I feel people that makes such comments are the really young/immature folks just out to have fun at someone's expense.

I do not think you will see a matured person make such disparaging remarks unless they are misogynists.

On nairaland, some folks believe you can only be miserable if you're married.

Imo, being single is no guarantee you cant be miserable.

Mindfulness:


As much as a married woman with kids can be unhappy, as much can a 40-year-old unmarried woman without kids be happy.

Go back and read slowly what I wrote, the key phrase here is "happy with no regrets"!

abbey621:


Go back and read slowly what I wrote, the key phrase here is "happy with no regrets"!

Read my post above.

No 1. reason is Envy . People will always try and look for at least something about a successful person to pick at .This Is to make them feel better about their own short comings .

If Linda was married the You would hear she doesn't have children, if she has girls it will be a woman without sons is not yet really married...

No2. Most men around here are intimidated by single successful women. It goes against their belief that they are superior to women. If she was married they can console themselves that it must be her husband's money . It's just hard for them to admit a woman is more successful in life than them on her own.

No 3. For the married women most of them are unhappy in their married so they console themselves that at least they are married. They wish they could live the life she's living but the income of both husband and wife no even reach 10th of hers so they feel the need to attack her and try and make her feel she's failed in some way. Happy married women will never need to insult another woman about her marital status

masonkz:


Therefore if the woman doesn't find any man she likes, she should end up feeling not successful just for that sole reason.


I bow for una.

As in bros..I juss tire for their mentality.

Nwayz it all rests with the woman involved. If she decides to let people like these dictate her level of success/achievement, its her cup of depressing tea.

If we decide to weigh the problems our societal judges have against that of the single ladies, theirs will sink the titanic ten times. Smh..

AVRecruit:


your comment shows your superficiality and why you are still probably single. If he is poorly groomed, groom him that is why you are the wife.

Hahahaha. Why do I find your comment so funny!? Lwkmd! I am not "probably" single. Check my NL history and you'll discover I'm happily mingled! Lol.

Back to the issue at hand, you suggest I groom him because I'm his wife! That's a lazy excuse. To start with, we aren't married. I'm considering... so why can't he help himself and help me make a wise decision by washing himself clean and buying some products (I'm so nice that I can offer to recommend good products he'll enjoy *smiles). That's not too much to ask for.

I brought up this personal hygiene issue because as men here are screaming that ladies are choosy and that's the reason for their "dilemma", I'm saying that if the guys help the ladies eliminate some of these baggage on their part we'll have a smooth ride

Its not for ladies only. Even guys experience such. The worst of it all is even Immediately you start working.the next thing is go and MARY.na wa for marriage oo.

Savigne:

Very funny...Merci pour le compliment.

Pleasure is line.

Here we go again with this overbeaten topic..and yet in all my sojourns in life from the east to the west, north to south, I am yet to see that lady who wishes to stay "single and happy" for life..I see females on Nairaland downplaying marriage(even though the majority of that group is married)..,what an irony

From his post history as well as profile photo, the op comes across as gay.

He should have stated this fact in his opening post so we know why he is against heterosexual relationships.

tatucci:
I wonder what will happen if Wizkid just ends up marrying Linda Ikeji..

tatucci will undergo a sex change

tpiar:
From his post history as well as profile photo, the op comes across as gay.

He should have stated this fact in his opening post so we know why he is against heterosexual relationships.

Pray tell, how does this post come across as someone being against heterosexual relationships? You've been trying to get my attention, well here you have it:

If you're having mental issues, kindly go to the nearest rehab for proper rehabilitation. I have no time to offer such classes.

Bye!

Omotayor123:
Because, getting married is one of our social and even religious responsibility..
People tend to view unmarried adult (male and female) as socially irresponsible.

Though, marriage is not everything but we should endeavor to fulfill our responsibility!

I hope society comes in to save u if, God forbid, ur 'social and even religious responsibility' comes with some punches and tears.

tpiar:
On nairaland, some folks believe you can only be miserable if you're married.

Imo, being single is no guarantee you cant be miserable.

being married does not say either..

abbey621:


Go back and read slowly what I wrote, the key phrase here is "happy with no regrets"!

It changes nothing! You can be married, have kids and regrets. And you can be unmarried, have no kids and have absolutely no regrets since you have found the path to happiness and the pathways to happiness are plenty and diverse. This is good news.

AVRecruit:


You need to realize that the world is operating upside down now.

EVERY GIRL has a window of marriage opportunity; a time where she has many suitors...

Modern feminism has taught women to ignore this window or use it for boyfriends....

So she is not supposed to marry herself but rather is a victim of modern feminist culture.

You sound like women just recently started refusing marriage proposals deliberately but that is not true. Every Saturday, wedding ceremonies take place in Nigeria in almost all event centres and town halls, not forgetting fields too. Women are still very much in the business of marrying.

The problem now is her age. Not all suitors are best for the lady, she can't marry just any guy. Guys in this present age are becoming more and more irresponsible, I'm sorry but that's what I've observed. Men who are not committed to anything, not willing to make anything work, most especially their relationship with the opposite sex. I hear guys say "when I'm really rich, I'll just go and get a wife, shebi na money women want?"... Very wrong. Reducing women to a commodity, an acquisition, sth on a shelf waiting to be purchased.

When guys begin to act responsibly, ladies will marry in a haste.

Mindfulness:


It changes nothing! You can be married, have kids and regrets. And[b] you can be unmarried, have no kids and have absolutely no regrets [/b]since you have found the path to happiness and the pathways to happiness are plenty and diverse. This is good news.

Show me proof!

Just one example of a woman that is wealthy over the age of 40, not a religious nun, not married, has no kids, no medical complication preventing her from having children, no diseases and is completely happy with her life with no regrets!

@Amicable09, am expecting ur book on this particular thread, u have actually said a lot. Lol, well there are some element of truth is some of the things u've said, I don't really have anything to contribute because I have always known that everybody will want to justify their status which I see as some form of consolation.

mikedimeji:
@Amicable09, am expecting ur book on this particular thread, u have actually said a lot. Lol, well there are some element of truth is some of the things u've said, I don't really have anything to contribute because I have always known that everybody will want to justify their status which I see as some form of consolation.

Hahahaha. Forgive me Mike, I will stop talking, I'm hoping I stop. Lol.

But your last comment by implication means I amicable, am defending my "status" as a form of consolation. Now this makes me sad if that's the case. Lol. I'm not yet 40, even though I'll soon be! Lol.

My dear, you have said it all, right on point.

masonkz:
I actually don't know if this is a global thing, but I've come to notice it a lot around people here, especially the guys.

You see a single woman that is successful at what she's doing, and then the next thing that comes to your mind is to start opining that she must be bitter cos she's in her 30s or approaching 40 and not married. These are the kind of people that feel that for a woman, marriage is the biggest achievement that can happen to her. That no matter what a woman has in life, if there's no marriage, then she's not made, not minding the fact that many married women are silently suffering in their marriage.

In turn, this same thought process goes on to affect the woman as she starts getting desperate and starts having a very low self esteem. The pressure gets to the point where they end up going from one church to the other and in so doing may fall into the prey of men solely looking out for these kind of women to exploit. Only those bold enough to shake off the society's expectation of a woman can actually hold their head high and not give a hoot about what anyone says.

Even women can be their own enemies when a married lady starts using another's singlehood to insult her. In my opinion, that is way below being petty. Now the trend is when people see fine pictures of single ladies on social media, the next question is "where is her husband?", "...who go marry this one wey don reach 30something?", "...too bad that she's this rich and fine with no husband"... poor reasoning I.M.O.

Ladies/Women, your first priority when it comes to happiness is yourself, and not to cater to the happiness of the society. Granted, you may have wanted to marry in your 20s, but if that isn't /wasn't the case, why go on killing yourself about it? Develop yourself the more, be beautiful to yourself, get that money rolling, the career moving, that business booming. If need be, get a baby papa and get yourself pregnant and train the child yourself!. If teenagers can have unwanted pregnancies and still see the child through childhood, successful women can surely do better!

While that last part may not lie well with many, my point still is that you shouldn't go through life thinking having a husband would be your guarantee to having a fulfilled life. Having a great family is beautiful, if you don't have one, align your priorities and have your options open as to what really you CAN DO to make yourself more happy with YOUR LIFE.


#okbye.

amicable09:

You sound like women just recently started refusing marriage proposals deliberately but that is not true. Every Saturday, wedding ceremonies take place in Nigeria in almost all event centres and town halls, not forgetting fields too. Women are still very much in the business of marrying.

The problem now is her age. Not all suitors are best for the lady, she can't marry just any guy. Guys in this present age are becoming more and more irresponsible, I'm sorry but that's what I've observed. Men who are not committed to anything, not willing to make anything work, most especially their relationship with the opposite sex. I hear guys say "when I'm really rich, I'll just go and get a wife, shebi na money women want?"... Very wrong. Reducing women to a commodity, an acquisition, sth on a shelf waiting to be purchased.

When guys begin to act responsibly, ladies will marry in a haste.

Or maybe she wants to be reduced to a level of a commodity, an acquisition, something a shelf waiting to be purchased. Hence she "attracts" irresponsible men.

masonkz:


Pray tell, how does this post come across as someone being against heterosexual relationships? You've been trying to get my attention, well here you have it:

I am having mental issues, I will kindly go to the nearest rehab for proper rehabilitation. I have no time to offer such classes.

Bye!

You opened a thread because of imaginary "insults" on some unknown celebrity rich women, only for you to start insulting "mental health issues".

That's d.umb and highly hypocritical.

Back to my question, are you or are you not gay?

Omotayor123:
I don't know about the Bible... Saying from Islamic point of view!

If it's in the Bible it will be in the Quran

Savigne:

If more people thought this way,the world will be a happier place.
One of my favourite quote goes thus; Minding one's business is a full-time job and everyone should stay employed...

Made my day. Bless you, ma'am!

abbey621:


Show me proof!

Just one example of a woman that is wealthy over the age of 40, not a religious nun, not married, has no kids, no medical complication preventing her from having children, no deceases and is completely happy with her life with no regrets!

Cameron Diaz: I have an unbelievable life. In some ways I have the life that I have because I don't have children. It's just a different choice."



[size=18pt]"What Happens When An Israeli Woman Admits to Regretting Motherhood?[/size]

The opening paragraph of a recent article on the sociologist Orna Donath includes the phrase “professional iconoclast” in reference to Donath and her work on Israeli men and women who don’t want to be parents (as opposed to “childfree,” which has no direct translation to Hebrew).
Donath, a post-doctoral student at Ben Gurion University, is the author, most recently, of Regretting Motherhood, currently available in German. Her other works include “Making a Choice: Being Childfree in Israel,” published by Miskal – Yedioth Ahronot Books and Migdarim/Hakibutz Hameohad in Hebrew. She spoke with the Sisterhood about regret, limited narratives around mothers and motherhood, finding community, and more.
Talk about your realization that you didn’t want to be a parent and how that inspired the work you do now.
In high school, my friends were talking about being mothers, whether they’d have two children, three children, and I thought to myself, I don’t have this dream, but I never thought it was a problem. I’m always asked if I had a traumatic childhood, and the answer was emphatically no. It seemed logical to me that there were some women who didn’t want to be mothers, but I didn’t see anyone around me who felt and thought the same.
As a sociologist, I was interested in studying this. This was in 2003, so there wasn’t Facebook or anything, and I felt like I was the only one. That was a distortion of reality, of course, but it felt real at the time, since it had never been written about before in Israel. For a long time, there was only place online for people who don’t want to be parents, which became a way for me to study, but now there are Facebook groups, as well as people meetings in the real world.
Women who have openly admitted to regretting becoming mothers (Isabella Dutton, for example) have been brutally attacked in the press for talking about their experiences, even accused of child abuse. What are your thoughts about the narrative around motherhood and regret?
In the case of Isabella Dutton, the backlash was not simply because she exposed her identity, or those of her children. For my book, the women I interviewed were protected - their names and the names of their children weren’t revealed - and they got similar responses. Society sorts things in a binary way: if you regret, you’re a monster mother. There is no space to regret and love your children. We only have one script - “I hate you, I regret you.” Women can love their children and hate being their mothers - they love who their kids are, they hate being in this in relationship to them.
One woman I interviewed for “Regretting Motherhood” told me she’ll talk to her daughter about the difficulties of motherhood and the possibilities that it’s not for everyone, that there are different paths. She said, “What kind of a mother am I if I lie about what motherhood has been for me? I want my daughter to have the best she can in her life.” Mothers are trying to protect their children in their own way. (...)"

Read more: http://forward.com/sisterhood/333596/what-happens-when-an-israeli-woman-admits-to-regretting-motherhood/#ixzz411eb0NmY

kaboninc:


Or maybe she wants to be reduced to a level of a commodity, an acquisition, something a shelf waiting to be purchased. Hence she "attracts" irresponsible men.

How

Mindfulness:


Cameron Diaz: I have an unbelievable life. In some ways I have the life that I have because I don't have children. It's just a different choice."



[size=18pt]"What Happens When An Israeli Woman Admits to Regretting Motherhood?[/size]

The opening paragraph of a recent article on the sociologist Orna Donath includes the phrase “professional iconoclast” in reference to Donath and her work on Israeli men and women who don’t want to be parents (as opposed to “childfree,” which has no direct translation to Hebrew).
Donath, a post-doctoral student at Ben Gurion University, is the author, most recently, of Regretting Motherhood, currently available in German. Her other works include “Making a Choice: Being Childfree in Israel,” published by Miskal – Yedioth Ahronot Books and Migdarim/Hakibutz Hameohad in Hebrew. She spoke with the Sisterhood about regret, limited narratives around mothers and motherhood, finding community, and more.
Talk about your realization that you didn’t want to be a parent and how that inspired the work you do now.
In high school, my friends were talking about being mothers, whether they’d have two children, three children, and I thought to myself, I don’t have this dream, but I never thought it was a problem. I’m always asked if I had a traumatic childhood, and the answer was emphatically no. It seemed logical to me that there were some women who didn’t want to be mothers, but I didn’t see anyone around me who felt and thought the same.
As a sociologist, I was interested in studying this. This was in 2003, so there wasn’t Facebook or anything, and I felt like I was the only one. That was a distortion of reality, of course, but it felt real at the time, since it had never been written about before in Israel. For a long time, there was only place online for people who don’t want to be parents, which became a way for me to study, but now there are Facebook groups, as well as people meetings in the real world.
Women who have openly admitted to regretting becoming mothers (Isabella Dutton, for example) have been brutally attacked in the press for talking about their experiences, even accused of child abuse. What are your thoughts about the narrative around motherhood and regret?
In the case of Isabella Dutton, the backlash was not simply because she exposed her identity, or those of her children. For my book, the women I interviewed were protected - their names and the names of their children weren’t revealed - and they got similar responses. Society sorts things in a binary way: if you regret, you’re a monster mother. There is no space to regret and love your children. We only have one script - “I hate you, I regret you.” Women can love their children and hate being their mothers - they love who their kids are, they hate being in this in relationship to them.
One woman I interviewed for “Regretting Motherhood” told me she’ll talk to her daughter about the difficulties of motherhood and the possibilities that it’s not for everyone, that there are different paths. She said, “What kind of a mother am I if I lie about what motherhood has been for me? I want my daughter to have the best she can in her life.” Mothers are trying to protect their children in their own way. (...)"

Read more: http://forward.com/sisterhood/333596/what-happens-when-an-israeli-woman-admits-to-regretting-motherhood/#ixzz411eb0NmY

The article you provided has no correlation with the requirements I provided. You provided me with an article of mothers regretting motherhood not one that shows a successful woman 40 and above with no husband, no kids and enjoying her life with no regrets. Furthermore, I don't know why you used Cameron Diaz as an example, she's the worst example you could have used because not only is she married and trying hard to conceive but apparently she's trying to adopt a child, do your research my friend, do your research!

http://www.parentherald.com/articles/13554/20151203/cameron-diaz-benji-madden-pregnancy-couple-adopting-baby-gywneth-paltrow.htm

amicable09:

Hahahaha. Forgive me Mike, I will stop talking, I'm hoping I stop. Lol.

But your last comment by implication means I amicable, am defending my "status" as a form of consolation. Now this makes me sad if that's the case. Lol. I'm not yet 40, even though I'll soon be! Lol.

Lol! Form of consolation.
Mks me remember a lady who wrote an epistle about this topic. Her point? Leave a single woman alone. Most times she's single by choice, and she's not always as miserable as you think.

Someone responded and said that's only a form of consolation because nobody is interested in her.

Her response? Drivers are interested. Traders are interested... But I'm not desperate enough.

teechudleyy:


Lol! Form of consolation.
Mks me remember a lady who wrote an epistle about this topic. Her point? Leave a single woman alone. Most times she's single by choice, and she's not always as miserable as you think.

Someone responded and said that's only a form of consolation because nobody is interested in her.

Her response? Drivers are interested. Traders are interested... But I'm not desperate enough.

Hahahaha. I love you Bae! Even more now that you just made me laugh.

I love it when people respond wisely. The lady's response is just perfect! "Drivers are interested. Traders are interested but I'm not desperate enough!" Lol.

amicable09:

Hahahaha. I love you Bae! Even more now that you just made me laugh.

I love it when people respond wisely. The lady's response is just perfect! "Drivers are interested. Traders are interested but I'm not desperate enough!" Lol.

You didn't reply my last mention.