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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Need Help! Its About Life And Death (24024 Views)
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Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by Nobody: 3:41am On May 29, 2015 |
MarvellousGod: Please shut up!! This is getting nauseating to read Verbally abusive my ass 20 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by Nobody: 3:50am On May 29, 2015 |
redgem: Your father is psychotic aka mad Onye ara Akula He is mentally ill no amount of begging can help you Begging feeds his madness The earlier your mom wizened up and disappeared with you all the better for you all His own family members don't want anything to do with him and you think you can beg your way through Begging doesn't work with mentally ill people you just let them be You are merely feeding him his drug This will not end well if you continue to stay in that house I hope you don't end up with a man like him Your mom is not doing you kids any favors by remaining in that dangerous environment and raising you all in it Patterns always repeat themselves She didn't choose this sort of man but she has chosen to stay in it and accept it,that is very unwise Without knowing it subconsciously you are already conditioned to this You kneel down and beg and put the demons at bay only for them to rise up the next morning This is no way to live Your mother probably has no self confidence left and you are on that same path Let your story not end up on the Daily Mirror You can say God forbid but if you remain in that house!it might 26 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by cococandy(f): 5:47am On May 29, 2015 |
redgem:may god be with you guys. Since you've chosen to go back, be sure to walk on egg shells to avoid setting him off again( that's if that will work) I'd advice you to lady up and go take the job you got in Lagos. He will only vex for a while. If he vex too much, he can come look for you in Lagos. As for your mom, I know nothing you do will change her mind about leaving until something really awful happens. God forbid. I said that because I don't understand how someone has tried to strangle her severally and she's still there. I don't know what to say. But your best bet is starting something for yourself and then maybe coming back for her when you're on your feet (that's if she will agree to go with you) |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by bukatyne(f): 7:57am On May 29, 2015 |
MarvellousGod: You introduced If the mom was verbally abusive into the mix 10 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by bukatyne(f): 8:01am On May 29, 2015 |
redgem: Is your goal to remain in that house by all means or find a lasting solution ![]() If you knew kneeling was the simple solution, Why did you wait till threats of death before kneeling? You claim he wants to kill your mom and has attempted strangling her a lot of times... Why don't you dig to the very bottom of the issue? 2 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by redgem(f): 8:26am On May 29, 2015 |
I know begging and Kneeling is not the solution but my mum does not believe in leaving her matrimonial home... She prefers to stay and face whatever comes her way like how she's being doing since they married. Sometimes I even blame my mum for her silence all these years, she gets hurt and keeps on protecting him.. We went to his room this morning and he acted like he was asleep, so we left. Dad is currently calling people from the village telling them that I called police for them to arrest him, changing the truth and spoiling mum's name. About taking the job if I leave her alone in the house, I fear for what will happen to her... She's not young any more, my mum's siblings stays in bayelsa, she has no one around my younger sis is still in the uni and she's scared of talking to dad cos he had threatened her for not funding her fees. My younger bro is still a boy and he can't say anything. The only people she has ar her pastor and church members who dad swore that if he sees any of them in his house, he will pour them hot water. |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by Nobody: 8:28am On May 29, 2015 |
babyosisi:Am I fighting with you? ? Can't you be a bit polite?? ![]() Seems everything na fight in this family section, unfortunately I have no such strength. ... Even the op I asked answered politely and you're here disturbing yourself.. bukatyne:And that meant I was justifying a man trying to strangle his wife? ? I only asked cos I wanted to know what led to the fight, maybe they were exchanging words or something but from what I read later, it's been like that since their childhood, so the man definitely has issues. . Can a man wake up and start acting weird? ? Except he's mentally ill, I feel there are causes.. is he financially unstable? Is he a drunk or a smoker?.Something must be frustrating him.... That I asked whether the woman is verbally abuse didn't mean I was blaming the woman or justifying the man's action.. To solve a problem, you must know the causes.. Except the op and her mum will run away forever as some people advised. .. 9 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by redgem(f): 8:36am On May 29, 2015 |
A very good friend of mine told me yesterday that my fear alone is a hindrance to my moving forward that, I should not let my fears stop me from focusing on my future. That's what I'm going to do and I pray God protects her like he has been doing these years. Amen 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by pickabeau1: 8:41am On May 29, 2015 |
redgem: This is good 1 Like |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by bukatyne(f): 8:43am On May 29, 2015 |
MarvellousGod: While I agree one must know the root cause, asking If the wife was verbally abusive is not a cause. Nothing justifies attempting to strangle a Person contiunously. If the man cannot cope with the woman, he has the option of separation or divorce. 13 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by redgem(f): 8:49am On May 29, 2015 |
MarvellousGod: He smokes weed but he hardly consume alcohol. He always says he regrets marrying my mum that she's a fool and calls her all sort of names. He has lovers and mum once approached one and talked to her, I still remember what happened after the girl told dad. when ever mum goes out, he says she has gone to meet her male friends when he knows that she went to church or her sisters(church women that's what she calls them) place. I wish they dissolve the marriage and go their separate ways but the bible is against it according to what my mum believes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by redgem(f): 8:52am On May 29, 2015 |
bukatyne: That is what he wants 'A divorce' but mum doesn't want that |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by bukatyne(f): 8:59am On May 29, 2015 |
redgem: Can you guys focus on addressing the issues instead of This window dressing and your friend telling you bout fears? If your dad wants the divorce So bad, he will abandon your mom in the house/lock her out/or kill her. Why does your dad want a divorce? How long has he wanted it? I still believe you and mom move out while you address the issues from the safety of outside the home. This your fear is real and you have to face it. Pretending it is not There and filling the void with a job or whatever doesn't solve the problem or make it disappear. 3 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by dinachi(m): 9:04am On May 29, 2015 |
Why does he want a divorce? Your information is not clear enough. What caused the incident that made him threaten to kill her? Since he is not here, it will be good to open up on these so that we can make informed contributions. 3 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by Nobody: 9:28am On May 29, 2015 |
redgem:He smokes weed?? That explains it a little. .. So your mum will rather remain in a life threatening situation than take a walk?? You need to talk to her.. 3 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by VintageCocktail(m): 10:16am On May 29, 2015 |
Maybe your Mum is the one with huge issues here, her church had a hand in what is happening in her marriage. Let them continue to deceive her until the weed smoker kills her. Bible abhors divorce.. ![]() ![]() 12 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by daveP(m): 12:56pm On May 29, 2015 |
Caracta:ma binu. Oro yen lagbara gaan. Not like its a pattern i wish to keep treading. 1 Like |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by Nobody: 12:59pm On May 29, 2015 |
redgem: This is a messed up situation when a child is now the mother and the mother has become a helpless child You need to grow up and stop worrying about your mother who has chosen the lifestyle she has chosen Chart your own course Sad to say but that is what you must do Take that job and move When you get to Lagos look for a good couple you can associate with and learn what a family ought to look like You need it so your case will not be a repeat of your mom's I really do feel sorry for you because not only do you not have a father,you don't also have a mother 18 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by Nobody: 1:06pm On May 29, 2015 |
bukatyne: I wonder how people come on a thread with preconceived lines to write and insist on delivering them come what may The OP is pretty clear on the situation,the dad strangles the mother several times,he is really very violent and everyone can read the desperation and fear in those lines and some person appears to ask if she is verbally abusive. Nonsense 8 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by Nobody: 1:07pm On May 29, 2015 |
Redgem your friend is right, you cannot live your parents life for them. Don't attempt to parent your parents they should be the ones looking out for you, protecting you and keeping you and your siblings safe. Since they have decided that they must exist in this dysfunction please save yourself. Your father wants a divorce, your mother is refusing, he smokes weed, he has anger issues. You can do nothing about all these except continue to be at the receiving end feeling disempowered. Get a job and move out while away you can continue in the place of prayer for them. 4 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by Nobody: 1:10pm On May 29, 2015 |
dinachi: It's not one incident Can't you read? 5 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by dinachi(m): 1:35pm On May 29, 2015 |
babyosisi:End time marriage counsellor, keep off! 7 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by VintageCocktail(m): 1:51pm On May 29, 2015 |
dinachi:From the little she wrote, the mum is a poster child of what every male nairalander wants as a wife....quiet, submissive, not contemplating on divorce even if she is maimed, humiliated and strangled infront of her children and the world and you're still asking for more as if the parties in question are here laying the complaints. Honestly, would've loved to be married to such a down to earth wife ![]() Tell the girl what you think will solve her problems in these quagmire, the parents can sort themselves out as they used to, even if it means the weed smoker succeeds in strangling the wife. 12 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by bukatyne(f): 1:55pm On May 29, 2015 |
VintageCocktail: @bolded: very funny 5 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by redgem(f): 1:57pm On May 29, 2015 |
Will leave the house once I get a place to stay...can't stay in my friends place with her husband.. Called her and she promised to get a place for me. Thanks so much Babyosisi Andromida Davep Caracta Bukatyne MarvellousGod VintageCocktail Pickabeau1 Cococandy And those I wasn't able to mention Will keep you all posted and will require advices of more issues arises. He is currently not around, he went out I tried apologising but he didn't let me talk, he said he just wanted a little rest then he will get back at us, that we should be grateful that he let us sleep in the house and we've exhausted our stay. He began shouting but mum and I kept quite like we were advised to, he talked from 10 till to 12 then He got a call from his friend and he left the house. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by bukatyne(f): 1:58pm On May 29, 2015 |
redgem: It is well 1 Like |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by cococandy(f): 2:05pm On May 29, 2015 |
Great. Bless you redgem: |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by cococandy(f): 2:05pm On May 29, 2015 |
Exactly VintageCocktail: 3 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by Nobody: 2:12pm On May 29, 2015 |
You're welcome Redgem.. It's well... But don't you have other siblings? |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by jayedu108: 2:17pm On May 29, 2015 |
Onegai:What is this one saying,she should get out of that house,is dat the best advice you could give to her?All I see here is kids with silly advice! 2 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by lolababe331e: 2:21pm On May 29, 2015 |
MarvellousGod: He tried to strangle the Mum and you except a child not to take sides ![]() 6 Likes |
Re: I Need Help! Its About Life And Death by MrBully: 2:21pm On May 29, 2015 |
Beat ur father to death before he beats your mother to death 1 Like |
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