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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman (13392 Views)
Nigerian Married Men Please / Nigerian Married Women Are The Higher Cheater In The World. / Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Nobody: 10:50am On Oct 16, 2019 |
Acidosis: Ok bro. |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Acidosis(m): 10:52am On Oct 16, 2019 |
Plead: Seems you've concluded in your mind that all women will end up with irresponsible men. 5 Likes |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Nobody: 10:52am On Oct 16, 2019 |
midnighter: Help her in what way? . Did I send her to get married without job? As a Fellow woman, help her first . I don’t even know what’s making me to still reply your mention |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by NoToPile: 10:53am On Oct 16, 2019 |
Plead: You still havent answered my questions, let me compress it to one What if she never gets that dream job (shes just managing a small hustle) wont she get married? |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Nobody: 10:53am On Oct 16, 2019 |
Acidosis: Na your type the woman marry so! Alpha alpha male until they start feeling the heat We know your type acidosis . |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by ifyalways(f): 10:53am On Oct 16, 2019 |
Ladyboobae:Is that Fed Govt job offer (the one that came with mistress clause) still open and you have a single gf that will be willing to play ball with you to achieve your purpose? If yes to both questions, go with your cute, well dressed girlfriend ( she must be prettier than you) to the mans office ,introduce them and subtly excuse yourself. If the man is a randy goat as you have painted here, he will make moves on your gf and your gf will drop the ultimatum:- he must give you your appointment letter before anything. Get yout appointment letter, be smart in the office, learn the ropes and plant yourself in firmly by getting to know the bosses and being on their sweet side so the randy man wont have any chance to come for you incase your gf does not play ball. Your mama no teach you how to corner men? This is Nigeria, you are already at an advantage being lady,whats left is how to be smart and act swiftly. Being married does not stop a street savy woman. Your husband will not change, you dont have to shift yout pant for anyone either unless you want to but you have to do something to change your situation. Take charge of your life. 3 Likes |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Nobody: 10:54am On Oct 16, 2019 |
NoToPile: Dear let’s talk about this some other time |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by midnighter(f): 10:55am On Oct 16, 2019 |
Plead: You arent replying because youre only answering the parts of it that suit your vindictive agenda..is that one reply? I guess this is how you would like somebody to talk to you when you need advice... just keep harping on about the stuff you should have done 5 years ago instead of proffering a practical solution |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by NoToPile: 10:56am On Oct 16, 2019 |
1 Like |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Nobody: 10:57am On Oct 16, 2019 |
ifyalways: Ifyalways ! Ifyalways Weytin man no go see! |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Esthered: 11:01am On Oct 16, 2019 |
Plead:Having a good job, business.... is good but life happens. I know someone that was comfortable before she got married, the man refuses to be diligent for over 5 years of their marriage till date and she has gone down financially due to the irresponsible hubby and she doesn't want to separate because of societal.... 2 Likes |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by midnighter(f): 11:03am On Oct 16, 2019 |
Acidosis: Lol you are welcome... dont know whats up with some people Nobody is advocating for how she landed herself in this situation but it doesnt give the husband the right to bully her. Wont somebody take a wrong turn at some point in their life? 1 Like |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Nobody: 11:07am On Oct 16, 2019 |
Plead:I started work as a married woman. Married during youth service. Don't forget age factor. The older u get, even with your money, guys will stay away from u. If u are able o get work, very good. If u see somebody that fits you, u can't say no because u don't have work yet. A responsible man will help build u up. A man's life continues straightforward after marriage . Nothing changes. A woman's life is turned upside down because of marriage. Is it pregnancy. Or taking care of the children? That's why a reasonable man help build his wife. But the issue is that it gives men joy and satisfaction to see that their women are beneath them. That they are depending on them. Its a very powerful spell. Its very few men that on a good day will allow their wives to do something when they can comfortably provide for her. Take a random quiz here and u will see that most of u guys are like that man. They will even make u stop work. Its called control. A typical naija man is very controlling and the best way to keep a woman in check is denying her financial freedom 5 Likes |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Nobody: 11:09am On Oct 16, 2019 |
Esthered: You people shouldn’t get me wrong ,I didn’t say she should have her own money so that she’ll take up all financial responsibilities in the home ...no Highest they share it somehow and not her taking up everything unless that’s their agreement and she agreed to it ,my emphasis on having money was simply because of cases like the one OP is experiencing.... If the man is always telling you to leave his house ,have no respect for you or not giving you money ... if you have your own money you wouldn’t beg him or anybody you’ll use your own money ... hope you understand me? Infact if the husband knows you have your own money and if he misbehaves you can do without him and even better he won’t try shit with you |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Nobody: 11:10am On Oct 16, 2019 |
sassysure: Stop generalizing. In this present Nigeria any man stoping his wife from working is simply deceiving himself. 1 Like |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Ladyboobae: 11:32am On Oct 16, 2019 |
ifyalways:what can I compromise I dated him right from when I finished secondary school...till my final year in the university, my daughter was as a result of me being disvirgined by him...he said I should abort it I told him I can't cant,i have never done abortion and he knows thats,he insisted that this can be the first but I stood my ground my people got aware of my pregnancy and insisted the father must marry me,and he married me...would that bad why he is treating me this way....ever since we gave birth to my daughter he told me he is not ready for another child |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by midnighter(f): 11:32am On Oct 16, 2019 |
Plead: It seems you didnt see the lady lamenting that she keeps getting kicked out of her house over tiny issues... didnt she have a job? People like you always make excuses for iniquity not realising that the same may affect you one day...stop shifting the goalposts over somebodys bad behaviour Thats how they tried to quash the sex-for-grades saga but by the special grace of God, you people wont succeed |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Omojudy: 11:34am On Oct 16, 2019 |
Ladyboobae:Hey dear, we were chatting in PC, where did u go? |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Ladyboobae: 11:35am On Oct 16, 2019 |
ifyalways:I tried this with him..but he insisted that it must be me..that he has had an eye on me since year one..... |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by baby124: 11:41am On Oct 16, 2019 |
ifyalways:So, it’s the single girl that does not have what to do with her kpekus abi? Than to help someone else get a job with her Father Christmas kpekus. You actually think sex for job request stop just after one time? Who will cover for her when the man demands more sex? She’s the one in need, she either use her kpekus or forget about that angle. She can call her mother to open wide and collect the unpaid hammering so she can get the job. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Ladyboobae: 11:44am On Oct 16, 2019 |
Omojudy:ok..o chart in my free time 1 Like |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by LordKO(m): 11:59am On Oct 16, 2019 |
@OP The earlier you accept the bitter truth that the man has never been in love with you genuinely, and that you don't have what it takes to command his soft spot, the better for you - this doesn't automatically make neither you nor him a bad person. Both of you have never been mutually in synchronization and altruism. He can do better though, since both of you are already married, regardless of the circumstances that necessitated the marriage. He lacks humaneness. Only a man who has always been genuinely in love with you - a man who fell in love with you because of your innate quality (attribute/immaterial thing) - can move mountains for you at any point in time, regardless of your financial standing and overall condition. You've to continue to sort yourself out. 12 Likes |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Nobody: 12:10pm On Oct 16, 2019 |
Ladyboobae:This explains a lot. Clearly he was never interested in getting married to you. The only reason he did is because of the pregnancy which he didn't want in the first place. The fact that he doesn't want another child with you goes to show that he has emotionally checked out of that marriage. Make serious effort to plan your life without him, that man doesn't love you. He never did in the first place. I won't be surprised to know he has another woman outside that he is crazy about and lavishing his money on. 5 Likes |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Ladyboobae: 12:21pm On Oct 16, 2019 |
Redberyl:thanks for these...my reasoning has thus, been re arranged..... 1 Like |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by baby124: 12:22pm On Oct 16, 2019 |
OP, Don’t feel bad about your marriage. Too late for had I knows. He was your boyfriend from secondary school through go university and disvirgined you. If he knew he did not want a child or did not like you he would not be having unprotected sex with you. Don’t blame yourself for that, the fault lies squarely with him. Your parents pushed for the marriage thinking it’s in your best interest, which at the time it probably was with good intentions. I don’t think no one could really have forced him into marriage if he didn’t want to get married in the first place. Especially seeing that you are from a disadvantaged home. Just ensure you do well for yourself with all the advice you have now. What has happened in the past has happened. He probably has an issue with you because of the perception of his family that you are not good enough for their status. Pull yourself up and work towards your goal of sitting and passing your exams. You can do it. 4 Likes |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Ladyboobae: 12:23pm On Oct 16, 2019 |
LordKO:thank you too....but my problem now is,I dont know where to start from |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by baby124: 12:26pm On Oct 16, 2019 |
Ladyboobae:Don’t worry about your husband for now, focus on yourself and help yourself. Start by paying the 300 Naira registration fee for ICAN by yourself... then see how much you need for exemptions and work towards finding a way to pay for it. You can even take a loan from school if that is available. |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Acidosis(m): 12:35pm On Oct 16, 2019 |
Plead: Ahahah No be my type she marry sha. I think the problem here is foundational, based on further comments from @op. Even with a job and money, she won't find fulfilment. She needs love and attention from the man she calls her husband. There's more to this life than job, sex, business and money. 4 Likes |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by Nobody: 12:39pm On Oct 16, 2019 |
LordKO: You must talk |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by ifyalways(f): 12:50pm On Oct 16, 2019 |
Ladyboobae:Hmmmmmn This your problem tie gele |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by ifyalways(f): 12:56pm On Oct 16, 2019 |
Ladyboobae:You can compromise in so many ways. Im not your mother nor know the level of your inner strenght so i cannot lead you in that direction. It is all up to you. Imo, there is no marriage or better still you are married to yourself,he kept you in his house so that you can take care of his child. I dont want to comment on the sex pre-marriage but no to safe abortion and/or pregnancy preventive measures since its a dead horse. Its your life, you either take charge or remain there. YOLO. 1 Like |
Re: An Unhappy Nigerian Married Woman by LadySarah: 1:00pm On Oct 16, 2019 |
Keep doing good wife while life passess you by. Do you want to die unfilfilled? Lock the doors and ask him of he is happy in ur unhappiness.Both of you must arrive at a positive conclusion before the doors are opened.Change Tactics.Dont let poverty/marriage demean ur person. How can he be paying #160k fees for your daughter while you cant boast of #1k in ur acc? What if he dies today?What if he loses his job.How can he earn 250_450 and no side biz/investment? Both of you are jokers!!!!! |
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