joseph1832:
You see what I mean about stringing me on. LOL. When a challenge is issued to you, you shy away from it, even though you're the one who successfully planted the seed that lead to the issuance of that challenge.

I'm starting to believe you're a tease. You remind me of a certain moniker here, punkyveer.

Good morning.

amicable09:

Lol. I sincerely do not want to comment on this thread again, been trying to bring every conversation to a close cos I've commented more than the OP of this thread.

This is by no means a challenge I'm shying away from... lol. Good morning.

teechudleyy:
When you are about to marry, many married women will give you a million advise. The advise will be enough for an observant person to know what they are getting into.

They'll say... People change o.
Be patient
Be humble
Persevere
Don't talk too much
Respect your elders
Be hardworking.
A woman must know how to look away.

There's usually little advice for the man. Even when there is... Its halfhearted like yeah we are supposed to tell u this but u know what bro... You are d boss. You can do as you please.

It always sounds like you are going into a war room for a woman.

Nobody walks into marriage with so much temerity and doesn't pinch themselves few months later like... Things aren't what I thought they'd be. I thought I knew this person so much. I thought I read all the books and gained all the wisdom.

Women lose a lot in marriage. Your shape changes after childbirths. You can't change that. Your name changes and for a split second you go thru a small identity crisis however proudly you think ur stressing that Mrs Somebody somewhere ur brain is like yo! This is gonna take some getting used to.
You have no choice but to grow all the wisdom expected and they tell u whatever he does... U have to take it or else you will be termed as illtempered and immature.
On the other hand... The family will always cast you for any signs of imperfections on your side.

Marriage is a lot of pressure on a woman.
I don't blame anyone who isn't rushing into it.

Doesn't mean marriage is bad or that people don't want it.

Older women who aren't married made a choice between mental stability, self love and happiness versus child bearing, someone else's surnname and societal acceptance. Its a tough choice to make... But happiness is one of the things we all strive for in the end. We should let people find their happiness in whatever works for dem and not compare dem to people who might have forfeited their happiness in order to achieve something else.

Omotayor123:
Because, getting married is one of our social and even religious responsibility..
People tend to view unmarried adult (male and female) as socially irresponsible.

Though, marriage is not everything but we should endeavor to fulfill our responsibility!

kaboninc:


Hmmmm...

There's no guaranty that after marrying the supposed "man of your heart", there won't be statements like "had I known"....

Or wouldn't you love to have a child of your own?

amicable09:
I have a little ish troubling my mind whenever this topic about older ladies and marriage is raised. One of such question is, is the lady supposed to marry herself?

It takes two to tango after all. A lady interested in marriage and there's no eligible suitor, what should she do? There are some ladies who have only married men approaching them for relationships, what are they to do? Run to the streets and marry any guy who is single because they are above 30 and nearing 40?

Let's stop and think for a minute about such situations, rather than jump into conclusions, calling successful single ladies, bitter.

teechudleyy:


May the almighty God bless your home.
May God continue to give you the strength to be all you want to be in your home.
May your partner never take your uniqueness forgranted.

I wish more people had your point of view.

Mindfulness:


How many people experience a happy married life?

blisscentre:


Don't mind Sexiest. Sexism makes them unreasonable.

sisisioge:


Oga, do u have eyes on my uterus? Back off. I want a man after my own heart ...babies are the contingency plan.

teechudleyy:


You will be surprised his many people put concealer on their marriage issues and come outside flaunting what's not. They sleep in misery everyday and get a kick from making other people feel sad because they are not married.

Marriage is not easy doesn't mean some people aren't making it work.

But more often than not, the fact that you are married doesn't mean you are happy. Many people console themselves and say "my kids are my pride and joy. I'm sacrificing for them by being in this marriage.

abbey621:


Happiness as you know is a subjective term, what happiness means to me might be different from what happiness means to you. The fact remains there are a lot more people happily married in Nigeria than not and this can be evidenced by the number of proud parents who have witnessed their children getting married and so on, it's a cycle, it's not perfect and we are all still learning how to perfect it but at the end of the day when we are close to going back into the ground, it's one of the things many people are thankful for!

Mindfulness:


Proud parents because their kids conform to societal expectations that failed to make them happy?

abbey621:


Proud parents because their kids are protecting the cycle of life!

Like I said happiness is highly subjective, what works for Tom might not work for Jerry!

Mindfulness:


So do baby mamas and baby daddies.



Same for Linda and Joycelyn but you were arguing differently at the beginning. Nice to agree eventually.

abbey621:


Go back and read my friend, I never argued about happiness being subjective rather I pointed out that I've never seen a single woman in her 40s, wealthy with no kids and with no regrets. Remember it's possible to be happy and still have regrets, especially for women who represent the most emotional creatures on earth!

Mindfulness:


Just because you have't seen such a woman, doesn't mean that they don't exist.
And every human being, man or woman, is an emotional creature.

Mindfulness:


Just because you have't seen such a woman, doesn't mean that they don't exist.
And every human being, man or woman, is an emotional creature.

Good Afternoon.

I have found that life is not a one size fits all street.

Realities differ.

Two people could be in an exact condition yet their reactions/outputs cum understanding might totally differ.

Humans have been imbued with the power to create.
We all have the power to choose our reality.
As we believe, so it is unto us.

abbey621:


Stop speculating if such a woman did exist she would be at the forefront of the feminism movement, the pure fact is that they do not exist!

In regards to your next point, you do realize that there are years upon years of research which backs up the fact that women are more emotional than men, I'm sure you are familiar with estrogen and other hormones.

MizMyColi:



Good Afternoon.

I have found that life is not a one size fits all street.

Realities differ.

Two people could be in an exact condition yet their reactions/outputs cum understanding might totally differ.

Humans have been imbued with the power to create.
We all have the power to choose our reality.
As we believe, so it is unto us.

Mindfulness:


What has feminism got to do with it? Stop bubbling unrelated gibberish and then call it a fact.




The research is very contradictory in this respect.

abbey621:


Point 1: Such a person would be a testimony to the world and a hero to the feminist cause if they ever came out. So far we've not heard of anyone of that caliber, so your argument still relies on speculation and not fact!

Point 2: Stop insulting the scientific community, most of the research has been proven over and over again, a simple search on Google would attest to this. Facts are facts my friend, it can't be changed!

Mindfulness:


What has feminism got to do with the decision not to have children?

Everything! The decision to have or not have children should be left up to women since it's their body. This is the position most feminist firmly believe. If there's ever a woman, who is wealthy, over 40, single and with no kids then such a woman would be iconic or legendary in the eyes of feminist activist.



Are you saying that you are less capable of feeling passion, happiness, joy, motivation and enthusiasm compared to a female?

I love what you did there, positive reinforcement but don't forget about sadness, irritability, crying and so on. The truth is if you surveyed a 100,000 men and a 100,000 women and witness their mood over a period of time, the result is that you would find a higher number of emotional imbalance in the group of women compared to the group of men. Like I said use Google and do your research!

abbey621

Everything! The decision to have or not have children should be left up to women since it's their body. This is the position most feminist firmly believe. If there's ever a woman, who is wealthy, over 40, single and with no kids then such a woman would be iconic or legendary in the eyes of feminist activist.

I love what you did there, positive reinforcement but don't forget about sadness, irritability, crying and so on. The truth is if you SURVEYED a 100,000 men and a 100,000 women and witness their mood over a period of time, the result is that you would find a higher number of emotional imbalance in the group of women compared to the group of men. Like I said use Google and do your research!

Mindfulness:


Are you saying that there are no women over 40 who are wealthy and have no kids? And why would a feminist parade herself as child-less when she is supposed to propagate [b]choice and not a child-less lifestyle?
[/b]
And if a woman's happiness so much depends on having a family why do more and more successful, beautiful, wealthy women put off having children until their biological clock starts ticking loudly, till the very last minute? Is it because changing smelly diapers and having sleepless nights and a life full of worries about your child and is not as much fun as money and fame and a body in best shape?

Why would they put off what money is to men? Would you willingly wait till you are 40+ to get what you most desire?



Answer the question and stop asking me to look for evidence to prove your points.

Are you less capable of feeling passion, motivation, joy, happiness and enthusiasm than a female?

abbey621:


Why do you love leaving out points which contradicts your own? It's not wealthy women with no kids but wealthy women, who are single, with no kids and have no regrets. I'm sure you did well in school, learn to follow directions please! You did the same thing with your second argument, emotions are not just the happy ones, you must consider the unpleasant ones too, so in that regards I'm not going to answer you.

Now if your question went like this, do I feel less emotions than a female? The answer would be yes! From biological to psychological, women are built to be more emotional. There will always be exceptions but majority carries the vote, women are more sensitive to their emotions. Finally, I really would like to educate you more but you see that would just make it too easy. Search Google and do the research, I'm sure the knowledge gained will be much more valuable

Mindfulness:


I will include all the attributes that you have mentioned before and yet easily make the same point.

Why would a wealthy woman with no kids, who is single and 40+ and who has no regrets parade herself as a single, unmarried, 40+ and wealthy to propagate feminism? Is feminism anti children and anti marriage or pro choice? Does feminism value one lifestyle over the other or does it encourage choice?





Have you just admitted that you are not less emotional when it comes to positive emotions? We are getting there eventually.


And since you have mentioned Oprah Winfrey in your initial post. Here is what I found:


Winfrey, 59, told the magazine that she's never found motherhood particularly appealing — a nonchalance dating back to seventh grade, she said.

"While (best friend Gayle King) was having those kinds of daydreams, I was having daydreams about how I could be Martin Luther King."

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/oprah-winfrey-no-children-kids-hate-article-1.1545631


And I bet my ass that many women would sell their kids including their husband to live the life Oprah lives.

abbey621:



Where do I start from? Do you know that your lack of knowledge on this issue is really evident? There's no such thing as positive or negative emotions, emotions are emotions! Next, feminism is all about women's empowerment, this includes women having the right to decide whether they want kids or not among other issues. Oprah Winfrey that you mentioned is one of the biggest champion of feminism, if you don't understand this then it's just plain sad! Now let's move on to your other point, of all people in the world, you chose Oprah? Is she wealthy? Yes, over 40? Yes! Is she single? No!(Her man is Stedman Graham) Did she ever have a child? Yes(At the age of 14, Oprah delivered a child but unfortunately the child only survived for a couple of weeks, it was this traumatic experience that influenced her decision to go through life childless). Once again you've succeeded in making a mockery of yourself, try harder.....Drops mic!

[url]http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20765210,00.html[/url]

All 72 students from Oprah Winfrey's South African school graduate... and the brightest are off to universities in the U.S.

Winfrey spent $40million to give her girls a campus with computer and science labs, a library and a wellness centre at the school in Henley-On-Klip. None paid tuition fees.

The students are high-achievers, often from communities where schools are struggling to overcome the legacy of apartheid.

And as the South African school year nears its end, all 72 members of the school's first graduating class have been accepted to universities in South Africa or the U.S.

More than a dozen have received full scholarships.

Winfrey told her students that when you teach a girl, you teach a nation.

Mindfulness:


There are no positive neither negative emotions? Emotions are neutral? Happiness is not a positive emotion and sadness is not a negative emotion?

You struggle, mehn.

This is the most idiotic statement I have come across in 2016.



Now again to your original statement that EVERY woman over 40 who is unmarried and has no children has regrets.

Is Oprah unmarried? YES! Is she over 40? YES! HAs she got kids? NO! Does she regret having no kids? NO!

The truth is this, marriage is considered one of the components of having a successful life for women, it is placed very highly on their success pyramid. For men, it is way lower on the pyramid and considered way less important. For men, money is considered the top priority, this is why society blames the man for not being wealthy and blames the woman for not building or keeping her home(family). This leads us to the main question, what happens when we have misplaced priorities? When women start chasing money and career and men start chasing love? We have a disaster, a shift in the continuum of life and an hyperbolic sequence of negative consequences. This is why men who chase love find themselves being hurt by that same love and women who chase money end up regretting later on in life. Ask Oprah Winfrey why she decided she did not want to get married or have any kids? Her answer would be that it was her decision but deep down inside she was afraid of commitment and by the time she realized what was going on, it was too late. I see no reason why a woman can't have it all; success, fame, good home, sexy body, lovely kids and so on. The ultimate decision is deciding whether you are going to see marriage as an obstacle or an opportunity, are you going to see it as a negative or a positive? After all the richest woman in Africa (Alakija) enjoyed the benefits of marriage! So in totality, the Nigerian society is actually doing single successful women a huge favor by being on their case, as I am yet to see a 40 year old woman who can truly say she's happy being single without kids and with no regrets!

abbey621:




It may sound idiotic to your ignorant mind but emotions are just emotions, there's nothing positive or negative about them, once again Google is your friend, do your research!

Next, I have attached my original quote to show how foolish you truly are, notice the word I used was single(Is Oprah single? NO), so where did you come up with 'unmarried'? Oprah is not single therefore using her as your point of validation has failed. At this juncture it's clear that you are way below my level of intellect and any further discussion is an insult to me, perhaps you should change your moniker to Mindlessness, shalom!

The truth is this, marriage is considered one of the components of having a successful life for women, it is placed very highly on their success pyramid.