfare won’t favor me or my family at all.
But fundamentally they are the same people to me and they both view me with the same lens as a lesser being due to my dark color.

So I won’t be expending energy except to pray that it doesn’t go nuclear

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