ahnie:

Glad to hear this.... thumbs up!
Kindly give me a mention when you're set.
Bueno el lucko!

I will....tnxs

crackhaus:

Lol, go to some staff club and see what's up

You're not far from the truth but there are exceptions honestly, plenty exceptions sef.
A company like Pan Ocean that is full of Redeemed and Mountain of Fire members, those ones no dey carry woman outside

The story looks fake sef ...from the main OP and to her replies on the thread


Most people just feel like replying cuz they know it’s fake

Plead:



The story looks fake sef ...from the main OP and to her replies on the thread


Most people just feel like replying cuz they know it’s fake

Fake or real, mehn that's her or his business.
Afterall, lots of people here make use of nairaland to catch cruise most of the time.

Plan thy household. Be the manager and economist. Own it.

Which one is friends laugh at ya?

But I have a friend who has Hnd accounting and works with WFP now. Op needs to repackage her cv, I'm sure a job will come.

Ladyboobae:
he doesn't give me .upkeep,I ask him for upkeep he said his salary is not fixed it fluctuate .but I told him your being paid...at this point he says nothing...he gives me money for cooking...we dont stock food stuff he gives me money to buy food stuff as it finishes from time to time..and I give him breakdowns of what I bought because he is a kitchen person and was the cook for his mum for years before he married...so he is very familiar with kitchen stuffs...I dont collect a dine from there..

I have read the thread even with the forced marriage stuff due to pregnancy.

To be honest, I do not see much difference between your marriage and a typical Nigerian marriage except for he doesn't buy you clothes part.

Your husband is even very financially responsible. Worse case, he has a parallel family he takes of but again, the typical Nigerian wife is fine with a cheating hubby especially when he is financially responsible.

You can do a census to know how many Nigerian husbands buy clothes or cream for their wives. Your case is not so different.

I know wives who take care of the kids, pay their tuition and finance the home more than 70% and yes, the husbands make much more. They say they are the new type of Lagos husbands.

My honest advise is that you look for another job or means to make more money so you can take care of yourself. If you are an accountant, look for small businesses you can keep their books for a small fee at weekends. Your husband is not mostly around so you have a lot of time on your hands. You can sell snacks in your school, you can even check your daughter's school if they can employ you. It could afford you more time.

If you were not a typical Nigerian woman, you would not be in this marriage. I refuse to believe that the man loved you all the years you were with him.

It is well.

Plead:



The story looks fake sef ...from the main OP and to her replies on the thread


Most people just feel like replying cuz they know it’s fake

I will not say this should be your portion...so you will know how fake it feels..that's why people tend to keep things to theirselves and die in silence because of people like you...you still say this even in a faceless forum..dissappointing... dont joke with people's hurt,you dont know the strength they took out from within to speak up

crackhaus:

Lol, go to some staff club and see what's up

You're not far from the truth but there are exceptions honestly, plenty exceptions sef.
A company like Pan Ocean that is full of Redeemed and Mountain of Fire members, those ones no dey carry woman outside

In order words, you are among the exceptions abi? Iffa hear

bukatyne:


I have read the thread even with the forced marriage stuff due to pregnancy.

To be honest, I do not see much difference between your marriage and a typical Nigerian marriage except for he doesn't buy you clothes part.

Your husband is even very financially responsible. Worse case, he has a parallel family he takes of but again, the typical Nigerian wife is fine with a cheating hubby especially when he is financially responsible.

You can do a census to know how many Nigerian husbands buy clothes or cream for their wives. Your case is not so different.

I know wives who take care of the kids, pay their tuition and finance the home more than 70% and yes, the husbands make much more. They say they are the new type of Lagos husbands.

My honest advise is that you look for another job or means to make more money so you can take care of yourself. If you are an accountant, look for small businesses you can keep their books for a small fee at weekends. Your husband is not mostly around so you have a lot of time on your hands. You can sell snacks in your school, you can even check your daughter's school if they can employ you. It could afford you more time.

If you were not a typical Nigerian woman, you would not be in this marriage. I refuse to believe that the man loved you all the years you were with him.

It is well.

thank you so much

crackhaus:

Lol, go to some staff club and see what's up

You're not far from the truth but there are exceptions honestly, plenty exceptions sef.
A company like Pan Ocean that is full of Redeemed and Mountain of Fire members, those ones no dey carry woman outside

Are oil workers generally more promiscuous than other men?

Apart from the fact they have more disposable income, there is nothing extra ordinary in what they do.

I have colleagues who bring their runs for company parties, married & single knacking in the office, married & married knacking. Married men bringing runs for Bach eves for interstate weddings, married men bringing fishes for departmental hangouts.

In pastor's conferences people are still knacking sef.

Inside church nko?

Ladyboobae:
thank you so much

You are welcome.

Plead:



Lmao , so acidosis is woman lover because he said women shouldn’t work abi? Nigerian women never ceases to amaze me . Laziness will make them support any rubbish that supports that laziness ideology.

Acidosis is a traditional alpha male who shuns out misogynistic words on this section/forum at large about women.. of all the comments on this thread I haven’t seen anyone hating on women but it seems you just knew the word “hate”

Nigerian women are one of the most hardworking women in the world. Even abroad, they do so much better than many other African women and even than some of the female indigenes in the country they're in.
Dont ever use the word laziness with a Nigerian woman

Ladyboobae:
I will not say this should be your portion...so you will know how fake it feels..that's why people tend to keep things to theirselves and die in silence because of people like you...you still say this even in a faceless forum..dissappointing... dont joke with people's hurt,you dont know the strength they took out from within to speak up

C’mon gtfoutta my mentions .

yeyeosoronga:


Nigerian women are one of the most hardworking women in the world. Even abroad, they do so much better than many other African women and even than some of the female indigenes in the country they're in.
Dont ever use the word laziness with a Nigerian woman

Delusional fellow

Plead:



Delusional fellow

I understand our first form of socialisation in life is from the family, and perhaps you grew up seeing the women in your family as lazy, but it's not so in many Nigerian families.
Don't just look around you, but actually start seeing..

yeyeosoronga:


I understand our first form of socialisation in life is from the family, and perhaps you grew up seeing the women in your family as lazy, but it's not so in many Nigerian families.
Don't just look around you, but actually start seeing..

Stop disturbing my mentions , delusional kiddo!

Plead:



Stop disturbing my mentions , delusional kiddo!

You don't need to resort to name calling. You're an adult, so act like one and hold discussions as one.

Sometimes I think you need to be mindful of what you type to others online. I know you want to tell this lady the truth, but please she’s in a very vulnerable state at the moment, use your words wisely. I pray this lady will not attempt to kill herself from reading some things here. You can be truthful without being derogatory.

LadySarah:
At some point you have to help yourself.

Your parents didnt send you to school for nothing and we were not there when both of you were shagging unprotected.Frm your response to Ifyalways,your case is a babymama case.You are not in a marriage.


Since he is taking care of his daughter,you have to go out and aquire something.
You are an adult.Save up from your teaching and help yourself.

Ladyboobae:
In my mother in laws voice and I quote..."you are just a peasant lady,from a wretched home that wants to suck all her sons money and send to my wretched people in the village...so I ask,is it my husband's family I will call to the family meeting or my own people...??

I wonder why you will allow anyone talk to you like this. Have you no self esteem??

yeyeosoronga:


You don't need to resort to name calling. You're an adult, so act like one and hold discussions as one.

Who says common sense it by age? There are several overgrown babies running amok on the Net

Octopusssy:

I wonder why you will allow anyone talk to you like this. Have you no self esteem??

with the circumstances of events pls suggest to me what my self esteem can do,in regards to how you wish I should respond to her?.

OP, I have read the comments. See there's no point talking back at your mum or your husband. Since you're already doing a teaching job that fetches little, I suggest you continue with it, while you try applying to dinner either schools that pay higher.

I read where you said you have no skills. Look everyone of us have a skill that God has deposited inside of you and me. You need to sit down, pray and ask God to reveal to you. If you ask Him, He will reveal it to you. Usually it's something you can do effortlessly. It is only when you need to further polish it, you might need to go for training and even acquire certifications.

Yes, you may have read accounting, but that may not be your interest. That is why you need to discover your passion. It's the passion you grow up to create value, value that solves a problem. It's when that value solves a problem that people pays for it. For example, you love braids; how it makes a woman beautiful and you create variety of designs effortlessly, doing each sessions quickly. You can start from your house within your neighborhood and before you know it you're literally booked all through the week.

It could be accounting, then you can save. Yes save from a side hustle (skill). It may take time, maybe years but if you follow your passion, you will get there.

Whether your husband gives to you or not shouldn't even bother you. Still pray for him. Thank God he takes care of the home and your daughter. Continue to love him and respect him. Keep your home very clean, neat and orderly. Cut off from your friends that are mocking you. Like someone wrote, buy materials and see them beautifully. You can make simple but beautiful dresses for little money. It's for you to look simple, very neat and presentable.

If you do the above and with God in your side, you will surprise one day, just one day, your husband will ask, how he can assist you or ask what you need, without you asking.

Your matter dey simple. Give your husband the benefit of doubt, think inwardly for that talent in you, be a good wife and home maker, pray for your husband and commit your home and marriage to God in prayers always. Proverbs 14:1 says "Every wise woman buildeth her house; but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." So my dear be wise.

farady:
OP, I have read the comments. See there's no point talking back at your mum or your husband. Since you're already doing a teaching job that fetches little, I suggest you continue with it, while you try applying to dinner either schools that pay higher.

I read where you said you have no skills. Look everyone of us have a skill that God has deposited inside of you and me. You need to sit down, pray and ask God to reveal to you. If you ask Him, He will reveal it to you. Usually it's something you can do effortlessly. It is only when you need to further polish it, you might need to go for training and even acquire certifications.

Yes, you may have read accounting, but that may not be your interest. That is why you need to discover your passion. It's the passion you grow up to create value, value that solves a problem. It's when that value solves a problem that people pays for it. For example, you love braids; how it makes a woman beautiful and you create variety of designs effortlessly, doing each sessions quickly. You can start from your house within your neighborhood and before you know it you're literally booked all through the week.

It could be accounting, then you can save. Yes save from a side hustle (skill). It may take time, maybe years but if you follow your passion, you will get there.

Whether your husband gives to you or not shouldn't even bother you. Still pray for him. Thank God he takes care of the home and your daughter. Continue to love him and respect him. Keep your home very clean, neat and orderly. Cut off from your friends that are mocking you. Like someone wrote, buy materials and see them beautifully. You can make simple but beautiful dresses for little money. It's for you to look simple, very neat and presentable.

If you do the above and with God in your side, you will surprise one day, just one day, your husband will ask, how he can assist you or ask what you need, without you asking.

Your matter dey simple. Give your husband the benefit of doubt, think inwardly for that talent in you, be a good wife and home maker, pray for your husband and commit your home and marriage to God in prayers always. Proverbs 14:1 says "Every wise woman buildeth her house; but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." So my dear be wise.

thank you for this piece...thanks alot

And please my people,am very much open to a better job offer,make your girl no die for suffer,if not for my sake but for my family that needs my help,you might say it doesn't [b][/b]t concern you,but Las Las every good we do has it's way of coming back,its just a matter of time...before now till next year June,I will save up 50k to start a petty trade....but. before June next year,am willing to volunteer free for any accounting firm in port harcourt..you dont need to pay me salary,yea I will WORK FOR FREE,cos the truth is,I need to reminisce in my field again,and I also want to be under a mentor,a practicing accountant....so that when am done I can on my own manage the accounts of small businesses with a fee attached...they are all streams of income...please guys...I want to do a FREE VOLUNTEER job for any accounting firm or account dept of any organisation,or company,to boost experience in my field,feel free to PM me...#UnhappyMarriedNigerianWomanRebranded..#I CAN DO IT..#OnBECOM FINANCIALLY INDINDEPENDENT,#Grateful

Ladyboobae:
what do you think I should do?

His mother has no respect for you

He is not a stingy person. He assists his family and takes care of his daughter.

He knows you have potential, but does nothing to help you achieve it.

He does not treat you with basic human decency. No one should have to beg for a simple respectful treatment.

All I see is hatred.

If this story is true, is a marriage that exists in an atmosphere of hatred still worth it? it looks like he's trying to frustrate you out of the house, without having the balls to ask you to leave to your face. Perhaps so he can look good before people and say: she left of her own accord.

You should confront him. Tell him you can see clearly that he hates you, and wants to frustrate you out. Many manipulative narcissists love to run away from such conversations. They may naturally respond with anger. But it's important that the conversation be had for your sake. Let him be forced to have that conversation. Let him clealrlu state what he wants for the future of your union. He should know that you are no fool, and do not deserve to be treated as one. This conversation is very important.

Meanwhile, never forget that you have potential. And your potential can still be realized. The road maybe rough. But there can still be light at the end of tunnel. Keep being hopeful.

Ladyboobae:
with the circumstances of events pls suggest to me what my self esteem can do,in regards to how you wish I should respond to her?.

With all due respect, mum, please don't talk that way about my family. I won't take it. I won't stand you disrespecting my family.

Along that line sha. Give her once or twice like that. Scatter your dada.

I know that's what I will do.

Octopusssy:

With all due respect, mum, please don't talk that way about my family. I won't take it. I won't stand you disrespecting my family.

Along that line sha. Give her once or twice like that. Scatter your dada.

I know that's what I will do.

I admire your choice of words and how you place it out here but I always think about the possible outcome before I utter any word to people,I think of the consequence of my words to them,what might be the worst that could happen after I have made that statement,(3) I also think,reacting to this situation is it worth it? (4) what if she choose to massage her ego and throw me into the police station,who will know that I am there and will my husband bail me??when I have taught of the possible response...then the person who said silence is golden is indeed no fool after all...goodmorning. for all those who ask how old I am,I am 25 years

GiantParrot:


His mother has no respect for you

He is not a stingy person. He assists his family and takes care of his daughter.

He knows you have potential, but does nothing to help you achieve it.

He does not treat you with basic human decency. No one should have to beg for a simple respectful treatment.

All I see is hatred.

If this story is true, is a marriage that exists in an atmosphere of hatred still worth it? it looks like he's trying to frustrate you out of the house, without having the balls to ask you to leave to your face. Perhaps so he can look good before people and say: she left of her own accord.

You should confront him. Tell him you can see clearly that he hates you, and wants to frustrate you out. Many manipulative narcissists love to run away from such conversations. They may naturally respond with anger. But it's important that the conversation be had for your sake. Let him be forced to have that conversation. Let him clealrlu state what he wants for the future of your union. He should know that you are no fool, and do not deserve to be treated as one. This conversation is very important.

Meanwhile, never forget that you have potential. And your potential can still be realized. The road maybe rough. But there can still be light at the end of tunnel. Keep being hopeful.

thanks really appreciate..And please ,dont doubt my hurt it real,and that's why am here...

Ladyboobae:
I admire your choice of words and how you place it out here but I always think about the possible outcome before I utter any word to people,I think of the consequence of my words to them,what might be the worst that could happen after I have made that statement,(3) I also think,reacting to this situation is it worth it? (4) what if she choose to massage her ego and throw me into the police station,who will know that I am there and will my husband bail me??when I have taught of the possible response...then the person who said silence is golden is indeed no fool after all...goodmorning. for all those who ask how old I am,I am 25 years

She will throw you in the police station for telling her not to disrespect your family?

Silence is golden, yes, but not in all situations.

Make your husband happy again, prepare his native meal for him and your family. You can settle that quarrel by learning and cooking a good meal for him. Check out this app on google play store to learn how to cook all Nigeria meal. So elaborate, good for offline and easy to understand. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.toyonnet.nigeriafoodsrecipes

Plead:



Lmao , so acidosis is woman lover because he said women shouldn’t work abi? Nigerian women never ceases to amaze me . Laziness will make them support any rubbish that supports that laziness ideology.

Acidosis is a traditional alpha male who shuns out misogynistic words on this section/forum at large about women.. of all the comments on this thread I haven’t seen anyone hating on women but it seems you just knew the word “hate”

You are the only person who have summed him up in a beautiful way. I have tried but I couldn’t but you did

mysticgal:

You are the only person who have summed him up in a beautiful way. I have tried but I couldn’t but you did

LOL. Even you mystic? I'm disappointed