UBGG:


If your wife's mother cannot accommodate her own grandchild sans any modicum of guilt about it, don't let anyone emotionally blackmail you into doing it.

I too cannot be responsible for another woman's baby. I am one of those who could help financially so long as it far away from my home. I am unashamed of my stand and so should you.

If you let the opinion of the emotional folks here compel you to do it, I assure you you'll emotionally, mentally and even physically abuse that child.

Again, there's no shame in your decision. Some of us just cannot care for certain reminders in the form of babies.

NairalandFAYOSE:
same way I was thinking why can't the mom (my mother in-law) also keep ber

Odobopa:


Well the father rejecting his own child is an opportunity for the op to show what type of man he is..but based on his post and comments, this nigga is not very nice. If I was in his shoes, I wouldn't think twice before I accomodate that innocent soul. I would have even encouraged my wife to take custody of her daughter before this whole situation happened. I mean what's the issue here sef
This is a child we talking about for goodness sake...

SIRTee15:


This is a pragmatic advice...
Guy ignore all those people telling u to bring her in by force by fire....
They know nothing about human dynamics and dynamics....
The worst thing u can do is bring that poor child under ur roof and then maltreat her....
That's worse than rejecting her and has bigger repercussion....
Please only accept that child if u know she will be treated equally as ur own child.....
Ur wife will be helpless and wouldn't be able to do much if u fail to show love to the child....
And u will definitely damage the psychology of the growing child.....
So long as the child isn't under ur roof, she isn't ur problem....
Tell ur wife to call a meeting of both parents and let them sort out the child's future....
However, once that child begin to live under ur roof, she becomes ur full responsibility......
In caring for her and raising her properly as ur own daughter....
Failing in this regard has serious consequences, both before man and God....
Remember, anything we do in this life, it must be cheerfully and without any grudge....
That's the only time we shall be rewarded....
Don't let anybody railroad u into what u are not ready for.....
In the future, it's those things u failed to do for her that will remebered, not those ones u did....
I hope u get what I mean....
Aiye le.....inu jin......
My piece....

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus they say she is "AFTER ONE"

UBGG:


If your wife's mother cannot accommodate her own grandchild sans any modicum of guilt about it, don't let anyone emotionally blackmail you into doing it.

I too cannot be responsible for another woman's baby. I am one of those who could help financially so long as it far away from my home. I am unashamed of my stand and so should you.

If you let the opinion of the emotional folks here compel you to do it, I assure you you'll emotionally, mentally and even physically abuse that child.

Again, there's no shame in your decision. Some of us just cannot care for certain reminders in the form of babies.

poseidon12:


Good. I will suggest you formally adopt the boy. Otherwise his biological father may come to claim him after you have done all the hard work of raising him.

NairalandFAYOSE:
pardon my blunders.
I was aware she has a baby before we met but still continued the relationship because the baby is with the father. she told me it was a mistake and the guy's family doesn't support their relationship. so they went their different ways while the guy kept the baby.

when we started, I found out she's humble, hardworking and she's everything I ever wanted in a woman. so we got married 4 years ago and have a 3 year old son and 2 beautiful twins (just 3 months old).

now the problem started when she went to church and her ex brought her 7 years old daughter unannounced. that he's married now and can't continue taking Care of the girl.
she called me from church and told me. immediately I told her not to bring a child thats not mine to me. she now took the baby to her mom and came home to meet me with my kids.
she has been begging me since to allow the baby in our home because the mother gave her 3 days to come and take her baby from her.

nairalanders pls I need your advice on this. those it make sense that I take the baby while the father is out there enjoying his life.

Hedonini:
Oh come on.

1. You knew beforehand that she had a daughter and yet you proceeded to marry her regardless.

2. We assume she's a good, respectful, dutiful, submissive wife in every way you want.

2. She's begging in a humble and placatory manner.

If you have enough resources, you should admit the young girl. This shouldn't be a problem.

MsGood:

He will never forget who raised him. Never!

SIRTee15:


This is a pragmatic advice...
Guy ignore all those people telling u to bring her in by force by fire....
They know nothing about human dynamics and dynamics....
The worst thing u can do is bring that poor child under ur roof and then maltreat her....
That's worse than rejecting her and has bigger repercussion....
Please only accept that child if u know she will be treated equally as ur own child.....
Ur wife will be helpless and wouldn't be able to do much if u fail to show love to the child....
And u will definitely damage the psychology of the growing child.....
So long as the child isn't under ur roof, she isn't ur problem....
Tell ur wife to call a meeting of both parents and let them sort out the child's future....
However, once that child begin to live under ur roof, she becomes ur full responsibility......
In caring for her and raising her properly as ur own daughter....
Failing in this regard has serious consequences, both before man and God....
Remember, anything we do in this life, it must be cheerfully and without any grudge....
That's the only time we shall be rewarded....
Don't let anybody railroad u into what u are not ready for.....
In the future, it's those things u failed to do for her that will remebered, not those ones u did....
I hope u get what I mean....
Aiye le.....inu jin......
My piece....

chris51:
I know how you feel, but in the name of Almighty God, take the child. In a civilized society the child could be adopted by the step father.
An example is SEAL, the British Nigerian man, married to oyinbo model. Tge 1st child of the woman, born for oyinbo man was adopted by Seal.
The model is Heidi Klum and panel on American Got Talents. She has 2boys and a daughter for Seal. Seal adopted Heidi's 1st child and when I watched Seal's interview on Ellen's show, he said Heidi has 4 beautiful children for him.

Another example is Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. They have 3 biological children and 3 adopted ones.

Please accept this child. I assure you, it will make your wife to be more loyal to you and love you dearly. Have no fear, you will have no regrets by God's grace.

Good Luck

babyfaceafrica:
the man is nice..just scared of taking another mans responsibility.. which is normal..he didn't plan for this..he has to be careful... you think all children are appreciative if there step father....he dares not make the mistake of favouring his child over the Lady.. even if it is oversight.. he will be burnt.... he has to be very careful

femichill:

Better talk. Don't be emotional blackmail in making a decision.

dingbang:
because her mom, your wife is alive!

pweetyphola:
I really don't blame you. You are definitely not at fault. Who I blame is your wife the poor girl's mum. Maybe because she was so desperate to get married she did not get married to a man that who will love her daughter as much as her, to a man who does not see the girl like an inconvenience. She should have considered that this situation might come up before even saying yes to you. Anyway "Almighty" man and head of the home, the decision is in your court. I just hope your wife does right by her daughter.

MsGood:

He will never forget who raised him. Never!

Odobopa:


He is not supposed to do it for the child to be appreciative in future. He is supposed to do this because that's the right thing to do to make his very good wife happy and also to help that kid. You can't just say no to your wife in a situation like this mehn...

babyfaceafrica:
it is because of these type of issues. I advise to be wary of people who are "after one".

getting married on a d fresh slate is always better.. no baggage..


but people will say love is blind..so oga you know she has a child before you marry her... carry your cross

NairalandFAYOSE:
being with the mum means being with me. I don't think I want that.
have read so many comments here where people are calling me names and saying am selfish without even considering if I have the means to take care of her plus my kids. but no one is blaming the useless father who abandoned her daughter because he is married.
I know for sure my woman won't take it if its the other way round.

I only seek advice and if you want to blame me, I will say you should first put yourself in my shoes

Nobodys:




Madam..you are the one who needs a bit of growing up.....You can't advise someone without insults?. Telling him that his mad, who does that?......


Most of you here don't have an iota of respect....you don't even know how old the man is...
Don't blame you though, Na people wey dey carry their problem come nl cause am.....

Imustreturn:
now u have a bigger problem bro. I think I do understand u well.

But don't forget that your the man and your decision is finally.

Think about it brother. That gal might be your saviour 2mro.

Smiles I believe u understand how life works bro.

From the way you spoke seems u don't like her already its not about your family ryt it you bro. Work on your self man.