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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse (59618 Views)
Strict Parents Raise The Best Children. / Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse / What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? (2) (3) (4)
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Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by FeliciaOja(f): 11:14am On May 25, 2020 |
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything I didn’t have the chance of doing at home. I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known. My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid. When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to.. Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless. Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good. Parents need to use wisdom not force.. 384 Likes 34 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by DontBullshitMe: 11:26am On May 25, 2020 |
Nonsense. 476 Likes 25 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by FeliciaOja(f): 11:31am On May 25, 2020 |
I turned out Edit: So please in the name of God stop blaming my mum. If anything, she is the reason I changed for good before she passed. All that flogging and punishment from my dad made me more stubborn.. it was my mother's soft love that brought me back to my senses. God knows if not for her I would have been worse Put some respect on her name!! 234 Likes 17 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by crackland: 11:37am On May 25, 2020 |
FeliciaOja:All of that happened ONLY because of your bad decisions and the wrong kind of company you kept, it wasn't due to the style of discipline you were given by your dad. If you had been involved in more profitable things like hanging out with the brightest students who spent their time studying and sitting at the front of the lecture hall, or perhaps you joined a religious Christian group and made friends from there, you would not have had anyone to drink, smoke, party, or do drugs with. Your mom who wasn't strict, why didn't her relaxed disciplinary style have any effect on you? Learn to have some personal responsibility for your choices. 1345 Likes 118 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by MrBrownJay1(m): 11:48am On May 25, 2020 |
it greatly has to do with the type of personality you possess...and most importantly, what interests you. many dont need to drink, party and do drugs etc to rebel against their parents authority. some will simply wear make up, dress in sexy manner, go to places that parents may not like or even listen to music their parent disagree with., to rebel... but at the end of the day, parents only want whats best for you. you certainly doesnt need to DESTROY your health/life in the name of rebellion, thats stupid and only hurting yourself. 227 Likes 18 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by LordKO(m): 11:58am On May 25, 2020 |
Don't mistake strict parents for oppressive parents - offspring of the former always turns out well, especially if the offspring isn't innately insane. Strict parents do train their offspring to exercise their liberty and live life within the confines of decorum. While oppressive parents do train their offspring to live life within the confines of their self-interest and wishes, thereby denying them liberty and, by extension, make them disingenuous. Pseudo/wannabe libertarian parents, on the other hand, usually turn out to breed crass and expedient offspring, because in the cause of forming woke, they allow their offspring to live life and exercise their liberty on the periphery of decorum. Strict parents are literally the true libertarians - strict parents are akin to conscientious parents. 175 Likes 11 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by SultanOfAbia: 12:11pm On May 25, 2020 |
LordKO: 15 Likes |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by kazyhm(m): 12:11pm On May 25, 2020 |
crackland: You spoke my mind.........I can say its the mom that is even responsible for all that.......her actions portrayed her dad as been outright wicked......training a child with divided approaches is more dangerous. 216 Likes 14 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Nobody: 12:17pm On May 25, 2020 |
My parents are strict too. I never clubbed nor went partying, It still had to do with my upbringing. I couldn't bring myself to do those things because of how I was raised, it has to do with you largely, even of they gave you the chance to explore, a child that wants to explore would do that regardless. Exploration or open eyes dont have to do with clubbing, smoking, drugs and all sort. No parents in their right mind will encourage their kids to explore such path. There are better ways to explore and get the best out of life. 286 Likes 18 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by ednut1(m): 12:22pm On May 25, 2020 |
Life has no manual. Children from strict and non strict homes turn out good or bad. 88 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by bukatyne(f): 12:30pm On May 25, 2020 |
MrBrownJay1: The above is something I have never understood. The act of destroying yourself to punish someone else. If she said she stole from her parents, blocked contracts, ridiculed them.... Maybe I would understand. 56 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Kyom20(m): 12:40pm On May 25, 2020 |
I can totally relate to this. Nigerian parents often make the mistake of trying to force or suppress their kids to be a certain way so as to avoid them making "mistakes". What they fail to realise is making mistakes and learning is part of life. This then leads to rebellion because often times these children want to have these experiences for themselves. Its just human nature. What i feel is important for children in this situation to understand is that everything should be done in moderation because at the end of the day its still your life, and you would suffer most the consequences of your actions. @ op, you are normal and i hope you learn from your parents mistakes when training your own kids. I Hope this article sheds more light https://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20120223/overly-strict-controlling-parents-risk-raising-delinquent-kids Modified I really feel the need to add that people on this forum are very judgemental without even understanding where the poster is coming from. Did any one read her story at all? Her dad was very strict which led to her having to pretend when at home while being a totally different person when out of the house. Can we really say that is a good thing? Or have we never seen this happen in our society? Do we not see that this parenting skill breeds hypocrisy? Some are even going as far as judging her. That makes no sense, so many people are mistaking strict parents for disciplinarians. The one thing we need to understand is that strictness often results in rebellion which often shows up on in our society as hypocrisy. The reason why so many Nigerians are quick to judge but what they do in the secret is most disgusting. 44 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by MrBrownJay1(m): 12:46pm On May 25, 2020 |
bukatyne: i guess a lot of them believe that by destroying themselves, they will indirectly destroy their parent (that care so much about them)... very sad. but sadly, we also have some deluded parents that will use that same narrow minded way of thinking to educate their kids, and would (for example) burn a child's hand to warn him about staying away from fire. lol! 24 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by MrBrownJay1(m): 12:50pm On May 25, 2020 |
Kyom20: IMHO you are only partly right as it has all to do with how you approach a child and make them understand why they shouldnt do something....instead of just locking them up and trying to shield them from the real world. thats the big issue here. there is absolutely nothing wrong with a parent having certain rules that a child may not like, the important part is to make that child understand why such act aint right. all kids will go through a rebellious period (some worse than others) but regardless, there are some things that i would NEVER accept a child to do, even in moderation... and its my duty as a parent to make that child understand that. 27 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Kyom20(m): 12:58pm On May 25, 2020 |
MrBrownJay1:There is no system that would work without rules, the issue as the op pointed out is strict parents. I can totally relate to the damage that strict parenting has on kids. as the article I pasted shows moderation is key in parenting so as to avoid pushing kids too far. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by MrBrownJay1(m): 1:12pm On May 25, 2020 |
Kyom20: yeah, my point is that there are strict parents and STRICT PARENTS some parents out there will just lock their kids up and say "dont go out", "dont talk to stranger" "dont do this or that" without making that child understand why they shouldnt do it. so these children dont do these acts simply because they were FORCED away from these act (which imho is wrong).... while other parents will instill the proper values into their kids AND simply make these children understand why it is wrong to do a certain act, so that in return that child wont do these act, NOT because daddy is forcing them away from these acts, but because they understand that it is wrong. there will come a time when you have to trust your child and what you have instilled in them... because everyone knows that sooner or later, they will have to face the world on their own. 24 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by faithfull18(f): 3:52pm On May 25, 2020 |
Nah, not always true. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by crackland: 4:05pm On May 25, 2020 |
kazyhm:This is a very good point as well. A united front makes it impossible for a child to see one parent as the bad person while the other remains perfect. Terrible outcome. 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Hisincrease: 4:09pm On May 25, 2020 |
You were never a good child from the beginning. That was why your Dad used force to see if you will have sense. All the things my parents warned me before leaving home to Uni was for my good. I could have had a child out of wedlock, got convicted with wrong company or even shot at sight by NPF. This is 6 years of leaving Uni and I think I am a responsible man for my family and the society. Enjoy your adventure sha. 89 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by nanauju(f): 4:09pm On May 25, 2020 |
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Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Fuckingmallam45(m): 4:09pm On May 25, 2020 |
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Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Onyi22(f): 4:10pm On May 25, 2020 |
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Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by urchcoded(m): 4:10pm On May 25, 2020 |
It is not your father's strictness that is doing you. You are simply wayward and have whorish tendencies. Being overly strict is not good as a parent but it's still not an excuse for a son or daughter to be stupid. Truth is you were doing some of those things secretly in your parents house as a hypocrite but you have only gained freedom to do it on a large scale. Be careful oh. My mum would say " ihe na ato uto na egbu egbu". 70 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by iLegendd(m): 4:10pm On May 25, 2020 |
In summary, you've tasted big dicks (to explore) and smoked weed bigger than Fela and Burna Boy. 9 Likes |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by iHart(m): 4:10pm On May 25, 2020 |
This was why an senior secondary school student impregnated a Corp member in Akwa Ibom that year. The lady in question came from a strict home, attended a boarding school, and went to a private mission university. When she went for service, hell was let loose. She wanted to explore. Fiammmm, small boy give am belly 11 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Thermodynamics(m): 4:10pm On May 25, 2020 |
Ya words are better. Bet you lost your virginity while in school. All these girls, have mercy on your future husband, how can you fuçk up to 20guys and still want your husband to cherish you like a queen when you get married, when some other guy have smacked you, chocked you, treated you like a hóe during sex. Some girls will go to their boyfriend's house and start screaming at the top of their voice during sex, and still want their husband to treat them like a Diva when some random dude has finished all the grease in their ***** Pity your future husband abeg. 21 Likes |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by nairalee(m): 4:10pm On May 25, 2020 |
Give them freedom and they'll act well wherever they are. Make them feel caged and they'll feel like exploring even dangerous exploration 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by SILVERLINES: 4:10pm On May 25, 2020 |
![]() op the whole sentences you constructed here is likely a trash. It doesn't make sense to me, I guess your wayward lifestyle was as a result of bad company you kept in school. My dad was so strict and that make me a better person. I will also like to apply same on my children. 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Exc2000: 4:10pm On May 25, 2020 |
![]() when you born your own no strict oo... go to hustle in the painful harsh Nigerian work environment, with angry bosses shouting at you, working you like slave, just to earn salary to feed and cloth some child, also watch your painful blood investment go down the drain without any repremand Drinking Alcohol, smoking weed and partying doesn't mean you are bad or don't have home training , you barely explored your options like every teenager in college world wide mostly do, and you out grown it, it was a phase and you passed it .. I bet your dad passed it, even Buhari was reported by his peers to be a chain smoker and a womaniser Now what I would call bad is if you joined a cult group, became a butcher, killed many people to count scores, completely abandoned your education and robbed, raped and molest people .. that's bad, not drinking and ruining your own liver, or tweaking your ass at the club just to get laid Kudos to your father that instilled that fear in you, made you have conscience and sense to know what you did was bad.. many don't even have that guilt, Burna Boy's father smokes weed with him, his mother was a nude dancer with fella, he was charged to court in UK for stabing a teenager, still yet he feels absolutely no remorse and keeps doing stupid stuff, because his father and mother didn't make him see some things are bad as long as you make money they are fine with you . 26 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by emmabest2000(m): 4:10pm On May 25, 2020 |
Ajo nwa si owerri baa Nne ya na afo ![]() 11 Likes 2 Shares
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