Ujujoan:
So all these grammar is because she fried egg in your kithcen

What if she took a shower in your bathroom . . . or had 3ex on your bedroom . . . or shited in your toilet

Seriously, una get energy.

aisha2:


Na Police, Civil defence, mopol and 21 guard brigade go seperate that fight be that lol.



You said its a cultural thing then proceeded to assume for the whole of Nigeria. Am from the North, food is no biggie we dont distrust people with pot of soups people can fo into the kitchen and take food because its just food, shi-t in four hours.

bukatyne:


@bolded,

I think it is a culture thing

No right thinking Yoruba person would enter another person's kitchen without permission (except she/he is on a mission to cause trouble).

It might not be a biggie in other cultures.

damiso:


That's true sha..I guess we all see things differently. Which is kinda my point that we dont that see it as nothing or don't mind people helping themselves in the kitchen(I dont even see it as MY KITCHEN like that just a place food gets made) thinking we are better than those that mind.We all see and process things differently. We have a family friend that hubby calls his 1st wife and they joke that I am an usurper I don't see it as anything but I have a friend who will not find it funny in the least.Does not mean I am a better person or that she is necessarily insecure.

CC I thought this was tales by moonlighy naa
Me I was not talking about this case o just manners generally.i will give an example I try to encourage my kids to eat more fruit and veg so my fruit bowl is always full with a variety of fruits and they just go and help themselves. Every other thing they have to ask (cos most times they can't reach sef )..So my son who is 2 goes to his godmother for 2 days.We are quite close and he is very used to her.He does the same thing he does at home which is just go to the fruit bowl in the kitchen and get apples etc.The nit picker or indecisive 2 yr old that he is he realises he does not like green apples (I buy the red ones) and throws a barely eaten one in the bin.Goes back helps himself to another one. and throughout the day as for some reason he does not like how they make their noodles .

She is someone I am quite free with and I know there was no malice when she told me that o needed to let him know that he has to ask people before taking stuff esp in other people's houses maybe not necessarily her house as other people's houses or when he goes to school.I did not think to myself 'because of apple apple that I have loads of in my house' I took it in good faith that I probably kinda overlooked that cos I felt he wss just 2 and also because he was with me alot from being a baby unlike his sister. I then told him to ask aunty or mummy before he helped himself to fruits (he still does it occasionally but with time and we emphasising it he will stop).

That's more my point and not the peculiarities of this case (abi is it tale )

mutter:


I am a woman! Honestly I can`t understand why it has suddenly become an issue here on Nairaland.

soulglo:


This has nothing to do with "kitchen power". It's common courtesy. Is the guest a child? If she had a baby that needed a bottle and maybe she needed to heat it up or the host slept until 1pm and she had children to feed, or she is diabetic and has to eat at specific times etc then exceptions can be made. I can never walk into a hosts kitchen to help myself to anything if I have not been invited to do so. It is rude. You're opening up cabinets, rummaging through the refrigerator etc. It's a gross invasion of my privacy. If this was a wife or partner that the couple had a long standing relationship with then it's a different story. This was a girlfriend that they had never met. Her comment about the man not getting a hotel room further proves that she has no manners whatsoever.

ileobatojo:



Exactly. The girl is a stank ghetto hoodrat. A real omo alata. As far as I'm concerned madam should not apologize to her.

If anything they should all be apologizing to madam for cornering her into allowing the man and his random bed mate spend a night in their home.

And I don't give a crap who uses my kitchen either. In fact I tell guests right off the bat to feel free and help themselves.

freecocoa:
She might be ghetto but the madam of the house is condescending.

ileobatojo:



Exactly. The girl is a stank ghetto hoodrat. A real omo alata. As far as I'm concerned madam should not apologize to her.

If anything they should all be apologizing to madam for cornering her into allowing the man and his random bed mate spend a night in their home.

And I don't give a crap who uses my kitchen either. In fact I tell guests right off the bat to feel free and help themselves.

soulglo:


LMAO Please what does Alata mean

ileobatojo:


Omo alata means pepper seller (direct translation). But really means an uncouth, badly behaved and razz person (typically female).

Ewuro4:
Damiso so I have to ask for permission prior to opening your fridge for a drink because I'm a guest?? And you're mixing kids manners with adults'.

Also, don't get my story wrong here, we were close enough with that family so it wasn't the case of boundary , I chose not to rummage thru their shelves because I was 1) just furious and 2) didn't want to wake her because I and my family would NOT eat her meals if she made anything that morning , and we slept in hotel that night. I just couldnt stand her. She's a very very bad host. When you invite people into your homes, expect your toilet to be clogged to say the worst.

ileobatojo:


I'm 100% sure no female on this thread would do any of what this side chick girl did.

freecocoa:
I don't know about that

freecocoa:
I don't know about that, plus that's not even really the point here

moreeni:
I wouldn't have found it funny at all. It has happened to me before in my bf's house with a friend's girl too. I kept quiet but my expression could murder. Lucky for me I wasn't married to him, I just a cooked up a story to leave that day. Left and refused to step back until the guy changed the cooking pots! That was my punishment for him

ileobatojo:


Honestly, I would really like to hear from any female here who can do the same thing. You are someone's side chick/bed mate, even ordinary girlfriend sef not fiancee. And your bf takes you to spend a night in his married friend's home who you've never met (that's bad enough) and then the next morning, you wake up and start rummaging through their kitchen.



Actually, that is the point IMO. If we can understand why we ourselves would not do what the girl did, we can understand the madam's irritation. Might we handle it differently? Perhaps, but I personally will not judge the madam harshly given the whole scenario. The girl should not have been in their house in the first place and madam was cornered into letting them stay.

cococandy:
you mean you wouldn't cook with the pots because another lady touched them?

moreeni:


I meant it as a punishment to him. Had no problem using them but just felt like biasching about the whole episode. It never repeated itself.

moreeni:


I meant it as a punishment to him. Had no problem using them but just felt like biasching about the whole episode. It never repeated itself.

freecocoa:
I just wouldn't have replied her in that manner, if she already gave me an attitude the previous night, and we had that encounter in the morning, I'll totally snub her, go tell my guest and have him sort it out with her, he can apologize for me snubbing her but I won't, she has to understand that she can't be rude to me and expect me bow to her because it's her house, the highest she can do is throw me out, which I wouldn't even wait for. I'm sure the madam was rude when she saw the girl in the kitchen, you don't give off rudeness and expect respect, not me anyways.

The madam set the tone of this conversation, you just met someone and you already concluded, she looked at you somehow,ow did you know what she was thinking in 10 seconds of meeting her?,that's too petty please, like how old is the madam?

ileobatojo:


First of all, this is all an assumption, it doesn't say anywhere in the story that the madam was rude to her. Actually, the story told us the girl was the one giving madam rude looks. Second, if the madam was really rude to her, isn't it more reason for her to stay in her own lane? Afterall, she is still in the madam's house, not her's.

freecocoa:
Ofcourse it's all assumptions, we are trying to explore all possible angles with what the OP said, I haven't said anything that couldn't have happened if this story were real, if the madam could assume "she gave me one kind look" without speaking to the girl

ileobatojo:


But how do you know the madam assumed she gave her one kind look? Why are you so sure it was an assumption? Is it impossible for the girl to have given the madam a look? Why discount the madam's report, assume otherwise and conclude based on your assumption?

freecocoa:
No, one one gives someone they just met barely 10 seconds "one kind look". Unless you are saying, the girl had a beef with madam, madam couldn't have noticed "one kind look" if she didn't already see the girl as beneath her, prolly thinking she would have met the girl if she mattered to the dude,if otherwise, she wouldn't have addressed the lady in the manner she did in the recount, it is just too obvious, don't go assuming, you have to be sure, before concluding, I'm assuming here because the madam, assumed first.

What if what madam interpreted as "one kind look" is the girl's 'adjusting look', what if she had "anya half past four"?, I know I've heard people say to me "why you dey eye na" when I wasn't eyeing them, looks can be misread, if she was nice to the lady, the lady wouldn't have replied her rudely.

C

mutter:
For you to come here and ask this question you obviously are not comfortable with the situation.

The home belongs to both you and your husband.
The girl was there indirectly on the invitation of your husband.
If you respected your husbands friend you would not have abused the girl.
If you respected your husband enough, you would not have abused the friend by abusing the girl.

So now you see that mentioning you have a baby - interprets- He had the nerve to bring a girl into a decent house.
Mentioning she did not greet - means you expected her to show you respect.. Which is also okay.

But you could have acted matured. When two people come in together you greet them together. I just don`t understand how you greeted one and then there was this gap in time before greeting the other person to even look at her face. She might have seen the look on your face and reacted that way. Without knowing it your face might have betrayed you.

If she was preparing eggs, she just wanted to help by preparing food for everyone. It is very possible that the friend asked her to do so feeling he was close to your husband. Maybe they wanted to make up for the cold entrance the night before. However you were not patient enough to find out. The truth is that if you had hit it of with her the day before you would have thanked her for helping, even if you found it odd.

For you to insult her was absolutely wrong. You should have ignored it and played the friendly hostess. If you could not ignore, you should have spoken to your to your husband. It was his duty to clear the issue since they came to the house through him. Likewise should be the case if you bring someone to the home who does something that upsets him.

You got to understand the girl was just his bedmate but to the girl she was his everything

This is such a nasty comment!
This is clearly a girl that wants to get married. You now insult a fellow woman this way! Bringing us women down!
Anyway if she wants a serious relationship she needed to have been on her best behavior, but this tread is about you and not her.

Finally you made peace with your husband but that is not the end. Forgiven is not forgotten and one day he will remind you of this. Especially considering you did not apologize to the girl.
That apology to the girl is not because she did not deserve the insult. That apology is for insulting your husband`s guest.
If you were working in a hotel for a salary would you insult a rude guest!
Why then in your home that is more precious would you insult your husbands guest.

What happens when and if the man marries the girl?
That means the relationship between two friends would be strained because of the silly misunderstanding.
So my advice to you is to apologize the next time you see the girl. Invite them over for diner or find a way of arranging the meeting. Your husband will respect you the more for it.

You have opened the PANDORA`S BOX- Just wait and see what comes out of this reaction. Whenever you have visitors in the future you might find your husband a changed man .






you are a wise and matured thinking woman

any of my female guest brought in by my husband's frnd , can help herself in the kitchen ,either she is d bedmate to my husband's frnd or fiancee, whichever way...all i need 2 do, is place the stew and soup, locked up in the fridge , then she can cook whatever she likes, at least i wouldnt need 2 bother my head about their meal for that morning.. acting like rivals is unnecessary when shes not even one.. some women can be petty, sha.

bukatyne:


I don't understand your story

You were in the position of madam in This story?