Good day nairalanders
I am a married man with two kids, lost my job early this year were I worked my life with no weekend and holiday only my leave in the year. life have not been Rossy ever since. my savings have been depleted trying to keep my family going.
skill aquisition: male fashionist, traditional wears, Bsc economic.
Real life hustle on a daily basis is real for I have to use my vehicle to run town service to keep the family going. after daily family expenses not always can I save a thousand naira. This have left me in a state of depressions for when school resume how will I be able to pay my kids tuition fee.
My wife on the other hand is so stressed out with her blood pressure increasing. Coping with each other attitude is by God's grace, as we bearly chits charts. now she find comfort sleeping in the childrens room limiting the chances of hearts to heart conversation for understanding and way forward in life.
pls pardon my gramatical errors. am open to all your critics and meaningful contribution.

Hmmm


This is huge, worrying, and calls for alarm indeed.

You guys need to "be calming down" and get back to the basics.

Make una take am easy and enjoy the lil things of life while you still have some breath in you. If any of una fall sick now and on the verge of death no be all these ones una go dey worry about again oh.

Quit putting unnecessary stress on yourselves and each other.

Life na jeje

Women only like successful men even in marriage... Hmmmn.
Most Nigerian women won't contribute their effort, yet they like to reap from where they did not sow. If she doesn't wana have a chit chat, leave her alone.. Continue your hustle shikena. When things get better, you sef form Jagaban for her. That time you will sleep in the kitchen sef, na she go run after you.
I hate nonsense.

obaayoa:
Good day nairalanders
I am a married man with two kids, lost my job early this year were I worked my life with no weekend and holiday only my leave in the year. life have not been Rossy ever since. my savings have been depleted trying to keep my family going.
skill aquisition: male fashionist, traditional wears, Bsc economic.
Real life hustle on a daily basis is real for I have to use my vehicle to run town service to keep the family going. after daily family expenses not always can I save a thousand naira. This have left me in a state of depressions for when school resume how will I be able to pay my kids tuition fee.
My wife on the other hand is so stressed out with her blood pressure increasing. Coping with each other attitude is by God's grace, as we bearly chits charts. now she find comfort sleeping in the childrens room limiting the chances of hearts to heart conversation for understanding and way forward in life.
pls pardon my gramatical errors. am open to all your critics and meaningful contribution.

Is it because of your present situation that your wife is acting up? If yes, you don't need to be childish. You need to man up. Call her, sit her down, hold her hands and tell her to calm down that things would be fine.

Let her know life is in phases, it can would never be rossy always. The present phase will also pass and this would make you stronger and better. Let her understand that your present phase need prayers and heart to heart conversation to make things easy for the family. If it warrants changing your kids school till a turn around, let it be the way forward.

Let her understand that much thinking on issues is not good for her health. Let her always think about the children if any thing untowards happen.Let her know that worry does no good to problems. It further compounds it so, the way forward should always be her thoughts.

In your discussion, allow her to vent her anger. If she cries, just pamper her till you hear all that is disturbing her. Now, you both discuss the probable solutions with 2 or more options for each problem.

Assurance is all she needs. Say what you can try your best possible to provide. Don't over flog a problem to the extent of making promises. Just assure her that, you will strive hard for to provide for the basic needs and plead with her to bring the family together through prayer.

This phase will pass. The family will be happy again.

HarunaWest:
Women only like successful men even in marriage... Hmmmn.
Most Nigerian women won't contribute their effort, yet they like to reap from where they did not sow. If she doesn't wana have a chit chat, leave her alone.. Continue your hustle shikena. When things get better, you sef form Jagaban for her. That time you will sleep in the kitchen sef, na she go run after you.
I hate nonsense.

I'm in 3D support of your view but still men are meant to be men not by our balls but our intellect. we are because of our brains, really our partners might be frustrating even when the bed is well not only when the bed comes rough. Man is out from MANAGER time to bring out the of us is during trials and down time.
it show the woman is not a supportive type, but still man really need to go heart to heart with her to know before concluding. there might be some other things she can't really pour out due to the present state of thing believing she don't want to bother him further. doing this would save the kids from undue aggression from the two pillars of the home thereby bringing lasting happiness that would see them through this trying time.
to my able bros who posted this @obaayoa why are putting unnecessary stress on everybody now? please the only way you can take the stress off ma'am and those love innocent children is by not stressing yourself. stress is not a thing of hustle and bustle but of mentality, stress is a mental illness as a result of you being bothered.
no matter how stressful your hustle and bustle is your would not get bothered for as long as you are enjoying what you do. it won't have an effect on your mental and physical well-being but the moment you stop enjoying what you do then stress sets in.
like @daddytime and @meetme01 said it is time to catch some fun, enjoy the times the way they come. life is just like the pages of our books it keeps flipping, you enjoy the story line in some pages while you don't to some other pages.
I beg forget this whole thing, you have at one point or the other shown aggression to that lovely and beautiful woman of hence her reaction. women are wired to be sentimental while we men are wired to be rugged due the rough terrain of like it is now. so I take Jesus beg you first and foremost bring back the happiness of that home by creating fun.
you've to turn a comedian to make your home happy. we all have our rough patches but learn handle and manage to so everyone would go to bed smiling hoping and can't wait to see the next day knowing there would be fun even when are not sure of the flavour that would make our tables look rosy and belly dance for joy.
bros life is too short to belly stress and grudge.

God will see you through.

obaayoa:
Good day nairalanders
I am a married man with two kids, lost my job early this year were I worked my life with no weekend and holiday only my leave in the year. life have not been Rossy ever since. my savings have been depleted trying to keep my family going.
skill aquisition: male fashionist, traditional wears, Bsc economic.
Real life hustle on a daily basis is real for I have to use my vehicle to run town service to keep the family going. after daily family expenses not always can I save a thousand naira. This have left me in a state of depressions for when school resume how will I be able to pay my kids tuition fee.
My wife on the other hand is so stressed out with her blood pressure increasing. Coping with each other attitude is by God's grace, as we bearly chits charts. now she find comfort sleeping in the childrens room limiting the chances of hearts to heart conversation for understanding and way forward in life.
pls pardon my gramatical errors. am open to all your critics and meaningful contribution.

Hmmmm ... Welcome to the real world bro

I must salute your courage in the course of making ends meet for the home.

An average woman doesn't think deep and logically hence, why they make silly mistakes.

I guess you didn't lose your job cos of something bad u did but due to the state of things generally in the country and I personally believe she should be understanding and not pass aggression on you.

Rather you should both figure out what to do to keep your heads afloat ...

Call her, sit her down and let her know that things will definitely get better with time but before then, you really have to take things slow .... Or else, complications may develop health-wise ... And that can kill faster than anything

Pls, do no allow depression to set in o.... Continue to hustle here and there ...but start looking inward at what u have that can bring in money for u ... Skill, assets etc

When school resumes, u will definitely pay your kids school fees but don't use worry to kill yourself before then ....

Everybody everywhere is going through what you are going through so, yours is not an exception

But be rest assured, God will surely make a way in Jesus name, amen

[s]

HarunaWest:
Women only like successful men even in marriage... Hmmmn.
Most Nigerian women won't contribute their effort, yet they like to reap from where they did not sow. If she doesn't wana have a chit chat, leave her alone.. Continue your hustle shikena. When things get better, you sef form Jagaban for her. That time you will sleep in the kitchen sef, na she go run after you.
I hate nonsense.

[/s]

Men with minds like yours are so ungrateful, with an entitled mentality.

mariahAngel:


Men with minds like yours are so ungrateful, with an entitled mentality.

so the woman that disrespects her marriage by going to sleep in her kids room instead of hubby's room is entitled? instead of her to speak to hubby bout the way forward, she rather practices social distancing, means she's grateful right? ...

.

HarunaWest:
so the woman that disrespects her marriage by going to sleep in her kids room instead of hubby's room is entitled?

instead of her to speak to hubby bout the way forward, she rather practices social distancing, means she's grateful right? ...

Well, it happened because the op let things get out of hand.
When a man as the head of the home fails to lead, things fall apart.
As a family man, never lose sight of the main objective: keeping your family together.
Communication is powerful. Address issues as quickly as they rear their ugly head. Don't keep them pending.
When you take too long to address certain issues, they get out of hand.
In spite of the challenges you're facing, get your acts together.
Assure your family that everything's going to be alright. It is your duty as a man. Hope will keep them going.
When you feel weak and exhausted, open up to your wife.

mariahAngel:
[s]
Well, it happened because the op let things get out of hand.
When a man as the head of the home fails to lead, things fall apart.
As a family man, never lose sight of the main objective: keeping your family together.
Communication is powerful. Address issues as quickly as they rear their ugly head. Don't keep them pending.
When you take too long to address certain issues, they get out of hand.
In spite of the challenges you're facing, get your acts together.
Assure your family that everything's going to be alright. It is your duty as a man. Hope will keep them going.
When you feel weak and exhausted, open up to your wife.[/s]

Trash.
Life and marriage is not telenovela movie pls

God be with you Op
I would advise that you don't conclude easily. Things may be bad but you need to know the exact reason why she's acting that way, it may be because of the situation or something else.
Communication is key in every relationship. Sit her down, tell her you have something important to say and ask her why she's been acting the way she has lately. From there you both can move forward.

saucecode:

Trash.
Life and marriage is not telenovela movie pls

It'll surprise you what you can learn from there.

mariahAngel:


It'll surprise you what you can learn from there.

Maybe u will learn spanish but definitely not how real life marriages work

mariahAngel:


Well, it happened because the op let things get out of hand.
When a man as the head of the home fails to lead, things fall apart.
As a family man, never lose sight of the main objective: keeping your family together.
Communication is powerful. Address issues as quickly as they rear their ugly head. Don't keep them pending.
When you take too long to address certain issues, they get out of hand.
In spite of the challenges you're facing, get your acts together.
Assure your family that everything's going to be alright. It is your duty as a man. Hope will keep them going.
When you feel weak and exhausted, open up to your wife.

Its just obvious that u er not married

I thank you all for all your meaningful contribution. It was a mass sack of 3000 staff in a financial organisation. My integrity is still unquestionable.
I love my wife and have talk, preach with Bible verses. My conclusions is some women base on temperament have slime patience of tolerance if there financial need is been delayed. expecially when your wife compare you to ppl higher than you at the moment, see and listen to how easy other hustle are paying off. I decide to let her have her way if that will bring rest of mind.
Till I find my footing again I have decided to do all it will take in a legit way to bring back good memories. Money is not everything but lack of it problem.

It is unfortunate that you wife is not understanding.
When two put minds together you achieve better results.
.
...but what would be an option for you?

merieam16:
Its just obvious that u er not married

You didn't make any sense.

Hmmn.

Instead of ur wife to contribute in solving the problem, she is becoming part of the problem smh.

Anyway keep hustling and praying for God's Grace.

This ur present condition is the only time to see the woman u married, hard times reveal character.

.

Glad you are still having your head up.

As for your wife, her concerns are genuine just as yours however, you need make her realize teamwork is key to a successful home. As such, you guys need more planning and re-planning this season. You guys need more communication and need critique and tweak every plans as necessary.

I wish you the very best.

Does your wife not work? Has she forgotten the "for better or worse" line? This is where she needs to be very understanding and supportive too. I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with her. If possible, let her also find something doing in order to support you.

And lastly be prayerful. All will be well

Sorry dear.
Off topic. I really detest this attitude of a partner sleeping in a separate room for useless reasons be it quarell or whatsoever.

Developing hbp will complicate issues. Let her come out from there so both of you can put head together.

obaayoa:
Good day nairalanders
I am a married man with two kids, lost my job early this year were I worked my life with no weekend and holiday only my leave in the year. life have not been Rossy ever since. my savings have been depleted trying to keep my family going.
skill aquisition: male fashionist, traditional wears, Bsc economic.
Real life hustle on a daily basis is real for I have to use my vehicle to run town service to keep the family going. after daily family expenses not always can I save a thousand naira. This have left me in a state of depressions for when school resume how will I be able to pay my kids tuition fee.
My wife on the other hand is so stressed out with her blood pressure increasing. Coping with each other attitude is by God's grace, as we bearly chits charts. now she find comfort sleeping in the childrens room limiting the chances of hearts to heart conversation for understanding and way forward in life.
pls pardon my gramatical errors. am open to all your critics and meaningful contribution.

Your wife attitude towards you could be as a result of her blood pressure going high due to the stress she is passing through to fix things in the family

Or there could be some other issues related or affected by the present issues

Try for your children to finish private primary schools and enter public schools

As for you, keep trying to run around with your vehicle and be prayerful that everything will be fine soon

Reduce all cost at home

Try and find out from your wife, why she is avoiding you

You can still pet her down, it will make her happy and she will be fine, that is if there are no other triggering issues

In addition to the Twitter handles I mentioned, add @CareermattersNG to the list. They have a telegram group be sure to join it.

Avoid having a 3rd child under the circumstances, it will unduly burden you. Even when you get back on your feet avoid having a 3rd child, as your wife is showing you what sort of person she is already.

Ask her to at least offer prayer support, since she doesn't want to reason with you on any of this. [/quote]

Am so greatful for your taught. speak volumes. am not the Twitter type but I promise to find my way around those Twitter handle you advice.

having a third is causing a problem because B4 marriage I made my self Clare of that. but now she want it's and her normal line is' is it when menopause caught up with her that I will change my decision'

.

Biko relax...does madam not work too? This is the time for her to be your true partner by supporting you the best she can...yes money is very important but not all. Find her alone and talk to her. May God shine his light into your family affairs. Cheers.

Just assume you need a savior and focus on him alone. In due time, you'll recover all that you have lost if you maintain self control while working harder