When a couple is married for a long time, life becomes almost a cliché. Same things being done at the same time everyday. How do we avoid this?

Note that sometimes, routine is one of those things that kill sexual desire towards your partner.

So what can we do to keep our marriages exciting?

Add pepper & salt to spice it up!

Cheat like once every 6 months!!!!!

@ Babe

I don't want to make it too exciting.

You know just the little enough to keep it fun!

Babeelove, i will pretend you never said that, " cheat once in 6 months"

ClimieNH89:

@ Babe

I don't want to make it too exciting.

You know just the little enough to keep it fun!

Please do you have any better suggestions?  I am listening.

$$Rhino:

Babeelove, i will pretend you never said that, " cheat once in 6 months"

Please, is that too long a time?  We can re-shape the paremeters a tad---like every 3 months.  Just let us know how you want it.  I don talk ma own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you mean you would allow your husband to cheat on you once in six months and you wont go to your pastor and tell the pastor to rain fire on his head?

$$Rhino:

you mean you would allow your husband to cheat on you once in six months and you wont go to your pastor and tell the pastor to rain fire on his head?

Let's just say what holds us together is greater than what divides us.  Each party has a clear understanding of what the "time" is.  I believe in "group therapy" or what is called realistic maturation. It is no fun playing by yourselves all the time.  You know that even when you are in kindagarten.  I am not the jealous type and I like to let people do what they want to do as long as I have the same privileges.  So there is never a fighting moment since no one feels trapped.  It is good to be "great friends"!!!!


_{You can only stare at one dish for so long, no matter how appetizing-----------my life is not that boring!}



That is why the divorce rate is so high around the world---having unrealistic expectations of marriage.  What most people do not understand is that you start enjoying your marriage after you have "done" it all and there is nothing else to do----------like say----at your 50th anniversary---like my mom and dad!!!!!  I learned well from both players. It was sheer fun withnessing all their "escapades" and boy did they get caught!!!!!!!!!!! He he he he he he he . We still have some good "family" jokes about those days. They still stayed together and were fun to be with.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, i am not sure if i can agree with that sha.
I do understand that sometimes, stuff like that might make u to appreciate what you have more, howewer, there is no laughing at such later oh, i just cant see myself laughing about it, i could forgive her, but not laugh about it, no freaking way.
If you so much blv in such cheating, why the marriage then, why cant we just remain single and catching our fun, iu so much blv that we africans have attched too much big deal to marriage, sometimes, being single is no crime and more fun

$$Rhino:

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, i am not sure if i can agree with that sha.
I do understand that sometimes, stuff like that might make u to appreciate what you have more, howewer, there is no laughing at such later oh, i just can't see myself laughing about it, i could forgive her, but not laugh about it, no freaking way.
If you so much blv in such cheating, why the marriage then, why can't we just remain single and catching our fun, iu so much blv that we africans have attched too much big deal to marriage, sometimes, being single is no crime and more fun

Not to worry me dear! You will find what works for you. I have found my "spicey formula"---- Goodluck buddy! I am not trying to convince you. Hope you get your heart's desire.

And if i dont, i will have to put the car into neutral, then into reverse and think about what you just said oh

he he he he he he!!!!! It's all good! The bottom line is that you are satisfied with your decisions and you can sleep well at night with a very fulfilled conscience.

BABEELOVE

na wa o

u jus post that pishur make all the small girls for here

know wetin dey happen


But you for hide that ring o

That is the equivalent of

BEWARE OF DOGS

doyin13:

BABEELOVE

na wa o

u jus post that pishur make all the small girls for here

know wetin dey happen


But you for hide that ring o

That is the equivalent of

BEWARE OF DOGS

I dey hide am?

That is why there are girls and then there are women!!!!!!!!!!! Dog no dey bite!   I go soon put the "chief dog" own pishur for thia too------na dangerous "ones" like you naim I dey avoid !!!!!!!!!!!!

it would be nice to say things that make marriages spicey in response to the question and not make a fun of the whole thing.

I think its all about thinking of how you can make the other person happier each day, rendering a little more help and changing certain responses for the better examples, appreciating the other person, better sexual response, trying a different kind of meal, do some things you never did before, make memorable impact on your love, give surprises like sending a love pack to him using a postmaster, just think of them.

Attention has got the hang of it.
U just need to remember small off the smaller things and never take your partner for granted.
You already know what your spouse likes so go ahead and do stuff that'll blow their minds everyone once in a while.

Not every other week or it'll become stale quick.
Dats my own 2cents.

to make the marriage spicy!

both of you should take a day off and bring your boyfriends/girlfriends and have an orgy

that is just what i think

A MUST READ FOR ALL MARRIED COUPLES AND AN EYE- OPENER FOR THE YET to…


When I got home that night as my wife served dinner,
I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell
you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I
didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her
know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised
the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she
asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This
made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and
shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we
didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could h ardly give her a satisfactory answer; she
had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I
did'nt love her anymore.I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce
agreement which stated that she could own our house,
our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The
woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had
become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time,
resources and energy but I could not take back what I
had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried
loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected
to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her
writing something at the table. I did'nt have supper
but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast
because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table
writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was
asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions:
she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's
notice before the divorce. She requested that in that
one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as
possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his
exams in a months time and she did'nt want to disrupt
him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more,
she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out
bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I
carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever
morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to
make our last days together bearable I accepted her
odd request.

I told Dew ab out my wife s divorce conditions. She
laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter
what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce,
she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my
divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I
carried her out on the first day, we both appeared
clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of
pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to
the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my
arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell
our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat
upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to
wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.


On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.
She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of
her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this
woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was
not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her
face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its
toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done
to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a
sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who
had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth
and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy
was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It
became easier to carry her as the month slipped by.
Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried
on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable
one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown
bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more
easily.
Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain and
bitter ness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time
to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying
his mother out had become an essential part of his
life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and
hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I
was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute.
I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,
through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her
body tightly, it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last
day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a
step. Our son had gone to school.
I held her tightly and said, I had'nt noticed that our
life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly
without locking the door. I was afra id any delay would
make me change my mind, I walked upstairs. Dew
opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do
not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my
forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her
hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't
divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because
she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not
because we didn't love each other any more. Now I
realise that since I carried her into my home on our
wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do
us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me
a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into
tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of
flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to
write on the card. I smiled and
wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do< BR>us apart.
The small details of your lives are what really matter
in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car,
property , the money in the bank, blah, blah, blah.
These create an environment conducive for happiness
but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time
to be your spouse's friend and do those little things
for each other that
build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you,
but if you do, you
just might save a marriage.

- Author unknown

Touching but very nice story

I presume that majority of the audience on Nairaland are young

Many are not yet married

The few that may be married are relatively very young at it

So how could we begin to propose solutions to issues we have either not practiced or are very young at?

I suggest you try old people's homes, your parents, your parents' mates or seasoned marriage counselors who must be old at it

This group will at least not tell you text-book solutions!!!

@ Loads

You have done a good job by pasting this post here. I believe you will save a lot marriage, unlike our beloved lady who think cheating will make it spicey.
I bet she is heading for the rock. I wish her marriage R-I-P courtesy of her spice.

@ previous comment.
@loads, very nice piece!!!!


well i think its kinda hard to be in something for long, BUT its not unattainable especially if both parties work very hard at keepin what they`ve got really!!!!

Keep on lovin yourselfs and once in a while cheat.

kemd:

Keep on lovin yourselfs and once in a while cheat.

This na the kain tin wey me like to hear!  Realistic stuff!!!!! Once in a while oh!  Not asking for much!!!!

How one babe or one guy go look one partner for 40 days and 40 nights!!!!   That na super fasting oh!!!!  I no get that kain power oh!

dj4wealth:

@ Loads

You have done a good job by pasting this post here. I believe you will save a lot marriage, unlike our beloved lady who think cheating will make it spicey.
I bet she is heading for the rock. I wish her marriage R-I-P courtesy of her spice.

We don hear!!!! We shall see who's will hit the rocks first!!!! Na you sabi oh!!!!

Ol bob astrology na my field

I am always in search of stars

so my own no dey finish

The lord make the universe well

SHag more
Thats the solution

marriages get sour because the parties no longer do the romantic things they do when they were courting thinking they have reached thier final busstop, sooner or later they start wondering how they actually arrived at marrying the partner in question.

marry your friend cos when the love fades the friendship will still be there
be romantic and dont pretend under any guise
behave like teenagers to one another and give room for childish and rough play
always send text messages and call each other at work
drop love notes all around for one another
dont be stereotyped in the things u do together add flavor to the relationship
work towards pleasing one another and satisfying each other
explore the world all round
dont let the children take the place of the spouse
let true and genuine love reign in ur home
work towards making ur marriage work and it will workout the way u want it to

_{so much to say but then, make do with this}

Leave home for a while and when coming back, buy somethging nice for your spouse.

@ bimbliss, very nice piece there really,
i totally concur with not lettin the kids take the place of ur man!!!!!

Keep loving your wife, fun playing and other romantic plays can spice it up.
to the unmarried pray for God to give u a lady u love and would love you all the days of your live.

I think variety should be added to everydays life, couples should live more as friends, pray together,share each others secrets, hang out more often, celebrate anniversay together, learn to say sorry, respect each others opinion. More,

Come home to your apartment one day, and dash quickly to your partner and do the blink any where any how, this can also spice the bond