Fellow Nairalander's please I need urgent help...who know of any human right activist in port harcourt? My dad is being abusive and threatens to kill my mum and I. He is being really violent and I fear he will fulfil his threat soon.... He has severally try to strangle my mum... Please, help its a matter of life and death.

Pls explain more and try get help within yourself

Call your Mum's siblings and family members quickly.
They are in the best position to help,that is if they aren't tired of wading into their issues cos I suspect his abuse didn't start recently

Report him to the nearest army barrack, Dem go beat sense enter him head

Act fast before its too late.

Can't you just leave the house with your mum for the main time? Don't act like a kid, act like an adult. Be far from him.

We've left the house now...called my mums siblings they said they are coming but I don't expect them soon cos they stay far. Called my dads elder bro but nothing he can do cos him and my dad are not in good terms... We are out of the house and he said none of us are entering his house even if God comes down... I'm really scared

Oh, not again. Pls try make plans between now and saturday to fine someone trustworthy to stay with. That should be step 1

Then ensure you dont ever stay alone in his presence. You can arrange with friend for accompany. This is jst for safety. Then explain more, so those ready to help can help salvage with their advice.

enoqueen:
Act fast before its too late.

What should I do? I don't want to call police for him...I just want protection for my mum

daveP:
Oh, not again. Pls try make plans between now and saturday to fine someone trustworthy to stay with. That should be step 1

Then ensure you dont ever stay alone in his presence. You can arrange with friend for accompany. This is jst for safety. Then explain more, so those ready to help can help salvage with their advice.

I'm not properly dressed to even go out....I'm still wearing my night wear and wrapper..currently at my neighbours place but he doesn't know where I am...mum went to church

Maybe its time to call the police.

I don't want to pour the entire story here, it wasn't today it started. If anyone can help me, I'll be very grateful and will tell you everything through pm.

redgem:


I'm not properly dressed to even go out....I'm still wearing my night wear and wrapper..currently at my neighbours place but he doesn't know where I am...mum went to church

hmm. I jst hope you arent going back there? If you do, go with a strong person. But please sit down and let concerned family members discuss it amicably on the next line of action

cc: Caracta

I see you don't want to involve the police. .. is there anyone your dad respects who you could approach to talk to him? Maybe your pastor, his mum, dad, or whoever?

Besides, hope your mum isn't verbally abusive? ? Also, why is your dad resenting you? Hope you haven't taken sides with your mum and insulted him??
Just want to know what may hv caused your dad to behave this way...

quote author=redgem post=32804292]Fellow nairalanders I need your advice, I'm currently having issues with my dad now... I'm 21 and just graduated last year after my graduation, I wanted to work and acquire a skill but my dad refused me to work, he said that there's still time, I should wait till after my Nysc and masters that, so many jobs will find me...and guess what? He wants me to spend my entire day at home doing nothing. I've been at home for months now and I'm tired. Most times I feel like running away. He still sees me as a kid and I need to let him know that, I'm no longer a child, I'm a grown woman who needs to be exposed to the outside world. I need advice on how to settle the issue, I know nysc is closeby but, I need him to know that I'm not a child and atleast, I should be able to make some decisions myself. If its even possible, I would love to stay alone or with a roommate after service.

I think your getting your mum in the middle of your issues with you dad and probably your mum is on your side , and your dad can't stand it.


A lot of assumptions on my part. You are the one hiding while mummy went to church.

There was a reason behind that post but didn't want to share it....it was because of this issue of my dad physically abusing my mum that made me say so. I hate talking bad about him and wouldn't want to tarnish his image cos he is still my dad. Said that because, I got a job in lag through a friend and was thinking of relocating to stay with her so that I can make my own money and be able to take care of her. I love my mum so much and wouldn't want to loss her. The issue between my mum and dad started when I was a child, then I and my siblings would be at a corner and cry while he beats her, my mum didn't want to leave the house cos we were still little to be without a mum. My mum is very quite, gentle and a strong Christian, I remember when I do sleep with her and she doesn't sleep cos she's always praying. She always told me to be prayerful that its not something normal then...

VintageCocktail

MarvellousGod:
I see you don't want to involve the police. .. is there anyone your dad respects who you could approach to talk to him? Maybe your pastor, his mum, dad, or whoever?

Besides, hope your mum isn't verbally abusive? ? Also, why is your dad resenting you? Hope you haven't taken sides with your mum and insulted him??
Just want to know what may hv caused your dad to behave this way...

I don't know of any...I've called my uncle but dad didn't listen to him.
My mum is very quite, she doesn't talk and I've never insulted my dad. When i try to stop him from hitting her he attacks me. He even threatened my siblings that if any of them should stop him, he will stop training them

VintageCocktail:
quote author=redgem post=32804292]Fellow nairalanders I need your advice, I'm currently having issues with my dad now... I'm 21 and just graduated last year after my graduation, I wanted to work and acquire a skill but my dad refused me to work, he said that there's still time, I should wait till after my Nysc and masters that, so many jobs will find me...and guess what? He wants me to spend my entire day at home doing nothing. I've been at home for months now and I'm tired. Most times I feel like running away. He still sees me as a kid and I need to let him know that, I'm no longer a child, I'm a grown woman who needs to be exposed to the outside world. I need advice on how to settle the issue, I know nysc is closeby but, I need him to know that I'm not a child and atleast, I should be able to make some decisions myself. If its even possible, I would love to stay alone or with a roommate after service.

I'm at home because I don't attend same fellowship with mum, she attends deeper life and I attend redeem

redgem:
There was a reason behind that post but didn't want to share it....it was because of this issue of my dad physically abusing my mum that made me say so. I hate talking bad about him and wouldn't want to tarnish his image cos he is still my dad. Said that because, I got a job in lag through a friend and was thinking of relocating to stay with her so that I can make my own money and be able to take care of her. I love my mum so much and wouldn't want to loss her. The issue between my mum and dad started when I was a child, then I and my siblings would be at a corner and cry while he beats her, my mum didn't want to leave the house cos we were still little to be without a mum. My mum is very quite, gentle and a strong Christian, I remember when I do sleep with her and she doesn't sleep cos she's always praying. She always told me to be prayerful that its not something normal then...

VintageCocktail

Then turn a blind eye as usual and pray.......what can I say, her religious conviction won't allow her to leave her matrimonial home rather pray , submit and endure. It's good your mum's relations are now aware.

Live your life but don't take what is happening in your family at the norm.


Honestly I am speechless.

OP a month ago you were just 21, just graduated and staying with your dad

redgem:
Fellow nairalanders I need your advice, I'm currently having issues with my dad now... I'm 21 and just graduated last year after my graduation, I wanted to work and acquire a skill but my dad refused me to work, he said that there's still time, I should wait till after my Nysc and masters that, so many jobs will find me...and guess what? He wants me to spend my entire day at home doing nothing. I've been at home for months now and I'm tired. Most times I feel like running away. He still sees me as a kid and I need to let him know that, I'm no longer a child, I'm a grown woman who needs to be exposed to the outside world. I need advice on how to settle the issue, I know nysc is closeby but, I need him to know that I'm not a child and atleast, I should be able to make some decisions myself. If its even possible, I would love to stay alone or with a roommate after service.

Today you are with your husband who beats you

So whats the real story

redgem:
There was a reason behind that post but didn't want to share it....it was because of this issue of my dad physically abusing my mum that made me say so. I hate talking bad about him and wouldn't want to tarnish his image cos he is still my dad. Said that because, I got a job in lag through a friend and was thinking of relocating to stay with her so that I can make my own money and be able to take care of her. I love my mum so much and wouldn't want to loss her. The issue between my mum and dad started when I was a child, then I and my siblings would be at a corner and cry while he beats her, my mum didn't want to leave the house cos we were still little to be without a mum. My mum is very quite, gentle and a strong Christian, I remember when I do sleep with her and she doesn't sleep cos she's always praying. She always told me to be prayerful that its not something normal then...

VintageCocktail

Take d job

Let her chill somewhere then the elders will handle it

MarvellousGod:
I see you don't want to involve the police. .. is there anyone your dad respects who you could approach to talk to him? Maybe your pastor, his mum, dad, or whoever?

Besides, hope your mum isn't verbally abusive? ? Also, why is your dad resenting you? Hope you haven't taken sides with your mum and insulted him??
Just want to know what may hv caused your dad to behave this way...

Is There any 'verbal' worth killing someone?

redgem:
We've left the house now...called my mums siblings they said they are coming but I don't expect them soon cos they stay far. Called my dads elder bro but nothing he can do cos him and my dad are not in good terms... We are out of the house and he said none of us are entering his house even if God comes down... I'm really scared

What do you want to enter the house for?

Is There anywhere you both can chill temporarily?

bukatyne:

What do you want to enter the house for?
Is There anywhere you both can chill temporarily?

Yes, my uncle's (dad's elder brother) place.

What exactly is the problem? You understand your dad more than we do. Is it a temper issue and would he calm down enough to approach him later?

It appears your dad is not in good terms with his family members. Any reason for that?

There is something about this story that I don't get.

All in all, be strong for your mum. Don't go back home until the coast is clear.

@daveP Thanks.

redgem:

Yes, my uncle's (dad's elder brother) place.

Stay There for now

bukatyne:



Is There any 'verbal' worth killing someone?

Did I say that?

I eventually called the police since no one could calm him down but, I didn't call them to arrest him, I called them to help talk to him which they did. Thank God, finally we are inside but I pray it doesn't continue tomorrow even though I know it will. But to let peace reign even though we did nothing wrong, I and my mum will go on our knees to beg him...

Thank you all for your advice and support...
I love you all

Get out of that house, take your siblings with you.

Get out of that house, take your siblings with you.

Get out of that house, take your siblings with you.

You will never beg your father enough. This is not your fault or your mother's fault. He has been doing this since you were young, so why do you think it is still your mum's fault or your fault?

Some men and women have demons that you cannot fix. You are not supposed to fix them, stay away. An abusive person doesn't change because of any prayers. I know too many women and men in your situation, you staying there will help nothing, think of your siblings and think what your mum has taught them that it is acceptable.

Everyone has a temper but abusive people justify their lack of control, weakness and need to hurt people with that fact. It is not normal.

Leave that house or bury someone in the future. And btw, children from abusive homes never come out right without help. Better a separated home than an abusive home.

redgem:
Fellow Nairalander's please I need urgent help...who know of any human right activist in port harcourt? My dad is being abusive and threatens to kill my mum and I. He is being really violent and I fear he will fulfil his threat soon.... He has severally try to strangle my mum... Please, help its a matter of life and death.

Can't your mom leave him and take you along
That is what she just do not sit there while you are looking for a human rights activist
To do what exactly?
It could be too late
Your lives are at stake

redgem:
We've left the house now...called my mums siblings they said they are coming but I don't expect them soon cos they stay far. Called my dads elder bro but nothing he can do cos him and my dad are not in good terms... We are out of the house and he said none of us are entering his house even if God comes down... I'm really scared

Stay away from him
He may have mental problems and could be hearing voices telling him to do stuff