purples25:


Who said sex is an assurance that a man will give a woman all these? Are we not even in an age where men expect to have sex without a woman collecting anything, else she is a gold digger? Its not as simple as that..

No sex, no financial giving can be agreed on. Both parties can give attention and love without weaponizing it as a trade for sex or money. From giving love and attention to each other, they can see if they are compatible. If they are, good. If they are not, they part ways. This way nobody is severely hurt. Cuz everyone gave equally.

But men love sexually and women love conditionally

So it's kinda unrealistic to downplay the role of sex and money in a relationship

erico2k2:

we dey talk 9ja or abroad? no money no love 4 9ja period! with all these small girls with big god

Even so, sex is not a guarantee that she will get the money. Guys can have sex and find their way out of giving her any money.

purples25:


Even so, sex is not a guarantee that she will get the money. Guys can have sex and find their way out of giving her any money.

Girls demand you send them money wen they are not even in the same country as you the man, Una upgrade faster than Men ahahah, One girl can ask for N50k fro 20 guys may 4 can drop same times same alert 4 ti mes, man can only back one girl at a time in one bed same room! girls sharp sha,, I only pity brothers wey never see the light

DEMZEE:


But men love sexually and women love conditionally

So it's kinda unrealistic to downplay the role of sex and money in a relationship

If we want to see road, everyone has to tone down on their desires. That's the beginning of the language of a true relationship and love : SACRIFICE.

Part of relationships is sacrifice for the right reasons. Not because he wants to have sex or because she needs to be spent on to be happy.

Its hard but both parties need to agree for something sensible to happen. And that's what shows they are serious, because they are ready to take that road of working together.

purples25:


If we want to see road, everyone has to tone down on their desires. That's the beginning of the language of a true relationship and love : SACRIFICE.

Part of relationships is sacrifice for the right reasons. Not because he wants to have sex or because she needs to be spent on to be happy.

Its hard but both parties need to agree for something sensible to happen. And that's what shows they are serious, because they are ready to take that road of working together.

It's makes sense on paper but that's not our societal reality

erico2k2:

Girls demand you send them money wen they are not even in the same country as you the man, Una upgrade faster than Men ahahah, One girl can ask for N50k fro 20 guys may 4 can drop same times same alert 4 ti mes, man can only back one girl at a time in one bed same room! girls sharp sha,, I only pity brothers wey never see the light

The girl in question is not having a real relationship. Its people who are in real relationships and are worried about losing that we are talking about.

Anyway, your words proved the main point again. Some girls will scam their way to get money without sex. Meaning, sex is not needed or a guarantee in a relationship. ..To get what you want as a woman or not get it.

DEMZEE:


It's makes sense on paper but that's not our societal reality

Well there's the truth but it's easier said than done.

Kudos to those who can do it though. I guess they're the ones who end up married.

People want sex for different reasons. For me, it's a bond and an expression of love. I don't see how a lady who claims to love me cannot give me one of her most prized possessions- her body. The only exception is if she's a virgin, then we could both wait.

You can't have given it to others and now chose not to give the man you currently claim to love. I don't smash and go, perhaps that's why I take sex seriously in a relationship.

Sex is overrated though. If you are one who changes relationship like wrappers, then beware of sex, otherwise you will end up with a high body count which will leave you feeling used, empty and worthless, irrespective of whether you are male or female.

To me sex is important in a relationship... after spending my money on a lady what else do she have to offer in the relationship aside sex? So it's important oo

purples25:


The girl in question is not having a real relationship. Its people who are in real relationships and are worried about losing that we are talking about.

Anyway, your words proved the main point again. Some girls will scam their way to get money without sex. Meaning, sex is not needed or a guarantee in a relationship. ..To get what you want as a woman or not get it.

nothingn is guaranteed as far as man is involved.

For me it makes things easier, no responsibility, no guilt, no stress. Makes you see the actual person you see dating.

When a man is not sexually active. it removes some unnecessary lady stress and insult while he values the character and personality of the person he is dating.

If you are not ready for sex in relationship don't go into it, because you have nothing to offer in that relationship.

You ladies should learn to stick to your brothers and family members for financial needs if not for anything at least it can guarantee you that your much desired "no-sex-till-marriage"

illicit:
It creates bond....

Don't decieve yourself, sex doesn't create any bond except in marriage. You can as well argue with your keyboard

Misslilbootay:
I am not a virgin because the guy I dated before made it seem like sex was the only thing that could keep him.
Unfortunately, that is another story of its own.


Recently, a friend of mine came and asked me if sex was necessary to keep a relationship. She told me the guy has given her everything she needed in a man but he couldn't stop asking for sex. She said that she wasn't ready to compromise her faith that premarital sex was a sin but she didn't want to lose this guy as he felt that her refusal to have sex with him meant she didn't love him.

The question I'm throwing now is
1. Can a man stay without sex in a relationship and wait till she is ready. (As in this case, she wants to wait till she is married)
2. Why is sex so important to men in a relationship? Do they see it as reciprocating of love especially when they spend heavily on the lady?
3. Also, most men wants a decent lady. Here is a lady who wants to keep herself for her husband but the boyfriend sees it as she manipulating him. Since you guys want a lady that isn't a borehole, why do you demand for sex when you are not sure if it will work out?

Your intelligent opinions will be appreciated.

My opinion is that its cause of the way ladies behave and as such most guys don't want to loose his spending which is in some words immature. On the other hand if no trust it would make him want to Bleep you once on site because he believes once you not there you gonna Bleep someone else. other again is that most guys hangout with the wrong crew which have the worst ideas about relationships i mean what they know is sex. some as a guy watch the company you keep,

foolish nairaland girls,it's now you are claiming holy holy relationship but you wouldn't be holy or spiritual when making demands your father's can't meet.

I hate Naija girls mentality.

Nazgul:
To me sex isn't necessary.

From my past relationships, if I'm to advice any girl I'll tell them to avoid sex and stand on it. Sex makes you suspicious of your partner. It makes you have unnecessary problems, unnecessary commitments, unnecessary responsibilities.... etc. How many guys would you keep offering your body to just to make them stay?

What makes most guys wants sex is when the financial demand from the girl becomes too much. Most girls will tell you that they're not ready for sex, but will still want you to show dedicated financial commitments towards them. No guy will ever agree to that.

Many girls naturally lack wisdom. Let me share a my own experience here. I met this girl some years ago, she told me her usual no sex till marriage. I asked her if she's a virgin she said no that she dated just one guy who broke her heart and now she has decided to zip up till her wedding night.

To me, I didn't have any problem with that. My problem was that this girl literally flirts on the phone with guys even in my presence. When I confront her she'll tell me they're just toasters that she doesn't have anything with them. She receives calls like a call center agent. Always on Facebook and WhatsApp till even midnight. And to make matters worse she's the urgent 2k type. So tell me would any guy in my shoes honour her request to date without sex....of course not. I had to end the whole stuff cos she wasn't contributing to my life in anyway. Most times I initiate a discussion with her on chat, she can't even sustain it without indirectly telling me one problem or the other she has.

My take...if you don't want sex in a relationship and you don't want to have any problem with your man concerning your stand, then avoid unnecessary request so it won't make him feel that you're owing him. Avoid flirting with other guys on phone and in reality. Concentrate on your relationship by looking for ways to make an impact in his life. It could be through business ideas, could be counseling, could be partnership in business, education...etc. also develop yourself. Let him see that your life is progressing. That you're successful in whatever it is that you're into.

Make him see you as someone he can't do without and he'll stick to you regardless of your no sex stand.

Hahahaha.......
This only applies when a lady is dating well advanced men ( aged)
No relationship of young people has ever progressed based material gift & or counceiling.
I bought the idea of the guy that said " sex" create bond & it's true. You will begin to experience the true love of man or woman after sex.
Anyways, if anyone can make relationship work without sex, well it's good but should know that such relationship is devoid of any excitement.The only few guys that may accept it may have other motive in such relationship ( may be they want to get a job or other things through the ladies parent.)

To the op, yes, unless it's perternal/ merternal love, sex is a prove that there exist love for the lovers.

Am disappointed by comments from people. Why people are so hypocritical. Sex is a key to a successful relationship when both of you fancied it.

If sex is against your faith, kindly free that guy. Stop imposing your nonsense belief on innocent man, free him if you can't satisfy his sexual urge.

I don't know why people are so dump to see that sex is one of metabolic processes our body need to sustain life functions. Do u want to turn him to masturbator? That would later affect you people sex life when you eventually marry

Free him joor

shadeyinka:

1. Can a man stay without sex in a relationship and wait till she is ready. (As in this case, she wants to wait till she is married)
Yes! I waited 'for two and a half years until we got married
2. Why is sex so important to men in a relationship? Do they see it as reciprocating of love especially when they spend heavily on the lady?
Men are created that way: sex is one of the biggest way a man uses to convince himself that he is loved just like ladies like a man to express love by verbal expressions and kind gestures. But Love isn't sex and sex isn't a proof of love.
In an unmarried relationship, on the day sex enters the relationship, the value of the lady diminishes. If she is not careful, she becomes just a mere means of sexual fulfilment for the man. In marriage, it is a bond for better for worse sex or no sex.
3. Also, most men wants a decent lady. Here is a lady who wants to keep herself for her husband but the boyfriend sees it as she manipulating him.
Sex doesn't keep any relationship from breaking.

Ladies should know that a man can have sex with someone he is not emotionally attracted/attached to. Sexual purity promotes trust in marriage.

Any man who threatens to live a relationship because of sex does not love you one bit. The fact that you give in doesnt prevent him from leaving whenever he has had his fill

Great response!!!

I've noticed a lot of comments talking about how men want sex in exchange for the financial favours they're giving women in the relationship. The truth is, when a man truly loves a woman, he would give without any expectations. Although he would not want to be taken advantage of, the satisfaction he gets from giving the woman things and making her happy will be more than enough.

First, irrespective of popular opinion, not all men go into a relationship for sex, there are great men out there who never defiled themselves but waited for marriage before sex, probably you have not met them. sex before marriage is SIN and I don't care how anyone try to justify the act, what matters for me is what God says, which is well written in the holy book.
Besides, who told you sex can keep a man? If that's the case, why do most men that get this sex from their so called girlfriend cheat with another lady, even some married men. So you see, it's not just about the sex but something more. For me, it's one's value system, self control and fear of God that would make a man commit to a relationship and not sex. If you like cohabitate and give him enough sex, a man that will leave you will still leave.


I might be wrong but I feel is ladies who can only offer sex and have no intellectual capacity to make life better for themselves feel threatened when a guy use sex as a bargaining power in a relationship, probably because of the money and material gifts they get from guys. However, Many ladies out there with self worth can make their own money not waiting for any ancestor to blackmail them with sex to keep a relationship, even if they give in for sex they do that out of their own volition not that they were blackmailed, Though I'm � percent against sex before marriage. My dear ladies, build, train and help yourself to make it on ur own as you can have options and also attract great men to yourself. Shalom!!

erico2k2:

nothingn is guaranteed as far as man is involved.

Exactly.

The rules are simple.
Don't take if you don't wanna give.
That's the meaning of life.
Say no to premarital sex.
Say NO to premarital EXTORTION.
If you go into a relationship with a guy and you define the terms at the beginning, stick by those terms.
Keep in mind that no one, I repeat, no human being wants to play a lose game.
A man is giving you money, expensive gifts. You keep collecting and demanding for more.
When he eventually asks for sex, you cry foul.
Ok...
Take note that you can not eat your cake and have it.
Ladies should learn to humbly and sincerely reject bogus gifts from guys they are dating.
Don't turn someone to an ATM except you are ready to become an AFM.

Nairalanders and sex matter be like ant and sugar... See as thread long.... This op sef your lie too much....

You guys should repent before we enter 2021

DEMZEE:


Exactly women are very calculative wen it comes to sex

That is why I doubt if women enjoy sex so much.

Men love sex and can pay anything to have it but women don't

They actually do, but it make the male folks feel uncomfortable to see women show they enjoy sex. That's why they have to pretend and deceive. 99% of women lie about their sexual exploits and experience.

Ever wonder why most African societies cut of a girls clitoris at birth? The society can't stand the thought of women enjoying sex.

bepositive11:
I've noticed a lot of comments talking about how men want sex in exchange for the financial favours they're giving women in the relationship. The truth is, when a man truly loves a woman, he would give without any expectations. Although he would not want to be taken advantage of, the satisfaction he gets from giving the woman things and making her happy will be more than enough.

What of where a woman truly loves a man without expectations? What can a woman give to show a man that she truly the man without expectations?

Romanoff:
Depends, if you're a Christian, sex is not necessary for a relationship but you have to ensure you're in a relationship with a Christian as well.

Amos 3vs3.

Premarital sex is the reason some have body counts that are beyond the fingers in their hands and feet.

Gbamsolutely!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sex thread and nairalanders though

Misslilbootay:
I am not a virgin because the guy I dated before made it seem like sex was the only thing that could keep him.
Unfortunately, that is another story of its own.


Recently, a friend of mine came and asked me if sex was necessary to keep a relationship. She told me the guy has given her everything she needed in a man but he couldn't stop asking for sex. She said that she wasn't ready to compromise her faith that premarital sex was a sin but she didn't want to lose this guy as he felt that her refusal to have sex with him meant she didn't love him.

The question I'm throwing now is
1. Can a man stay without sex in a relationship and wait till she is ready. (As in this case, she wants to wait till she is married)
2. Why is sex so important to men in a relationship? Do they see it as reciprocating of love especially when they spend heavily on the lady?
3. Also, most men wants a decent lady. Here is a lady who wants to keep herself for her husband but the boyfriend sees it as she manipulating him. Since you guys want a lady that isn't a borehole, why do you demand for sex when you are not sure if it will work out?

Your intelligent opinions will be appreciated.

Your experience could help her and will also answer the question, so just share with her that part you left for another day

erico2k2:
wetin I go find if I check

I don edit am to 12...

Nuttella:
Fornication is a deadly sin, flee from it. The consequences are brutal. Any man that wants to sleep with you while dating you does not actually love you and when he gets tired of you, he will move on to the next lady. Stop sharing your body, your body is the temple of the holy spirit which dwells in you. Stop creating soul ties with strange men, you will regret it later by the time sexual demons start tormenting your life, that is why many men and women have spirit husband and wife.

This table you are shaking ehn

Sex before marriage is one thing that is frowned at in Christianity, Islam and even traditionally/culturally. That's the only thing the 3 seem to agree on. E get why ooo.


I am a Christian and I will always say it having sex before marriage is not worth it both male and female. Even if you have been having sex before you can still change, decide to stop and hold on till you get married.

Show me a man/woman that can delay gratification for an appointed time,that is someone with a high level of self control and endurance.


Beside Sex has never and can never keep a man lailai so for my sisters what exactly is the point, I am talking as a married woman.

And then the spiritual side, sexual immorality has opened people to a whole lot of problems, but they will say na lie, If only God can open their eyes. Our bodies are the temple of the living God- some people no dey open bible reach that side


Lemme read down more I know you will be quoted a lot

shadeyinka:

1. Can a man stay without sex in a relationship and wait till she is ready. (As in this case, she wants to wait till she is married)
Yes! I waited 'for two and a half years until we got married
2. Why is sex so important to men in a relationship? Do they see it as reciprocating of love especially when they spend heavily on the lady?
Men are created that way: sex is one of the biggest way a man uses to convince himself that he is loved just like ladies like a man to express love by verbal expressions and kind gestures. But Love isn't sex and sex isn't a proof of love.
In an unmarried relationship, on the day sex enters the relationship, the value of the lady diminishes. If she is not careful, she becomes just a mere means of sexual fulfilment for the man. In marriage, it is a bond for better for worse sex or no sex.
3. Also, most men wants a decent lady. Here is a lady who wants to keep herself for her husband but the boyfriend sees it as she manipulating him.
Sex doesn't keep any relationship from breaking.

Ladies should know that a man can have sex with someone he is not emotionally attracted/attached to. Sexual purity promotes trust in marriage.

Any man who threatens to live a relationship because of sex does not love you one bit. The fact that you give in doesnt prevent him from leaving whenever he has had his fill

Good submission sir.