He is very athletic and good in all sports. Plays basketball, soccer, swimming and athletic. He won two consecutive cross country and broke the state record in 300m race. High scorer in his basketball team; plays for two clubs.
I'm even thinking this behaviour started since he became too active in so many sports. Thinking I should stop him �
Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid. ~Albert Einstein
I think you should change your approach to how you're handling this issue. He expects you to be upset at the things he does and you're falling for it. In his own way, he's having fun. I think you should make it fun too by commending him for very little things he does right. When you give these instructions, introduce some sort of reward system if these things are done properly. When he fails to do the needful, remind him of what reward he has lost and set another target for him again. If he surprises you with something fantastic or no so fantastic, praise him. These things get into their heads. When he expect you to be angry, don't be. Have used this method as a teacher and it works most of the time. Be patient with him. It's the age.
momokiddies: you are quite hard on the boy, and you know it. I would have said he should get him diagnosed if he had ADHD but you said an expert already ruled that out, even though I think that's what might be the issue, but because he is still a lad, their characteristics is often misquoted for childhood exuberance. truly he is forgetful, although he might pretend to be sometimes just to get away with some task, but he really is forgetful. you just have to keep reminding him in love and enough of your shouting and smacking . it won't work. you are just pushing him too hard and he can't help himself. and you already have your mind set on how he will cause you trouble and be like other stereotyped black kid in the hood. please cut him some slack and raise that boy in love and in understanding. he's likely to outgrow this trait or they are likely to remain will you throw him out then ? Nigerian schools are not equipped with childhood professionals who understand some developmental problems or delay a child might have. sending that boy to Nigeria is like sending him to his own doom. he will be abused , flogged and laughed over what he himself can't control. let him be with you and seek medical help. you can have another doctor diagnose him. don't let that feel like he is a source of pains to the family . I know you have been abusing him verbally, too. just stop all of that and speak to a professional who will proffer ways on how you can manage and curtail this behaviour. cheers! I'm a childhood educator so I am speaking from experience. I have taught and still teaching kids like your boy. they can excel if you push them in love
I would say you are spot on. This kid as you have described sounds exactly like i was at his age. My mother still relives the nightmares i caused her at that age. Only saving grace was that i always did very well academically without even trying. I would say he needs a lot more patience . I know as a parent it may not be easy with competing priorities but its a phase which, with your encouragement, he will overcome and the change itself will surprise you Please heed the advice above and you would be better for it
After reading all you have said there is nothing wrong with him, so far he is not gay I'm cool with all this, with time nature willt take care of all this.
But sometimes it's intentional. Exceptionally brilliant people no too send, they know they can always catch up academically without working too hard, the male kids especially.
We dey stubborn when we small. It's girls that begin to make us organized (infatuation)
mrmacdon: After reading all you have said there is nothing wrong with him, so far he is not gay I'm cool with all this, with time nature willt take care of all this.
momokiddies: you are quite hard on the boy, and you know it. I would have said he should get him diagnosed if he had ADHD but you said an expert already ruled that out, even though I think that's what might be the issue, but because he is still a lad, their characteristics is often misquoted for childhood exuberance. truly he is forgetful, although he might pretend to be sometimes just to get away with some task, but he really is forgetful. you just have to keep reminding him in love and enough of your shouting and smacking . it won't work. you are just pushing him too hard and he can't help himself. and you already have your mind set on how he will cause you trouble and be like other stereotyped black kid in the hood. please cut him some slack and raise that boy in love and in understanding. he's likely to outgrow this trait or they are likely to remain will you throw him out then ? Nigerian schools are not equipped with childhood professionals who understand some developmental problems or delay a child might have. sending that boy to Nigeria is like sending him to his own doom. he will be abused , flogged and laughed over what he himself can't control. let him be with you and seek medical help. you can have another doctor diagnose him. don't let that feel like he is a source of pains to the family . I know you have been abusing him verbally, too. just stop all of that and speak to a professional who will proffer ways on how you can manage and curtail this behaviour. cheers! I'm a childhood educator so I am speaking from experience. I have taught and still teaching kids like your boy. they can excel if you push them in love
.wgat are you people saying sef? At nine years of age I was bathing my two year old sister aside handling my own self. A three year old child shouldn't be behaving in such awful manner as described by the Op. Better take the boy for appropriate diagnosis
momokiddies: you are quite hard on the boy, and you know it. I would have said he should get him diagnosed if he had ADHD but you said an expert already ruled that out, even though I think that's what might be the issue, but because he is still a lad, their characteristics is often misquoted for childhood exuberance. truly he is forgetful, although he might pretend to be sometimes just to get away with some task, but he really is forgetful. you just have to keep reminding him in love and enough of your shouting and smacking . it won't work. you are just pushing him too hard and he can't help himself. and you already have your mind set on how he will cause you trouble and be like other stereotyped black kid in the hood. please cut him some slack and raise that boy in love and in understanding. he's likely to outgrow this trait or they are likely to remain will you throw him out then ? Nigerian schools are not equipped with childhood professionals who understand some developmental problems or delay a child might have. sending that boy to Nigeria is like sending him to his own doom. he will be abused , flogged and laughed over what he himself can't control. let him be with you and seek medical help. you can have another doctor diagnose him. don't let that feel like he is a source of pains to the family . I know you have been abusing him verbally, too. just stop all of that and speak to a professional who will proffer ways on how you can manage and curtail this behaviour. cheers! I'm a childhood educator so I am speaking from experience. I have taught and still teaching kids like your boy. they can excel if you push them in love
What are you people saying sef? At nine years of age I was the one bathing my two year old sister aside handling my own self. Even a three year old child shouldn't be behaving in such awful manner as described by the Op. Better take the boy for appropriate medical diagnosis
jess2019: My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.
He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.
I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.
He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.
He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.
If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.
Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.
I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.
Some crazy stuffs comes with being brilliant and smart.
He will out grow them with time.
You have to keep correcting him in a balanced approach so he will not grow resistance against you.
Beating does not really help in some instances. At times when he is so sure you were going to flog him, call him and explain why he should do the right thing.
No single sense in this comment. How many kiddies sent to Nigeria turned out to be doomed like you asserted ? Why not have the boy live with so you can show your child educating skills ?
[s]
momokiddies: you are quite hard on the boy, and you know it. I would have said he should get him diagnosed if he had ADHD but you said an expert already ruled that out, even though I think that's what might be the issue, but because he is still a lad, their characteristics is often misquoted for childhood exuberance. truly he is forgetful, although he might pretend to be sometimes just to get away with some task, but he really is forgetful. you just have to keep reminding him in love and enough of your shouting and smacking . it won't work. you are just pushing him too hard and he can't help himself. and you already have your mind set on how he will cause you trouble and be like other stereotyped black kid in the hood. please cut him some slack and raise that boy in love and in understanding. he's likely to outgrow this trait or they are likely to remain will you throw him out then ? Nigerian schools are not equipped with childhood professionals who understand some developmental problems or delay a child might have. sending that boy to Nigeria is like sending him to his own doom. he will be abused , flogged and laughed over what he himself can't control. let him be with you and seek medical help. you can have another doctor diagnose him. don't let that feel like he is a source of pains to the family . I know you have been abusing him verbally, too. just stop all of that and speak to a professional who will proffer ways on how you can manage and curtail this behaviour. cheers! I'm a childhood educator so I am speaking from experience. I have taught and still teaching kids like your boy. they can excel if you push them in love
Some crazy stuffs comes with being brilliant and smart.
He will out grow them with time.
You have to keep correcting him in a balanced approach so he will not grow resistance against you.
Beating does not really help in some instances. At times when he is so sure you were going to flog him, call him and explain why he should do the right thing.
jess2019: My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.
He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.
I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.
He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.
He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.
If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.
Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.
I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.
Be sensitive about what he loves doing. You've got a genius in your home. They don't act like normal kids. Beating him would make him hate you in future. You can correct him when he is happy.
It all boils down to his young formative years.. what were the positive habits you made him develop as soon he became a toddler and could do one or two things on his own... those are the habits that grow with people into adulthood and sometimes become difficult to change.
Was he taught to observe basic hygienic practices from when he became a toddler like making him see that dirtiness is a no no and also made to do basic things like brushing , combing, keeping himself and his environment clean etc even if he didn’t do them well at that time but he knew for a fact there they were an essential part of his life and would grow into doing them well.
A lot of mothers complain about their children’s habits but what roles did they play in making it compulsory that they do the right things from their very young age such that they become positive habits they can’t do without? You have to do this deliberately and consciously even though it may not be easy but it’s just to make them turn out right because it becomes the pain of the parents when the children begin to exhibit these bad habits so train them well to avoid unnecessary stress.
Many children or even adults with bad habits today were not cautioned early enough in life by being made to do things the right way and by the time the training began it was too late.
Send him to a good government owned secondary boarding school from jss1 and thank me later ... he will change by force.
He is very athletic and good in all sports. Plays basketball, soccer, swimming and athletic. He won two consecutive cross country and broke the state record in 300m race. High scorer in his basketball team; plays for two clubs.
I'm even thinking this behaviour started since he became too active in so many sports. Thinking I should stop him �
Trust me, the boy hasn't done half the things I did at his age. Leave him alone. At least he doesn't wet his bed still. All u mentioned are normal for many children his age especially if they are sanguine. Everybody grows at his own pace, this is his!
Raydos: You seem to be putting a lot of pressure on this young kid!! Just relax!
As he grows, he'll learn all these automatically!!
Or are you one of those parent that want their kid to be like other kids or compare them with other kids!! Just chill, and stop teaching your boy things the hard way, Infact I was once like him before!!
Just take a chill pill and take thing easy on this little boy!! Everything will change as he grows up!!
you lie bro, I know someone who has been like this since he was a kid, now he's 21yrs but still behaves like a 10yr old. Even with all the love and care, and sometimes beating too, he refused to change,instead he steals and gambles now.
Hello, please do not send your child to Nigeria. I beg you in the name of the God you serve, kindly watch this movie possibly with your son. I beg you again watch this movie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYeS7Wg9qmY. It's on Netflix also. Thank you and God bless you as you raise that champ.
jess2019: My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.
He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.
I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.
He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.
He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.
If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.
Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.
I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.
Martinez39: There is nothing wrong with your son. He is normal. Keep on reminding him and he will get used to doing the needful. I was worse than your son.
he's not normal pls, you people should stop advising that woman wrongly. I have someone that is 21yrs old now that still behaves like this; disorganized, always distracted, always playing like a 7yr old kid, dirty, lazy and unkempt. Even got to a point they started beating him because he refuses to listen to simple instructions. He has graduated to stealing and gambling now.
Study your son. Children are so unique - you might have 10 and all 10 will have different characters and mindsets. In your case, it looks like you have an intelligent child - they don't respond well (if at all) to yelling, ordering and beating. They may tolerate it but will eventually rebel (passively or actively).
Instead, enter the child's world a bit - use what he likes to communicate with him. To "program" him you have to speak HIS language. Say for instance he likes errr.. Teen titans, you have to know his favourite character, then use that to communicate and program him with small small punishments only when necessary because kids will be kids.
So for brushing, you might be like Robin is the leader of the teen titans and always tell him to be like robin -organized abd ready to lead himself and his baby sibling. If he's as intelligent as i think, then both parents need to lay down laws and start negotiating things with him - carrot and stick style. If we remind you to brush, you loose 30 mins TV time. If you do everything you are supposed to do without any reminder, you get a treat. If you go down this path, you must enforce the laws o.....
Thank you! I see greatness in that boy.