Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,207,747 members, 8,000,173 topics. Date: Tuesday, 12 November 2024 at 01:24 AM

I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. - Family (10) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. (36629 Views)

My Ex Wife Plead And Want Us To Reconcile / Should I Reconcile With My Wife Nairalanders / How I Reconcile With My Phone Engineer (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by waywardpikin: 2:52pm On Apr 10, 2018
MissRaine69:


A man trying to make his marriage work is not belittling himself he is trying . Telling him to ignore her and focus on life as a singleton is just reinforcing the notion most have of black men and their habits.

You don’t know what happened between the pair. As for you kudos on your life but what worked for you is not universal. What sort of role model is he for his children? Or does that not matter?

They don't have kids.
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by ehnkay: 3:18pm On Apr 10, 2018
EgunMogaji:


Served ko, called in. As usual in your flaccid shattered life, you’re late again.

$2 Lot lizard grin
Hope you're satisfied smiley
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by MrBottle: 3:25pm On Apr 10, 2018
waywardpikin:


They don't have kids.
They probably have a stronger bond than kids like maybe they buried a body together somewhere...or maybe my guys di.ck no dey rise when e see another babe. .you know how bad konji be.
It's making doreto to crawl on his knees even to the point of seeking advise from some warped personalities on nairaland just to get back to his wife honeypot. IMHO
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Sexyolori(f): 3:32pm On Apr 10, 2018
Pipedreams:


Why didnt the wife call? She is not submissive and humble. My two cents. OP If u call that lady, her and her family will insult and laugh hard at your silly ass. After all the gra gra na u come beg. This will give her the upper hand to insult you at will in future after all she will say she dey her papa house jejely dey enjoy and na u come disturb am with ur begging. If that woman is ur God given wife 3days will not pass she will call you and be begging and crying even if you were wrong. Men are created to be worshiped by their wives and their ego massaged. she is prideful or shagging another man. ur a man..Men arent weak. Man up boy!!!
just negodu this one... mtcheeew

1 Like

Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Sexyolori(f): 3:41pm On Apr 10, 2018
Pipedreams:


Why didnt the wife call? She is not submissive and humble. My two cents. OP If u call that lady, her and her family will insult and laugh hard at your silly ass. After all the gra gra na u come beg. This will give her the upper hand to insult you at will in future after all she will say she dey her papa house jejely dey enjoy and na u come disturb am with ur begging. If that woman is ur God given wife 3days will not pass she will call you and be begging and crying even if you were wrong. Men are created to be worshiped by their wives and their ego massaged. she is prideful or shagging another man. ur a man..Men arent weak. Man up boy!!!
just negodu this one...mtcheew
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Nobody: 3:55pm On Apr 10, 2018
ehnkay:

Hope you're satisfied smiley

By you?

Na I don’t do anfani adugbo cheesy
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by BlueScholar(m): 5:09pm On Apr 10, 2018
Lexusgs430:


Nah all this jamb questions go determine if road close or open nah, Oga mi...........

true grin
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by xtervaganza(m): 5:43pm On Apr 10, 2018
MissRaine69:


A man trying to make his marriage work is not belittling himself he is trying . Telling him to ignore her and focus on life as a singleton is just reinforcing the notion most have of black men and their habits.

You don’t know what happened between the pair. As for you kudos on your life but what worked for you is not universal. What sort of role model is he for his children? Or does that not matter?
if she does not care why should he? Thing is some of you ladies have become obscenely arrogant.


A woman who is separated for months and made ni attempt at reconciliation is no longer interested in the marriage. Him asking for reconciliation would mean humiliating himself over nothing.


He should try it. I'm 99% sure he would regret it
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Mariangeles(f): 5:57pm On Apr 10, 2018
grin
Azam101:
Go n sit down who is talking about tribe here chronic bachelor like you.
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by MissRaine69(f): 5:58pm On Apr 10, 2018
xtervaganza:
if she does not care why should he? Thing is some of you ladies have become obscenely arrogant.


A woman who is separated for months and made ni attempt at reconciliation is no longer interested in the marriage. Him asking for reconciliation would mean humiliating himself over nothing.


He should try it. I'm 99% sure he would regret it

There are two sides to a story. Why conclude based on one side?
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by ehnkay: 6:47pm On Apr 10, 2018
EgunMogaji:

By you?
Na I don’t do anfani adugbo cheesy
Okay cool
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by eelipumper(m): 7:00pm On Apr 10, 2018
[quote author=Lexusgs430 post=66504510]

They really do..... They simply add petrol to the burning fire, rather than look at burning issues, they start quoting scriptures and expect the woman to succumb....... [/quote>]
My dear, some pastors are different. They've also saved Marriages. Stop painting them all black.
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Blonchilli(m): 7:42pm On Apr 10, 2018
Ishilove:
'Miscommunication' and boom! Separation. Smh

People of nowadays don't know the meaning of marriage. They just jump in and jump out like they are playing jump rope. It is no longer sacred or till death do part.

They just like the razzmatazz of pre-wedding pictures and the glitz and glamour of weddings, which is why when storm hits the so-called marriage it collapses like a pack of cards because of faulty foundation. 80% of people getting married nowadays are not emotionally ready for the rigours of marriage
Don't mind these indomie generation married couple. They think it's pre wedding pictures that's marriage. So because you didn't talk for two days you left husband house and he lock up for four months. Tufiakwa!!!

1 Like

Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Nobody: 8:11pm On Apr 10, 2018
I couldn't read the whole thread. Can someone tell me op's final decision and outcome?
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Dazzle86(f): 8:21pm On Apr 10, 2018
doreto:
We are presently separated for 4 months with no contact/communication.The separation was not related to trust issues,but miscommunication,insults and the likes,no violence.

While I am in a great place emotionally,I want to attempt to reconcile our relationship.

I need ideas.Is it possible? If it is,has any one here seen a case of reconciliation after a deep marital separation? Please share with me.

Thanks.
First both parties have to want to come together. This does not concern family. Families may never reconcile but you have to take a bold step. Put ego aside. Its possible, speaking from personal experience.

Communicate with her,let her know you want your relationship back. If you dont ,years later you will always wonder if you did the right thing by just walking away.
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Lexusgs430: 10:49pm On Apr 10, 2018
[quote author=eelipumper post=66597073][/quote]

Unfortunately, a few drop of blood taints the river very quickly........
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by xtervaganza(m): 12:12am On Apr 11, 2018
MissRaine69:


There are two sides to a story. Why conclude based on one side?
the op did not tell us any story. So I don't see how I reached conclusion where there's no story.




My point is that we don't know why they are separated but if the lady is still interested she would have reached put to him directly or indirectly
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by eelipumper(m): 5:42am On Apr 11, 2018
Lexusgs430:


Unfortunately, a few drop of blood taints the river very quickly........
Hmmnm
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by deliciousgeh(f): 7:42am On Apr 11, 2018
Lexusgs430:


They really do..... They simply add petrol to the burning fire, rather than look at burning issues, they start quoting scriptures and expect the woman to succumb.......
Yes o especially if the husband has small change for pocket, they will heap all the blame on the wife and later call the man to ask for assistance which he will willingly provide; have been there, am still there but am getting out in Israel leave Egypt style and am taking my husband with me. No more pastor controls.... We go dey settle our matter ourselves!
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Lexusgs430: 8:21am On Apr 11, 2018
deliciousgeh:

Yes o especially if the husband has small change for pocket, they will heap all the blame on the wife and later call the man to ask for assistance which he will willingly provide; have been there, am still there but am getting out in Israel leave Egypt style and am taking my husband with me. No more pastor controls.... We go dey settle our matter ourselves!


Money, the root, stem and branch of all evils......

1 Like

Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Nobody: 9:18pm On Apr 12, 2018
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Nobody: 9:01am On Apr 13, 2018
After perusing this thread, weighting the pros and cons of courses of action as suggested by contributors, coupled with lots of self introspection as a result of the experiences while dating and marrying my ex,I have reached a decision to tow the path of honour.

To take my destiny in my own hands alone.To take the simple path and never look back.I will never be initiating reconciliation with my ex.

IDGAF. If they take the high road,help them pave it.Move on it is. Move on to the next. Move it must be.

According to some contributors, succeed. Success is the greatest attractor.

I must thank you all for your views and posts.

If it's hard,it's not working.Friction decreases efficiency,if I remember correctly.

I prefer simplicity in all my actions,that's mainly why I am taking this path. K.I.S.S.

Thank you all once again.

Have a splendid day, people!
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by coolcatty: 9:58am On Apr 13, 2018
doreto:
After perusing this thread, weighting the pros and cons of courses of action as suggested by contributors, coupled with lots of self introspection as a result of the experiences while dating and marrying my ex,I have reached a decision to tow the path of honour.

To take my destiny in my own hands alone.To take the simple path and never look back.I will never be initiating reconciliation with my ex.

IDGAF. If they take the high road,help them pave it.Move on it is. Move on to the next. Move it must be.

According to some contributors, succeed. Success is the greatest attractor.

I must thank you all for your views and posts.

If it's hard,it's not working.Friction decreases efficiency,if I remember correctly.

I prefer simplicity in all my actions,that's mainly why I am taking this path. K.I.S.S.

Thank you all once again.

Have a splendid day, people!

Great decision bro...


My favourite uncle that had your kind of problems used to say..''it is better your inlaws sees you as a wicked man than a weak man''..never you appear weak to your inlaws..especially igbo inlaws

Let it go...take your time and fall in love again...good women dey....if that one doesn't work out..you try again..just keep trying.

Goodluck man
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Nobody: 10:53am On Apr 13, 2018
coolcatty:


Great decision bro...


My favourite uncle that had your kind of problems used to say..''it is better your inlaws sees you as a wicked man than a weak man''..never you appear weak to your inlaws..especially igbo inlaws

Let it go...take your time and fall in love again...good women dey....if that one doesn't work out..you try again..just keep trying.

Goodluck man

Did your uncle move on?
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by coolcatty: 11:03pm On Apr 13, 2018
Pipedreams:


Did your uncle move on?

Niggah is married with 3 kids now....his 1st daughter is in jss2 now.
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Nobody: 11:08pm On Apr 13, 2018
coolcatty:


Niggah is married with 3 kids now....his 1st daughter is in jss2 now.

Did he have any kids in d 1st marriage?
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by ikemeze: 4:06am On Apr 14, 2018
Butterflyleo:
@ doreto, This is one of the reasons why nairaland is one of the worst places to come to for relationship advice. It is littered with all sorts. People with their own personal psychological issues and bad experiences garnered in their own corner who are looking for people to misadvise based on their flawed perspectives and reactions. Mtcheew

OP its cool to want to be a peace maker and to desire to fix your marriage. I do agree that 4 months is a bit too long to have let this linger but I also believe that with the right mindset and determination, anything can be fixed.

Putting aside all the miscommunication you talked about, if you still feel your wife is a gem in other areas, then make an effort and get the ball rolling in that direction. At least now you both know better and once you know where both of you have erred and agree on this, then that makes the entire process and both your futures in the marriage a whole lot easier.

Send her an SMS or call her or even send her a gift with a message from your heart. Woo her afresh. Make her feel special and let her realise that you never stopped thinking about her despite the 4 months apart.

Ignore those who are asking you to move on. Move on to who? Do you think there is an angelic woman out there? There is a reason you as the man is called A BRIDEGROOM. You are meant to groom your wife to become the person you would be proud of. NEVER shirk this responsibility or take it for granted. With the right kind of love, you can bring out the best in your wife and also with a wrong attitude, you can bring out the beast in her.

Be willing to accept the blame even when you are innocent. You are built to endure as a man, she isn't. Take much of the rap for her sake. Remember, she is a weaker vessel.

Most of all, learn to fix things quickly. Fire dies over time. Never allow the fire of love and passion towards your spouse to die off due to procrastination.


EgunMogaji and his likes this advice goes to you too. Marriage is not microwaved. Its not a drive through. It is a very special aspect of ones life that builds potential, worth, and matured views to life. Mess with it and you mess with you.

please send me message tonymez2002@yahoo.com
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Nobody: 4:18am On Apr 14, 2018
Op thinks there are many fishes in the ocean... Bros na crayfish remain inside that water o. Make e no go clear for your eyes like my ex! Pride and ego is destructive.

1 Like

Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Butterflyleo: 7:37am On Apr 14, 2018
ikemeze:


please send me message tonymez2002@yahoo.com

Replied
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Aquablue: 11:44am On Apr 15, 2018
doreto:
After perusing this thread, weighting the pros and cons of courses of action as suggested by contributors, coupled with lots of self introspection as a result of the experiences while dating and marrying my ex,I have reached a decision to tow the path of honour.

To take my destiny in my own hands alone.To take the simple path and never look back.I will never be initiating reconciliation with my ex.

IDGAF. If they take the high road,help them pave it.Move on it is. Move on to the next. Move it must be.

According to some contributors, succeed. Success is the greatest attractor.

I must thank you all for your views and posts.

If it's hard,it's not working.Friction decreases efficiency,if I remember correctly.

I prefer simplicity in all my actions,that's mainly why I am taking this path. K.I.S.S.

Thank you all once again.

Have a splendid day, people!

I know I am late to the party but Op,u need to man up and extend the olive branch.
Especially she walked out on you.
The grass is never greener on the other side,u just av to water ur own grass.
Be the gentleman and take up the responsibility of texting and calling,till she openly tells you face to face that she isn't interested in the marriage.
Swallow ur ego o
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by Nobody: 6:13pm On Apr 15, 2018
That train has left the station.People should especially stop harping on swallowing egos as a defeatist concept.If I accept I even have ego and then swallow it,it'll still be in me. grin grin grin

If I want to display ego,my reaction would be no beautiful woman can leave me and start grovelling for her to return but I have let her go.This means I really don't act out of ego.I take my ballsy(just the same way I took the surprising decision to marry her) decisions based on sound analysis and strategy. cool cool cool

Remember if you don't stand for something,you'll fall for anything.This is what man up means.You are brave and bold-and damn all the consequences. wink wink wink

Thank you for caring though. kiss
Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by InvertedHammer: 6:25pm On Apr 15, 2018
/
The greatest killer is "my case will be different" until the inevitable happens.

If you think your destiny is tied to your ex, then go for reconciliation.

In all, you haven't factored in why the marriage fell apart neither have you
considered if she is open for reconciliation.

I can only wish you luck while praying that you don't become part of statistics.

Don't ever get married to a losing position. Pull a stop loss.

/

(1) (2) (3) ... (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (Reply)

Dad Weeps As His Son Gifts Him A Car (Photo, Video) / Home DNA Test Kit - Is This The Expected “Apocalypse”? / Obituary Of A Couple In Enugu And Their 5 Children (Photo)

Viewing this topic: 1 guest(s)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 55
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.