piamily:
I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit. I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when the men love the women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

Am guilty of this and I dont understand either.

Maybe it another mysteries of nature.

But I suspect it a form of defense to act more as a trophy in the relationship so as not to lose the lady (all in all it an evidence of the guy being really interested in the lady).

Now that what we call code of an alpha male(badboy)�

Put it in a test and try to leave the relationship you will see how the guy's actions will be reversed.

Zoie:
The average Nigerian man suffers from an extremely weak self esteem that needs to stay constantly bloated to stay functional.
That's why they chase after ladies who treat them like shi.t and avoid ladies who show them love. The hunt makes them happy. The thrill of having to constantly woo a woman makes them feel good. Makes them feel she is better than the one who shows love even without being wooed..even if the former is a retired runs girl.

Not really

xcabczyxabczzzz:

Really needed this, thanks.

Yw. I wanted to add. Relationships and friendships that don't work on the short term may still work in the longer run. It's good to keep lines of communication and cordiality. For example, my elder sisters ex despite having excellent qualities, handsome, hardworking in Europe couldn't get hitched. He calls till today. He keeps saying had it been she was still single. So at times in the present things may not work, if situations hip changes and both parties forgive the errors of one another, the victim forgiving the one who offended, such reconciliation could foster perfectly healthy futuristic relationships. Hence why we shouldn't just ditch people and yet not be hopeful lest we hurt ourselves. In the end relationships are just like friendships where each party decides what they want. At youthful age, there's lot of needs, but age and passing away of time helps develop maturity that does away with such tedious requirements. The refinement age brings then makes it possible for youthful loves of the past to forgive themselves and develop relationships.


Life can be both rewarding and funy


CC Liliantalks

Renida:



Nah. Attraction and soul interest are two different issues. Anyone can be attracted to persons, but then your person of interest may not be available or may not want to be in a relationship for reasons like ethnicity, attraction is first, in loving relationships people develop an extensive list that's almost many times designed to keep them single, not help them find love, another mental imbalance issue in the psyche of a lovers interest


I'd rather be working on my combustion engines blueprint, factory manual review, conducting improvements in my engineering systems designs, unravelling nuclear chemistry complexities, thermodynamics and redesigning engineering modules for my future tech innovations, solving mysteries in quantum physics, writing scientific papers than let love exhaust me now. Love drains. I'd rather be willing to forfeit my ego and be chased at this moment.

I've enjoyed all your posts thus far on this topic. U deserve a Pulitzer.

eyizlive:


I've enjoyed all your posts thus far on this topic. U deserve a Pulitzer.

God Bless you

na true...

i jokingly asked one lady out recently and she accepted...even to call her now dey hard me

walahi i dont know why

They are lions

They love to chase

NockMedia:

Men are used to rejections but ladies aren't.
When you reject a lady, it makes her want you more. But when a lady rejects a man, he moves on to the next target.

Spot on.

Renida:



I love not to be stressed. Chasing is stressing and oftentimes make one begin to question oneself and experience constant self doubt, I don't want to be in this position. If I like a lady, I'm ready as a guy to work with her pace, but then, a guy chases, today lady's head is on her shoulder, the next day is not. Instability and heart issues is a mixture many men hate to deal with. In the end, we must be ready to deal with some drama in issues that affects the heart.


Oh I'm yet to see a lady I really really like since I was created

This your statement is really ambiguous. What do you mean..
You may have to go extra planetary to achieve this

Simple u had interest in someone who doesn't have interest in you

Dobson43:



Kindly ask your parents to get a refund for your school fees since it's now 'lane'

#lame ode why ask for refund for a auto correct.

while urs has a full sentence and doesnt make sense

Zoie:
The average Nigerian man suffers from an extremely weak self esteem that needs to stay constantly bloated to stay functional.
That's why they chase after ladies who treat them like shi.t and avoid ladies who show them love. The hunt makes them happy. The thrill of having to constantly woo a woman makes them feel good. Makes them feel she is better than the one who shows love even without being wooed..even if the former is a retired runs girl.

Chai!! A man offended you?

piamily:
Oh ! I get you now. So you’re saying Nigerian men really want ladies to play the hard to get very hard then. So why are they complaining. Well then I’ll keep playing it hard as usual since they think it was bread and butter they got in a platter of gold

don't generalize o, he said some not all, so that you won't make a serious mistakes, the mistake I see you made here was you jumped a very important stage, which is friendship... If a guy approach you, put him first on friendship level, there let me do some Chase and see needs why he must invest his time and energy to get you by you showing your value to him

Don't accept to relationship like that

I meet a lady sometimes ago, then I was lonely, desperately needed someone to speak too, I needed someone to listen to me and console me. The first time I saw her, I saw at least 60% of what I wanted in a lady in her, I could feel the aura from afar.
I approached her, to be my friend, at least at first... Because I can't just jump into relationship like that, this lady gave me her number... I was happy that if she is what I see, then I have a wife niyen lol
That was how the lady started the hard to get of a thing game. That same week I park her well
Me that don't have energy then to chase mosquitoe, will now have energy to chase a lady.

So, Pls don't generalize...
But always put every relationship on friendship first at least for compatibility sake and some things to double check

Pattypatt:
Most of them are always like that, when you give them the slightest of attention, they start misbehaving and feeling on top of the world, but then I know how to factory reset their head when they start feeling too important.

Factory reset Men have suffered

tweakdude1:

Mountain of fire nko.

Hahahahaha... Spirit husband(s), die by fire!

Renida:



Yw. I wanted to add. Relationships and friendships that don't work on the short term may still work in the longer run. It's good to keep lines of communication and cordiality. For example, my elder sisters ex despite having excellent qualities, handsome, hardworking in Europe couldn't get hitched. He calls till today. He keeps saying had it been she was still single. So at times in the present things may not work, if situations hip changes and both parties forgive the errors of one another, the victim forgiving the one who offended, such reconciliation could foster perfectly healthy futuristic relationships. Hence why we shouldn't just ditch people and yet not be hopeful lest we hurt ourselves. In the end relationships are just like friendships where each party decides what they want. At youthful age, there's lot of needs, but age and passing away of time helps develop maturity that does away with such tedious requirements. The refinement age brings then makes it possible for youthful loves of the past to forgive themselves and develop relationships.


Life can be both rewarding and funy


CC Liliantalks

Nice perception.

xcabczyxabczzzz:

Nice perception.

piamily:
Oh ! I get you now. So you’re saying Nigerian men really want ladies to play the hard to get very hard then. So why are they complaining. Well then I’ll keep playing it hard as usual since they think it was bread and butter they got in a platter of gold

Continue Playing the "Hard to Get" you hear.... A Spot will be Reserved for you at Shiloh

betonnaira:
#lame ode why ask for refund for a auto correct.

while urs has a full sentence and doesnt make sense

Next time when you want to rant, do yourself a favor and correct your mistakes. And stay off my mentions. I wouldn't stoop low and reply your insults

eyizlive:


I've enjoyed all your posts thus far on this topic. U deserve a Pulitzer.

True that, he has a very good insight.

Because, humans are like shadow

karli4nia:


You are still young @25-30. And I think u have only learnt imtellctually not practically.

lol I hv learnt both dear

piamily:
Okay. There’s thing guy I met one time last year. So he came up bold and said he was interested in a relationship. He didn’t even waste time. I was impressed . Normally I was supposed to dish out my “naija shakara girls style” you know, but I didn’t . After some days I agreed to date him.

I found out he’s easy going so I decided to give in and be mutual with the love and attraction etc. as soon as I got interested, he withdrew.

I noticed it . I don’t understand why a man will do this. Was he not interested? And does he expect the woman to hate him.

I see some men complain about ladies being hard to get and now a lady didn’t play that much hard yet the man withdrew a bit. Still don’t get men sometimes sha

Yo! Get ready for his second coming like they Love gon be mad.. It's normal for a guy to withdraw don't be hard on yourself you didn't do anything wrong. Just go have some fun with girlfriends, do what makes Ya Happy. He'll surely miss you & come around.

piamily:
I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit. I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when the men love the women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

The real reason is when you act interested at first, men will think you've come with another billing format

piamily:
So men stop becoming sweet when they get their woman ��

Nawa o

It seems you're just trying to justify the impression you already had in mind .

This can happen for so many reasons. So be openminded and learn from the experiences people are dropping here.
Initially, you sounded like you were curious to learn why a guy would lose interest in a lady when she starts showing interest in him, but your comments are saying you're trying to justify the notion that Nigerian men are like that .

Why do we like stereotyping ourselves?

If I wasn't sure my gf isn't on NL (Na Snapchat person) I would have thought she was the OP. So why am I being an a**hole? When I approached her it was just game, and now that I see she has a big heart I don't think I'm the man she needs now. I've never been the emotional type. To send love messages every now and then gan Na wahala. So who has an answer to my problem?

piamily:
Oh ! I get you now. So you’re saying Nigerian men really want ladies to play the hard to get very hard then. So why are they complaining. Well then I’ll keep playing it hard as usual since they think it was bread and butter they got in a platter of gold

so the next guy to ask you out will unfortunately be your first victim I guess .. Don't generalize pls. I personally don't appreciate chasing a lady for long. My current girlfriend took me just two days, I actually made it clear to her of my sincerity and how her forming "hard to get" might push me away. She actually planned on forming but after I told her that,the next two days I got a positive reply from her and guess what? Since then I have always loved, I still love and will continue to love and respect her!

Seenyo:

lol! that's just me by DEFAULT, I've been working on it over the years, yet no tangible result.

in fact, most ladies hate me for it, they WRONGLY ASSUME I'm arrogant...

shyness is that WORST TRAIT I dislike about myself, it has cost me several loss of creamy ladies and potential wife.

Ok... This is what u should do... Learn to smile b4 starting any conversation.... Be playful with words not mindful...
Call the said lady by name from a distance... Am telling u... It works like corona virus

boyjo:


Girls who don't play hard to get, are not the prize.
Those who play hard to get, get wifed.

Believe all these guys saying they don't like "hard to get ladies" at your own peril.

.

get wifed my foot.
I no blame you.
you be boy

uhmmmmmm

Dreiwizzy:
Force him to miss you; start conversating with him as if he's still seeking for your contact. It will hurt, but continue; this singular act will bring out his real intention towards you. Let nobody waste your time.

piamily:
Okay. There’s thing guy I met one time last year. So he came up bold and said he was interested in a relationship. He didn’t even waste time. I was impressed . Normally I was supposed to dish out my “naija shakara girls style” you know, but I didn’t . After some days I agreed to date him.

I found out he’s easy going so I decided to give in and be mutual with the love and attraction etc. as soon as I got interested, he withdrew.

I noticed it . I don’t understand why a man will do this. Was he not interested? And does he expect the woman to hate him.

I see some men complain about ladies being hard to get and now a lady didn’t play that much hard yet the man withdrew a bit. Still don’t get men sometimes sha

Now let me ask you, what is the opposite of 'Hard'? 'Easy' right?

Most Nigerian guys wrongly believe that girls that were not hard for them to get, girls that easily agreed to date them are easy women, girls of loose morals who will agree to date any man that ask them out. They would see the girl as someone who has dated countless men because she is apparently easy to get for all men. That if the girl is easy to get, she would easily cheat on them.

I personally know that a girl that is not normally easy to get can let herself be easy to get when she is asked out by a man she likes. But when a girl is easy for me to get I still feel skeptical about whether it's because she likes me individually or it's because she likes men generally.

TOMMYS:
.

get wifed my foot.
I no blame you.
you be boy

I blame you; na because you be geh!