Dear poster,

Firstly, I want to tell you that you have chosen a wrong medium for advice, if it must be a social media, then I suggest mamallete on FB, there are mature and experienced people.

Secondly, I would advise that you take everything to God in prayers, as a matter of fact, if you contacted God and got approval from Him before venturing into this marriage, then challenge God on your situation, He is the only one who can mend broken hearts. I pray God will touch your hubbys heart and make him see reasons why he should be with his family. Please do not relent in keeping yourself from immorality.

bettercreature:
Its just sad,its always better to keep them as baby mama till you are ready to settle down and the worse is the OP might be spending her husband hard earn cash on their gate man or one okada man

I HAVE SEEN THIS THINGS HAPPENING WITH MY N@KED EYES.

I THINK I WILL GO WITH YOU ON THIS ONE, JUST BETTER TO HAVE THEM AS BABY MAMA THAN TO SETTLE DOWN AND HAVE A HEART ATTACK

am in m late 20 ........lier......hunnnm i smeel [sup][/sup]trouble

Brandnew2:

I'll strongly suggest you should stay married for better for worse.
How do you get lonely with 2 kids tho'?

Dullest jamb question ever

I think I know the op

prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

Aunty...S'ope ti e.ur hubby takes care of his responsibility,comes home every year,even tried taking u guys over...but due to low finances it didnt workout....and all you cld do is come here and start complaining that you're tired despite trying all his strength to make you guys happy and works so hard to put food on ur table,and you still have guts to come here and say that you're tired....
#9jawomen....wa ri oju tan,won mama wa airaye kiri....alani ite'lorun ni e

prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

your husband is in a battle field, Im trying to think here he has not gotten teh full papers, when he gets his full papers he will return home, if you go and join him there, your marriage will not last, there will be financial and physical stress,he will need a bigger house, ofcos you cannot work so he has to feed you all over there,.There will be no savings.I do not think for o nce your husband is conffy where he is.thank God you got kids,look after them,support your husband,and on the harvest time both of you will see the glory of baba God and all the waiting and endurance will pay off.

@op wl u manage or damage the relationship?

managing it is of two kinds...wh are one you need to see it as ur cross and be ready to bear all this pain of loneliness and boredom.

The second option still on managing the relationship is for u to com the reality of ur life and ask ursef is ds a scam marriage? Av I bn used jus to produce children fo ds guy? Is ds all he want? To manage it well then u need to ansa these questions very well and candid.

Then ask ursef what do you wan sex companion or a friend? Or a husband? let analyse each of them..

Going fo sex companion may ruin ur marriage but if u must do it get som1 outside ur area or state self that u can visit frequently at ur pace wh but of u kno no string attached.

If its a frnd then u need a mature man who wl really be a confidant though he can also play the role of the sex guy once in while.

If its a hubby u need then u need to make up ur mind and let go of the first marriage and get a guy who wl truly love and always be there fo u.

My dear if ur story is true then I feel ur pain and the loneliness.

i can feel your pain..... all you need to do is to keep praying for him to have change of mind

Your toto is gradually getting rusty

Arrange marriage seriously? This is what u get in return for your greed in the name of abroad. Anywayz I don't advise walking out of the marriage; try to discuss it with him and if possible involve family members so u can find a way out before u knew it iust now it will be more complicated. Good luck n best of wishes

Ummmm if I were you, no drama. Okay babes can we have our 2 weeks visitor visa and tickets for holiday? Once I get my round trip flight tickets to wherever he is, ofone. On arrival, i will just vamoose with the kids to the nearest social security office for 'paperwork'
You may suffer a bit but shebi you are tired of your current status.

Some great responses so far and a few are ungodly/destructive! Case of faulty foundation here. Not to add to your sorrows. Are you born again?. If not, turn your life and this challenge to God in heart-rending prayer like Hannah of old. Then let God lead you aright. God can touch him and also make circumstances favourable. Nothing impossible with Him. Lesbianism, self-service, adultery, cheating, co-habitation and divorce are neither scriptural nor helpful/advisable. Turn your eyes upon Jesus, speak to helpful family members or close friends he respects if so led. I feel you but with God, it will be well. Finally, to all ladies and gents, please start with God, do proper diligence, get on your knees but keep eyes and heart open -lots of deceivers, sweet talkers and destiny destroyers/vandalisers out there. Involve your church and family in marriage plans, get parental consent, have very robust courtship and let the Lord be your foundation.

Truckpusher:

If you love a man or woman you won't let them leave your sight for a month .

Being with you must be suffocating, given this statement.

whizqueen:
Eyaaa I really feel for this lady sha
How can a young marriage of 5 years be lacking good sex when 25 years old marriage are still banging themselves with crazy styles

prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

hmmmmmm! Nigeria ladies don cum again wit lies . 5yrs marriage, dat means yu got married 2 him @ d age of 15yrs hmmmm! I doubt. Well if na 2ru u da 2ok sha my advice is tell him 2 snd u plastic dic..kson wit his name on it. Den afta ur kid's sleepn @ 9t u can strt doin sum practice wit d dic...kson. U know wat I mean now? By nsertn it n 2 ur road 2 U.k

prinwa:
Initially when we got married he told me he will prepare my papers, which he did but it didn't work, because i already had my daughter, so the embassy said that he doesn't. Have enough income to take care of me and his daughter. We kept on trying over and over again but nothing. Seems to work. Now i have another baby who is 11months old. My daughter gave him alot of space. My concern now is that he told me February this year that when he gets back to Europe that he will apply for his citizenship, so that it will be easy for him to take us. Up till this moment he has not applied for it. He is taking good care of financial, i won't deny that. But i need companionship, i need a man in my life. I feel empty with out him. I don't want my children to grow without their father.

Get a boyfriend. You cant escape it no matter how hard you want to try. Allow the man to focus in getting the greener pastures.

If he has the permanent resident and have a job that he can take care of u guyz financially it's very easy to make u join him; cause even students here with temporary permits bring their spouse n kids ; he may have other reasons too which I don't know; cause it's very expensive to have a large family here . But get a one on one discussion with him on this to know his real reasons . This should not take up to six months to sort out the paper work . Continue to be strong dear; God luck and all the best

Really I don't think unmarried folks like us are in the best position to advice and also the issue of having friends is far from it cos also u can find the bad and the good amongst them..

But what I can deduce is that apart from the marriage being long distance, I guess d age difference is on the long side too .

Communication is very key... You have to employ subtle pressure in this matter cos let's face it at ur age u're still very sexually active.. Make sure u keep pressuring him to try and take his family with him.. Let him see reasons with U.. Goodluck

prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

If he is Europe and not UK, here is the deal.
If he is in Germany, get a 3 months schengen visa through France, Italy or Spain. Take a train or local flight to his country and viola, you are with hubby!

You cannot sit back home fold your arms and wait for a miracle. Do something, which in this case is arrange a visiting visa for yourself and your kids! Shikena

armyofone:
Ummmm if I were you, no drama. Okay babes can we have our 2 weeks visitor visa and tickets for holiday? Once I get my round trip flight tickets to wherever he is, ofone. On arrival, i will just vamoose with the kids to the nearest social security office for 'paperwork'
You may suffer a bit but shebi you are tired of your current status.

Na real ofone! No issues here o, the babe is just dulling!

See the kind of advice u're giving her.. If the caption read.. My husband caught me cheating becos he caught me cheating.. And she gives these reasons stated here as why did it... U go follow crucify her..

Atlantian:
Get a boyfriend. You cant escape it no matter how hard you want to try. Allow the man to focus in getting the greener pastures.

TheUmmah:
Op! If you ask us, na who we go ask?

talk ur own, person don talk am b4

tellwisdom:
Look at you. Why bother when you can give me a call to come keep u. Do u even have big yansh to start with?

This guy no just get sense







But she should answer that your question sha

My dear wisen up please oh...... Your husband may have another wife that is why he has refused to process your papers. of course he won't tell you that he is married over there.Or would he?

www.freshinsightng.com

prinwa:
Initially when we got married he told me he will prepare my papers, which he did but it didn't work, because i already had my daughter, so the embassy said that he doesn't. Have enough income to take care of me and his daughter. We kept on trying over and over again but nothing. Seems to work. Now i have another baby who is 11months old. My daughter gave him alot of space. My concern now is that he told me February this year that when he gets back to Europe that he will apply for his citizenship, so that it will be easy for him to take us. Up till this moment he has not applied for it. He is taking good care of financial, i won't deny that. But i need companionship, i need a man in my life. I feel empty with out him. I don't want my children to grow without their father.

u want to eat double cake...ok na

lolaxavier:


It shows you know nothing about relationships. Don't you know what it means to be without the physical affection of your partner, husband for that matter. He comes home only once in a year. He probably would spend just a month or two before going back. Do you mean a lady in her 20s will now enjoy sex just for that period. Besides, it goes beyond sex. His presence would mean a lot to the family.

Thanks for this. It appears some men are so self-centered even for other men. Mtcheew.

prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

You have ever right to be unhappy and miserable. Both of you are supposed to be together and not apart. Both of you are opening yourselves up to adultery.


Also the children need their daddy. Parental presence means more to children than money. You can't hug your child over the internet and your husband as well.

Of course this will mean sacrifices.

Are you ready to accept a lower standard of living? If yes, let your husband know.

The problem is that people put money above marriage. It's better to chop gari with your spouse than to eat burgers away from your family for months.

prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please.

madam, na yur choice. @d start of it all, u had d oportunity to detest such plan knowing very well sey body no b wood. Unfortunately dont even deceive yurself yur husband it keeping himself over there for u alone. How are u sure his not married to a white lady abroad. D solution is in yur hands

lolaxavier:


It shows you know nothing about relationships. Don't you know what it means to be without the physical affection of your partner, husband for that matter. He comes home only once in a year. He probably would spend just a month or two before going back. Do you mean a lady in her 20s will now enjoy sex just for that period. Besides, it goes beyond sex. His presence would mean a lot to the family.

how married man go come visit him wife only ones a year.??na for inside sea the man they work..this show's that you to don't no anything about relationships..

Hmm...i guess u shld talk it over with him....i ve witnessed dis kinda situation real time, i grew up in a house with same scenario, my uncle worked in the uk and fr a long time, only comes home once in a year, leaving just the three of us, me, his wife and his son, in a big house, u saw what she went thru, but so far i know, i can tell she remained faithful....though my uncle tried many times to take them, but to no avail, but he kept on trying..applying for them to join him, and it later worked out, rite now they re all in the uk..happy together......so i'd say, kp urself faithful to him, pray and talk it over with him, or talk to his pastor or any one u knw he respects...soonest u ll have a testimony......pls dont mind my typos...na sleeep eye.

itz rada unfortunate dan painful dat d matrimonial ure driving doesn't av brake.......but sister prinwa talk tru btw man n God did u guys marry out of Geniue Luv or u were carried away by material gains bkos frm d Look of tinz ure not different frm Timaya‘s Babymama even tho d gud part is dat u guys got married in d 1st place...sha pray & make ur heartache kwn to d family b4 u open fone boot