masonkz:
I actually don't know if this is a global thing, but I've come to notice it a lot around people here, especially the guys.

You see a single woman that is successful at what she's doing, and then the next thing that comes to your mind is to start opining that she must be bitter cos she's in her 30s or approaching 40 and not married. These are the kind of people that feel that for a woman, marriage is the biggest achievement that can happen to her. That no matter what a woman has in life, if there's no marriage, then she's not made, not minding the fact that many married women are silently suffering in their marriage.

In turn, this same thought process goes on to affect the woman as she starts getting desperate and starts having a very low self esteem. The pressure gets to the point where they end up going from one church to the other and in so doing may fall into the prey of men solely looking out for these kind of women to exploit. Only those bold enough to shake off the society's expectation of a woman can actually hold their head high and not give a hoot about what anyone says.

Even women can be their own enemies when a married lady starts using another's singlehood to insult her. In my opinion, that is way below being petty. Now the trend is when people see fine pictures of single ladies on social media, the next question is "where is her husband?", "...who go marry this one wey don reach 30something?", "...too bad that she's this rich and fine with no husband"... poor reasoning I.M.O.

Ladies/Women, your first priority when it comes to happiness is yourself, and not to cater to the happiness of the society. Granted, you may have wanted to marry in your 20s, but if that isn't /wasn't the case, why go on killing yourself about it? Develop yourself the more, be beautiful to yourself, get that money rolling, the career moving, that business booming. If need be, get a baby papa and get yourself pregnant and train the child yourself!. If teenagers can have unwanted pregnancies and still see the child through childhood, successful women can surely do better!

While that last part may not lie well with many, my point still is that you shouldn't go through life thinking having a husband would be your guarantee to having a fulfilled life. Having a great family is beautiful, if you don't have one, align your priorities and have your options open as to what really you CAN DO to make yourself more happy with YOUR LIFE.


#okbye.

If e pain anybody make e go marry.

masonkz:
I actually don't know if this is a global thing, but I've come to notice it a lot around people here, especially the guys.

You see a single woman that is successful at what she's doing, and then the next thing that comes to your mind is to start opining that she must be bitter cos she's in her 30s or approaching 40 and not married. These are the kind of people that feel that for a woman, marriage is the biggest achievement that can happen to her. That no matter what a woman has in life, if there's no marriage, then she's not made, not minding the fact that many married women are silently suffering in their marriage.

In turn, this same thought process goes on to affect the woman as she starts getting desperate and starts having a very low self esteem. The pressure gets to the point where they end up going from one church to the other and in so doing may fall into the prey of men solely looking out for these kind of women to exploit. Only those bold enough to shake off the society's expectation of a woman can actually hold their head high and not give a hoot about what anyone says.

Even women can be their own enemies when a married lady starts using another's singlehood to insult her. In my opinion, that is way below being petty. Now the trend is when people see fine pictures of single ladies on social media, the next question is "where is her husband?", "...who go marry this one wey don reach 30something?", "...too bad that she's this rich and fine with no husband"... poor reasoning I.M.O.

Ladies/Women, your first priority when it comes to happiness is yourself, and not to cater to the happiness of the society. Granted, you may have wanted to marry in your 20s, but if that isn't /wasn't the case, why go on killing yourself about it? Develop yourself the more, be beautiful to yourself, get that money rolling, the career moving, that business booming. If need be, get a baby papa and get yourself pregnant and train the child yourself!. If teenagers can have unwanted pregnancies and still see the child through childhood, successful women can surely do better!

While that last part may not lie well with many, my point still is that you shouldn't go through life thinking having a husband would be your guarantee to having a fulfilled life. Having a great family is beautiful, if you don't have one, align your priorities and have your options open as to what really you CAN DO to make yourself more happy with YOUR LIFE.


#okbye.

Because their more successful male counterparts are married or will marry and raise a happy family.

Secondly, naturally, a woman is created the same way like a man; the biological reproductivity of a woman ends faster than that of a man...a man can marry at 45 and still bear kids....a woman can't except on rare case.

My last paragraph may sound crazy, but it's the reality!

A man can decide to remain single for life and keep numerous concubines with no issues....but a woman can't keep numerous lovers till she dies cos as she ages, her beauty fades away and her lovers also run away. So only a man who married her legally and built strong family bond with her while young can stay with her when her beauty fades.

American reggae singer: Shaggy had a song abt this issue...

And u also know that a key (man) that opens many locks (women) is called a master key, but a lock that is opened by many keys is called a *hoe

Thank you for this post..it makes some ladies get scared about getting successful. I remember when I used to say I won't marry, but now I know na Africa I dey.. My mates don marry, my Lil cousins don dey engage. so everything I said when I was young don change. Now I want to settle down ....but from my hubby's house I wll start fighting d war against discrimination against single successful ladies..they need to b proud of what they hv achieved. But I don't want to be one of them.. Yes, I'm a hypocrite

Baby Papa? What its meaning

Because marriage in most of the developing countries are seen as an investment. So those who were into marriage used to equate themselves with the successful ones both male & female. It's a kind of since I & my husband don't have money let us

bear children which in Africa is more important than money

some folks want heterosexual marriage to be a taboo!

hm!

In Africa or where?

masonkz:
I actually don't know if this is a global thing, but I've come to notice it a lot around people here, especially the guys.

You see a single woman that is successful at what she's doing, and then the next thing that comes to your mind is to start opining that she must be bitter cos she's in her 30s or approaching 40 and not married. These are the kind of people that feel that for a woman, marriage is the biggest achievement that can happen to her. That no matter what a woman has in life, if there's no marriage, then she's not made, not minding the fact that many married women are silently suffering in their marriage.

In turn, this same thought process goes on to affect the woman as she starts getting desperate and starts having a very low self esteem. The pressure gets to the point where they end up going from one church to the other and in so doing may fall into the prey of men solely looking out for these kind of women to exploit. Only those bold enough to shake off the society's expectation of a woman can actually hold their head high and not give a hoot about what anyone says.

Even women can be their own enemies when a married lady starts using another's singlehood to insult her. In my opinion, that is way below being petty. Now the trend is when people see fine pictures of single ladies on social media, the next question is "where is her husband?", "...who go marry this one wey don reach 30something?", "...too bad that she's this rich and fine with no husband"... poor reasoning I.M.O.

Ladies/Women, your first priority when it comes to happiness is yourself, and not to cater to the happiness of the society. Granted, you may have wanted to marry in your 20s, but if that isn't /wasn't the case, why go on killing yourself about it? Develop yourself the more, be beautiful to yourself, get that money rolling, the career moving, that business booming. If need be, get a baby papa and get yourself pregnant and train the child yourself!. If teenagers can have unwanted pregnancies and still see the child through childhood, successful women can surely do better!

While that last part may not lie well with many, my point still is that you shouldn't go through life thinking having a husband would be your guarantee to having a fulfilled life. Having a great family is beautiful, if you don't have one, align your priorities and have your options open as to what really you CAN DO to make yourself more happy with YOUR LIFE.


#okbye.

it's the dirty mentality of Nigerians at large. They see Marriage as the ultimate. Just tell a girl you want to marry her and see majority of fall over for you.

If you aren't married, people bug you with it so much so you think you are not good enough.

This is why you even see those who can barely feed themselves getting married by all means. After marriage what next? Poverty!

There is never a complete male without a female and there is never a complete female without a male, the One who created them made them male and female, in complements.

A man is never successful without his woman, and a woman is never successful without her man, perhaps the single most important task for any male or female is looking for the perfect God given complement and then proceeding to fulfill the divine will to increase and multiply.

Nothing like success for a man without a body, there is no success for a woman who has no head.

I wonder what will happen if Wizkid just ends up marrying Linda Ikeji..

amicable09:
I have a little ish troubling my mind whenever this topic about older ladies and marriage is raised. One of such question is, is the lady supposed to marry herself?

It takes two to tango after all. A lady interested in marriage and there's no eligible suitor, what should she do? There are some ladies who have only married men approaching them for relationships, what are they to do? Run to the streets and marry any guy who is single because they are above 30 and nearing 40?

Let's stop and think for a minute about such situations, rather than jump into conclusions, calling successful single ladies, bitter.

To butress your point, I know of a LOVELY lady that has just married chaps asking her out. Now we are real close so I know it has got nothing to do with her character or village as she's above board in both regards.

She complains about this. The single chaps that do come around are according to her not serious. Now before you say she's being picky and whatnot, she isn't!

No female friend of mine can be irresponsibly picky as long as I'm there cos I check their assess quick! But I do believe that One Sweet Day my beloved friend will walk down that aisle with a man who truly loves and values her and by God's grace that day is nigh.

KashyBaby:




But surely u DIE FIRST coz u r NONSENSE! U and ur black stinky mouth will kill u...


Mtccchew!

You shoulda left the attention seeking mofo alone....It woulda hurt more.

Marriage is definitely not for everyone, that's a fact people need to understand but many women do wish to be married, that's another fact.

too crious

KashyBaby:
Definitely I agree with this...in this wonderful paradise we called it "earth" ,marriage is not for everyone.. and so what if a lady will stay single for the rest of her life? Simply bcoz she doesn't want complicated things..

And not to mention, so many marriage are broken as well..why? Coz a lot of couple thought they married the right person or they were juz forced to marry someone they do not love...

#singleforlife

Have you seen a woman in her 30s that says she's happy being single ? Be sincere to yourself .

KashyBaby:
Definitely I agree with this...in this wonderful paradise we called it "earth" ,marriage is not for everyone.. and so what if a lady will stay single for the rest of her life? Simply bcoz she doesn't want complicated things..

And not to mention, so many marriage are broken as well..why? Coz a lot of couple thought they married the right person or they were juz forced to marry someone they do not love...

Go and marry joor. You dey find excuse.

#singleforlife

Go n marry joor. N.a. when you reach 40 n 50 you go no know the importance and for those saying marriage is not for everyone don't give birth outside wedlock too .

As much as we have people going through challenges in there marriage so we have people enjoying it, why not focused on the successful ones.

It is not only men that take advantage of women, they also take advantage of men (women)

Certifiedboss:


Have you seen a woman in her 30s that says she's happy being single ? Be sincere to yourself .

They won't understand.

*Picks up mic*

Dear OP,

Your post reeks of wisdom and I must commend you for that.

Many folks fail to realise that NOT EVERY woman can be Married in her lifetime. The Norms, Societal Values and Culture of mankind have evolved over time. Unfortunately, we are so backward in our thoughts that we fail to read and EMPOWER our minds.

God made man in HIS own image. Am i correct? Okay thank you. Now long, long ago, there were no Homosexuals, Lesbians, Transgenders etc. Women were usually given out in marriage with many recording UNHAPPY EVER AFTERS. Now we have more women than men yet women DEMAND commitment. PLEASE WHERE ART THY COMMON SENSE?

Wo! OP, God bless you again for this write-up joor!

*Drops mic*

amicable09:
I have a little ish troubling my mind whenever this topic about older ladies and marriage is raised. One of such question is, is the lady supposed to marry herself?

It takes two to tango after all. A lady interested in marriage and there's no eligible suitor, what should she do? There are some ladies who have only married men approaching them for relationships, what are they to do? Run to the streets and marry any guy who is single because they are above 30 and nearing 40?

Let's stop and think for a minute about such situations, rather than jump into conclusions, calling successful single ladies, bitter.

Women with good character and decent way of life will surely get suitors.

amicable09:

Lol. Keep up the good work. I can't talk feminism here else we'll derail this thread. But then, you are with your mum now, I thought you are close to 40 years of age from your update I read.

Could be visiting a mom who's still kicking it strong even though the son is 40.

RadicallyBlunt:
Nigerians overrate marriage that's the issue. Although it has advantages but has demerits too. Its like sweet honey packed up in a swarm of deadly bees..how can one reach d honey? Actually God has blessed some women without marriage (although such women usually have their wealth traced to their father/family or father's connectivity) but actually too, for a woman to feel comfortable abt being single at 40, definitely there's an iota of bitterness in her.

Averagely a lady at early 20s is more enthusiastic about marriage than a guy of same age..it just means a lot to them that even d guys wonder if they can ever attain the financial level of whoever is making these ladies freak out and find marriage so appealing that they envy and talk abt their friends marriages till it appears as if a man who can't do such is a failure.

To now find such an lady at 40 with so much un-interest about marriage that she was once flakky about, definitely bitterness must have taken the enthusiastic heart over.

This post must be about Linda Ikeji. And yes with her attitude towards the bag issue shows that she won't be able or haven't found a man . She's the kind who will always remind the man of how successful and rich she is whenever there's a debate in the house . No man wants that no matter how poor he is . I will be convinced that marriage means nothing to successful women when I see a woman in her late 30s who's happy being single because she can afford every thing she wants . None

Those insulting them are intellectually vegetable...they way don marry, how is their life better

Nice comment.

He is just a messenger.

Truluvguy:
linda ikeji must have given you this to send here cus wiz nonsense kid abused her

Savigne:

You shoulda left the attention seeking mofo alone....It woulda hurt more.

Anyone that said the beautiful ones are not born is a liar. This one na beauty.

I know this is about Linda ikeji

henryhemon:


They won't understand.

Bro they keep deceiving themselves . There shouldn't let Linda's smile in her pictures deceive them . No matter the house or car she has she still feel the absence of a partner and it means a lot to her. Even a man needs a woman

why is Linda the poster girl for singlehood?


during her bag embroglio, she cursed out the female who commented and offered Dubai trip to the male who commented.


Can anything get more obvious than that?

Some people should keep on keeping single because their role model Linda is single. Na una sabi.

doveda:


You are very daft

Lol

Certifiedboss:


Bro they keep deceiving themselves . There shouldn't let Linda's smile in her pictures deceive them . No matter the house or car she has she still feel the absence of a partner and it means a lot to her. Even a man needs a woman

I like that ending "even a man needs a woman". When they 're in their twenties they feel they 've every thing going for them it's when they 're in their late 30's it will sink in.

Because they are dense

joseph1832:
Now that's a thing of choice. I know many women who are married and are being battered by their husbands, yet, the chose to remain in such abusive marriage.

Choice? Most are afraid of what society will say if they abandon their marriage. I say fear not choice.

The truth is this, marriage is considered one of the components of having a successful life for women, it is placed very highly on their success pyramid. For men, it is way lower on the pyramid and considered way less important. For men, money is considered the top priority, this is why society blames the man for not being wealthy and blames the woman for not building or keeping her home(family). This leads us to the main question, what happens when we have misplaced priorities? When women start chasing money and career and men start chasing love? We have a disaster, a shift in the continuum of life and an hyperbolic sequence of negative consequences. This is why men who chase love find themselves being hurt by that same love and women who chase money end up regretting later on in life. Ask Oprah Winfrey why she decided she did not want to get married or have any kids? Her answer would be that it was her decision but deep down inside she was afraid of commitment and by the time she realized what was going on, it was too late. I see no reason why a woman can't have it all; success, fame, good home, sexy body, lovely kids and so on. The ultimate decision is deciding whether you are going to see marriage as an obstacle or an opportunity, are you going to see it as a negative or a positive? After all the richest woman in Africa (Alakija) enjoyed the benefits of marriage! So in totality, the Nigerian society is actually doing single successful women a huge favor by being on their case, as I am yet to see a 40 year old woman who can truly say she's happy being single without kids and with no regrets!