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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Help My Husband Lacks Self Control (75717 Views)
My Husband Travelled To Lagos 3 Weeks After Our Wedding And Never Returned / Help My Husband Lacks Self Control / "I Travelled For 1 Week & My Husband Turned My Kitchen To This" - Woman (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by virtuouswoman77(f): 10:15pm On Oct 03, 2020 |
Hathor5:if I talk to him about it with all his attention but will only say has had me within 2 months he drinks much again from one event. even when I reported to his famiy he told me and I quote" after reporting wat happened " 7 Likes |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by dorin27(f): 10:18pm On Oct 03, 2020 |
virtuouswoman77:It is well...you should talk to him about it and do so only when he's in his happy mood. NB: be as calm as you can. |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by Hathor5(f): 10:20pm On Oct 03, 2020 |
virtuouswoman77: 1. An addict can only be helped if he acknowledges his addiction. Many addicts live in denial for a long time. 2. If he acknowledges his addiction, he needs a rehab. You and family can't help him. 3. A recovered alcohol addict must never drink again, not even one drop or he will relapse. Do you have children? 11 Likes |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by virtuouswoman77(f): 10:21pm On Oct 03, 2020 |
ojun50:I did report to his family in 2018 which the condemned his act even in my presence though the knew he had such character before. he was angry I did and told me recently that since I told them what has changed 3 Likes |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by virtuouswoman77(f): 10:22pm On Oct 03, 2020 |
Hathor5:two kids |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by dorin27(f): 10:25pm On Oct 03, 2020 |
virtuouswoman77:They (both male and female) never show their true identity till after marriage. That's the reason we have many failed marriages today. May God strengthen and give you the wisdom to run your home 3 Likes |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by Hathor5(f): 10:25pm On Oct 03, 2020 |
virtuouswoman77: He needs to go to rehab. If he doesn't, this will continue for a long time, maybe forever. Alcohol addiction is one of the worst addictions. 6 Likes |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by UDUJ(m): 10:30pm On Oct 03, 2020 |
dorin27: Wisdom and not showing any gender bias. Nice one. 7 Likes |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by ojun50(m): 10:51pm On Oct 03, 2020 |
virtuouswoman77: This is serious |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by Dayoebe(m): 11:52pm On Oct 03, 2020 |
Pray about it. Don't try to force him to quit. Be supportive.. Only God Can change him. As a guy, I do drink also. But I drink responsibly. The best is to drink at home. Not in pubs with friends. I pray your next thread will be a testimony of how God used you for miraculous turnaround in your family. 8 Likes |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by Dayoebe(m): 12:06am On Oct 04, 2020 |
Above is what I can contribute. Now I call on Lalasticlala, Dominique, Rocktation, Mynd44, seun and other mods to move this thread for wider coverage. Thanks In other news, Righteousness89 is a true Man of God. Imagine Dotherightthing provoking him, only for God of Righteousness to silent the guy. MissRighteousness89 who has been collecting tithes and offering has gone into extinction and other Righteousness gang. Anything the man of God tells you, Do It! 1 Like |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by Karleb(m): 12:38am On Oct 04, 2020 |
lilmax: This advice will send her to early grave. |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by Ishilove: 1:17am On Oct 04, 2020 |
Righteousness89:Oh please. Stop being a Pharisee. When someone points out the obvious to you, you begin to foam at the mouth. Abegi. I will quote you OVER and OVER again as I deem fit, within the ambit of Nairaland laws so get used to it. You are not the only Christian on this forum so shut it abeg. 'Devil begin to make use of me' indeed. Fanatic. 34 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by Ishilove: 1:26am On Oct 04, 2020 |
virtuouswoman77:Take a picture of him in his drunken state first and keep it. Does he go to church? 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by Ishilove: 1:33am On Oct 04, 2020 |
Even the bible says 'faith without works is dead', yet a fanatical Christian like Righteousness89 goes around prescribing faith alone as the only solution to problems, and when his error is pointed out he says one should not allow the devil to use us. Mscheeeeeeeew. What he fails to see is he is already falling to the sin of pride and haughtiness. Shior. It is his kind that gives Christians a bad name. 34 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by TheCork(m): 1:36am On Oct 04, 2020 |
dorin27: ![]() |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by BigDick70inch(m): 2:27am On Oct 04, 2020 |
virtuouswoman77: Yo husband nah one comedian.. ![]() |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by uboma(m): 2:28am On Oct 04, 2020 |
Righteousness89: Your reply is senseless. 17 Likes |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by blacq2009(m): 6:26am On Oct 04, 2020 |
How can a virtuousWoman be a wife to a ViciousMan? This life no balance 5 Likes |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by Richy4(m): 6:36am On Oct 04, 2020 |
God!! I feel sorry for you OP.. U should realise that alcoholism is a disease just like cancer or any other disease. There's nothing that u can do.. except if the sufferer (your husband) agreed that indeed he needed help. It has to come within.. I don't even know if there are rehab in Nigeria ![]() But while staying in that relationship, u can <<<Invest time with your children/ extended family..try your best to act like you were not bothered.. <<<< keep loving him but sometimes when he is sober have a heart to heart talk about how this is making u feel in your marriage. Choose your words carefully so that he won't go on defence.. <<<< Do not cover for him.. let consequences happen.. that might help him change.. don't tell lies to cover for him.. <<<<Take care of yourself.. that is the most important.. and go to google and find out how some people cope when dealing with spouse who were alcoholic.. It will make u have the feeling that you were not alone on this... Goodluck 12 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by Nobody: 6:41am On Oct 04, 2020 |
U Married Him 4rm D Begining, Knowing Fully Well Dat He Drinks Alcohol. Didn't U? Den Why Complaining? |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by Vyolet(f): 6:48am On Oct 04, 2020 |
Marry men that don't drink, smoke or womanise, NO. You want the one that is razz. Goodluck to you and your bed-wetting husband. 6 Likes |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by jimmychang: 7:13am On Oct 04, 2020 |
lilmax: I can see your sarcasm |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by gulfer: 7:40am On Oct 04, 2020 |
virtuouswoman77:Answer this questions @OP, does he work, if yes what type of job does he have ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by virtuouswoman77(f): 7:44am On Oct 04, 2020 |
gulfer:he is a federal govt worker 2 Likes |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by jesmond3945: 8:14am On Oct 04, 2020 |
virtuouswoman77:he has become addicted and an addicted would also make the decision to stop. You can help him by making sure he has no access to anything like alcohol. For example whenever he buys, don't allow him to drink, go ahead and break the bottle. If possible cut down on events. The key is make sure he has little access to drinks. You can also bombard him with the side effects of drinking. Let his brain rewire. It would help him make that decision to stop. |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by Bj5all(m): 8:14am On Oct 04, 2020 |
it's a very painful thing to experience my sister. Apart from it being painful, it's also very embarrassing and disgraceful. It is an addiction problem and if there is no quick reversal, it will get worse. You should approach it medically, he needs to see a psychologist to help him break the addiction, he is not too different from someone who is addicted to drugs. You can also backed it up with prayer too. Personally you also need to watch your health so doesn't drive you to depression, when you get depressed, that can things worse for him too 5 Likes |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by dorin27(f): 8:16am On Oct 04, 2020 |
UDUJ:Gracias 1 Like |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by Zither(m): 8:19am On Oct 04, 2020 |
Righteousness89: Practical solution. I hope you know it is not everything you must confine to spiritual practices. You take logical, practical steps to solve a problem while backing it up with prayers. If you are hungry isn't it illogical to call God to provide food for you when you already have the resources to satisfy your need? @Op, I think you should look up to see if there is any group for those who once were alcoholics and are living sober now so you and your husband can join them. Their experiences and interaction with him could make him see things in a much different light resulting in a positive change from his alcohol addiction. Make a research of folks who have given up the bottle and why and how they were able to achieve that. it may help you (him). There is something though. It is dangerous to live under the same roof with someone who is given to drink. He may commit a crime and not know till the effects of the drink have washed away much much later. Let him know you do not feel safe with his drinking habits anymore and threaten to seek separation from him if he does not desist from drinking. This is just to know his reaction... If he really loves you he will stop it gradually or at once. Lastly, like Righteousness89 said, pray for him, for his liberation from the stronghold of drinking addiction. Always maintain positive thoughts about him. You always get what you say or imagine. Wish you all the best. 11 Likes |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by LadySarah: 8:24am On Oct 04, 2020 |
Vyolet: This is unnecessary pls 21 Likes |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by LadySarah: 8:30am On Oct 04, 2020 |
A good woman said she cured her husband s own by taking him to the mortuary on one of those days. After the mortuary attendants and the fear of dead ppl around him dealt with him, he never looked back. You have to do something drastic. Stop cleaning those beds! Stop doing anything at all. Let him wake up and clean after himself. Stop telling ppl. Tell him that if he wants this marriage to continue! You are giving him a time frame to work on himself else you walk out.By this I hop you have something doing. Someone his parents couldn't change is who you are beating yourself over. Tell him to get a lawyer and write his will already so you can't be caught awares incase he dies since you and his kids aren't enough motivation for him to stop drinking. The men that will tell you to endure will not want such as a father n inlaw. 28 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Help My Husband Lacks Self Control by Hathor5(f): 8:51am On Oct 04, 2020 |
LadySarah: Very unnecessary and very ignorant taking into consideration all the cleverly devised strategies addicts use to hide their addiction. |
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