2buffagain:


You sound igbo as fvck

sassysure:


U surprised me.

No, I'm shocked

I have since given up hope.


Nothing is wrong with a working woman. Nothing at all.
What she needs at the end of the day is an understanding and caring man who sees her as his mate not competitor. Women can do anything for such men.

Women has been holding the house together for ages.
There are some men who are sacked from work yet they still live large courtesy of their working wives and u will never hear it.
Some houses are built by the wives and the husbands take the glory cos they don't want to shame their men.

If tomorrow I decide to buy a larger than life car cos I am able to afford it conveniently, I will end up giving it to my husband if his car is inferior than mine cos I wouldn't want to crush his ego as a man. He might not care but I will not feel comfortable. Women love being under their men only if their men know how to pamper them.
Women became rebellious when men take them for granted. Leave the house for your man and go for training or weekend out, he will know it's not easy keeping all together but women do that effortlessly.

victorian:
Unless u are drop dead gorgeously handsome before u should dream of marrying a rich lady.
If not? Biko swerve one side and manage any girl u r lucky to have around u.

Nowadays guys are so funny and ridiculous in their request.

Rich ladies will see u guys as gold diggers and quietly withdraw quickly.

DexterousOne:


You echo my sentiment on Phoenix

I dont agree with his way either
But at least he has created what SEEMS to work for him

Which we should do amyways

gentlemate00:
Hello bros
How una dey go message for investment corner got some question to ask. cheers

RisenPhoenix:


I appreciate the compliment, but I am more interested in learning new things and I believe there is always room for improvement. Please share the model you think would work better, but for both parties, not only for the woman.

MusaChukwudi:


The world is changing my friend, whether anybody likes it or not. In advanced countries and with the continued women empowerment MARRIAGE is losing relevance and meaning. Your writing suggests to me that you are a very young man. Mind how you go and the decisions you make today.

Don't you ever marry a woman who cannot back you up financially. You don't have to own or control any woman. It's a fools paradise!

Quinex:
Kai....see better man! Are you in any way single and ready to mingle?? Trust me..I got all the good character but no job currently

Honeydenz:

Exactly what my brother is going through right now. He said and I quote "Marrying a woman that is not working is such a biiiiiiiggggg error" Lwkmd No pity for him cos he had two ladies to choose from but he chose the unemployed one out of love saying that the other rich working class lady patronises native doctors alot and he fear being hypnotized by her. Now his regretting marrying a lady without a source of income after two kids. Medicine after death, Lol.

bukatyne:


I don't agree with your model doesn't mean mine or anyone else is better.

I view money and time (which most people refer to as domestics) as resources.

We pull all resources into a common pot and use as we deem fit.

Interestingly, some of our input into the home has gravitated towards' traditional' roles.

So the discussion for me is not chores vs money. If I work from home and earn N2m monthly into the common pot, I will still handle most of the chores because I have the resource of time.

Personally, if I were to run a traditional model of marriage, I would most likely not work 9 - 5 because I would not have the resource of time except I have a maid.

One of the draw backs of the traditional model for me is the autonomy of decisions that the husband has.

Each of us to our own.

Biglittlelois:
I honestly enjoyed reading through this thread, big ups to those who commented meaningfully and intelligently.

ravensckar:
I don't know who you are, but I pray that the Most High will bless you abundantly for this. What most men fail to realize is that the moment a woman too start bringing home money, things will turn chaotic in that house. Let me use myself as an example. My first two years of marriage was the most peaceful and enjoyable. You know why? My wife wasn't working then. She looks after our child, takes care of the house, cook me good meals such that I started getting fat. Whenever I'm out for work, I always feel like going home to meet my sweet and loving wife. Everything was going peacefully until boom....


I used my own hand find trouble. I helped her get a job. She started with 60K salary, then, things started to change. After a short while, she decided to go into trading. After gathering my savings and obtaining a loan at my place of work. She started something. That was when the 'devil' in her show face.

She started disrespecting me, now, if I talk one, she'll talk five. It got so worse that she comes home around past 10 and you know what that means; no delicious dinner, no hot sex, no conversation or lovey lovey talk because she's very tired. Things got so worse that she doesn't even have time for her kid. She sometimes send the poor child to child on bike without even accompanying her.


We don quarrel tire. Papa talk, mama put mouth, relative settle quarrel, all to no avail. Now, I've applied the greatest gift of all; patience. I no longer let her actions bother me again. Need I even tell you that she doesn't contribute 'shishi' to the running of the house? Yes, you heard me clearly.


Why am I typing this? It's so those of you who are about to get married know the implication of your choice. A woman who does petty trading may not assist you financially, but she'll give you that peace of mind and make the marriage enjoyable. A woman who makes as much as you earn may not afford you that luxury of a peaceful marriage, but one way or the other, she'll assist you financially in running the house. Please and please, let nobody tell me that there's any woman who can contribute financially and still give her best in the marriage. I'm yet to find one.


PS- having accepted my cross, I resorted to giving myself peace through my watching movies, playing playstation, hanging out with my gees and focusing on my job. One woman no fit scatter my head o jere.

300wayne, uyplus, IamHonourable1, SamOyovwi, deltateam, makethegrades

RisenPhoenix:


@bolded. I am not asking to criticise or prove that mine is better than yours. I really am interested. So there is no need to stay on the defensive.

To continue, do you look at our roles only from the perspective of time for domestics and resources for economic benefit? Don't you think that other, non financial parameters are of equal importance; for example the psychological well being of the family, the pressure to engage in infidelity (on both of you), the nurture of the kids by being there to guide them? Do you think that these things are of primary importance or do you think that they should be subjugated to the economic need of the family? Also, given a chance to gain more time by lowering the standards enjoyed by the family, do you think it will be worth it, or do you prefer that the standard remain intact?

You say that the autonomy of decisions that the husband makes is a drawback. In what way? Does it hurt your pride, do you feel inconvenienced by decisions that your husband has already made without your input, or is it just a matter of principle? Secondly, you say that you support the idea of a common pot. Who retains authority over the common pot? What if there is an irreconcilable conflict over how funds are utilised, who has the final say? Would the non winning party not feel slighted since his/her hard earned contribution has also gone into the common pot? Also, will investments/projects also be funded from the common pot, and if yes; in whose name?

sweetrace:


That was a comment made by an intelligent female. Chasing money at the expense of giving children the attention they need is not what I want.

MusaChukwudi:


Yeye..... what did you marry for? A woman to spend her whole life massaging your ego? You are on a long thing. The rule of the game had changed bro. Marriage in the 20th century is pure partnership of equals. If you don't like the marriage then end it! Let a woman do her thing while you do yours. NOBODY owns anybody and that is what we are slow to accept in Nija.

MusaChukwudi:


Yeye..... what did you marry for? A woman to spend her whole life massaging your ego? You are on a long thing. The rule of the game had changed bro. Marriage in the 20th century is pure partnership of equals. If you don't like the marriage then end it! Let a woman do her thing while you do yours. NOBODY owns anybody and that is what we are slow to accept in Nija.

emmanuelewumi:



May God help you and continue to enlarge your coast


You have done well by using your savings and also getting a loan to establish a business for your wife

God sees your heart that you want the best for your wife and your family, so shall it be.

ravensckar:
Abraham Lincoln once said; 'He who knows not but knows not that he knows not is a fool, shun him'.

I won't waste my time exchanging words with a re.tarded lowlife like you. Now, get the fu*k off my mention...

sweetrace:

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a woman making her own money. Just like there’s nothing wrong with a woman who decides to be a stay at home mum so she can raise children who will add value to their world. There is no wrong or right way.

CoronaVirusPro:



Sigh....


Say No to Hard-Drugs

KahlDrogo:
My dear Hajiya Nkiruka, kedu makaku?

sweetrace:


There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a woman making her own money. Just like there’s nothing wrong with a woman who decides to be a stay at home mum so she can raise children who will add value to their world. There is no wrong or right way. So, for the op to tell men to run away from women who are not adding cash to the family is ignorant. Some families have a member not working until the kids get to a certain age.

djon78:


The bolded is a good trade off.
But working women still raise up good children. Some still add great value to there homes it's more about the mindset

2buffagain:


That is why the worst question you can answer a lady is "What type of woman are you looking for?".
Never answer that bullshit question. Na ein be say she wan scam you be dat

Tell her to be herself, and pass yourself off as a non-judgemental guy....while you judge the fvck out of what she decides to be.

funmisticqueen2:
you sound that a freeloader and a liability. What a disgrace!!

2buffagain:
Gentlemen. The reality of living in the 20th century has changed, and so must every notion formed from previous days that no longer hold weight today.

Women are not the only ones who should be asking what you do.
You should also be asking her what she does....and guaging her wifeability from her response.
Nobody likes to suffer...yourself included. So why sign up for a lifetime of every financial request of your immediate family (and possibly both your extended families ) coming to just you alone?

Gone are the days where families survived on one income alone. Those days, houses in Nigeria used to cost #5M or less. These same houses now cost well over #30M.

I can bet your income did not also inflate 6x over the same time.

The reality is that you need a wife who also brings something home, and honestly it should hopefully be around the same (or more God willing) of what you pull in.

This way one person's income can cover the family stuff and the other person's income goes towardssavings/investments/emergencies/joblessness buffering/ etc. Your family will go farther and you can even both retire earlier if this is done right.

Also Naija guys please, have some respect for yourself.
If you meet a girl and she has the mental configuration of always wanting money from you, just know that she is not the one.

As a sister here once said, "A girl who truly likes you, won't ask you for money...unless it's bad and you are her last resort."
Na woman talk am. Believe that sister. Peep that one game from her, and most of you will be alright.

If a girl really likes you, she'll be too busy trying to think of ways to be an asset to your life or impress you...not a taker.

Get you a girl who makes her money with a good source of income and who understands that her income is to be included in plans.

You have been told.
You should be done with your broke girl phase right about now ^{(much like how women should be done with their bad boy stage).}
It does nothing for your life.

NOTE: I am not saying go and marry an idiot because she makes money.... Obviously.
You are still looking for a good wife, who just ALSO happens to be equipped with income and/or good income prospects and drive.

Kingarthur21:
[b][/b]
What is your problem with a man setting standard for himself?at least they are pro-woman monikers that advice ladies to stay clear off broke guys like shugavee,lavylily,chocolate..
So what is your issue with a man wanting the best for himself?
Any standard a man set you start calling him names like narcissits,beggars etc
Please you can be a pro-woman without being anti-man,just leave men alone..

funmisticqueen2:
This is not how a man sets standards.

The standard a man should have is that he should be so self sufficient that he doesn't need a woman to be, that he can take care of her and his entire family with enough to en
sure a legacy. I am not saying a woman should not be self sufficient. Of course she should have something going for herself. But for the man to start eyeing a woman's pocket and asking her to contribute financially is a big red flag for any woman with sense. It shows lack of maturity. It shows low effort. It is better to be single than to marry a low effort man.


Remember ladies are wisening up, it's online men like you that take the bashing too far but are too scared to approach ladies in real life.

A lot of ladies now realize that why get the pig, when all you need is a little milk from the sausage. Ladies are choosing to be single and lonely than to marry little boys deceiving themselves and the world that they are men.