pardon my blunders.
I was aware she has a baby before we met but still continued the relationship because the baby is with the father. she told me it was a mistake and the guy's family doesn't support their relationship. so they went their different ways while the guy kept the baby.

when we started, I found out she's humble, hardworking and she's everything I ever wanted in a woman. so we got married 4 years ago and have a 3 year old son and 2 beautiful twins (just 3 months old).

now the problem started when she went to church and her ex brought her 7 years old daughter unannounced. that he's married now and can't continue taking Care of the girl.
she called me from church and told me. immediately I told her not to bring a child thats not mine to me. she now took the baby to her mom and came home to meet me with my kids.
she has been begging me since to allow the baby in our home because the mother gave her 3 days to come and take her baby from her.

nairalanders pls I need your advice on this. those it make sense that I take the baby while the father is out there enjoying his life.

do all the necessary documentation and adopt the child to be your own, you never can tell who she will be in future, don't abandon her, because it might hunt your wife and frustrate your marriage.
May God lead you towards the right path.

If you truly love the woman. Take the 7 year old kid.

Put your self in the child's shoe....,.... Live and let's live

Since your wife is hard working and is capable of taking care of the boy, nothing bad if her baby is with her ok. Blood is ticker than water so she can't let her product be far from her as you will never allow your child be taking away from you. Any body can fall prey to the love bait of boys and girls this day.

If you mistakenly have a child outside, you will think of bring him home and either appeal or force your wife to live with your boy abi.

I'm talking from experience because I married my wife with 6 years old boy and now I have a girl and a boy now they are three altogether and we live together. I ensure that all the three bear my surname and my wife agree and till this moment I claim him as my firstborn of my family and all the children see them self as the same father the same mother unknowingly.

So nothing is special or bad in married-after-one parent as a wife if she makes you happy and support you financially, spiritually, emotionally and prayerfully. My wife loves me like she can die for me nothing thinking twice on my cause because I ensure that all that consigns her is taking care off always.

Allow peace to rain in your home and don't allow people to confuse you with their local knowledge.

Take the boy home and make your wife happy ok.

I don't know how people go about critical issues with mere assumption and levity.

You're really in for a long thing bro. Your wife's baby daddy is a psych and you got to be careful of any action you're taking about the lil girl. Ensure proper documentation on any decision and also make sure it's legal.

Open your doors to the child young man. Do you want God to be angry with you?



Biko i no wan vex, my esteemed first bank customers, pls click the link on my signature for good news..

You marry a woman with a child without the slightest consideration that the child will be with her mum someday? Oga you're being unfair. The child did not ask be born and certainly doesn't deserve to be tossed around like a frisbee. Even if you don't contribute towards her upkeep, let her be with her mum pls.

when you were getting married to this lady don't you know that u become the step father to that young girl and should be getting ready for this day becos she is a gel who wil need her mother's help one day......



it's your fate that you consciously desired to take not know the full consequences...that's all.

dingbang:
Open your doors to the child young man. Do you want God to be angry with you?

I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus they say she is "AFTER ONE"

Please go and take care of the child, bring her to your house,tidy up the necessary documents that would picture her as your child and besides she is even a "female", I believe you understand where am heading to by that..
And remember, this is also about your wife's emotion, if you really love her,then you will respect her emotions the more...
Be a husband your wife will continually adore and who knows,that baby may add a tonic to your bloodstream tomorrow.
Goodluck to the real man.

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus she is "AFTER ONE"

so where do you want the child to stay? On the streets?

Please let's practice Christianity in truth and in spirit .

dominique:
You marry a woman with a child without the slightest consideration that the child will be with her mum someday? Oga you're being unfair. The child did not ask be born and certainly doesn't deserve to be tossed around like a frisbee. Even if you don't contribute towards her upkeep, let her be with her mum pls.

being with the mum means being with me. I don't think I want that.
have read so many comments here where people are calling me names and saying am selfish without even considering if I have the means to take care of her plus my kids. but no one is blaming the useless father who abandoned her daughter because he is married.
I know for sure my woman won't take it if its the other way round.

I only seek advice and if you want to blame me, I will say you should first put yourself in my shoes

dingbang:
so where do you want the child to stay? On the streets?

Please let's practice Christianity in truth and in spirit .

same way I was thinking why can't the mom (my mother in-law) also keep ber

NairalandFAYOSE:
same way I was thinking why can't the mom (my mother in-law) also keep ber

because her mom, your wife is alive!

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus she is "AFTER ONE"

Are you sure she is your wife or you're telling us a story here... what's the meaning of "after one"?
Forgive me,you sound childish here.
And I hate stuff like " my family this, my family that" in marriage issues.
For me...My marriage is fucking my business and the woman am married to...NO THIRD PARTY.
NO one sent me.

Wow! I thought marriage means parties to the deed have agreed to accept each other with all their baggage...pls be kind. The girl is your daughter too!

Man up and accept the child; love and treat her like your biological children (her siblings).

NairalandFAYOSE:
being with the mum means being with me. I don't think I want that

So what is wrong with her being with you? Is she subhuman? You can't claim to love your wife and can't stand the child that came from her. How do you think your wife will feel knowing that her baby is being maltreated somewhere because you don't want her under your roof? Honestly you're being inconsiderate, you should never have married a single mum if you can't stand her child.

take that baby in not for any reason but just for this reason........she is human....tomorrow even if she did not remember you,your reward will be with the creator...

4 d Luv u ve 4 ur wife & 4 d sake of humanity let her come 2 ur home. It's not lyk ur wife is imposing her on u b rather asking. Be there 4 ur wife & don't let d innocent girl's irresponsible father's act get 2 u. U won't know wat d little girl has gone through psychologically even ur wife.
Pls if u do allow her in, pls don't see as a mistake let d love 4 ur wife extend 2 her. Ur wife will b happier & in turn respect u more cos u ve come aut strong & understanding her.
Pls don't give 2 much thought 2 wat neighbours & friends wu say. Cover ur wife's shame

Op what if you were the one that had the child? No advise will be potent as the decision you will personally take. But my 1 kobo is that you allow her so that she will have rest of mind and settle down to manage the home. Anything short of that, you will have a divide attention from her and your home will be in crisis.

On a second thought, that girl may turn to be of help to you in the future. No one knows tomorrow

Honestly, you know from the scratch that she has a child and you fell in love with her.

Man, let her bring that child in, trust me, that child needs a father urgently. If she grows up to know you as her father, that's beautiful. If not, you're gonna create a barrier between that child and her siblings and see, you might not be able to handle the outcome in the NEAREST FUTURE...




But I still think you should follow your heart and brain

Hmmmm! Wish you all the very best in your decision op.

My sister's hubby begged her to bring her daughter. The kid is all grown now, everyone think he's the dad, he loves her, she loves him, they have two other kids....Life goes on

It's

NairalandFAYOSE:
pardon my blunders.
I was aware she has a baby before we met but still continued the relationship because the baby is with the father. she told me it was a mistake and the guy's family doesn't support their relationship. so they went their different ways while the guy kept the baby.

when we started, I found out she's humble, hardworking and she's everything I ever wanted in a woman. so we got married 4 years ago and have a 3 year old son and 2 beautiful twins (just 3 months old).

now the problem started when she went to church and her ex brought her 7 years old daughter unannounced. that he's married now and can't continue taking Care of the girl.
she called me from church and told me. immediately I told her not to bring a child thats not mine to me. she now took the baby to her mom and came home to meet me with my kids.
she has been begging me since to allow the baby in our home because the mother gave her 3 days to come and take her baby from her.

nairalanders pls I need your advice on this. those it make sense that I take the baby while the father is out there enjoying his life.

Plz take the daughter as urs..God will bless u for dat.

Ok

It's a trap, She wants to confirm if you're truly a paedophile, You and I need know you will fall for it & press the girls breast when she's 13, .