FRANCISTOWN:

As long as I'm concerned. I feel like my relatives need to stay off my wife's mouth. They are not play things for wordplay.

She can possibly bring about her points without comparisons with my relatives.
It's even wrong for a wife to put herself on the same level with my mom. That's disrespectful.

My wife is my wife for as long as she wants to be my wife but my ma is my ma forever.No one compares sleep to death.

From your response here, it seems your the problem and not your wife. I guess has been building up in you for long, try let somethings go and see.

UjuJoan2:


I see nothing wrong in what she said, especially if she’s right. All this grandstanding is unnecessary. She is your wife, not your slave.

If I were her I will apologize, but I will stand by what i said. Men don’t like to hear the truth, but they must. The same way you have a Mum, she also has one too. Your mum is not a GOD!

PS I am both a wife and a mother, so before you come for me know that I have a husband, I have children and I have a mother. So I can completely relate to this situation!

I don't understand. How is "don't turn my mom into a play thing" tantamount to my wife being a slave?

I don't get.

If your husband is comfortable with you using his relatives as comparative adjectives. Then that's on your husband and you, and I totally respect how you run your marriage.

But as long as I'm concerned , I won't run my home like that

FRANCISTOWN:
■ I don't understand. How is "don't turn my mom into a play thing" tantamount to my wife being a slave? I don't get. If your husband is comfortable with you using his relatives as comparative adjectives. Then that's on your husband and you, and I totally respect how you run your marriage. But as long as I'm concerned , I won't run my home like that

Ever considered that your mother though a god to you may not be a god to others? Why force your worship of her being on others who would have none of it?

This is as sick as those who go around warning others not to speak ill of their gods of men when others don't consider them gods.

Plus4you:
Few days ago my wife was angried and utterred some statements that I do not like.
The statement was that she relating an issue by using my mum
The statement was "had it been it was your mum that did that you would have find means to repay her'.
I find it offensive for uttering such a statement, I was offended immediately but I kept my calm because we are already prepared to go out.

So when we came back I informed her that I am annoyed with what she said.

Her reply was that she did nothing wrong with such a statement because she didn't insult or belittle my mum.

I told I'm not but she decided not to apologize for that.

After two days our communication has not been normal and it only greetings.

So the next day I called and discussed it with her but still stands that she isn't wrong.

We have not been in good terms since then,

Please isn't she supposed to apologise despite that I told her I don't like the statement?

This is the mistake I used to make when we first got married. You delay and say you are looking for an appropriate time to discuss it and the woman losses the point that it has taken you high control to raise the issue at a latter time. She doesn't get it. So she treats it with the mood of the moment, and even possibly gaslights you to feel sorry.

Nah. Now I have found that I am able to discharge my point with my displeasure immediately and she sees the point. The only time I withhold is when outsiders are there. Now my wife can even read my countenance and make amends

I know my wife controls me very well o, but I am grateful to God for the awesome partner that she is.

Odovwu, that's a real problem on hand when one has that kind of woman .those kind of women are special breed, quite hard but easy to handle (1) ,Give them less ATTENTION,(2) give them distance most times unless when it comes to very important and crucial matter.(3)Keep a drawn line always(4) Adjust your social life relationship with such a woman.(5)Ensure, finally; you are not a sex freek (lest she gives u the highest dose of disprespect any where).Then do not stop loving her as a husband. You must always totally ignorethatboart of her else you go carry HBP SOON !!

azidomedogo:
What some of us married men face daily. Some wife’s no dey apologize at all

Kobojunkie:

I leave you speechless? That should be a first, ain't?

Plus4you:
Few days ago my wife was angried and utterred some statements that I do not like.
The statement was that she relating an issue by using my mum
The statement was "had it been it was your mum that did that you would have find means to repay her'.
I find it offensive for uttering such a statement, I was offended immediately but I kept my calm because we are already prepared to go out.

So when we came back I informed her that I am annoyed with what she said.

Her reply was that she did nothing wrong with such a statement because she didn't insult or belittle my mum.

I told I'm not but she decided not to apologize for that.

After two days our communication has not been normal and it only greetings.

So the next day I called and discussed it with her but still stands that she isn't wrong.

We have not been in good terms since then,

Please isn't she supposed to apologise despite that I told her I don't like the statement?

weak men na just dey marry now lol sorry we will talk to her to apologise to you since it bothers you so much

Kobojunkie:
Ever considered that your mother though a god to you may not be a god to others? Why force your worship of her being on others who would have none of it?

This is as sick as those who go around warning others not to speak ill of their gods of men when others don't consider them gods.

Since you already decided how to interprete my opinion. You are welcome

ask4chigozirim:

From your response here, it seems your the problem and not your wife. I guess has been building up in you for long, try let somethings go and see.

Mind you. I'm not the OP.

FRANCISTOWN:
■ Since you already decided how to interprete my opinion. You are welcome

You have your mother and your relatives as gods. What other interpretation is there to this if not the obvious one?

jelel6:
■ I leave you speechless? That should be a first, ain't?

Not you, others who have yet to learn the sort of damage this sort of thing does to relationships.

mariahAngel:


What exactly was it about her words that offended you?

What I've observed is that you both are yet to fully understand each other.

that s not misunderstanding bro, that's the primary red flag indicating a very stubborn/disobedient wife that actually needs an iron fist..

A normal human wether male/female should first respond with ; oh I am so sorry for comparing myself with your mom....and so on and so forth until the other person would be the one explaining how he/she felt when the comparison was done....in that way the pains are gone ....before the strong knakking can set in and all of that...

Kobojunkie:
The statement isn't an insult so, OP, why exactly are you incensed by it? Is it true what your wife said?

He sees it as an insult. Mothers are demi gods that should be well respected.

nosa2ekundayo:
■ that s not misunderstanding bro, that's the primary red flag indicating a very stubborn/disobedient wife that actually needs an iron fist..
A normal human wether male/female should first respond with ; oh I am so sorry for comparing myself with your mom....and so on and so forth until the other person would be the one explaining how he/she felt when the comparison was done....in that way the pains are gone ....before the strong knakking can set in and all of that...

Your mother is your god so everyone must see and worship her as such? Do you equally worship everyone else's mother or is it just your mother that should be bowed down to?

tollyboy5:
■ He sees it as an insult. Mothers are demi gods that should be well respected.

Mothers are gods that should be worshipped by all? Do you equally worship other people's mothers or is it just your mother that should be venerated? Please no need to lie to us!

jelel6:


We can all complain about manner of approaches or our expectations for a certain level of understanding and patience from our wives and husbands, but the fact is we must be reasonable with our expectations and fulfill our own part.

If the OP (husband) is actually owing his wife money and yet to pay, it's obvious that the reason the wife made that statement was because she clearly feels the OP is not showing her enough reasons that he's trying or willing to payback. Paying her back should be his priority now (or reiterate that he's doing his best to pay back) and then be angry enough not to borrow from her again if he feels so offended by this particular statement.


Expecting someone else to act reasonably when you yourself have not acted in a dignified manner is folly and lottery at best: you get what you see and not necessarily what you bargained for

Simple scenario here. If your boss at work called you stupid, would you return the favor by calling him stupid on the grounds that the boss is being unreasonable?

Some lines should not be crossed

Kobojunkie:
You have your mother and your relatives as gods. What other interpretation is there to this if not the obvious one?

Until you show me where I have stated explicitly on this thread that my relatives are gods. This discussion is over

Plus4you:
Few days ago my wife was angried and utterred some statements that I do not like.
The statement was that she relating an issue by using my mum
The statement was "had it been it was your mum that did that you would have find means to repay her'.
I find it offensive for uttering such a statement, I was offended immediately but I kept my calm because we are already prepared to go out.

So when we came back I informed her that I am annoyed with what she said.

Her reply was that she did nothing wrong with such a statement because she didn't insult or belittle my mum.

I told I'm not but she decided not to apologize for that.

After two days our communication has not been normal and it only greetings.

So the next day I called and discussed it with her but still stands that she isn't wrong.

We have not been in good terms since then,

Please isn't she supposed to apologise despite that I told her I don't like the statement?

divorce her

Man-child

Kobojunkie:
Something tells me there may be some truth to what his wife said. That would explain why OP was particularly hit by it.

For the very first time Kobo, I agree with you. I see nothing here other than an aggrandized ego. The man is being unnecessarily petty. God knows I can't cope with such. When I really offend, I know it. For this particular one, the man go wait tire.

Kobojunkie:
Mothers are gods that should be worshipped by all? Do you equally worship other people's mothers or is it just your mother that should be venerated? Please no need to lie to us!

Tolerance, if you cant worship my mother don't compare yourself to her. Just the way people respect other people religion without being a convert you respect my mother without bringing her into unnecessary comparison.
I respect other people parent so much but as i do to my parents.

Konji never hol either of Una
All this marriage wahala sef
Nawa o
E too much

tollyboy5:
■ Tolerance, if you cant worship my mother don't compare yourself to her.
■ Just the way people respect other people religion without being a convert you respect my mother without bringing her into unnecessary comparison. I respect other people parent so much but as i do to my parents.

Clearly, from your misuse of the word, you don't understand what Tolerance is about, do you?

tol·er·ance

1. the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

2. the capacity to endure continued subjection to something, especially a drug, transplant, antigen, or environmental condition, without adverse reaction.

2. Respecting other people's right to religion does not mean you equally respect their deification of other humans. For instance, I respect a Christian but I do not consider their gods of men gods at all as openly express my disdain for the lies and deceit that they are full of.

You can't go around forcing your private deities on others expecting them to equally worship your gods. That is not tolerance or respect but lunacy!

Kobojunkie:
Clearly, from your misuse and misapplication of the word, you don't understand what Tolerance is about, do you?

2. Respecting other people's right to religion does not mean you equally respect their deification of other humans. For instance, I respect a Christian but I do not consider their gods of men gods at all as openly express my disdain for the lies and deceit that they are full of.

You can't go around forcing your private deities on others expecting them to equally worship your gods. That is not tolerance or respect but lunacy!

I need you to calm down and read with understanding.
Tolerance, religious tolerance doesn't mean you are worshiping others.
Islam regards some statement blasphemy against the prophet but don't need you to forcefully be a Muslim.
I regard comparing yourself to my mum as blasphemy but i don't need you to worship her like i do.

FRANCISTOWN:

Simple scenario here. If your boss at work called you stupid, would you return the favor by calling him stupid on the grounds that the boss is being unreasonable?

Some lines should not be crossed

The dynamics between a boss and an employee is completely different from that which (should) exist in a personal relationship between a husband and wife in a home.

if you want to excuse a man's unreasonable behaviour because it's akin to a boss in a professional setting, I guess you wouldn't expect the wife to still love, respect and trust an unreasonable fella. Because I've never heard of an employee who liked and wished well an insultive boss or superior.

tollyboy5:
■ I need you to calm down and read with understanding. Tolerance, religious tolerance doesn't mean you are worshiping others. Islam regards some statement blasphemy against the prophet but don't need you to forcefully be a Muslim.
■ I regard comparing yourself to my mum as blasphemy but i don't need you to worship her like i do.

You are not paying attention! Mohammed is just a man to me and so I freely voice my opinion of the man regardless of what those who choose to worship him think. Tolerance is about accepting that others do not have to worship or accept as worthy of worship that which you worship.

tol·er·ance

1. the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.
2. the capacity to endure continued subjection to something, especially a drug, transplant, antigen, or environmental condition, without adverse reaction.

2. Your mother is a god to you, but she is not a god to me. I would treat her the same way I treat the next man or child on my path because to me she is an ordinary human being. You need to respect people's rights even as you choose to worship whatever you wish to worship.

Kobojunkie:
What is wrong with mentioning his mother?

If OP doesn't want his mother mentioned at all in his marriage then OP should cut his mom off completely so she holds no place at all in his life and his marriage. You can't make a god out of a human being, and cause that god to feature in the lives of others around you, while expecting them not to mention the place that god occupies. It doesn't work that way.

Were ni e

FRANCISTOWN:

As long as I'm concerned. I feel like my relatives need to stay off my wife's mouth. They are not play things for wordplay.

She can possibly bring about her points without comparisons with my relatives.
It's even wrong for a wife to put herself on the same level with my mom. That's disrespectful.

My wife is my wife for as long as she wants to be my wife but my ma is my ma forever.No one compares sleep to death.

Woman are marrying sha....

ozonechrome:
■ Woman are marrying sha....

Na dem I blame for marrying all sorts of things.

Plus4you:
Few days ago my wife was angried and utterred some statements that I do not like.
The statement was that she relating an issue by using my mum
The statement was "had it been it was your mum that did that you would have find means to repay her'.
I find it offensive for uttering such a statement, I was offended immediately but I kept my calm because we are already prepared to go out.

So when we came back I informed her that I am annoyed with what she said.

Her reply was that she did nothing wrong with such a statement because she didn't insult or belittle my mum.

I told I'm not but she decided not to apologize for that.

After two days our communication has not been normal and it only greetings.

So the next day I called and discussed it with her but still stands that she isn't wrong.

We have not been in good terms since then,

Please isn't she supposed to apologise despite that I told her I don't like the statement?

And you brought it here? I reserve my comments

Kobojunkie:
You are not paying attention! Mohammed is just a man to me and so I freely voice my opinion of the man regardless of what those who choose to worship him think. Tolerance is about accepting that others do not have to worship or accept as worthy of worship that which you worship.


2. Your mother is a god to you, but she is not a god to me. I would treat her the same way I treat the next man or child on my path because to me she is an ordinary human being. You need to respect people's rights even as you choose to worship whatever you wish to worship.

You're very adamant. If my future wife would be like this, i don't think its a problem. But not disrespecting my mother in a way you know i don't like under my roof. That's a big problem.