MissRaine69:


A man trying to make his marriage work is not belittling himself he is trying . Telling him to ignore her and focus on life as a singleton is just reinforcing the notion most have of black men and their habits.

You don’t know what happened between the pair. As for you kudos on your life but what worked for you is not universal. What sort of role model is he for his children? Or does that not matter?

EgunMogaji:


Served ko, called in. As usual in your flaccid shattered life, you’re late again.

$2 Lot lizard

waywardpikin:


They don't have kids.

Pipedreams:


Why didnt the wife call? She is not submissive and humble. My two cents. OP If u call that lady, her and her family will insult and laugh hard at your silly ass. After all the gra gra na u come beg. This will give her the upper hand to insult you at will in future after all she will say she dey her papa house jejely dey enjoy and na u come disturb am with ur begging. If that woman is ur God given wife 3days will not pass she will call you and be begging and crying even if you were wrong. Men are created to be worshiped by their wives and their ego massaged. she is prideful or shagging another man. ur a man..Men arent weak. Man up boy!!!

Pipedreams:


Why didnt the wife call? She is not submissive and humble. My two cents. OP If u call that lady, her and her family will insult and laugh hard at your silly ass. After all the gra gra na u come beg. This will give her the upper hand to insult you at will in future after all she will say she dey her papa house jejely dey enjoy and na u come disturb am with ur begging. If that woman is ur God given wife 3days will not pass she will call you and be begging and crying even if you were wrong. Men are created to be worshiped by their wives and their ego massaged. she is prideful or shagging another man. ur a man..Men arent weak. Man up boy!!!

ehnkay:

Hope you're satisfied

Lexusgs430:


Nah all this jamb questions go determine if road close or open nah, Oga mi...........

MissRaine69:


A man trying to make his marriage work is not belittling himself he is trying . Telling him to ignore her and focus on life as a singleton is just reinforcing the notion most have of black men and their habits.

You don’t know what happened between the pair. As for you kudos on your life but what worked for you is not universal. What sort of role model is he for his children? Or does that not matter?

Azam101:
Go n sit down who is talking about tribe here chronic bachelor like you.

xtervaganza:
if she does not care why should he? Thing is some of you ladies have become obscenely arrogant.


A woman who is separated for months and made ni attempt at reconciliation is no longer interested in the marriage. Him asking for reconciliation would mean humiliating himself over nothing.


He should try it. I'm 99% sure he would regret it

EgunMogaji:

By you?
Na I don’t do anfani adugbo

Ishilove:
'Miscommunication' and boom! Separation. Smh

People of nowadays don't know the meaning of marriage. They just jump in and jump out like they are playing jump rope. It is no longer sacred or till death do part.

They just like the razzmatazz of pre-wedding pictures and the glitz and glamour of weddings, which is why when storm hits the so-called marriage it collapses like a pack of cards because of faulty foundation. 80% of people getting married nowadays are not emotionally ready for the rigours of marriage

doreto:
We are presently separated for 4 months with no contact/communication.The separation was not related to trust issues,but miscommunication,insults and the likes,no violence.

While I am in a great place emotionally,I want to attempt to reconcile our relationship.

I need ideas.Is it possible? If it is,has any one here seen a case of reconciliation after a deep marital separation? Please share with me.

Thanks.

MissRaine69:


There are two sides to a story. Why conclude based on one side?

Lexusgs430:


Unfortunately, a few drop of blood taints the river very quickly........

Lexusgs430:


They really do..... They simply add petrol to the burning fire, rather than look at burning issues, they start quoting scriptures and expect the woman to succumb.......

deliciousgeh:

Yes o especially if the husband has small change for pocket, they will heap all the blame on the wife and later call the man to ask for assistance which he will willingly provide; have been there, am still there but am getting out in Israel leave Egypt style and am taking my husband with me. No more pastor controls.... We go dey settle our matter ourselves!

doreto:
After perusing this thread, weighting the pros and cons of courses of action as suggested by contributors, coupled with lots of self introspection as a result of the experiences while dating and marrying my ex,I have reached a decision to tow the path of honour.

To take my destiny in my own hands alone.To take the simple path and never look back.I will never be initiating reconciliation with my ex.

IDGAF. If they take the high road,help them pave it.Move on it is. Move on to the next. Move it must be.

According to some contributors, succeed. Success is the greatest attractor.

I must thank you all for your views and posts.

If it's hard,it's not working.Friction decreases efficiency,if I remember correctly.

I prefer simplicity in all my actions,that's mainly why I am taking this path. K.I.S.S.

Thank you all once again.

Have a splendid day, people!

coolcatty:


Great decision bro...


My favourite uncle that had your kind of problems used to say..''it is better your inlaws sees you as a wicked man than a weak man''..never you appear weak to your inlaws..especially igbo inlaws

Let it go...take your time and fall in love again...good women dey....if that one doesn't work out..you try again..just keep trying.

Goodluck man

Pipedreams:


Did your uncle move on?

coolcatty:


Niggah is married with 3 kids now....his 1st daughter is in jss2 now.

Butterflyleo:
@ doreto, This is one of the reasons why nairaland is one of the worst places to come to for relationship advice. It is littered with all sorts. People with their own personal psychological issues and bad experiences garnered in their own corner who are looking for people to misadvise based on their flawed perspectives and reactions. Mtcheew

OP its cool to want to be a peace maker and to desire to fix your marriage. I do agree that 4 months is a bit too long to have let this linger but I also believe that with the right mindset and determination, anything can be fixed.

Putting aside all the miscommunication you talked about, if you still feel your wife is a gem in other areas, then make an effort and get the ball rolling in that direction. At least now you both know better and once you know where both of you have erred and agree on this, then that makes the entire process and both your futures in the marriage a whole lot easier.

Send her an SMS or call her or even send her a gift with a message from your heart. Woo her afresh. Make her feel special and let her realise that you never stopped thinking about her despite the 4 months apart.

Ignore those who are asking you to move on. Move on to who? Do you think there is an angelic woman out there? There is a reason you as the man is called A BRIDEGROOM. You are meant to groom your wife to become the person you would be proud of. NEVER shirk this responsibility or take it for granted. With the right kind of love, you can bring out the best in your wife and also with a wrong attitude, you can bring out the beast in her.

Be willing to accept the blame even when you are innocent. You are built to endure as a man, she isn't. Take much of the rap for her sake. Remember, she is a weaker vessel.

Most of all, learn to fix things quickly. Fire dies over time. Never allow the fire of love and passion towards your spouse to die off due to procrastination.

EgunMogaji and his likes this advice goes to you too. Marriage is not microwaved. Its not a drive through. It is a very special aspect of ones life that builds potential, worth, and matured views to life. Mess with it and you mess with you.

ikemeze:


please send me message tonymez2002@yahoo.com

doreto:
After perusing this thread, weighting the pros and cons of courses of action as suggested by contributors, coupled with lots of self introspection as a result of the experiences while dating and marrying my ex,I have reached a decision to tow the path of honour.

To take my destiny in my own hands alone.To take the simple path and never look back.I will never be initiating reconciliation with my ex.

IDGAF. If they take the high road,help them pave it.Move on it is. Move on to the next. Move it must be.

According to some contributors, succeed. Success is the greatest attractor.

I must thank you all for your views and posts.

If it's hard,it's not working.Friction decreases efficiency,if I remember correctly.

I prefer simplicity in all my actions,that's mainly why I am taking this path. K.I.S.S.

Thank you all once again.

Have a splendid day, people!