JAMESOJAY:
If same thing happens to your son when gets married what will you say?

wordbank:

Your dad represents a unicorn and his reasons to be exceptional is understandable though not that acceptable.
Your family foundation seem to have some good level of trust not in this woman's case.
I don't know your sex, but put yourself in her husband's shoes and feel betrayed. She have nothing next to openness in marriage, so how do you expect the man to live in same house with her?
Property ownership may not be his outburst but her intentions which in no way favour the family.
This same woman can wake up one morning and tell her husband that their children are not his.

Demure1:


Gberudani, I am happily married read my previous posts to get a better view of my marriage.

Are you married ?, because if you are also responsibly married you would know that if the table were turned and she used her own resources to help her family there's no way the man will put only her name on the document like he is imposing right now.

She said joint the man refused and said he wants only his name there and am sure no sensible person will agree to that rubbish.

Demure1:



Thank you ooo, I don't understand why a woman cant own properties simply because she married.

I am married and my properties are in my name, have not seen the person that will tell me to change it to my husband's name. His properties are in his name too and everyone is happy.

I don't even understand the whole rationale behind putting his name and giving him joint ownership when it's your house, only your name deserves to be on the document. Haba
You claim you are thinking about the kids then why is he not also thinking about them too and threatening divorce is he not their father or you gave birth to them alone?.

crackhaus:
... it's that obvious and I must be nuts if I'm the only one sensing this.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

proffemi:


Oh, you're not nuts. Far from it, in fact.
I was looking forward to the Op answering some of the questions already posed, but she's maintained a studious silence, even though she's come online a number of times. This too tells me something (unless "She's" a Nollywood producer after all )

baby124:

It was her part of the business to do with what she pleased. She could have put it in a bank and sat on it. Instead she bought land with her husband’s knowledge. Of course she will register it in her name and not her husband’s. Did he present the cash gift to his parents as coming from his wife? He didn’t bother to discuss ownership of the land with her when she purchased it so why now? Is it because he’s ashamed that she claimed ownership of the house to his face and his ego is bruised? His plans failed to throw her and HIS kids out. Now he abandoned his family and went on his way because of land. He’s mad. By the way, hat my dad did is acceptable. That is what fit his family and he’s not a unicorn. Many men do the same!

LewsTherin:


Ok, got that.

Now like I said, normally, I am all for playing the fool in a relationship but your husband has set a bad precedent. First, he changed a joint agreement meant for your joint family in favour of his own family. Then he kicked you out of his house (as he thought it was). Then he insists you use your share of a joint decision, a decision that he reneged on, for his own benefit. Insisted on that twice ie before he knew it was in yiur name and after he knew it was in your name.

That is not good. Basically he has shown he is willing to abandon you and your kids if he “feels” like it. Sweetheart, no offense intended, but you don't have a good husband.

My advice to you and those in similar straits is
First, pray for your husband. Pray for God to change his person, to change his ways. If he claims to be a Christian, he sure as heck isn't showing Christ-like characters

Plan for your kids. Not to the exemption of your husband, but until he shows he can be different, plan to be able to live without him for your kids. I didn't say leave him. I said to be able to live without him. Different things.

Like you have been adviced, get an independent third party to mediate and see how that goes. I understand why you don't want to let your family know but it is dicey if they don't especially as he has involved his family from the beginning. I don't agree, but I understand. Maybe a compromise will be to tell your dad. Not your mum, not your sisters. Women by nature are very emotional and they can let their emotions overwhelm them. Tell your dad in confidence and ask him to keep it that way.

Finally, under no circumstances whatsoever should you add his name to that document. In mediations, the best you should do is to place the property in a trust for your children. Children! Not you, not him, not Mr and Mrs. Put it in the names of ALL your kids with a caveat that it cannot be sold by any one until all kids are above 18 years old.

Most of all, seek mediation and pray a lot for him.

My own advice.

Eketem:
I am confused as to why you are begging him.

You both got paid from a business
He used his own share for his parents, you used your own to build a house now he got angry and decided to kick you out of your own house, you told him it wasn't possible.

He gets angry and moves out
Let him stay out, he is a wicked man that would have been happy to see you out on the streets with your kids begging him up and down.

I don't understand why you are now begging him.

I don't know why Nigerian women are so desperate to keep wicked men

bukatyne:


He wants to fully own a house he did not build?

Hmmmm.

You said your husband is a good man; you are the only person with the licence to declare him good so he is.

The next question is 'What did you do to piss off a good husband so much that he wanted you to pack out and when you couldn't, abandoned you in the house?'

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Eketem:
I am confused as to why you are begging him.

You both got paid from a business
He used his own share for his parents, you used your own to build a house now he got angry and decided to kick you out of your own house, you told him it wasn't possible.

He gets angry and moves out
Let him stay out, he is a wicked man that would have been happy to see you out on the streets with your kids begging him up and down.

I don't understand why you are now begging him.

I don't know why Nigerian women are so desperate to keep wicked men

Obason22:
may be people like u would prefer to live under their wife, that is why u have refused to work and make plan for future cos u want to get married to a lady that will built mansion for u to live, shameless thing like u.

divinelove:


What's the purpose of this thread since the man has left everything for her and left already. Why is the lady crying all over the place, playing the victim card, let her go n marry the house n stop crying now. The divorce she planned for is here already, what an evil woman that destroyed her home for common property.
The man is very right to get angry over this massive betrayal of a devilish woman. Let the woman move on too like the man since the man is not even dragging anything or do his bidding as her husband n stop crying already.

Submission of a married woman is not negotiable, do the will of your husband or divorce him period, u can't eat your cake n have it.

I hope the house is a mansion and worth all these stress after all, good luck to both parties in their future endeavors

Demure1:


Yes they had plans but he went and used his money to build a house for his family like the doesn't have parents too abi?.

Martinez19:
lol. What sort of husband is that? Madam, if you love yourself, don't change the name to his. That man is full of pride, manipulative and mean. He wanted to throw you out of the house? If his name was on it, you would have been out. It's either he loves you or not. If he can't swallow his pride and strive to mend your relationship for the sake of love then forget the mean man. Who throws his wife that loves him out of the house over a mere disagreement?

He can't eat his cake and have it.

paulynpen:



Submission my foot, you do not buy submission, you earn it. The woman know her husband very well and she is justified now by his action. She would have been on the street now and you are here talking about submission? Are you human? Do you have conscience? Why do you keep threatening women with divorce? Divorce affect both parties even the men more if the woman is really serious. It is because of people like you who spend their money on frivolous things that they speak I'll of men. You are caring because your kind has fallen victim of its own trap, if it was the other way round you will still find a way to blame the woman, you see why I called you a weak man?. Justice,empathy and sincerity has no meaning to you, but oppression and male chauvinism. Some men are men just because of their organ nothing more, its a pity

divinelove:


Shut up already
U are full of shit
Demented goat without common sense

CSTR1005:

Alright then.

At least she has a house to sell or lease to take care of her children and then hope some man somewhere finds her interesting enough to come in and play the role of a father for her children and a companion.

By then, the husband would have moved on, rent a new house, find a new woman he trusts to respect him and build a family with him.

Win -win.

jadyclem:


if she wasn't cool with how he was going to spend his, she should have show objected. but she accepted and seem cool with. didn't you heard her say that they both planned for the house and built it together?

bro, in marriage, whatever you are not cool with, you let your partner know and both of you trash it. sincerely, only very few men will accept what she did. such action has a very negative message it passes to the other partner.

CSTR1005:
The woman is terrible and I understand the husband's point of view.

He asked her to pack out like any average Nigerian man threatens when they are very annoyed. He was probably never going to see it through on the long run.

Only to have his wife deflect his ego that the property he thought was a family asset belonged to his wife.
A massive treachery.

I am sure he is never going to stay in that house again. He'd rather rent his own house than live there.

If the woman knows what is good for her, she'd better retrace her steps and change the ownership to a family name or in the children's names.

If not, That guy would go out there and get a new wife in time and rent a new house, and she would be stuck with three children.

divinelove:


Alot is at stake here ( except the woman wants a divorce) and we are talking about husband and wife here. In a family the husband is the head and taking a major decision like house owner ship without his knowledge and approval is unacceptable moreso sole ownership as a married woman.

The man has moved on already n his wife is the one crying all over the place now even with sole ownership left for her already. My brother it's not DT easy to say bleep him other wise the wife won't be here crying when the man has left everything for her already. It's not like the man is dragging anything he left everything.

Whose idea was the biz that brought all d money DT caused this problem?

Let them shift grounds, they have alot of juicy joint businesses ahead.

Concead 60% ownership to the man and make peace n save the marriage

divinelove:


Calm down
Husband and wife ordinarily are supposed to be one, all these are caused by lack of trust and firm believe in oneness. The man married the woman and not the other way round. The husband is head to his wife n DTS not hard to figure out.

Any woman who cannot stay under a man should not consider marriage, after all marriage is not a must

LewsTherin:


Watch your mouth you filthy aes sedai pet! Have you read all the books? All 15?

Mother's milk in a cup but every now and then I read book 15 over again. Now is a good time to start again. I got nothing better to do anyways