CsRockefeller:
This is quite dicey. I don't want to act as if your current bf isn't human but what is he doing with you when he knows he's not capable?

For me, he should be the one to pull out of the relationship and let you be, in other words, he is very selfish.

Money is very important in marriage, very important that by the time you enter you'll realise that love isn't a currency that will pay rent, put food on the table and pay your children's school fees.

Use your tongue to count your teeth, don't be naive. By the way, what's all these rubbish talk with "he's the one I love" bla bla bla......., my sister everyone is capable of loving everyone and anyone don't let your heart deceive you.

For me, I can't even date someone when I earn nothing, and I can't even date/marry someone who isn't working. If you want to be the husband as d woman while your bf becomes the wife as d man it's in your court.

Things can change tomorrow for him but hope isn't a strategy. On the other hand, things can even get worse for him.

This guy copied my mind..Some people think love is all you need to sustain marriage. Sometimes I ask them why do men go for divorce? If can't say they don't love their wives and yet they spent money to marry her..love dies,and anybody is lovable.

Please don't ever marry a jobless man o.Frustration from feeding, to housing to taking care of a new baby can even make the marriage to crash.
Marriage is not all about love,money is very important.Let that your man go and hustle first so he can pay bride price and not you paying the groom price.

humilitypays:
you guys should stop all this what if a rich person's money finishes....why must it finish


Almost all the successful people I know, they have been growing more and more financially, so who are those successful people that their money always finish; or is it because Nollywood yeye movies u guys watch



Except the guy got his wealth through scamming people and illegal business deals which does not always have sustainability, I see no reason why somebody who worked to make money would just go broke, except the person dies or fell terribly ill

Oga, there's nothing wrong with what I asked. Marrying with money as the only motivation is a very bad idea. A lot of financially stable people do go broke later in life and only love can sustain the marriage during those periods.

Forget about any Nollywood, this is reality. If you don't buy the idea kindly move on...

12inchess:
Nature is unkind to men sha. If the reverse was the case, this wouldn't even be a topic for discussion. Broke girls getting married every week.

My thought exactly

Very interesting thread. Hmmm. Love is good and money is good in marriage. Notwithstanding his state presently, as a lady, ask yourself, does he have a drive to succeed? What is he doing to earn a living? I mean a man must strive to live, to feed, even if it means working in a car wash or starting one, looking for construction sites to work, starting a business no matter how small etc. If you see such determination in him, then you're good to go, cause chances that he will succeed with 'two chasing ten thousand' is there

However, if he's a lazy bone, to with no drive and determination, please find your bearing.

Above all, pray and let the Holy Spirit guide you because your way and thoughts could be completing different from His.

Please are you married?

JovialJune:
You are 30 for goodness sake, pls go for a financially stable guy, money is important in marriage don't let anyone coarce you to manage or cope with rubbish, Nigeria isn't smiling lately, if you marry that guy, that lovey dovey will vanish when you experience suffering, use your head pls.

@ op I commend ur boldness coming out to share ur plights n being sincere with ur age. had u ever encountered such love from a guy in ur previous relationship sinc ur teenage age till ur late 20s .....d answer will give u d perfect advise ....listen 4get d ideology of marrying a rich guy... though I am not disputing d fact dat money is very necessary in marriage.... but.. I repeat.. but ask urself this very important question do I want to experience marriage life do I really wanna see my kids call me mummy... life is a mystery, just do things when its due.. age waits 4 no one.. God will definitely bless ur union I strongly belive in God.lastly marry who ur heart throbs for.. every other things will automatically fall in place cos God rewards all dat are hardworking of which u are, n I can vividly remember, u never called him lazy in ur post ...God neva built marriage on wealth as a foundation if not Eve would hv rejected Adam ....Wish u luck in which ever decision u take.... God is able.....

As a single guy! I can't even marry a woman who is not even financial OK, talk more of a woman marryin a man who is jobless... You see this life love dey tire person but money no dey tire .love is sweet but when money enter lover it become the sweetest..

I presumed you're a sensible person, a lot of good advice has been given to you already, to be very frank with you, marriage is totally different from friendship.
And pls pay more attention to the comments of those married already, as far as you both are resident in Nigeria and considering your age, i will out of experience humbly advice you to toe the path of Regina Daniel "e get why"

Organsmuggler:
Rich or poor they still gonna cheat on u, marry the rich/financially stable man cuz it's better to cry in Dubai than your village farm

Crazy Clown

MRry someone who has something doing even though it's not paying much, as time goes on both of you can grow but you see ehnn someone that has nothing, any little things you do, he will tell you are proud and arrogant, questions like, is it because you are feeding me will start popping up

Op I need to check your profile to be sure you are not my fiancée cos the scenario you described here is exactly what I am passing through for real. The ages and everything describe everything about me. I am suspecting the op

willingheart:
I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.

Age is not on my side, yet the only man I love and that loves me can't afford to marry me. If we're married, it will be easy for me to share everything with him without my family members putting eyes.

My Aunt called me stu.pid that i should accept a financially stable man instead of being with a man who can not afford to take care of me.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing.

Married people in the house please help.
I want to have direction plan for my life coming year.

Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?

@willingheart respond to ur mail

ImDStar:
Please are you married?

Yes.

willingheart:
I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.

Age is not on my side, yet the only man I love and that loves me can't afford to marry me. If we're married, it will be easy for me to share everything with him without my family members putting eyes.

My Aunt called me stu.pid that i should accept a financially stable man instead of being with a man who can not afford to take care of me.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing.

Married people in the house please help.
I want to have direction plan for my life coming year.

Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?

All Nigerian women just wana escape hardship.

willingheart:
I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.

Age is not on my side, yet the only man I love and that loves me can't afford to marry me. If we're married, it will be easy for me to share everything with him without my family members putting eyes.

My Aunt called me stu.pid that i should accept a financially stable man instead of being with a man who can not afford to take care of me.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing.

Married people in the house please help.
I want to have direction plan for my life coming year.

Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?

How long has he been out of job, is there any likelihood of him landing a job, does he have the basic requirement to be successful in life(certificate, drive, plans, willingness to get dirty if need be). Don't let anyone deceive you love is very important in marriage, maybe not as important as money.

My fear for you is that should that guy become well to do tomorrow and your rich husband doesn't treat you half as good as this one did, mehn it will be so much regret. If you can help him strategize in order for him to be successful please do, ensure you tell friends and family, church members or mosque members as the case may be to help him land a job. I think his financial stability is the only missing jigsaw to marrying the man you truly love and it is one very important jigsaw.

Please help him, I am certain he will be eternally grateful for having you as a wife.

Both. Why settle for less?

Love doesn't pay bills.

There is no win-win situation here, you could marry the rich dude and live a miserable life and you could marry the poor dude and live a happy life. The choice is yours to make. If the poor dude is at least making some decent effort to make it in life, give him a chance. Money is important in marriage but it's not everything. I am telling you this out of experience! Good luck!

My dear, this is a difficult situation. To be honest, if you both love each other, you can both work towards setting up a business that will be beneficial to both of you.
I know that things are not easy but this is the time you can work together and make it before getting married.

If you don't sort out the financial aspect of your relationship, I am sorry to say, it will be doomed.

If you marry, your eyes will open because financial commitment of the house will be overwhelming for you and you will forget love.

That being said, marriage only favours the lady. End of discussion.

As you can see, she can't marry the guy because he is broke.

Father in heaven, please remind me never to marry a broke woman.

TransAtlanticEx:
The real question is,
Are financially stable men looking for you to marry or to sleep with?
Before you insult me or broke shame me,pleaseknow that I am very very comfortable and as such wouldn't look at a 30year old woman in Nigeria twice for marriage.
The earlier you all understand this the better for you.
Unless you are very lucky but no big man marries women that aren't in their youth no more.
I mean who get that time to dey jump from one fertility clinic to the other or seeing your old skin almost everyday in the name of marrying old woman and worse still upon all my money?
Never!!!Better marry that poor guy and brush him up with your funds,else na 35 year spinster go clear you

l agree with u

Pray about it, if he is the chosen one, pray for God’s intervention financially for him & yourself, by getting something done with the little available & stop chasing the white collar job for now. Idleness is not good, it only promotes someone from poverty to abject poverty. That being said and done, cut your cloth according to the size of what you have & get married. Things will change for better after marriage as long as he is hard working. I strongly believe that. This is said in accordance with the way he is presented by you. Marrying the one you love and the one who reciprocate the love while you are both nothing before you become something will surely be the togetherness and happiness of a lifetime. I see light at the end of the tunnel. Goodluck & don’t forget God in every step taken.

willingheart:
I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.

Age is not on my side, yet the only man I love and that loves me can't afford to marry me. If we're married, it will be easy for me to share everything with him without my family members putting eyes.

My Aunt called me stu.pid that i should accept a financially stable man instead of being with a man who can not afford to take care of me.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing.

Married people in the house please help.
I want to have direction plan for my life coming year.

Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?

willingheart:
I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.

Age is not on my side, yet the only man I love and that loves me can't afford to marry me. If we're married, it will be easy for me to share everything with him without my family members putting eyes.

My Aunt called me stu.pid that i should accept a financially stable man instead of being with a man who can not afford to take care of me.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing.

Married people in the house please help.
I want to have direction plan for my life coming year.

Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?

[quote author=willingheart post=97067897]I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.

Age is not on my side, yet the only man I love and that loves me can't afford to marry me. If we're married, it will be easy for me to share everything with him without my family members putting eyes.

My Aunt called me stu.pid that i should accept a financially stable man instead of being with a man who can not afford to take care of me.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing.

Married people in the house please help.
I want to have direction plan for my life coming year.

Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion? Omo, aunty na financial gallant man make u go for o and just try luv am. Me sef wey broke to get babe dey fear me

willingheart:
I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.

Age is not on my side, yet the only man I love and that loves me can't afford to marry me. If we're married, it will be easy for me to share everything with him without my family members putting eyes.

My Aunt called me stu.pid that i should accept a financially stable man instead of being with a man who can not afford to take care of me.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing.

Married people in the house please help.
I want to have direction plan for my life coming year.

Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?

ask urself this question, if it were the other way round, would the guy marry a financially stable lady or someone he loves...ur answer will be ur decision

Ikjosh04:
The key to his prosperity could be unlocked when he get married.

To me, you can marry him, in as much as the man is reasonable and doing everything possible to break his entanglement with poverty.

Btw, no where In the Bible was it written to marry who you love.

The scripture says we should love who we marry.

Love is not feelings or emotions.

Love simply means commitment, passion, pleasure and above all sacrifice!


The distance between dreams and reality is called action and as long as anyone is intentional about their progess in life, the breakthrough will come.

It's also important to note Success in life depends more on who you know than what you know.

pls stop posting nonsense..na una dey advise people to do what they cant afford

If you want to know a man, give him money. If you want to know a woman, appear broke.
Some men are only loyal because, they don't have money. When money comes, na that time he go know say you are not good enough. The only constant thing in life is change. And people change for a lot of reasons. Some persons are just loyal now because them never see/get means to activate.
I'm not saying your man will change o...don't go and say I said this and that. "Hanty," mbok follow your instinct before you'll say we advised you wrong here.

willingheart:
I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.

Age is not on my side, yet the only man I love and that loves me can't afford to marry me. If we're married, it will be easy for me to share everything with him without my family members putting eyes.

My Aunt called me stu.pid that i should accept a financially stable man instead of being with a man who can not afford to take care of me.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing.

Married people in the house please help.
I want to have direction plan for my life coming year.

Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?

You understand that marriage is a liability. This means it's capital intensive.

You may have money at hand for the wedding. What of the marriage itself that may last for 10-60 years plus depending.

Remember that you can't guarantee when or if he will get a job and once you guys get married, babies start coming. How do you intend to carter for them by yourself?

I don't believe you are thinking straight now.

You will know what you put yourself into when the real pressure comes and he's not able to provide a damn for food and you guys are thrown outside because of house rent.

He will be frustrated, guess who, he will transfer aggression to?

It's you!

nitoriolohun:
This is a proof that we still have good ladies. It's very normal to really think about finance in getting married but I will advise you to take it a step further.

According to you no one cares in his family but you guys understand each other perfectly. If I may ask why is he unemployed? Is he looking for a job or wat ? Why not agree with him to learn a skill he can use to sustain himself for a while pending him getting a job or able to establish real big and cut a big cost on the money you have already saved to finance other logistics.

Where is he staying at the moment ? Is he a zealous type? Has he been talking abt his plans and you know the only thing stoping him is money? You know this guy better, you have been with him and you can tell the kind of person he is.

In this life ehn some guys will rise with the help of their woman ( the story of m k o is a good example) same way countless ladies have risen from the help of a man and it shouldn't be a big deal because we are more privileged than ourselves

And again nothing last for ever , do not make a permanent choice because of a temporary situation because with the right support that guy can rise and if you go for a financially stable man today things might go south.

Pray and let God guide you my sister . Shalom !!!

I wish my Ex could see this.

LordKO:
One of the things money can't buy is the euphoria gain from sharing closeness in particular and oneness in general with the one(s) who personifies love for you. Love remains the greatest refreshment in life.

So, unless you're economically poor like him, or he's both economically poor and unresourceful, I don't see the reason why both of you cannot marry and overcome economic poverty if both of you truly mutually love each other - as in both of you're in synchronization and mutually have an altruistic interest for each other - and live happily together forever.

From experience over the years, I have come to realize that majority of the poor are poor not just because of lack of capital but because they're unresourceful and lack definiteness of purpose. A resourceful person with definiteness of purpose doesn't need to own millions in cash to establish a multimillion business empire.

Money is very easy to make, all things being equal, but finding that one person who personifies love for you is very hard to find even when other things are equal.

Meanwhile, in the absence of love, you can still find fickle happiness with the rich guy even if you don't love him/he doesn't personify love for you, provided that you've greed for money and a greedy woman doesn't repulse him and you truly personify love to him.

Oil plenty for your head, Boss.

The three ingredients that holds marriages are viz: Money, Sex and Communication.

Money is like the condiment that spices marriage. Without it Marriage will be devoid of its sweetness.

Marry the financially stable one and learn to love him

On a serious note tho, people's financial situations change. Rich can become poor, poor can become rich...but love and loyalty aren't easy to come by

Ain't married but why can't u give him the money u r saving for the wedding, maybe he could use it for business instead of saving with no profit..
Note: if u love n trust him ni o.

CsRockefeller:
This is quite dicey. I don't want to act as if your current bf isn't human but what is he doing with you when he knows he's not capable?

For me, he should be the one to pull out of the relationship and let you be, in other words, he is very selfish.

Money is very important in marriage, very important that by the time you enter you'll realise that love isn't a currency that will pay rent, put food on the table and pay your children's school fees.

Use your tongue to count your teeth, don't be naive. By the way, what's all these rubbish talk with "he's the one I love" bla bla bla......., my sister everyone is capable of loving everyone and anyone don't let your heart deceive you.

For me, I can't even date someone when I earn nothing, and I can't even date/marry someone who isn't working. If you want to be the husband as d woman while your bf becomes the wife as d man it's in your court.

Things can change tomorrow for him but hope isn't a strategy. On the other hand, things can even get worse for him.

As he's jobless. Nothing is guaranteed. There's the tendecy he could be lazy and turn to gambling and futher to alcohol and drugs to try to escape reality.

It were even better that he was working and underpaid than jobless.

That joblessness hides a lot of things you know nothing about!