jelel6:


The dynamics between a boss and an employee is completely different from that which (should) exist in a personal relationship between a husband and wife in a home.

jelel6:
if you want to excuse a man's unreasonable behaviour because it's akin to a boss in a professional setting, I guess you wouldn't expect the wife to still love, respect and trust an unreasonable fella. Because I've never heard of an employee who liked and wished well an insultive boss or superior.

FRANCISTOWN:

As long as I'm concerned. I feel like my relatives need to stay off my wife's mouth. They are not play things for wordplay.

She can possibly bring about her points without comparisons with my relatives.
It's even wrong for a wife to put herself on the same level with my mom. That's disrespectful.

My wife is my wife for as long as she wants to be my wife but my ma is my ma forever.No one compares sleep to death.

Plus4you:
Few days ago my wife was angried and utterred some statements that I do not like.
The statement was that she relating an issue by using my mum
The statement was "had it been it was your mum that did that you would have find means to repay her'.
I find it offensive for uttering such a statement, I was offended immediately but I kept my calm because we are already prepared to go out.

So when we came back I informed her that I am annoyed with what she said.

Her reply was that she did nothing wrong with such a statement because she didn't insult or belittle my mum.

I told I'm not but she decided not to apologize for that.

After two days our communication has not been normal and it only greetings.

So the next day I called and discussed it with her but still stands that she isn't wrong.

We have not been in good terms since then,

Please isn't she supposed to apologise despite that I told her I don't like the statement?

Plus4you:
Few days ago my wife was angried and utterred some statements that I do not like.
The statement was that she relating an issue by using my mum
The statement was "had it been it was your mum that did that you would have find means to repay her'.
I find it offensive for uttering such a statement, I was offended immediately but I kept my calm because we are already prepared to go out.

So when we came back I informed her that I am annoyed with what she said.

Her reply was that she did nothing wrong with such a statement because she didn't insult or belittle my mum.

I told I'm not but she decided not to apologize for that.

After two days our communication has not been normal and it only greetings.

So the next day I called and discussed it with her but still stands that she isn't wrong.

We have not been in good terms since then,

Please isn't she supposed to apologise despite that I told her I don't like the statement?

FRANCISTOWN:

School me brother.


So far so good. The OP hasn't said anywhere in his account that he insulted his wife. He simply borrowed some money from his wife(somethin I'd rather I die than doing) which he is in a bit of rack to pay back.

The wife being so unreasonable decided it was time to get her money not considering whether the husband got it or not.

In my own case.If anyone was being unreasonable then it should be the wife.

For the records. Women don't love and trust their husbands. Women are only with men for their own sake and not for their husbands sake.

I prefer to be feared than to be loved/trusted/respected

Munzy14:

The wife is protesting, and her protest is masked with resentment.

Just like when a man asked something from his wife, she come act, then if hubby makes a statement like " Had it been I am your Dad asking for this, will you say no".

Thats resentment and totally uncalled for.

She has poured cold water in whatever that is fanning their union flame, without feeling remorse. TIME WILL TELL.

Soon hubby will start seeing her as another man(competition), then church agbasaa..

Plus4you:
Few days ago my wife was angried and utterred some statements that I do not like.
The statement was that she relating an issue by using my mum
The statement was "had it been it was your mum that did that you would have find means to repay her'.
I find it offensive for uttering such a statement, I was offended immediately but I kept my calm because we are already prepared to go out.

So when we came back I informed her that I am annoyed with what she said.

Her reply was that she did nothing wrong with such a statement because she didn't insult or belittle my mum.

I told I'm not but she decided not to apologize for that.

After two days our communication has not been normal and it only greetings.

So the next day I called and discussed it with her but still stands that she isn't wrong.

We have not been in good terms since then,

Please isn't she supposed to apologise despite that I told her I don't like the statement?

Kobojunkie:
Apologize for voicing an insult-free opinion that may even contain elements of the truth? Are women not allowed to voice their opinions in what is their marriage as well?

FRANCISTOWN:

All I'm saying is. If a woman's raised in a good home, and had imbibed virtues of wifehood from her mom.
She should understand that she should never place herself on the same level as her mother in-law.
I'd never put myself in the same note with my mother in-law. It's pretty disgraceful, I mean. She' been there since day one. No matter how good I am to my woman, she's still have secrets with her mom.
So this is not emotional blackmailing, this is pure truth.
You lot disrespect your husband a lot, and don't worry, your sons will suffer the same faith.
If you have some outstandings with your boss, and you hear he goes on to buy a new ride for himself. Will you ever go on to confront him or reference his mother? At least he is owing you too. You really can't do that

You women respect your bosses/pastors/imams/celebrities online more than y'all respect your husbands which is very wrong. I repeat again. Ain't no woman of mine gon' bring my relatives into our discussion.

MASTAkiLLAh:
if you could not caution her immediately she made that comment then, there's nothing you can do again. You knew her character before you married her and you also know that marriage and especially women no be beans for men and you're not expected to win all arguments. For peace to reign, go and apologize to your wife for keeping malice with her and when she forgives you, kiss her passionately and tell her never to mention your mother in that way again, pause small then laugh. She'll be confused but careful next time

FRANCISTOWN:

School me brother.


So far so good. The OP hasn't said anywhere in his account that he insulted his wife. He simply borrowed some money from his wife(somethin I'd rather I die than doing) which he is in a bit of rack to pay back.

The wife being so unreasonable decided it was time to get her money not considering whether the husband got it or not.

In my own case.If anyone was being unreasonable then it should be the wife.

For the records. Women don't love and trust their husbands. Women are only with men for their own sake and not for their husbands sake.

I prefer to be feared than to be loved/trusted/respected

Acidosis:
When a woman says "had it been it was your mom", "had it been it was your sister", "had it been...", bla bla bla, trust me, she already resents your family.

You don't have to believe me. Just wait for the signs. Don't just demand an apology. An apology would not fix resentment. You have a bigger problem on your hands if you don't handle this carefully and with maturity.

Kobojunkie:
Clearly, from your misuse and misapplication of the word, you don't understand what Tolerance is about, do you?


2. Respecting other people's right to religion does not mean you equally respect their deification of other humans. For instance, I respect a Christian but I do not consider their gods of men gods at all as openly express my disdain for the lies and deceit that they are full of.

You can't go around forcing your private deities on others expecting them to equally worship your gods. That is not tolerance or respect but lunacy!

FRANCISTOWN:

I'm talking about my wife, not your wife.
Your wife can say whatever she likes to you, or your relatives. That's your cup of tea and it has nothing to do with me.
What I know is, ain't no wife of mine gon' speak to my relative disrespectfully. That's not my world.

EleventhWeirdo:


Your own thinking is often off track. You need to understand that people have their sensitivities that they would like others to respect. Call it weakness or whatever. If the guy doesn't want his mom referenced or used as a topic during a discord, why can't the wife respect that? The only problem would be if the man does that to others' moms but doesn't tolerate that. Being spouses doesn't mean you have the right to every bit of my existence. No, marraige itself is contractual and dealings in it must be consensual!

FRANCISTOWN:

Yes! I take life too seriously.
For how long do you think you can take life as a joke?
The side of life that I've seen got me really on my toes.

@2. That's a very good one. Your wife shouldn't know stuff about your relative, to avoid see finish

mariahAngel:


They should sort themselves out.
Nobody should stress me with their issues this Christmas season.

Nicepoker:
Let's see your pre wedding pictures.

pocohantas:
If you like, make una fight enter street like my neighbours. When e scatter, your body go calm. The rest of us would learn from your case, move on and tolerate our own partners.

Kobojunkie:
So you apologize to everyone who says you are wrong even when you are certain you have done nothing wrong?

No wonder Nigerians are ever ready with excuses for the corruption in the country.

Gmajor:
■ There is a difference between your spouse and every other person.
If your spouse say that this thing you said is offensive, you should apologize when if you don't see it as such

Kobojunkie:
A spouse that has to walk on shells around you is in a situation that is worse than that of a paid house help..

madridguy:
My heart aches reading stories like this and I begin to ask myself who exactly is raising weak men like this?

Nigeria men are fast lossing their right as an Africa man and very soon, our women will be chasing men out of their house just like the whites.

UmmuFarrah:

No be small thing 🤣. Everybody na oga patapata for Nairaland.

Kobojunkie:
What is wrong with mentioning his mother?

If OP doesn't want his mother mentioned at all in his marriage then OP should cut his mom off completely so she holds no place at all in his life and his marriage . You can't make a god out of a human being, and cause that god to feature in the lives of others around you, while expecting them not to mention the place that god occupies. It doesn't work that way.

Plus4you:
Few days ago my wife was angried and utterred some statements that I do not like.
The statement was that she relating an issue by using my mum
The statement was "had it been it was your mum that did that you would have find means to repay her'.
I find it offensive for uttering such a statement, I was offended immediately but I kept my calm because we are already prepared to go out.

So when we came back I informed her that I am annoyed with what she said.

Her reply was that she did nothing wrong with such a statement because she didn't insult or belittle my mum.

I told I'm not but she decided not to apologize for that.

After two days our communication has not been normal and it only greetings.

So the next day I called and discussed it with her but still stands that she isn't wrong.

We have not been in good terms since then,

Please isn't she supposed to apologise despite that I told her I don't like the statement?

ogawisdom:


She really has nothing to apologize for. I think you should watch your over sized ego before you destroy your marriage.

She should be free to express herself Biko. How can a woman be well educated and not be allowed to express an opinion in 2023.

You have scolded her and expressed displeasure at what she said and that is enough. Move on