Cruise777:



Africans tend to see alcoholics as a problem

However there are highly functional Alcoholics in the society


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Tonero5200:

You can only say this when you don't have a close family member as an alcoholic.
So definitely you have no ideal.

I wonder if you will still say African tends to see drug addicts as a problem... because to me alcoholism is even worst than a drug addict.

malcom1X:
Shows you he was the one holding that family.

What you need now is to stand on your own and gain respect.

They only respected your father because he earned their respect. The focus is now on someone else now that he's dead.

What have you done to earn their respect? You don't expect them to come and pay homage to you or seek advice from you. Or is that what you want? Move on.

Cruise777:


An Average Russian is a regular alcoholic who is dependent on Vodka... Russia don't see that as a problem because they don't constituite nuisance after taking Vodka in moderation


Irish and Scottish Men on Average Consume more Beers, Stout, Whiskey daily even Americans

Try this is Nigeria and watch people start looking at you like sinner


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Tonero5200:


Now go back and read my initial post and see if you find that bolded word there.

Kids like you who hardly understand post, just to rush and comments irritates me so much

Cruise777:


It's a forum for general discussion not your private social media and I can bet any amount you can't even stand in my presence to call me a kid

Moderation is a vague word, your moderation isn't my moderation

While I was in the Middle East everyone smoked and we took smoking break at work

In Nigeria smoking is so frowned upon

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Tonero5200:

Holding the family in terms of what?


My elder bro has been the one feeding us since he graduated 2009.

He trained me to the stage I am now, while my father was just looking, drinking.

So if you say my father was still the one holding the family I agree but you have to be specific, because from your post it seems financially but it's not.

malcom1X:


Bro I don't want to argue with you. It's your family.

My advice is for you to move on.
Things happen.

Cruise777:



Africans tend to see alcoholics as a problem

However there are highly functional Alcoholics in the society

There are people who drink regularly and still function properly and there are people who drink and constituite nuisance



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Cruise777:


It's a forum for general discussion not your private social media and I can bet any amount you can't even stand in my presence to call me a kid

Moderation is a vague word, your moderation isn't my moderation

While I was in the Middle East everyone smoked and we took smoking break at work

In Nigeria smoking is so frowned upon

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Samantha124:
Maybe if you guys were married, your relatives were still going to give you the same respect they were giving to your father because there's this respect that Africans tend to have for married couples even when they're younger.

My paternal grandparents were one of the royal leaders in the village... Even though they're not from any royal family, their friendship with the royal family was too deep and they were inseparable, when my grandfather passed away, my father was asked to come and take over the position... At first he wasn't sure about it because he doesn't live in the village anymore even though it's just a few hours drive, but he eventually accepted and he let them know that he wouldn't always be available, they understood.

When my grandmother passed away, my mom was also asked to come and take over, she'd travel to the village every now and then... And we still get invitations from our close and distant relatives, but I doubt my father was going to be treated with the same respect if he was not married.

Because even elders who are not married are not taken seriously by anyone... My uncle used to be disrespected all the time by other men before he got married to a point that he even stopped attending family events... But immediately he got married, people everywhere started to respect him.

Bintabisiriyu2:

Are you married?

Samantha124:
No!!!

Chibuzoc:
Did you guys bother to know why he choose to drink?

Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.

Here are my reasons

My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.

So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.


Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.


But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.

Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.

Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more


I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...

THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.


The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages.

Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.

Here are my reasons

My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.

So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.


Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.


But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.

Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.

Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more


I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...

THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.


The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages.

NFBI:
I hope you won't take his alcohol gulping footstep

Tonero5200:
you are so foolish for this statement

Tonero5200:
I'm so foolish for this statement

Cruise777:



Africans tend to see alcoholics as a problem

However there are highly functional Alcoholics in the society

There are people who drink regularly and still function properly and there are people who drink and constituite nuisance
your first sentence is weird



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