Odobopa:

So what's your point bros.. Should he accept the kid or not?

no point...people condemning OP should condemn the father...OP has plans and that child is not part of his initial plan because he was with her father who has now rejected her....Op has to make a new life plan to include the daughter...people castigating him and not the gals father are very unfair...

NCANTaskForce:
It's a trap, She wants to confirm if you're truly a paedophile, You and I need know you will fall for it & press the girls breast when she's 13, .

Lol

kunle75:


Thank you maybe Kardashian family will come to mind .
Their stepfather did most of the work and today you can see result

Even Ciara and Russell Wilson. When u watch him and their sons many videos and pictures ull not believe it's his stepson. The boy is futures son, but he's always playing ball like russel and russel even coaches the boys little league team.

They are so close, pple always say this boy will be surprised to grow up and figure out he's the son of a rapper, not a baller.

Brother you should know better before marrying this woman that the girl is going to be your responsibilities but if you don't want her someone like me is ready to take her as mine so you can tell her mom to contact me on 08142297046, I will do my best to give her the best dad she needs cuz we don't know which child will make us great in life

Nairaland Fayose,if I were in your shoes I'll accept her and would shower her with love like my child.

babyfaceafrica:
no point...people condemning OP should condemn the father...OP has plans and that child is not part of his initial plan because he was with her father who has now rejected her....Op has to make a new life plan to include the daughter...people castigating him and not the gals father are very unfair...

See this one. This is called MARRIAGE!

Not accommodating their child, are words dt should never even come out of his mouth.
If he can't afford it, he should talk to the baby father man to man on how he'll be sending her upkeep. And how she can spend holidays wt her dad. So both parents are taking care of her. They are all adults.

NairalandFAYOSE:
pardon my blunders.
I was aware she has a baby before we met but still continued the relationship because the baby is with the father. she told me it was a mistake and the guy's family doesn't support their relationship. so they went their different ways while the guy kept the baby.

when we started, I found out she's humble, hardworking and she's everything I ever wanted in a woman. so we got married 4 years ago and have a 3 year old son and 2 beautiful twins (just 3 months old).

now the problem started when she went to church and her ex brought her 7 years old daughter unannounced. that he's married now and can't continue taking Care of the girl.
she called me from church and told me. immediately I told her not to bring a child thats not mine to me. she now took the baby to her mom and came home to meet me with my kids.
she has been begging me since to allow the baby in our home because the mother gave her 3 days to come and take her baby from her.

nairalanders pls I need your advice on this. those it make sense that I take the baby while the father is out there enjoying his life.

You married her knowing she had a child with someone else. Did you think that a mother would never again be part of a young child's life? While she is still alive? No way. Your wife is responsible for the life of that little girl and if you are a good husband you would support her in her responsibility to the best of your ability. I wish you and your family well.

don't accept the child my brother, if she grows up eventually, she will still remember her father no matter the adoption or whatever

tell your wife to choose between you and the child



but you get mind o, why you go marry after one when you never born?

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus she is "AFTER ONE"

Was Joseph the biological father of Jesus Christ? Didn't he still father the child Jesus? Do u know how big Joseph's heart was wen he decided (although with advice from God's angel) to father the child Jesus? If his heart were hard like yours, do u think he wld have listened to the angel? Those advising OP to adopt the child, na wa for una o! What u are advising OP is to take advantage of the helpless situation of the child by severing all connections with the Father. The fact that a father is irresponsible, should that justify adopting the child to bear ur name, because u no wan train anoda person pikin? Wat if after all these struggles u die, Shey na anoda man go dey bulala ur wife ni? Wld u like that man to turn out ur children? OP, take the child in, take some time to figure out Wat to do but take good care of the child and do not give ur wife an ultimatum on the kid. For the time being, allow the kid to answer e papa name. Besides, shebi Tuface baby mama carry Tuface pikin enter her pastor husband house?
Besides, I think ur parents were very selfish and they also raised a selfish brat.

femichill:
It's so funny how people talk. It's easier to give advice when you are not in that position. The child father denied his own child. The child grandma denied the same child. So, because he is the child stepfather, it is now his crime to take the child without us knowing his financial condition. I feel for u bro. However, make a decision you will stand by.

no mind people jhoor..hypocrites full here

babyfaceafrica:
no point...people condemning OP should condemn the father...OP has plans and that child is not part of his initial plan because he was with her father who has now rejected her....Op has to make a new life plan to include the daughter...people castigating him and not the gals father are very unfair...

Wisdom will not kee u oooo
Very intelligent analysis
If he knew d gal will come back to d mother ,he might change his plans bf marrying d gal

I have been a member of this forum for a very long time and i always think that majority of people here are joker, this post prove me wrong, imagine how everyone here is making sense. Oga bring that child home..peace

NairalandFAYOSE:
pardon my blunders.
I was aware she has a baby before we met but still continued the relationship because the baby is with the father. she told me it was a mistake and the guy's family doesn't support their relationship. so they went their different ways while the guy kept the baby.

when we started, I found out she's humble, hardworking and she's everything I ever wanted in a woman. so we got married 4 years ago and have a 3 year old son and 2 beautiful twins (just 3 months old).

now the problem started when she went to church and her ex brought her 7 years old daughter unannounced. that he's married now and can't continue taking Care of the girl.
she called me from church and told me. immediately I told her not to bring a child thats not mine to me. she now took the baby to her mom and came home to meet me with my kids.
she has been begging me since to allow the baby in our home because the mother gave her 3 days to come and take her baby from her.

nairalanders pls I need your advice on this. those it make sense that I take the baby while the father is out there enjoying his life.

How can you love somebody but not what they have? Is that love? Wait a minute, the child was conceived out of wedlock, if she comes to her mother, what's the worst that could happen? You all are now throwing an innocent child like a soccer ball.It's back & forth for an innocent 7 year old.All the adults involved in this should know it's unfair. Have you paused for a moment to think what if you had been born to a single mom or she became single later & remarried then you experienced this kind of treatment? Think about it, you can do better than that.

Odobopa:

So what's your point bros.. Should he accept the kid or not?

He can chose to accept or not. Whichever decision he takes shouldn't be faulted. That's my point

Mine advice to you is to accept the girl as your own, hence you new about her from on set before starting the relationship.

NairalandFAYOSE:
being with the mum means being with me. I don't think I want that

If your wife's mother cannot accommodate her own grandchild sans any modicum of guilt about it, don't let anyone emotionally blackmail you into doing it.

I too cannot be responsible for another woman's baby. I am one of those who could help financially so long as it's far away from my home. I am unashamed of my stand and so should you.

If you let the opinions of the emotional folks here compel you to do it, I assure you you'll emotionally, mentally and even physically abuse that child.

Again, there's no shame in your decision. Some of us just cannot care for certain reminders in the form of babies.

sexymoma:
You are just been selfish

bet if the tables were turned towards u, you wouldn't say that

..... Most of you failed to see where the man is coming from, what hurts him is the fact that a dumb lazy asz father trained a girl for 7year and is saying he can't do it no more... whose gonna do it for him?. If the father was dead, that's easier buh training and taking care of someone else's child while the person is chilling elsewhere isn't as easy as it seem......



Op....the first comment on the thread is the best. Adopt that child legally and treat her as your own please, She's a sibling to your children....their big sister.... I know it ain't easy buh if you can ,pls do........

Your wife must be going through alot, pls take it easy on her, its her daughter we're talking about.....

Take it easy on yourself too...get more ideas and advice from other people ( mature people)....

Goodluck..... This is touching.... Imagine what the little girl is going through....

Do not allow d innocent child to suffer, take her as one of ur child

Beey:
You are mad, no atom of humanity in you.How can you love somebody but not what they have? Is that love? Wait a minute fine the child was conceived out of wedlock, if she comes to her mother, what's the worst that could happen? You are now throwing an innocent child like a soccer ball.It's back & forthfor an innocent 7 year old.All the adults involved in this circus should be ashamed of themselves.Is it that she'll finish your food or what will she do? Have you paused for a moment to think what if you had been born to a single mom or she became single later & remarried then you experienced this kind of treatment? Grow up man.You are just a boy with a beard for now.Rubbish!

can't you reprimand people without insults...grow up!!

PUSSYBBQGRILLS:
If you truly love the woman. Take the 7 year old kid.

Agreed. I am happily married and the kids of my wife stays with me.

dominique:


So what is wrong with her being with you? Is she subhuman? You can't claim to love your wife and can't stand the child that came from her. How do you think your wife will feel knowing that her baby is being maltreated somewhere because you don't want her under your roof? Honestly you're being inconsiderate, you should never have married a single mum if you can't stand her child.

See, even if he takes the child in, that child will not enjoy her stay in that house. it is very obvious.

babyfaceafrica:
no point...people condemning OP should condemn the father...OP has plans and that child is not part of his initial plan because he was with her father who has now rejected her....Op has to make a new life plan to include the daughter...people castigating him and not the gals father are very unfair...

Well the father rejecting his own child is an opportunity for the op to show what type of man he is..but based on his post and comments, this nigga is not very nice. If I was in his shoes, I wouldn't think twice before I accomodate that innocent soul. I would have even encouraged my wife to take custody of her daughter before this whole situation happened. I mean what's the issue here sef
This is a child we talking about for goodness sake...

Luciferhimself:


I don't pollute people's minds

Understand me clearly I didn't say you are polluting anyone's mind but I simply said don't allow the devil to mislead you. May be this one is simple to understand

Abuheekmat:



Do what you want. Do not live in frustration..
If you don't want the girl, reject her
If you want her, accept her.
It's your life and it's your family.
Don't take stupid advice.


Don't Live with someone you don't like.. It will turn to hatred..

And it will destroy your family.

. If you don't want her.. Reject her

This is a pragmatic advice...
Guy ignore all those people telling u to bring her in by force by fire....
They know nothing about human dynamics and behaviour......
The worst thing u can do is bring that poor child under ur roof and then maltreat her....
That's worse than rejecting her and has bigger repercussion....
Please only accept that child if u know she will be treated equally as ur own child.....
Ur wife will be helpless and wouldn't be able to do much if u fail to show love to the child....
And u will definitely damage the psychology of the growing child.....
So long as the child isn't under ur roof, she isn't ur problem....
Tell ur wife to call a meeting of both parents and let them sort out the child's future....
However, once that child begin to live under ur roof, she becomes ur full responsibility......
In caring for her and raising her properly as ur own daughter....
Failing in this regard has serious consequences, both before man and God....
Remember, anything we do in this life, it must be cheerfully and without any grudge....
That's the only time we shall be rewarded....
Don't let anybody railroad u into what u are not ready for.....
In the future, it's those things u failed to do for her that will remebered, not those ones u did....
I hope u get what I mean....
Aiye le.....inu jin......
My piece....

Jesuschild:
4 d Luv u ve 4 ur wife & 4 d sake of humanity let her come 2 ur home. It's not lyk ur wife is imposing her on u b rather asking. Be there 4 ur wife & don't let d innocent girl's irresponsible father's act get 2 u. U won't know wat d little girl has gone through psychologically even ur wife.
Pls if u do allow her in, pls don't see as a mistake let d love 4 ur wife extend 2 her. Ur wife will b happier & in turn respect u more cos u ve come aut strong & understanding her.
Pls don't give 2 much thought 2 wat neighbours & friends wu say. Cover ur wife's shame

I don't even think it's advisable for him to take the child in cos he doesn't love her. He will definitely maltreat her and crush her emotionally. I just wish single Moms could be wiser. As a single Mom, your child is your first responsibility so you shouldn't be with a man who doesn't love him or her.

Nofav0rs:
He can chose to accept or not. Whichever decision he takes shouldn't be faulted. That's my point

Hmmm..
Well..he was aware the lady he married is a single mum..So kini big deal.... How can you even say no NO to something like this

MsGood:

I don't even think it's advisable for him to take the child in cos he doesn't love her. He will definitely maltreat her and crush her emotional. I just wish single Moms could be wiser. As a single Mom, your child is your first responsibility so you shouldn't be with a man who doesn't love him or her.

Hmmm
Very deep..

Beey:
You are mad, no atom of humanity in you.How can you love somebody but not what they have? Is that love? Wait a minute fine the child was conceived out of wedlock, if she comes to her mother, what's the worst that could happen? You are now throwing an innocent child like a soccer ball.It's back & forthfor an innocent 7 year old.All the adults involved in this circus should be ashamed of themselves.Is it that she'll finish your food or what will she do? Have you paused for a moment to think what if you had been born to a single mom or she became single later & remarried then you experienced this kind of treatment? Grow up man.You are just a boy with a beard for now.Rubbish!

Madam..you are the one who needs a bit of growing up.....You can't advise someone without insults?. Telling him that his mad, who does that?......


Most of you here don't have an iota of respect....you don't even know how old the man is...
Don't blame you though, Na people wey dey carry their problem come nl cause am.....

abiodunbright:
Brother you should know better before marrying this woman that the girl is going to be your responsibilities but if you don't want her someone like me is ready to take her as mine so you can tell her mom to contact me on 08142297046, I will do my best to give her the best dad she needs cuz we don't know which child will make us great in life

take care of a child if you are able.. stop this we don't know a child that will make us great attitude... you will be great and rich...why must a child make you great?....did dangote child made him great..or did Mandela child made him great?.....stop doing something because of future rewards..only God rewards

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus she is "AFTER ONE"

Let me tell you this based on my own experience. I have a bro who got married a to lady. One she is older than him, two she already had a grown up daughter before that. I believe the daughter should have been around 10 years when they got married but today, you will never know he is not the father of the girl because he took her in. Though her school fees not his business but feeding and other things, he cater for.

derrydinny:
don't accept the child my brother, if she grows up eventually, she will still remember her father no matter the adoption or whatever

tell your wife to choose between you and the child



but you get mind o, why you go marry after one when you never born?

A baby she brought into the world. You are evil. True story.

otunbadan:


Since you brought it to the "supreme Court of nairaland" ... I hereby give my verdict..... You are a wicked person, what did that little girl do to deserve such rejection from around,... You are in a position to show her love and turn her life around as yours .. but instead you are being selfish and bring your matter to public domain.... Oga u re wicked .... Simple and short.

The little girl has a biological father!!!! who's still alive & well