Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

Some kind of women sef... Will just use their hand and spoil their marriage..

op let that woman take that her son to the father of the child oh.. Before thunder from mugabe country strike her...


Which kind madness b that one, na u go dey hustle for another man pikin Wey e papa still dey..

Im really down and confused .just thought of coming on here today to free my mind.I was at least thinking shes gonna use her own dad name .I dont want to claim another mans son but for her using the guy name is really getting me worried.

If u care about ur wife and love the child as ur own tgen go ahead and tell her u want to adopt the boy ,so he can also bear ur name. Theres really no need training anoda mans child when he is alive and maybe able. Unless u dont care,but guess u do cos it realky disturbing u.

You need to ask and get some questions answered by your wife/her family and you really need to do your investigation concerning the young boy, to know the true extent of his existence. From there , you can then know your stand.

I really care but as my lawyer said, u cant adopt a child when the father is not dead.Maybe coz the father family is a well known Nigeria this is why she chose to use the name i dont know coz the father is a younger brother of a current sitting governor of one of our states. And the guy never even accepted the baby from birth.

ray121:
I really care but as my lawyer said, u cant adopt a child when the father is not dead.Maybe coz the father family is a well known Nigeria this is why she chose to use the name i dont know coz the father is a younger brother of a current sitting governor of one of our states. And the guy never even accepted the baby from birth.

Lol. You have gotten the answer yourself. Women are not contented. Not all women anyway. What she is trying to do is to buy the son glorious destiny down today by using the guys name because of the guys affluent family cos who knows the guy may come back to his senses and realize he has a child somewhere which the guy will easily claim and the son bearing the guy's surname makes it easy that the son is truly his. Finally, the son will be given a juicy political post and the money starts coming in and his mother starts enjoying. Your woman is selfish. She ought to have consulted you about the name thing since you are the one paying the money. The thing is that , are you even sure the son in question will help your children tomorrow incase such arises and he is in a better position to do so. All what your woman is doing is trying to reap the fruit of the son alone in future. Call a family meeting and let them know that you can't continue to shoulder the responsibility of the son if the name is not changed if that's what you really want. All the best.


Lalasticlala, kindly help op forward this to Frontpage. Thanks

Thanks alot.i do appreciate. God bless you.

ray121:
Thanks alot.i do appreciate. God bless you.

The mother I believe is buying future favour from the father of her child. There is no way the father won't be helping the boy in the nearer future no matter how small or less often. The mother also may be seeing or thinking that the best you could ever offer will never match that of the father's.

Have you thought of the fact that the child will most likely grow up to abandon you for his father even when the father never really cares from the beginning? A lot could cause this; wealth/poverty, etc. But blood ties will play the greatest role. This is Nigeria and Africa and not Americans. He is his father after all.

What am saying in essence is, if you must train him, don't place your hopes on him or expect that he must care cause he may not.
And in case things turns ugly in the future, accept them with open arms.

the lady knows what she is doing ,the sad part is that you are alteady married so you cant go back now.I doubt you are igbo though cos that boy should be answering your wife's maden surname not her babypapa name.until the babypapa comes for thrm both which isnt gonna happen anymore since you are now married now.
But what i'm trying to wrap my head around is how she has a one plus yr old son and also a daughter already for you.
did you court anf marry her while she was pregnant for another man? forgive my questions

ray121:
Hi everyone.I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. Im a young married guy and married to a single mother. initially i never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on .we now living together and had my own daughter for me.The step son started school now under my roof cos hes just a year plus now close to 2. i just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together .what should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? ive been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.pls what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

First off, How did you not know initially whether she was a single mum or not before going fully into a relationship with her?. She was meant to tell you all surrounding the child's birth and her plans for him then the choice would've been yours to accept everything in totality or not.

Secondly, you already accepted the child, and you're aware that since the father is alive, he'll definitely come for his child someday. Whatever you do for the child is because of the love you have for the mother so I don't get why you should be worried about her using the father's name as surname. Your wife has a choice to either use her father's name if she doesn't intend giving the child back to his biological father or using his father's name if she thought it was the right thing to do.

Have a son from another woman, so it's balanced. Problem solved

You accepted your fate and agreed to take care of the boy. I think you are too tolerant and she might be using that to her advantage. If you keep allowing her to have her way she might do worse.

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I will advice u to move on with your family, don't care about what your wife did... You are too young to for breaking home. When time come, the boy will know the different BTW You and and his real Father... Just make sure u take good care of that boy.. You don't know what he will become tomorrow.. Pls take good care of him.

Then for the single guys and ladies there..

Choose wisely whenever u ready to settle down,remember

RELATIONSHIP IS LIKE TV CHANNEL, YOU HAVE OPTIONS BUT U CAN NOT WATCH MORE THAN A CHANNEL TO THE REST OF YOUR LIFE..

Hmmm

Really?

This one strong o!! My Brother lets be sincere here even if the boy uses your own surname, The fact stands that he would still go back to his father in the nearest future, Your wife didnt make that decision herself, She must have been advised to do such but she ought to inform you, Dont let that deter the love u have for the innocent boy, Dont inflict anger on an innocent boy. The best thing is that even if you dont care for the boy that much before please do and treat the boy like your son and let the boy be proud to have you as his father.


Surname Or Not, The Future would actually determine who the boy would see or know as a father, Just treat him like your son and if anything happens accept it as your destiny. Dont let that deter your happiness because if you dont forgo this thought you will end up hating your wife soon. Life is short, You are married behave like one. Overlook somethings and care for the innocent boy. The future is bright...

please if there is anyone here that knows someone that sells big size palm slippers/slip ons please just mssg me or quote ..and shoes please...preferably size 46....like d ones in d pics

This sitting governors brother sef

You are just too funny bro

i dont see anything wrong in Registering the baby with his real fathers name,

You said you accepted her and the baby, does that mean you are the real father?

Do yours for God bro, This baby boy is surely your pride tomorrow..

Have a great day my brother.

The problem started when she refused to tell you she is a single mother before you married her.

Get your in-laws involved, to know the status of the boy to ascertain if the biological father has custodial right or by tradition the boy should bear his maternal grandfather's name or yours as now being married to his mother.

.

you been wan make she use your surname?.... Issit your sperm?.

give the son to his father na

It truly would have been weird, if she had enrolled the kid using your last name and if she is not from the East as the case might be, using her last name would not cross her mind.

However you look at it, the little boy have a father and you are the step-father. Most likely, when you 'accepted your fate and moved on", she took it literally and you may not have sat her down and give her the playbook on how things are going to work from there on.

Maybe, this is the time to have that seat-down-talk about this little innocent kid and come up with options to handle the situation. If I were you, and truly want to stay put in the marriage...I would like to know the Dad, this way you know what you are dealing with....because, no matter how you slice it, the kid is going to have a relationship with his Dad and as long as that is going on, your wife is going to have some interactions/meetings/etc with the baby-daddy....very soon, when the son visits with the Daddy and comes home, he will be bringing some learned behavior (maybe foreign to your home) from the Dad into your house, which your daughter could pick up...so, ignoring it, is not an option and not preparing for these is myopic....so, you have to embrace it, know the father and maybe hint on adoption with him, etc...

A year plus and your wife already have another child for you?

How did it happen?

How many months did you date her before tying the knot?

Did she cheat you with the said man?

Are you smart at all?

How can you marry a lactating lady and you don't know?