It's seen as normal thing if a married man is caught cheating on his wife but a shocking scandal if the reverse is the case. Why does the society give married men the liberty to cheat on their wives?
Please, I need answers

Ur answers are found in the book of proverbs.

It's nature. As singles, women cheat more but are less likely to cheat than men in marriage.
A cheating married man would not be praised but the society would not totally condemn him either.
But a cheating married woman would not only be condemned but rejected by fellow women. It's God's doing and we can't question Him.

Because you've lost her once she cheat.




Read am here https://www.nairaland.com/1937785/why-naija-men-hardly-forgive

DeMekus:
It's nature. As singles, women cheat more but are less likely to cheat than men in marriage.
A cheating married man would not be praised but the society would not totally condemn him either.
But a cheating married woman would not only be condemned but rejected by fellow women. It's God's doing and we can't question Him.

Are you saying God approves of men's infidelity? Blasphemy!

Bcuz we've paid their dowries, they belong 2 us n 2 us alone

Op it is because a Man belongs to everybody and to nobody but a woman belongs to a Man.

It is b'cos of our cultural and religious beliefs that see woman as 2nd individual to her husband. That's nt good though

I guess I'm wired like a man cos I can't forgive a cheating husband o. Lai lai

Tallesty1:
Because you've lost her once she cheat.




Read am here https://www.nairaland.com/1937785/why-naija-men-hardly-forgive

Oh, nice! But the entire writeup is biased!

Joromi1:
It's seen as normal thing if a married man is caught cheating on his wife but a shocking scandal if the reverse is the case. Why does the society give married men the liberty to cheat on their wives?
Please, I need answers

The rule books were written by insecure men. Insecure men are intimidated by the idea their woman will find other men attractive, but also they're so insecure that they look for as many women as possible to validate their manliness.

My hubby told me of his hometown tradition that a cheating woman will kill her kids if she sleeps with her husband anytime after cheating. I asked what happens when the man cheats... of course it was nothing! I mean, if that's not clearly created by men for men...

Men might try to use religion or evolution to explain it, that's all bs. There is nothing religious about stepping outside of your relationship/marriage. And there is no evolutionary se.x craving gene that men possess & women don't. The truth of the matter is that cheating is just a sign of ones bad character.

Who said they don't forgive? ? After the difficulty and long thinking they call it giving second chance
The ones that forgive don't make.noise about it cos it may be seen as a slight on their masculinity. Many forgive and move on!

McSquishi:


The rule books were written by insecure men. Insecure men are intimidated by the idea their woman will find other men attractive, but also they're so insecure that they look for as many women as possible to validate their manliness.

My hubby told me of his hometown tradition that a cheating woman will kill her kids if she sleeps with her husband anytime after cheating. I asked what happens when the man cheats... of course it was nothing! I mean, if that's not clearly created by men for men...

Men might try to use religion or evolution to explain it, that's all bs. There is nothing religious about stepping outside of your relationship/marriage. And there is no evolutionary se.x craving gene that men possess & women don't. The truth of the matter is that cheating is just a sign of ones bad character.

Wow! Nice writeup! The emboldened part summarizes it all. Thanks!

Joromi1:

Are you saying God approves of men's infidelity? Blasphemy!

It's not what I mean. But, you know, everything natural is designed by God. He put all those things in place. Married men have been cheating and getting away with it since bible time. There are consequences, though, but it's more in the woman's case.
In Leviticus 20:10 ''And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that ... adultery with his neighbor's wife--both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death. ....'' But can you cite a place in the bible where a man was stoned to death for adultery? I don't think so. Even King David slept with Bathsheba, killed her husband and went scot free, although he was punished by God. But I can cite a case of a woman dragged outside by the Pharisees and Scribes to be stoned for committing adultery, upon which Jesus interfered, asking who hadn't been guilty of such to cast the first stone. You see? They dragged out only the woman but didn't disclose to us whom her partner was

McSquishi:


The rule books were written by insecure men. Insecure men are intimidated by the idea their woman will find other men attractive, but also they're so insecure that they look for as many women as possible to validate their manliness.

My hubby told me of his hometown tradition that a cheating woman will kill her kids if she sleeps with her husband anytime after cheating. I asked what happens when the man cheats... of course it was nothing! I mean, if that's not clearly created by men for men...

Men might try to use religion or evolution to explain it, that's all bs. There is nothing religious about stepping outside of your relationship/marriage. And there is no evolutionary se.x craving gene that men possess & women don't. The truth of the matter is that cheating is just a sign of ones bad character.

No, it isn't. You may want to call it a character flaw but I cannot agree that it means that someone's character is bad.

Mindfulness:


No, it isn't. You may want to call it a character flaw but I cannot agree that it means that someone's character is bad.

I don't know what else to call it when someone promises fidelity but finds difficulty in keeping that promise. If that isn't a flaw, it certainly can't be a strength.

We don't have to agree. I was taught that lying, cheating, stealing, etc are morally wrong. Other ppl, perhaps, are taught differently.

Joromi1:

Oh, nice! But the entire writeup is biased!

Your opinion, none of my business

McSquishi:


I don't know what else to call it when someone promises fidelity but finds difficulty in keeping that promise. If that isn't a flaw, it certainly can't be a strength.

You didn't call it a character flaw initially. You spoke of a bad character. There is a huge difference between the two. That's MY point.

Someone's infidelity may be called a character flaw but the person may also have ten other qualities that are considered morally right so it would be an exaggeration to call the person bad. It is not all black or white, you see.

We don't have to agree. I was taught that lying, cheating, stealing, etc are morally wrong. Other ppl, perhaps, are taught differently.

Who wasn't?

Oh I misread or misunderstood the meaning of your initial reply. I thought you were using "bad character" & "character flaw" interchangeably and didn't agree it was either.

I think it shows bad character when you are a cheater, despite other good characteristics you might espouse. Bad character doesn't mean you are a totally "bad" person. Though even the most reprehensible person can likely produce a witness to some decent character trait they possess ie. "He killed all those women but he was the best son to his elderly mother", doesn't change they show bad character in other ways. I think you exchanging my phrase of bad character w/ character flaw is really just semantics.

Mindfulness:


You didn't call it a character flaw initially. You spoke of a bad character. There is a huge difference between the two. That's MY point.

Someone's infidelity may be called a character flaw but the person may also have ten other qualities that are considered morally right so it would be an exaggeration to call the person bad. It is not all black or white, you see.



Who wasn't?

Because we are polygamous in culture

Joromi1:
It's seen as normal thing if a married man is caught cheating on his wife but a shocking scandal if the reverse is the case. Why does the society give married men the liberty to cheat on their wives?
Please, I need answers

McSquishi:
Oh I misread or misunderstood the meaning of your initial reply. I thought you were using "bad character" & "character flaw" interchangeably and didn't agree it was either.

I think it shows bad character when you are a cheater, despite other good characteristics you might espouse. Bad character doesn't mean you are a totally "bad" person. Though even the most reprehensible person can likely produce a witness to some decent character trait they possess ie. "He killed all those women but he was the best son to his elderly mother", doesn't change they show bad character in other ways. I think you exchanging my phrase of bad character w/ character flaw is really just semantics.

It is about the way we perceive people and reduce them to single character traits when passing our one-sided judgment.

I don't believe that women forgive either, you will be stunned on the number of men that forgive once it's not yet public news. Don't let the E bravery they display here deceive you,nah wash.

I don't think the society gives a man the liberty to cheat.

Mindfulness:


It is about the way we perceive people and reduce them to single character traits when passing our one-sided judgment.

lol ok. The topic was about cheating, a singular act, thus that singular character trait is what I commented on. Cheating, imHo, shows bad character. That's all I stated. If a person cheats, that's bad. When you do bad things, it's a reflection of your character. If you agree w/ that, I don't see the issue. I didn't comment that the cheating person was evil or anything like that. You're reading too much into my statement.

McSquishi:


lol ok. The topic was about cheating, a singular act, thus that singular character trait is what I commented on. Cheating, imHo, shows bad character. That's all I stated. If a person cheats, that's bad. When you do bad things, it's a reflection of your character. If you agree w/ that, I don't see the issue. I didn't comment that the cheating person was evil or anything like that. You're reading too much into my statement.

If it is a singular act then it cannot even be considered a character flaw. It may be a mistake under the influence of booze and the result of prior frustration in the marriage. If a singular mistake or moment of weakness reflects that people have a bad character then we all are bad characters, aren't we?

As for the "cheating is bad part", well, for some people it is a coping mechanism and for some others a way to challenge societal conventions that favor monogamy over polygamy.

byvan03:
I don't believe that women forgive either, you will be stunned on the number of men that forgive once it's not yet public news. Don't let the E bravery they display here deceive you,nah wash.

You are right, most women don't forgive they just pretend to forgive. Many people think those women who stay in that kind of marriage are senseless,truth is they always clap back secretly.

For me men don't forgive because of Ego only when it's out in the public,those who forgive too will never look at their wives the same again,the trust is gone.

All these quack Statisticians wey full nairaland sef

By the way wetin consin OP with another person forgiveness. It's his forgiveness. He can choose to do with it as he likes

edwife:


You are right, most women don't forgive they just pretend to forgive. Many people think those women who stay in that kind of marriage are senseless,truth is they always clap back secretly.

For me men don't forgive because of Ego only when it's out in the public,those who forgive too will never look at their wives the same again,the trust is gone.

Exactly, that's why I really doubt the intelligence of men that fall for " women always forgive blah blah ". They clap back and face front, marriage continues.

Story story.
Most women forgive ke
And most men don't forgive.

More stories.

I was saying the singular act the op's topic discussed is cheating. Thus suggesting that I am judging based on one character trait is sorta silly as only one "character flaw" is the topic of discussion.

Earlier I commented that I was taught lying & cheating are morally wrong and u replied "who wasn't"... So, now I'm confused at your attempt to justify cheating and hesitation to label it "bad".

Entering into a monogamous relationship is a voluntary act. It's a promise to your partner that you'll be faithful. Breaking that promise is a character flaw, it shows bad character.

If you don't agree with that, that's fine. Going back and forth is pointless though.

Mindfulness:


If it is a singular act then it cannot even be considered a character flaw. It may be a mistake under the influence of booze and the result of prior frustration in the marriage. If a singular mistake or moment of weakness reflects that people have a bad character then we all are bad characters, aren't we?

As for the "cheating is bad part", well, for some people it is a coping mechanism and for some others a way to challenge societal conventions that favor monogamy over polygamy.

Some do forgive