A lot of factors at play:

1. Some people due to a dramatic childhood or how they were introduced to love think it must be full of drama to be real, and get bored when it’s regular. These kind of people thrive in conflict and attitude and tears, it means to them that love is real. It’s false and always leads to breakup (sometimes after many years).

Two: sometimes you see someone from afar and develop a mental picture of who they are. Once you get to have a conversation you realize they aren’t your type and nothing like the image. No one’s fault, just two people discovering what works.

Three: some people chase others to validate their ego. They might have seen said person as hard to get, maybe even discussed it with their friends and set out to see what they could get. Once they “won” they moved on.

Four: they are afraid of love. They have low self esteem and are frightened they might not be a good partner or even deserving of love, so they self sabotage.

Five: love vs lust. Lust will be all encompassing, until sex. Then it’s over. True love is steady and caring.

Either way: if he’s ignoring you, move on. It’s not your job to figure his life out for him. Don’t be a plaything in his context of reasons.

Love should not be so hard, that’s why most people will tell you when they met the one, things flowed so amazingly smoothly.

Johnson225:
Get a standard America table tennis court to keep busy during this lockdown. Delivery within and outside Lagos. Whatssap: 07065417708

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tintingz:
That's because the guy has no interest in her.

Must a guy have interest when approach by any lady?

This is same reason girls reject some guys that have interest in them.

A guy approached by a girl will have interest in her if he has feelings for her.

You didn't get it.

The guy approached her first.
She liked him and agreed to date him without delay; she reciprocated his interest.
And as soon as she did, he withdrew.

Boys/men only want love if it's torture. Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn ya (Taylor Swift)

Zoie:
The average Nigerian man suffers from an extremely weak self esteem that needs to stay constantly bloated to stay functional.
That's why they chase after ladies who treat them like shi.t and avoid ladies who show them love. The hunt makes them happy. The thrill of having to constantly woo a woman makes them feel good. Makes them feel she is better than the one who shows love even without being wooed..even if the former is a retired runs girl.

Bemby69:


Men are mostly predatory in nature and will most times appreciate it more when the initiative comes from them . So when the reverse occur , it builds a negative effect in his psyche as per how he relates with you . I will suggest that even when you're truly 'heads over heels' , just drop subtle hints for him to pick on to and make him do wooing .
But then there are no hard or fast rules to these things , some of such relationships have gone on to last longer than the otherwise regular ones .
All in all , both parties have to work at making the relationship a success afterwards because what one sees from the outside is sometimes not how it is on the inside , so my advice is for one to always look beyond physical attributes in the opposite sex , that way one may be able to spot some of the probable red flags that might come up later in the relationship .

Both of you are wrong. I have had to feign loss of interest when a girl I desired so much gave me every possible green light. She was my crush since secondary school and still is as beautiful and smart as ever.
However, at that point my life was a mess, I made a couple of dangerously wrong choices and everything about me was down. I was basically avoiding everyone and hiding my true situation even from family. Only God really knew my situation.
I had crossed some occultic people and was afflicted every way possible, I had a deadly blood disease (not HIV, herpes or hepatitis ) amongst other countless afflictions. I would literally wake up at night and walk around the house talking to myself and conversing with voices in my head. Some days I would trek long distances talking to my self, completely not giving a Bleep of what was happening around. I was living in chronic physical, emotional and psychological torture. There was no way I would let her "see me" in that state, I don't want her to ever have that picture of me in her mind.
Last last God intervened and helped me, I just shut down dating and relationships to build my life (especially spiritually, wickedness is in this world) and catch up for lost years.
My case is a little bit extreme, but sometimes men might just shy off "serious looking" relationships when their shit is not together.
Casual sex? Maybe ( not for me sha, lemme don't come and use my hand and dig my grave by offending the God that was sustaining me in hat critical moment), but definitely not a relationship. If things were different at the time, wallai I would have dated that girl and gone all the way.

xcabczyxabczzzz:

Nice, have you ever look back and think I wish I didn't even bother? If yes, how do you deal with such thought?

One lady I met, I had a dream before meeting her. I almost knelt begging her if she wouldn't accept my proposal let me be around her as I seldom have such strong instincts that life wanted me to be around a person, especially because I had a dream and saw her the day before. We met around Covenant University so I guess the environment polluted our relations. She kept assuming I wanted her cause she looked like she was rich despite the fact I was working. She refused regardless of the attempts I passed through, we maintained friendship where I call just twice in a year as I told her I didn't want friendship or brotherliness since she was single. I call her twice a year one at the start of the year, the other in the middle. The last time I called, someone picked, she had died. What happened, wrong blood transfusion or blood transfusion done wrongly. When we met I kept hearing the word, blood, blood, even as a Minister and in the Medical line I couldn't place it, if I remaining in her life, she will be alive today because I understood what happened into to. This is one event of regret, I chose to not be patient cause I didn't have things my way. Though life brought us together for free d ship and perhaps her moment of difficulty. Well she was someone else's responsibility and not me, but the new boyfriend mm couldn't handle the situationship


.. Other times the reverse was the case, many ladies saw me on low key and assumed he's a nobody, when they see my work ehtmmthics when working they come flocking, but then I've cut the thread. I then begin to see regrets in their faces.



Let's pray we don't regret in love. My mother's ex from over 45 years ago till today would call and say, if not your mother, if not your mother, cut the call. He does this once every year. There are persons of qualities life would send our way, if out of our own self importance we don't value people because they are the ones doing the chasing and not the other way around and abort our relationships, we will throw away the good along with the bad in the process.



Tolerance is key. Endurance is golden. Patience is a virtue. We should be patient with people..




CC Liliantalks

Liliantalks:
lol kia , u self. I like gist o lol

I had one other gist I wanted to share with you o.

Renida:



I'll stay here to read comments. At times when the guy pursues and purses and purses, it's oftentimes when the other party picks interest, his begin to dry up

Boys abrɛ. Let them know what it feels like to be wooing a lady upandan and she Will be forming hard-to-get LOL

betonnaira:
that story no even relate to wetin d op they talk, how long have u been waiting to use this lane parable

Kindly ask your parents to get a refund for your school fees since it's now 'lane'

NockMedia:

Boys abrɛ. Let them know what it feels like to be wooing a lady upandan and she Will be forming hard-to-get LOL

Rejection hurts, just like heartbreak

this is not about a lady picking interest, men naturally lost interest when they're overwhelmed with high emotions from ladies


this is why it's un-africa for African ladies to ask men out or show interest, she should rather influence the guy interest and not direct feelings to the guy


many men hate loose ladies but exploiting the ladies won't make them speak out because ladies generally hate the truth


I've a lady I just plead to be just a friend, I've to let go of her when she almost use calling kill me. she called me anytime 5am, 4:30am, 6am etc. I scream I'm not interested again when I can't bear it

Zoie:
The average Nigerian man suffers from an extremely weak self esteem that needs to stay constantly bloated to stay functional.
That's why they chase after ladies who treat them like shi.t and avoid ladies who show them love. The hunt makes them happy. The thrill of having to constantly woo a woman makes them feel good. Makes them feel she is better than the one who shows love even without being wooed..even if the former is a retired runs girl.

I disagree perhaps because I'm an exception to what you said. I hate long talks and indecisive people, I tell you my mind and if you are interested or not, just state it. I no sabi beg person and the the only girl when Don gather mind talk, me and her dated for five years before we parted ways and we still dey talk till date but the ones who pretended and gave me stress, na fvck and dump

piamily:
I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit. I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when the men love the women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

Simple, you are not his type and he's not a Bleep boy if not he would have still bleep your punna without even liking you.

@ OP

I don't get it..

lady do the same na.. why d complain...

there are a lot of guys that had shown interest in ladies and they turn them down... the guys didn't die, they just moved on...

so to the so-called lady.. please move on to another guy.. until u get the one that reciprocates the interest.

piamily:
I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit. I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when the men love the women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

Well it happens but my girlfriend today actually stylishly asked me out. It took about a month before I agreed and today I love her like mad, I can’t live without her.

Wooing a girl can be hard


Moreover people are different. I feel most times a guy or lady rarely understands what the other party wants hence the complexities.

What do I know??

I don't think there is anything like play hard to get I have never since a girl play on me you know y because you don't just see a girl at first sight and you start chasing I still wonder how some guys manage to do such thing. You see a girl long the way for the first time you start toasting. Trust me some ladies you will get to sleep with on that first day or nexday of just meeting her y some are hard to get cos you don't know her yet and you already start toasting. One thing I have done that works for me anytime is I make friend with you and I take my time if I mean you if I get to see her every day around that area it definitely not going to play hard but if only once upon a time you do see her it might just take longer. But wait o whether she plays hard or not what matter to me Is getting her

Renida:




Rejection hurts, just like heartbreak

Men are used to rejections but ladies aren't.
When you reject a lady, it makes her want you more. But when a lady rejects a man, he moves on to the next target.

Most of them are always like that, when you give them the slightest of attention, they start misbehaving and feeling on top of the world, but then I know how to factory reset their head when they start feeling too important.

Renida:



One lady I met, I had a dream before meeting her. I almost knelt begging her if she wouldn't accept my proposal let me be around her as I seldom have such strong instincts that life wanted me to be around a person, especially because I had a dream and saw her the day before. We met around Covenant University so I guess the environment polluted our relations. She kept assuming I wanted her cause she looked like she was rich despite the fact I was working. She refused regardless of the attempts I passed through, we maintained friendship where I call just twice in a year as I told her I didn't want friendship or brotherliness since she was single. I call her twice a year one at the start of the year, the other in the middle. The last time I called, someone picked, she had died. What happened, wrong blood transfusion or blood transfusion done wrongly. When we met I kept hearing the word, blood, blood, even as a Minister and in the Medical line I couldn't place it, if I remaining in her life, she will be alive today because I understood what happened into to. This is one event of regret, I chose to not be patient cause I didn't have things my way. Though life brought us together for free d ship and perhaps her moment of difficulty. Well she was someone else's responsibility and not me, but the new boyfriend mm couldn't handle the situationship


.. Other times the reverse was the case, many ladies saw me on low key and assumed he's a nobody, when they see my work ehtmmthics when working they come flocking, but then I've cut the thread. I then begin to see regrets in their faces.



Let's pray we don't regret in love. My mother's ex from over 45 years ago till today would call and say, if not your mother, if not your mother, cut the call. He does this once every year. There are persons of qualities life would send our way, if out of our own self importance we don't value people because they are the ones doing the chasing and not the other way around and abort our relationships, we will throw away the good along with the bad in the process.



Tolerance is key. Endurance is golden. Patience is a virtue. We should be patient with people..




CC Liliantalks

Really needed this, thanks.

I don't do that as long as she is my spec. As a matter of fact I can't chase a girl more than 4weeks no matter how beautiful she is, I hate wasting my time because there are many fishes in the river.



If I luckily meet any girl wey be my spec and she nor give me tough time nai be say I don hit jackpot be dat na.

piamily:
Oh ! I get you now. So you’re saying Nigerian men really want ladies to play the hard to get very hard then. So why are they complaining. Well then I’ll keep playing it hard as usual since they think it was bread and butter they got in a platter of gold

Some guys might approach you for a relationship, but on getting closer to you, they get to know certain things about you that they don't like and they withdraw. I will advice e you to be yourself, the next guy you may want to play hard to get for may not have the time to be persistent. If you like a guy, then don't hold back. If you don't like a guy, then you can decline his proposal.

Boredom. People are only sometimes interested in things they cant get and that is why marriage is a tough game.

Zoie:
The average Nigerian man suffers from an extremely weak self esteem that needs to stay constantly bloated to stay functional.
That's why they chase after ladies who treat them like shi.t and avoid ladies who show them love. The hunt makes them happy. The thrill of having to constantly woo a woman makes them feel good. Makes them feel she is better than the one who shows love even without being wooed..even if the former is a retired runs girl.

It's a topic for discussion and not a debate. No need to throw esteem barbs. Let me also ask you one question. Why do you think most women reject nice guys?

I baffles me

In my former place of work, a babe asked me out but I was too bothered thinking about being broke and I was too bothered dealing with my own shit wasn't right to being someone in the mix to that, told madam sorry but daring not in my plan for now, felt bad but we became good friends afterwards turns out we were both AS too so.......

The thing is most guys don’t have time for that now....even these days e Dey hard me to talk to woman....times have changed

Renida:



I'll stay here to read comments. At times when the guy pursues and purses and purses, it's oftentimes when the other party picks interest, his begin to dry up

thank you

Karlifate:

...and they end up in Shiloh.

Mountain of fire nko.

Liliantalks:
lol he might not be short in the department sha

I hv learnt a big lesson from life , let me share with you , when I was younger i had a lot of guys coming my way , but back then I was so ignorant on what I should look for in a man , now I am older I regret some guys I let go, guys I felt we’re too short , talks too much , swaggerless , aggressive , smoker , etc . Guys i liked were hoes , I dated some but i was little or no value to them , I was there till they met another. Funny enough all the guys I wrote off r in a relationship n doing very well in their relationships ,loving there women silly , well some remain idiots lol

look for efforts , money, care and attention, that’s what really matters. Get a list of what u want in a man , and check if this guy meets 75% of it , if he does , accept him. He can still turn out to be a fool after sex o, I can’t give u any assurance, men r wicked . But that’s a step to the right direction.

You are still young @25-30. And I think u have only learnt imtellctually not practically.

How about a billard board?

Johnson225:
Get a standard America table tennis court to keep busy during this lockdown. Delivery within and outside Lagos. Whatssap: 07065417708

Yes it's rampant nowadays.