Miscellaneous:


u are a fo.ol ……… reporting to police is the beginning of troubles……… it's not as easy as u think

Thanks. No wonder ur Dad is physically assaulting u n ur Mum. Maybe D man can't condone ur Bad mouth anymore

fejikudz:
Report him to the nearest army barrack, Dem go beat sense enter him head

Ur signature says it all
U really a good and bad guy

[quote author=redgem post=34172596]Fellow Nairalander's please I need urgent help...who know of any human right activist in port harcourt? My dad is being abusive and threatens to kill my mum and I. He is being really violent and I fear he will fulfil his threat soon.... He has severally try to Your dad wan kill your mum you are busy with keypard seeking for opinion Ewu

baby124:
Your dad has mental problems and cannot be helped without medication. Your mum must like the beatings. Take your younger one and leave them alone to kill themselves. Sometimes you have to let adults face the consequences of their actions. 2 fools behaving like lunatics at the detriment of their kids. FYI your mum is also unstable for staying with a man that strangles her for 21yrs. One day he will break her neck.

ur username says u are baby…… females are somehow built to be attached to someone don't call her unstable. You don't understand…… drastic disease requires drastic cure yet a disease that has been traced to a long range, I suggest a cure that goes slowly would be best. which one suits this? be wise……

abbey621:


Show me a child that has done what you are requesting her to do and has gone on in life to be successful?
There are better alternatives that the child can pursue, issues like this happens in majority of naija households, the key is to not overreact. Even the woman in question went to church rather than fight for her cause. If anyone should call the police, it should be the wife and not the child. Children must know their role and play it!

A child who saves her father from hanging as a murderer and her mother from being killed and her siblings from being orphans will always be successful. The normal routes have already been explored with her calling older people and family members to talk to him but the man is threatening even those ones. Prayer is good , God gave us a brain to act while praying.

Lack of action was what lead to the death of the Titilayo lawyer woman who was killed by her husband. She chose to pray and hope and instead she was killed and now the man will also be hanged living their child an orphan with a terrible legacy nothing like over reacting when life is concerned. He has been abusive for over 20years yet she's crying out now because she can sense danger is eminent. Only the person living in the situation can say how bad it is.

Is she watches till he murders her murder will she succeed in life How will she forgive herself for not acting till things got out if hands. Even her younger ones will blame her for not doing more

Your mum is more mentally deranged than your dad. Imagine staying with someone that wants to kill you by all means. Save your mum ke!!!. It is better you save your dad from your mum instead. Deeper life killing wives via their doctrines since 00BC.

redgem:
We've left the house now...called my mums siblings they said they are coming but I don't expect them soon cos they stay far. Called my dads elder bro but nothing he can do cos him and my dad are not in good terms... We are out of the house and he said none of us are entering his house even if God comes down... I'm really scared

Contact me through my email. If you have a matter indeed though I'm in Lagos,I'll see how I'll be of help.

scachy:

Thanks. No wonder ur Dad is physically assaulting u n ur Mum. Maybe D man can't condone ur Bad mouth anymore

That is not the OP

raumdeuter:
OP a month ago you were just 21, just graduated and staying with your dad



Today you are with your husband who beats you

So whats the real story

sweets, please learn to read properly (and listen too) before jumping to conclusion.

Miscellaneous:


it's easy to say man…… trust me, when u av been there u will understand better. but for now, keep ranting………

then she can stay and get her ass beat to death!!
i mean, if you are tired of getting beat-up, pack ur bags and leave!!...

babyosisi:


This is a messed up situation when a child is now the mother and the mother has become a helpless child
You need to grow up and stop worrying about your mother who has chosen the lifestyle she has chosen
Chart your own course
Sad to say but that is what you must do
Take that job and move
When you get to Lagos look for a good couple you can associate with and learn what a family ought to look like
You need it so your case will not be a repeat of your mom's

I really do feel sorry for you because not only do you not have a father,you don't also have a mother

...bitter truth

scachy:

Nigerians sef,report to nearest police station first before looking for human rights activists. U get sense to post on nairaland but u don't have sense to file a report to police. Nairaland ll save u n ur Mum when he uses pestle to break ur head. Mtchew!

this is the most senseless post I've seen on nairaland. Lacks everythinq there is……… guy u are a waste of resources.

bamidele029:

That is not the OP

lol……… scachy is high on weeds. Trust me.....

abbey621:


Show me a child that has done what you are requesting her to do and has gone on in life to be successful?
There are better alternatives that the child can pursue, issues like this happens in majority of naija households, the key is to not overreact. Even the woman in question went to church rather than fight for her cause. If anyone should call the police, it should be the wife and not the child. Children must know their role and play it!

The role of a child is to step in and save their parents when it's required since the adults are not and God will bless her for doing that. Enough with all these useless superstitions of curses, the man is in the wrong and no curse will have effect on her. In fact God will bless her more for saving her family.

Many have watched till their mother was killed, someone has tried to strangle her mother and you are talking "over reacting" is it till the woman is in the grave before she'll know there's real danger

redgem:
We've left the house now...called my mums siblings they said they are coming but I don't expect them soon cos they stay far. Called my dads elder bro but nothing he can do cos him and my dad are not in good terms... We are out of the house and he said none of us are entering his house even if God comes down... I'm really scared

.

Tough situation.

If you can afford it conveniently, check into an hotel for now. Otherwise, stay with a friend. Sleep in the friend's parlour or sofa if you must. And wait for relatives to come. Don't leave the poor lady out of your sight.

raumdeuter:
OP a month ago you were just 21, just graduated and staying with your dad



Today you are with your husband who beats you

So whats the real story

Goat.

Can't u read? She said mum and dad

Ode oshi

Miscellaneous:


lol……… scachy is high on weeds. Trust me.....

LolLol ,na me n u smoke am for our bunk nah .

babyosisi:


This is a messed up situation when a child is now the mother and the mother has become a helpless child
You need to grow up and stop worrying about your mother who has chosen the lifestyle she has chosen
Chart your own course
Sad to say but that is what you must do
Take that job and move
When you get to Lagos look for a good couple you can associate with and learn what a family ought to look like
You need it so your case will not be a repeat of your mom's

I really do feel sorry for you because not only do you not have a father,you don't also have a mother

if this is a better advice, I pray ur children abandon u as their mum at the times of trouble…… how abt that?

bamidele029:


A child who saves her father from hanging as a murderer and her mother from being killed and her siblings from being orphans will always be successful. The normal routes have already been explored with her calling older people and family members to talk to him but the man is threatening even those ones. Prayer is good , God gave us a brain to act while praying.

Lack of action was what lead to the death of the Titilayo lawyer woman who was killed by her husband. She chose to pray and hope and instead she was killed and now the man will also be hanged living their child an orphan with a terrible legacy nothing like over reacting when life is concerned. He has been abusive for over 20years yet she's crying out now because she can sense danger is eminent. Only the person living in the situation can say how bad it is.

Is she watches till he murders her murder will she succeed in life How will she forgive herself for not acting till things got out if hands. Even her younger ones will blame her for not doing more

You are mixing apples with oranges. For every Titilayo we have out there, we have 1,000 more that were going through the same thing and survived. You are still missing the main point here, it is not the child's place to involve the authorities! I believe the more logical method would be for the child to seek out more family members, more religious/community leaders to intervene on this issue. The person that should be involving the authorities is the wife, if she believes she's not in danger, if she believes that the issue can be resolved without involving the police then it is her right! Don't get the kid in a mess that she cannot handle, even the community would blame her afterwards. What if after contacting the police, the woman refuses to leave? How would the child be looked upon by her father? You are talking about ever lasting hatred here.....

AreaFada2:
.

Tough situation.

If you can afford it conveniently, check into an hotel for now. Otherwise, stay with a friend. Sleep in the friend's parlour or sofa if you must. And wait for relatives to come. Don't leave the poor lady out of your sight.

Police is ur friend.

Miscellaneous:


this is the most senseless post I've seen on nairaland. Lacks everythinq there is……… guy u are a waste of resources.

Crude oil, I hope ur community has started drilling u?

abbey621:


You are mixing apples with oranges. For every Titilayo we have out there, we have 1,000 more that were going through the same thing and survived. You are still missing the main point here, it is not the child's place to involve the authorities! I believe the more logical method would be for the child to seek out more family members, more religious/community leaders to intervene on this issue. The person that should be involving the authorities is the wife, if she believes she's not in danger, if she believes that the issue can be resolved without involving the police then it is her right! Don't get the kid in a mess that she cannot handle, even the community would blame her afterwards. What if after contacting the police, the woman refuses to leave? How would the child be looked upon by her father? You are talking about ever lasting hatred here.....

scachy, redgem and others read the colored and understand wat I've been tryinq to say…… but I don't advice involving religious and community bodies……… they wont better the situation one bit. Trust me

Onegai:
Get out of that house, take your siblings with you.

Get out of that house, take your siblings with you.

Get out of that house, take your siblings with you.

You will never beg your father enough. This is not your fault or your mother's fault. He has been doing this since you were young, so why do you think it is still your mum's fault or your fault?

Some men and women have demons that you cannot fix. You are not supposed to fix them, stay away. An abusive person doesn't change because of any prayers. I know too many women and men in your situation, you staying there will help nothing, think of your siblings and think what your mum has taught them that it is acceptable.

Everyone has a temper but abusive people justify their lack of control, weakness and need to hurt people with that fact. It is not normal.

Leave that house or bury someone in the future. And btw, children from abusive homes never come out right without help. Better a separated home than an abusive home.

I totally agree with every word.

Redgem please takke your mom away.
If you travel without her, they will call you to come burry her. I don't see reasons for you to beg him. Just take her away.

aderonila18:


The role of a child is to step in and save their parents when it's required since the adults are not and God will bless her for doing that. Enough with all these useless superstitions of curses, the man is in the wrong and no curse will have effect on her. In fact God will bless her more for saving her family.

Many have watched till their mother was killed, someone has tried to strangle her mother and you are talking "over reacting" is it till the woman is in the grave before she'll know there's real danger

And involving the police is what you call stepping in? Please don't let western ideologies to crowd your judgment. The child can step in by involving family members, she can step in by getting her mother's family involved. She can step in by getting neighbors involved and finally she can step in by convincing her mother to leave. What will she achieve by involving the police? The man gets locked up? The man gets beaten? I'll tell you the result, he'll get out of jail, throw the woman and her child out of the house and life goes on, case closed! I believe the better alternative is for the child to convince her mother to leave if things cannot be resolved by family members.

Onegai:
Get out of that house, take your siblings with you.

Get out of that house, take your siblings with you.

Get out of that house, take your siblings with you.

You will never beg your father enough. This is not your fault or your mother's fault. He has been doing this since you were young, so why do you think it is still your mum's fault or your fault?

Some men and women have demons that you cannot fix. You are not supposed to fix them, stay away. An abusive person doesn't change because of any prayers. I know too many women and men in your situation, you staying there will help nothing, think of your siblings and think what your mum has taught them that it is acceptable.

Everyone has a temper but abusive people justify their lack of control, weakness and need to hurt people with that fact. It is not normal.

Leave that house or bury someone in the future. And btw, children from abusive homes never come out right without help. Better a separated home than an abusive home.

Thanks. You've said my mind.

kmcutez:
Your mum is more mentally deranged than your dad. Imagine staying with someone that wants to kill you by all means. Save your mum ke!!!. It is better you save your dad from your mum instead. Deeper life killing wives via their doctrines since 00BC.

100likes.

Imagine her mother says she doesn't wanna leave her husband because the bible forbids divorce.

Like seriously?

lolly2pops:


If he is abusive in nature, the mother must be given full custody of the kids while he (the father) takes on the financial responsibility.

No, financial responsibility agreement will not be respected by such a deranged man, and they will be back to square zero. He needs to be responsible fully for the kids, they should stay with him. While the wife should divorce in order to stay alive. One has to be alive to stay married, we should learn to avoid areas of madness and mayhem.

[quote author=Babaken post=34213842][/quote]chai! Easy on her...she's only but 21 by the way, most people commenting now, never read Op's subsequent comments

Miscellaneous:


scachy, redgem and others read the colored and understand wat I've been tryinq to say…… but I don't advice involving religious and community bodies……… they wont better the situation one bit. Trust me

The poster wrote and I qoute
"Fellow Nairalander's please I need urgent help...who know of any human right activist in port harcourt? My dad is being abusive and threatens to kill my mum and I. He is being really violent and I fear he will fulfil his threat soon.... He has severally try to strangle my mum... Please, help its a matter of life and death."
Conclusion, is it against d law to report to police station when someone posses a threat to ur life (whether it's ur parents or siblings)?
Damn it, or is Nigeria police another devil waiting to chastise anyone that came to make a formal report that everyone is against the idea? Or is it better to waits until d Dad does something stupid cos she's trying to allow other family members or kindred to engage into d matter instead of involving d police. It's up to them shaa, what's my own there. I v made my suggestion I don't know how things operate over there presently but over here, once ur life n safety is threatened, d best thing to do is to alert d authority. After all police is our friend.damn d consequences n blames that might come from other family members if involving d police ll guarantee ur safety at the moment.

redgem:
I eventually called the police since no one could calm him down but, I didn't call them to arrest him, I called them to help talk to him which they did. Thank God, finally we are inside but I pray it doesn't continue tomorrow even though I know it will. But to let peace reign even though we did nothing wrong, I and my mum will go on our knees to beg him...

Thank you all for your advice and support...
I love you all

gud idea but u n mum nid 2 exercise lots of exercise cos it's seems ur Dada is hot tempered....patients n prayer is ur ultimate weapon .

Redgem: you have to be prepared for the inevitable,now that there's a little peace,i like your suggestion of going on ur knees to beg your dad,your siblings at home including your mum should do same.

From monday start making preparations to get an alternative home for your mum.(there's a probability that ur dad will go gaga again)
Its not going to be easy but now is the time to be strong mentally and spiritually, so as to avoid stories that touch.

Make sure the job offered in Lag is genuine,once you are sure about all these,tell ur dad about it in a not confrontational way.

Becareful not to annoy him and take sides with ur mum,relax and all will be well. I cant guarantee he's going to change but its better to be safe than sorry.


If you can, send me a pm.
The Lord is your strength

Op, your mom needs to leave that house at least for the time being. Not necessarily divorce him, but just get separated for a while, maybe when he gets the freedom he desires, he'll let you be.