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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. (36404 Views)
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Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Mariangeles(f): 12:12am On Apr 10, 2018 |
luminouz: |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Adebowale89(m): 12:13am On Apr 10, 2018 |
luminouz: all women are romantic, that they are forming hard doesn't mean they're not as for me, I love hard lady and sometimes those with ego because I got their track so fast. i remember sometimes when one lady told me she's possess and I reply, don't u know a lady that's possess is my specs ![]() |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by luminouz(m): 12:15am On Apr 10, 2018 |
Adebowale89:Lol... Me too!!! The ones i avoid are d psychologically fvcked up ones!!!! |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Adebowale89(m): 12:17am On Apr 10, 2018 |
luminouz: on a serious note ladies ain't hard to handle so far you get A1 in your LMS |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Mariangeles(f): 12:18am On Apr 10, 2018 |
Pipedreams:That is why an Igbo marriage is way different from a Yoruba marriage! 7 Likes |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Mariangeles(f): 12:26am On Apr 10, 2018 |
missyadorable:You're definitely a man! 2 Likes |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Uberalles: 12:29am On Apr 10, 2018 |
4 months is long. In this case it was too easy to separate. 1. No children 2. It seems she had family in the same city.Mum brother sister The fact is Marriage takes a lot of sacrifice. It's meant for Adults.When I hear of separation the first thing that comes to mind is that they took the easy way out. First steps get talking .Try to rekindle what you both saw and liked in each other. Is it still there?Ask yourself do you still want this , is she awilling partner or has she moved on. This is the business end of the relationship the razzmataz is often well gone. Start dating again buy her gifts leave her messages. Let her know you missed her. Then resolve underlying issues.It usually cannot be swept under the carpet. Get commitment from each other to improve communication Ì You forget that you have to work on your union. Life is not easy there will always be ups and downs , trials and tribulations . It's easier when both sides work on this, one side can start but both parties must follow through. You cannot both be angry at the same time one party must be prepared to take a step back.This takes maturity and rational thinking.Concentrate on the positives .You cannot win alone winning is when you are together and can tolerate and forgive each other.No one is perfect. Good luck. Marriage can be a beautiful thing. |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Originalsly: 12:33am On Apr 10, 2018 |
Hmmm...separated for 4 months.... how long were you married? How long were you guys dating before you got married? Bro..you really need to reflect about the whole marriage..... was she really into you? Whatever the cause of the separation. .. there had to be warning signs. People are who they are... if you guys can't manage this first hurdle in the marriage. ..without a child..... forget about reconciliation and move on. You two are not meant for each other. |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by olaremint(m): 12:36am On Apr 10, 2018 |
Bros Four months is a long time and oceans have passed under the bridge, the fact that u people were married and she has made no moves since 4 months is a bitter but clear handwriting on the wall. you are not that important to her believe me when i say if a woman cares about u and marries u, even if u have physical disagreements , she would have soften up and people would have been coming to bother u on her behalf. move on bro and replace her so that you can rein your emotions. 2 Likes |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Jandexpat: 12:44am On Apr 10, 2018 |
doreto: I know of reconciliation after 4 years. Yes it can be done. Message her that you need to talk. Do not talk about past problem. Talk about good times and what you think your future would be like. Do dates first then go into counselling to talk about issues so you can both be objective without reliving those emotions. Hopefully it will grow from there. 2 Likes |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by nobilie: 12:45am On Apr 10, 2018 |
Pride is one of the biggest problems in marriage. Marriage today is not like that of our parents where our father was a macho man dishing out command like GOC. if you want your marriage back, humility and love is the key. With this, you'll not have communication problem with your wife. Even now, you don't know how to approach your wife. You should beg. Except you have made up your mind to get another wife. You didn't even mention how long you've been married. Let me inform you that the first 3 years for most people is the trying period. Women can be "stupid" some times. That's because they are wemen. A proud man shouldn't bother marrying an educated woman. Please go to the village and pick a follow follow as a wife. If you want your marriage to work, make her your sister and you'll see her better than she was. She'll become an angel that you will defend any day. Couples who don't pray and play together will have problem. If respect each other. Be her brother and daddy same time. See, its your marriage, you'll still do what you want even after our advice. Just trow pride away. 3 Likes |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by henribj(m): 12:46am On Apr 10, 2018 |
I am not married so pardon me if my suggestions don't make so much sense. Basically I would suggest you make a move to reconcile with your wife, in marriage there is bound to be issues and like you said what caused your separation is just a lack of understanding and poor communication coupled with insults, if you keep separating your self from one marriage or the other because you and wifey had a misunderstanding then I think you are not ready for marriage, the good thing is the trust level between you both is still good. So reach out to her and invite her out to somewhere nice and then get to know her thoughts on you both reconciling, and from there you will know what the next step will be. 5 Likes |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Temibabie(f): 12:55am On Apr 10, 2018 |
How can husband and wife be separated for months?like really,what kind of marriage is that?marriage is not meant for kids please,and how come your wife is so comfortable where she is for 4 months without hearing from you?mehn she get mind, her fam might be telling her not to call or text but if she truly get sense,she should find a way,poster try to take a step by calling her dad or the head of her family,no kill yourself with emotional abuse,reconciliation is a mutual thing,if she accepts fine and if she doesn't MOVE on already,thank God you guys don't have kids yet. Bikonu to the married ones,if you have ish with your hubby/wife don't wait this long before you apologize,you all should learn how to forgive,if your heart is like stone and you're always waiting for someone to beg you first,pls don't bother getting married,enjoy your bachelor/spinsterhood,this life is vanity so why make everything difficult. Op make a move but if it's not working you already know @pipedreams I swear you're a mean somebody ![]() 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Boss13: 1:11am On Apr 10, 2018 |
Use a mutual friend to ascertain her mindset. The mutual friend should pay her a visit and discuss life generally and bait her with the possibility of reconciliation. The mutual friend should not disclose the possibility of you reconciling, but ascertain her readiness to reconciliation in the case that she is interested. From the general discussion, the mutual friend can ascertain if she has moved on, like there is a man in her life or she still misses you. The mutual friend can also ascertain, from your wife’s perspective, what she thinks about the separation. 4 months is actually a long time, so in the case she is opened to reconciliation, don’t rush it. Take it slowly and gradually because she may have lost all love for you and I believe your relationship with her family members is toxic too. Don’t call or send text, you may not like the response. You have to ascertain her mindset on whether she may want to reconcile with you. 7 Likes |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Nobody: 1:13am On Apr 10, 2018 |
Ishilove:No offense ma'am but the op asked for help and all you've done is just to castigate him and revel in your superior understanding of marriage. If you are really experienced in these issues then we'd like to hear your possible solutions so the op can apply them and we younger, unmarried ones can learn. Thanks. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Boss13: 1:17am On Apr 10, 2018 |
AnonyNymous: It’s nairaland for you. Where everybody claims to know more but go about saying nothing and creating more issues 4 Likes |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by kalu61(m): 1:23am On Apr 10, 2018 |
doreto:communication!! that what killed my first and last relationship so far. l had this feelings she doesn't love me. I do the calling, texting and visiting. ln One of out chat she mistakingly said she sometimes called me when she wants to waste her bonus even though she realised this and apologized. l decided to put the relationship to test. l didn't call or text from days to weeks. After going the emotional struggle. l decided not to talk to her at all and she didn't care either. One day, l visited as mugu wey I beg, she was like. Hmm, long time. l think say you don't forget me na. l took her out and we talked thing over. When l told her l was walking away to see her reaction. She didn't give a dam shite then l knew l was the one in love. May be that's what is playing out. You think she doesn't loves you and if interested in the marriage should have call aleast. lm very sure if you had seen her flash/missed called you ego would be sacrificed. l personally hate third party. Call her, invite/visit for heart to heart talk aleast in the future you will not regret you would have done order wise. Make the move yourself. if she comes back fine, if not have clean conscience you did what you ought to do and move on. All the best man. 1 Like |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Brugo(m): 1:24am On Apr 10, 2018 |
Wow. I read (skimmed for some parts) the entire 4 pages and I have arrived at a simple conclusion. Nairaland is one of the WORST places to come to for advice. Oh! And there was a silly little distraction of a girl spoiling for attention on the thread, trying to provoke a response from the OP, but I am glad he didn't give the fly any. Now, that was quite amusing and satisfying too. ![]() The OP comes across as a man whom folks have learnt to keep away from, especially when he doesn't want to be bothered. That reputation may backfire (it probably has, in this case) when you need guidance and everyone has left you alone to sort out your own business. I have just one thing to tell you bruv. If you decide to initiate reconciliation, kindly prepare yourself for slights and innuendos. If you wear an armor of ego, you might not accomplish much. 4 Likes |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by kalu61(m): 1:32am On Apr 10, 2018 |
olaremint:l concur but he should through in the last option first. Make a move |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by BdorianGray(m): 1:37am On Apr 10, 2018 |
Ishilove: Hmmm...All hail the marriage savvy and suave Ishi.... Now weh d advice weh u manage give am...after this litany... Ishi...hmmm...hmmm.. OK ! 1 Like |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by spiritedtete: 1:48am On Apr 10, 2018 |
Deprofessional: Never use bad words in your home... you have been a good driver so far ... by what you wrote. May you grow in more wisdom to drive through even that darkest part of your marital journey. Weldone! For the thread OP. Hmmmm I have read all people have been saying it's painful and pitiable reading some comment.. many don't know really what marriage should be about. And you see you are actually suffering from it now..(you were once in that nativity world). Now that you are a grown man... there are no many options for you.... do you know your wife is also thinking that if you love her you will come for her... And since you have not reach out she will assume you are a joke and a mistake. Marriage is not secondary school relationship where u allow malice linger and wait for who to greet first. You are now a full grown man.. you have to been in control of your emotions and don't allow too much negativity block your senses. To my point; Call your wife on phone that you need to talk and it's very important even if it is the last time you will ever see her. Never hint her on phone about reconciliation. Keep her insuspesense. Your meeting should be one on one... look good and look calm. Look new too (But don't over do it). And be the man when you talk. Don't boost nor condemn any of her actions. And talk more about the future you envision with her when u guys got married and tell her the vision is still what you are holding till date. She is your wife and you still want her to be part of your future. NB; if she insist on no reconciliation.... just know she doesn't love you really... And please let her move on. Take the lesson to your next relationship. If you decide to have one again. Enough said! 3 Likes |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by UDUJ(m): 1:54am On Apr 10, 2018 |
EgunMogaji: Very true. 4 whole months and none bothered to contact each other. Just shows both parties don't respect each other and are no longer interested in the marriage. There is nothing to be salvaged. Move on. 2 Likes
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Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by BdorianGray(m): 2:01am On Apr 10, 2018 |
doreto: OK! Good say u wan attempt reconciliation. Ideas? Which kind idea? Ejor! O je lo gbadura..ask whatever u serve as God to direct you... Yes, I have personally seen cases of true reconciliation after deep marital separation.. I don even see longer than 4mths.. Share wetin again....? Abeg go ask Ishilove that one... ![]() |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by BdorianGray(m): 2:07am On Apr 10, 2018 |
AntiBrutus: OSI nor gini? Isi aki... Isi opioro mango... ![]() |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Azam101: 2:14am On Apr 10, 2018 |
EgunMogaji:Don't mind this guy words Oo! pls try and utilize every avenue to reconcile with your spouse since you still care about her a lot, love is real and Almighty Allah will make it work. |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Azam101: 2:16am On Apr 10, 2018 |
Mariangeles:Go n sit down who is talking about tribe here chronic bachelor like you. |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Diso60090(m): 2:17am On Apr 10, 2018 |
doreto:........ . Brother me think say you na guy |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by InvertedHammer: 2:22am On Apr 10, 2018 |
/ The most difficult thing in a marriage is not communication. It is whether the one you love really loves you or is it marriage of convenience. For all you didn't know, you could be the second choice and she still misses the first choice. You want to reconcile with your wife. Does she want reconciliation? You may be reconciling into being bathed with hot water and pepper. I always see good things in every bad situation. God is saving you. Forward ever; backward never. Good luck. If you see a lady that cherishes her husband, you will know... and vice versa. \ 5 Likes |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by sayisayi(m): 2:57am On Apr 10, 2018 |
[quote author=BellaElla post=66560253] I tell you. Wetin be miscommunication sef? I no like the way wey you dey talk to me? Abi You dey talk I no dey hear you? Abi I dey talk you no dey hear me? Abi you too talk? Abi you no dey talk? Abeg make person clear me biko. ![]() ![]() ![]() Who go know, go know? |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by NobleTallgee: 3:17am On Apr 10, 2018 |
You might need to contact me, this is obviously more of a personal question Talk, so I might have little to say here. But I have engaged in a conconcilation process of 20years separation. The wife left the man 20years and when I came into the pic a lot fhings changed and their communication increased. Although they are not yet back now because the woman is in not in Nigeria. Reach me with 08034571328. But before you do, ensure you sincerly want to reconcile with your wife or husband. Marriage is not easy, mattiage requires lots of work and sincerity. |
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by miredia(m): 3:30am On Apr 10, 2018 |
spiritedtete:You have made very cogent points but hear this, this should only be done for a woman whose love without a shadow of doubt cannot be brought to question otherwise be prepared to be the initiator of apologies until eternity(nothing wrong with that btw if that's your thing). Communication is futile where love is lacking. I say this boldly without mincing words, there's a certain kind of man whom this woman will get married to and will not muster the courage or pride to go two weeks without having sleepless nights and calling except off course the lines of disrespect(cheating and physical abuse) have being crossed. The question sir, is, are you this man? Or a second fiddle that is being managed. |
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