Do you think Smacking, Spanking and Caning is the best method to discipline children? some people say ....IT IS CHILD ABUSE


Should Parents sit and Talk senses into the kids head to know the consequence of what he/she has done?

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE BEST METHOD TO DISCIPLINE CHILDREN OF NOWADAYS OR HOW CAN PARENTS DISCIPLINE THEIR CHILDREN....ESPECIALLY THE TEENS( since they want to do things their way, thinking that they are adults)....

Do most Nigerians believe in whipping their children? What's your take on this?
I strongly believe in child discipline, because a well disciplined child turns out well,

your opinion are valued from different cultural backgrounds


thanks

Source :http://www..com/talk/topic,53544.0.html

Some times you have to whip oo. Children of these days are quite different. Growing up, if you are misbehaving and your parents give you one kin corner eye, you go adjust but it doesn't work now

Some children are so sturbon that they needs a good percent of whipping b4 they can come to their senses.

spare the rod.....












you know the rest.

Whipping is not the best way to discipline children especially teens, the best you can do is to sit them down and talk to them..make them understand life isnt all that rosy....whipping in my own opinion shld be limited to children below 16.....

Spare the rod and spoil the child!

I don't know how else to qualify it other than child abuse, buh its worse than that. Beating/caning/spanking is much worse than child abuse. I was a victim of this..and to be frank, it hasn't helped me in anyway. It only makes one stubborn, apart from the physical harm it may bring..(I ve got a nike scar on my hand to show whoeva is interested)

I believe there are a million and one ways to discipline a child other than flogging him/her like a horse...Some ways that work are; witholding privileges, rewarding them for some of the good things they do OR telling them the possible rewards that comes after every good thing they do and repeatedly telling them the consequences of the bad things they do, and by practicing what you(the parent) preach ..

Renylee:
spare the rod.....












you know the rest.

and spoil ladyf

There is know how you can train nowadays kids without flogging. You wanna seat a 2yr old kid huh? Wetin you wan tell am

A parent should rather be a good example, Be available as a friend and confidant for a child not a boss , Be caring and loving not mean and harsh before the child grows wings and develop a defense strategy to beat the parent's tough display.
For a child who has the parent as the love af his/her life, He would be free to share problems like he would with his best friend and would automatically guard against doing things that would hurt the feelings of the parent. Even if the child will have excesses it won't be terribly bad to arouse worry, simple 'I don't like that you did' solves the issue ...

As for the teen that lacked good parental care and guidance when he was a kid, beating won't help at all, condemnation or shouting at the young lad won't , Infact talking sense won't do the job 100 too.


However , its never too late to show love. . Tha LOVE, CARE and ATTENTION the teen lacked as a kid can actually be injected steadily and patiently into the child. With patience, the child will respond in the affirmative I believe . You don't have to hit , shout at , insult or condemn. Just calm down and be your child's friend.

agarawu23:
There is know how you can train nowadays kids without flogging. You wanna seat a 2yr old kid huh? Wetin you wan tell am

na to apply Jonathan's goat and yam theory

midolian:
na to apply Jonathan's goat and yam theory

the theory go work so?

agarawu23:
the theory go work so?

E fit work reach one level o! For example, A two year old child that doesn't stop playing with ya expensive phone after several warning.. If you want to deal with him, you simply apply the "Goat and yam theory" ... keep the phone away from him.

I think whipping a child always isn't the best, they might get resistant and used to it. When we were kids, my mum spanks us alot when we do something wrong, what amazes me is how she never got tired of doing it. The whips only comes once in awhile from my dad when she reports to him . That man doesn't pity . Instead we will resort to begging our mum while crying " mummy pls beg daddy, we will not do it again" good old memories. Now we are all grown and responsible ladies and gentlemen when it comes to parenting, nigerian parents dont kid with this verse of the bible..proverb 13:24

Canme4u:
Some children are so sturbon that they needs a good percent of whipping b4 they can come to their senses.

midolian:
E fit work reach one level o! For example, A two year old child that doesn't stop playing with ya expensive phone after several warning.. If you want to deal with him, you simply apply the "Goat and yam theory" ... keep the phone away from him.

you and this your theory, abeg apply am for politics section alone o. Though it's ganna work sha.

agarawu23:
you and this your theory, abeg apply am for politics section alone o. Though it's ganna work sha.

Let me surgically break it down for you. I'll liken the flogging of a child to the potters craft. The child will be represented by the mud the Potter uses to perfect his act. The outcome of his task determines whether he has done a good job or a shoddy one.
Now The mud, which represents the child must be of a particular state of softness that allows the Potter to 'whip' his art to perfect shape. Mind you, the mud must not turn hard before the shaping takes place. In summary, the Best time to get the Best result is when the child is young and manageable .the kids we bear nowadays are very rebellious and adventurous. We call call them the computer Age kids,but Good Old fashioned whipping, mixed with love, not aggrression will do the magic. We need to raise God fearing generations not God mocking ones.
A bit of deprivation too works, but kids have been known to work their ways around it .

Smacking of ur kid becomes an abuse when you get he or she injured.

If a child does wrong and you smack him/her, it's always wise afterwards to call them back, sit them down and let them know why u had them smacked and assure them that you do love him/her.

Make una no vex for my english o.
I failed gst

Mostly parent beat children because they have no other means of asserting their authority over a child. However a child should acknowledge your authority without being in fear of a violent attack.
We often make mistakes by starting too late with discipline but by age three a child should clearly be able to identify that it better listen to mum and dad.
Many roads lead to rome but why choose the aggressive road! Growing up it seemed quite natural to beat children but later I came to realize that it was abuse and nothing else.
When my kids do something wrong they are really scared of me because my God I don't stop talking. I can go on for over an hour and might decide to repeat the lecture two times in a day going on for several days
That lecture will include God and man, Bible, proverbs, history and you can just see the agony on the teenagers face when I go on talking and talking and preaching. Especially as they have heard most of it before. It works miracles.
Also you need to give teenagers some amount of freedom and a healthy amount of thrust. We parents think it must always go our way! IT mustn't. Listen to their views and compromise with them. It works miracles. My kids know there are some topics I don't compromise about but i I ask you to clean your room and you tell me you are not in the mood , you want to do it later, then why not! Even adults are sometimes not in the mood. And when it comes to decisions about their future- it is their future and not yours so they also have a say.
Most time we have a problem reaching to our children because they don't thrust us.
I remember once my teenage son came up to me and told me he thought his girlfriend was pregnant!
Inside I was screaming loud!!!!! Oh God ! How could you! How dare you! Are you already intimate with a girl! I could just get up and shake you!
But I had to tie myself down.. keep calm! He confided in you! Don't betray the thrust! Well thank God it ended up being a false alarm but I sat two of them down and gave them a serious talk.
The same applies to girls. The best way to keep a girl decent is to boost her self esteem. Make her know she is a queen and worthy of love and respect. Cater for her financial needs to the best of your ability and show he love so she doesn't go out in search of it.
The greatest factor why children go astray is because they are unhappy at home. Then they go to the wrong friends and feel they have a family and are loved. That is why it is so important that children have a happy home, a home where there is peace and they always want to come back to.
Love your kids that is what they need above all else and express that love. Also learn to have fun with your kid`s, laugh crack jokes do things together. You looses some of the "respect" but you gain something special. A child that thrust you .
And most importantly, when a child has done something really wrong! When it has fallen into the well... then help the child out and give love , support and understanding they will respect you more for it.
Some parents really go crazy when the child has committed something serious. The child is in big problem and then you add to it. Where does the child find shelter. That is the time to show the child love and support it to stand up and walk proud.

missgray:
I think whipping a child always isn't the best, they might get resistant and used to it. When we were kids, my mum spanks us alot when we do something wrong, what amazes me is how she never got tired of doing it. The whips only comes once in awhile from my dad when she reports to him . That man doesn't pity . Instead we will resort to begging our mum while crying " mummy pls beg daddy, we will not do it again" good old memories. Now we are all grown and responsible ladies and gentlemen when it comes to parenting, nigerian parents dont kid with this verse of the bible..proverb 13:24

Very true!

midolian:
I don't know how else to qualify it other than child abuse, buh its worse than that. Beating/caning/spanking is much worse than child abuse. I was a victim of this..and to be frank, it hasn't helped me in anyway. It causes only makes one stubborn, apart from the physical harm it may cause..(I ve got a nike scar on my hand to show whoeva is interested)

I believe there are a million and one ways to discipline a child other than flogging him/her like a horse...Some ways that work are; witholding privileges, rewarding them for some of the good things they do OR telling them the possible rewards that comes after every good thing they do and repeatedly telling them the consequences of the bad things they do, and by practicing what you(the parent) preach ..

@bold

Well said!

@red

It goes a long way. Sincere words of appreciation go a looooooong way.
Do not overdo rewarding them with materialistic things though. They can cause more harm than good. Your love, attention and appreciation have a greater power.

Has anyone heard about the deprivation technique ?

To omode ni ona ti o to, ti o ba dagba tan ki yo kuro ninu re....
BTW..
Is OP not part of Nowadays Children?

This is my model: Depending on the age of the child, engage and talk to him. Then warn him severally (also depending on his offense. Some offences needs no warning). Then whip him.

I am a parent myself and i see a lot of parents over indulging their children/wards,

This most times result in need to correct same behaviours.

I have a friend who would not allow his wife scold their son no matter what the boy did, however at a family gathering, the boy walked up to the table where daddies were discussing and he dipped his hands into the bow of groundnuts,

We were all held back and when his father called him back to return the groundnuts, he paused for a few secs and walked away anyway.

You could visibly see the embarrassment on the fathers face.
But i can tell you the boy has never been spanked before in his life and i don't think words are cutting it for him either.
And he is just 5 years.

tunergy:
I am a parent myself and i see a lot of parents over indulging their children/wards,

This most times result in need to correct same behaviours.

I have a friend who would not allow his wife scold their son no matter what the boy did, however at a family gathering, the boy walked up to the table where daddies were discussing and he dipped his hands into the bow of groundnuts,

We were all held back and when his father called him back to return the groundnuts, he paused for a few secs and walked away anyway.

You could visibly see the embarrassment on the fathers face.
But i can tell you the boy has never been spanked before in his life and i don't think words are cutting it for him either.
And he is just 5 years.

Seriously!!

I can just imagine the look on the father's face

Such boldness!!!

tunergy:
I am a parent myself and i see a lot of parents over indulging their children/wards,

This most times result in need to correct same behaviours.

I have a friend who would not allow his wife scold their son no matter what the boy did, however at a family gathering, the boy walked up to the table where daddies were discussing and he dipped his hands into the bow of groundnuts,

We were all held back and when his father called him back to return the groundnuts, he paused for a few secs and walked away anyway.

You could visibly see the embarrassment on the fathers face.
But i can tell you the boy has never been spanked before in his life and i don't think words are cutting it for him either.
And he is just 5 years.

I would like to know why he didn't get up and take the groundnuts from the boy?

How old is his boy?

Mindfulness:


I would like to know why he didn't get up and take the groundnuts from the boy?

How old is his boy?

The Boy is 5.

Yeah

Mindfulness:


Very true!

hmmm