Time my dear.... Give it time... Time will sort tinx out.... Often times we tink we dnt have time and we run into hasty decisions..... Only to later realize if only we did give it a little more time....

That money you both want to use for wedding why not you use it to set up a business that can fetch you both money and see how he's committed and able manage to make the business grow?
Some of the wedding money can be used to make him learn a skill and be making money in other to prepare for wedding and post wedding.
Let your man learn a skill, I know people getting 7-15 thousand naira every week or more than that with a skill.
Post wedding is the problem, if you love your husband you both have to plan to keep the love going because Nigeria isn't smiling on anyone oh.
You both plan on a business to sustain your marriage and bills or let your man learn a skill before your wedding so that support can come from him too.
I have guys who got the woman they love pregnant, had a skill to support the family. One the guys I know had to send his wife and kids to the village, brought them back to the city due to the skills he has which money came from the job he got, Covid-19 is slowing things down. It is not easy but you both can overcome with plans and prayers.

willingheart:
I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.

Age is not on my side, yet the only man I love and that loves me can't afford to marry me. If we're married, it will be easy for me to share everything with him without my family members putting eyes.

My Aunt called me stu.pid that i should accept a financially stable man instead of being with a man who can not afford to take care of me.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing.

Married people in the house please help.
I want to have direction plan for my life coming year.

Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?

please let the youngman know what you have already decided in your heart but just waiting for some sort of justification from nairalanders. If u have found someone that is financially stable please go ahead, it's a decision u and u alone can make! Money is very important in marriage, but love and peace are by far, superior. Goodluck

willingheart:
I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.

Age is not on my side, yet the only man I love and that loves me can't afford to marry me. If we're married, it will be easy for me to share everything with him without my family members putting eyes.

My Aunt called me stu.pid that i should accept a financially stable man instead of being with a man who can not afford to take care of me.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing.

Married people in the house please help.
I want to have direction plan for my life coming year.

Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?

That negroe may not marry you. Stop dating financially unstable negroes. It's a gamble. You have everything to lose.

When they have money, that's when you will see their true colors. He is pobably among the typical frustrated nairalanders using a moniker that you know nothing about forming redpill and negroe version of alpha.

Guy self no dey shame say you dey feed am. If he can't afford to get married, why be in a relationship?

Charley2018:
trust me dear u dont need experienced married folks to advice u cus they themselves havent mastered it yet, why dont u ask God to show u who ur life partner is by doing something u have never done b4 for God, think about it dear

I keep telling ppl marriage no get manual. Some months back we had this debate about getting the right woman in most cases na luck.
Imagine our fathers, they never attended any marriage counseling yet no divorce. On the contrary today we pass through 6months of marriage counselling and yet divorce few yrs down the line.
I wish it works out like a movie script with a happy ending but life is not a nollywood script were u can tell how the end looks like.
From her narration its a no no from me. But we dont know if the guy is industrious and learned, cos some broke guys only need a push and they will light up the whole place.

Lol. I love the way people misquote the bible. The woman doesn't have to love her husband, neither does the man need to honor/respect his wife. Wow

fannybaby:
The bible already has the answer. Wives honor your husband and husband love your wife....

It is your husband that is suppose to love you. If the financial stable guy loves you, please go for him.

If the other guy have some change tomorrow, he won't still give you money to run the house

Don’t bother with wedding for now, the money you’ve saved for wedding use it to set up a business for him if he’s an ambitious person and not a lazy man...

Marry ur love. He that is down need swear no fall. You'd be happy than being pumped by a face you don't like

If a guy/girl is broke at 35, thats a big red flag.

Its not about the money. Money comes and goes. But do you have resources/skills that can bring in cash flow? Is he educated? To what level? Does he have a sellable skill? Does he have work experience that can propel him to get a job?

If the answers to all of these questions are mostly no, my sister, its best you let him be to figure out his life.

Awwwww Soo sorry this is happening to you, there's no alternative to financial stability or means in marriage.

It tears home apart in seconds, you are not alone in this battle some have it at the beginning like you, others face it in the middle of their marriage.

Whichever it is up to the 2 of you to make up your mind if u want to spend the rest of your lives together enduring come what may!

If you love him, you will be taking a risk !

The other stable guy isn't bad either, love grows in marriage and him making you happy financially might cause you to grow a different kind of affection later in life.

Those are real life terms I have seen and experience

Go for what you love

Organsmuggler:
Rich or poor they still gonna cheat on u, marry the rich/financially stable man cuz it's better to cry in Dubai than your village farm

Lol u and dis ur mouth.
:-D

TransAtlanticEx:
The real question is,
Are financially stable men looking for you to marry or to sleep with?
Before you insult me or broke shame me,pleaseknow that I am very very comfortable and as such wouldn't look at a 30year old woman in Nigeria twice for marriage.
The earlier you all understand this the better for you.
Unless you are very lucky but no big man marries women that aren't in their youth no more.
I mean who get that time to dey jump from one fertility clinic to the other or seeing your old skin almost everyday in the name of marrying old woman and worse still upon all my money?
Never!!!Better marry that poor guy and brush him up with your funds,else na 35 year spinster go clear you

great

willingheart:
I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.

Age is not on my side, yet the only man I love and that loves me can't afford to marry me. If we're married, it will be easy for me to share everything with him without my family members putting eyes.

My Aunt called me stu.pid that i should accept a financially stable man instead of being with a man who can not afford to take care of me.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing.

Married people in the house please help.
I want to have direction plan for my life coming year.

Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?

Man this is hard! I don't even know how to advise you, but you're 30 and you love a 35 jobless guy, does he have any working experience, I need to know if he has worked before what has he done before? Just to know he didn't grow to 35 at home without any working experience, it tells you if he was productive in the past and did something with his 20's or if he is hard working in the first place. Right now.... He can learn how to trade Cryptocurrency or Forex options, he can learn these things to make small money, or open a barbing salon and employ a barber if he's not the soft kind of guy, and you can support him financially to learn any of these things within a year. I don't think any normal man should be happy marrying broke... I never dated when things were rough for me, konji almost killed me, I can't understand a broke guy who gets the opportunity to touch a woman highest I did was chat girls online if you get married and get pregnant it will become another big wahala for you, another bill, if he then becomes frustrated by his circumstance and has to come home drunk and keeping late nights another problem, because it gets to a point people become tired and live life anyhow. So be very careful, be very realistic, I wouldn't want to take another man's child to come and suffer with me, and worse I don't want to bring a child to come to this world and suffer. Marriage is a long thing none of you has been there... So don't make assumptions. This relationship looks like it has lasted, or you're worried about your age, calm down. If you have some money say 100k or 200k give the guy to use it to do something and see how his life changes in 5 months... Support him through the months and see what he does with the 200k, don't be giving him money to buy useless things he should be able to buy for himself, give him money to do something no matter how small. The guy could even open a fish farming business selling his fish after couple of months and making money. See this is what will tell you if the guy is marriageable, if after 5 months you see some improvements then keep still and see another 5 months, after this check and balance final result, did he do well with the money you gave him? Did he improve and can afford to buy things himself or support you with money, ask him to give you 5 -10k to buy something and see if he could afford that? Then decide. If the guy fails, I'm sorry, you tried. You can safely exit the relationship. It's hard but you have done your best and you can't marry for just emotions, there is more, once sex becomes a normal thing, you will look out for more in your marriage. May God see you through.

Ask Ubunja the acclaimed redpiller. I know he'd go for the financially stable one. Wrinkled gigolo wailing redpiller.

willingheart:
I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.

Age is not on my side, yet the only man I love and that loves me can't afford to marry me. If we're married, it will be easy for me to share everything with him without my family members putting eyes.

My Aunt called me stu.pid that i should accept a financially stable man instead of being with a man who can not afford to take care of me.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing.

Married people in the house please help.
I want to have direction plan for my life coming year.

Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?

I am a sucker for “genuine” love bt I’m very practical also so... First I have a few questions.

How long have u been with him and he’s been struggling??

How long has he been struggling and what concrete attempts has he made all this while? U must evaluate this to be able to either help him or make a proper decision.

Does he have a concrete plan any plan he’s working on??

Is he lazy, laid back and enjoying u just help him while he keeps giving excuses??

What’s his biggest achievements sofar b4 or while with u?

Is he ambitious or just a lover boy living in a fools paradise?

Have u tried to get him help or a job? Has he handled anything significant b4 career wise and how did he fair on it??

Love is sweet bt it doesn’t pay bills. U must know when it’s worth it and when it’s not.

Don’t let those lazy and greedy goldiggers gals and guys tell u rubbish. U must evaluate the situation properly and practically and decide. U may have to leave him and u may have to stay.

U cud leave and then he blows.. what wud u now say?? My advice will be u give him space to grow while being there more as a supportive frnd than a galfrnd and see if he picks up. Sometimes emotional baggage hinder growth and focus.

People advicing u on money 1st are only half correct and not even 70% right. What stops u urself from being Rich?? Must u marry sm1 rich to be stable?? I completely disagree with that mentality.

Always marry for the right reasons cos it’s for a lifetime. Money isn’t the only reason bt just one of many reasons. Goodluck.

willingheart:
No. I'm not.

prove it. I doubt if this can be a coincidence cos that is exactly my situation with every parameter you put up there. Are u based in Oshogbo?
cos I don't believe you. perhaps you posted this story on behalf of somebody.

Financial stability doesn't guarantee peaceful marriage, if ii were u I will see is this my love having good view just that no money? This is my 21yrs in marriage I choose love over rich guy then and till date that love bond us back whenever there s rift, though am sure am just lucky my man does t drink, keep or hangout with friends nor womanize publicly. Love is the key t o long lasting union especially if u are independent or working class. Think well don't pay much attention to material things nor others view. Pray about it and follow ur mind. May God guide u

Ikjosh04:


*The key to his prosperity could be unlocked when he get married.*

To me, you can marry him, in as much as the man is reasonable and doing everything possible to break his entanglement with poverty.

Btw, no where In the Bible was it written to marry who you love.

The scripture says we should love who we marry.

Love is not feelings or emotions.

Love simply means commitment, passion, pleasure and above all sacrifice!


The distance between dreams and reality is called action and as long as anyone is intentional about their progess in life, the breakthrough will come.

It's also important to note Success in life depends more on who you know than what you know.

The bolded is absolutely true.

Do you have a financially stable suitor? If yes, better leave that struggling man to sort himself out. But please handle it with maturity. Don't ghost him. Have a discussion with him. Marriage should be the last thing on his mind now. I'd expect he's even the person trying to quit the relationship given your age and the situation of his finances.

willingheart:
I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.

Age is not on my side, yet the only man I love and that loves me can't afford to marry me. If we're married, it will be easy for me to share everything with him without my family members putting eyes.

My Aunt called me stu.pid that i should accept a financially stable man instead of being with a man who can not afford to take care of me.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing.

Married people in the house please help.
I want to have direction plan for my life coming year.

Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?

omo I'm speechless

.

.

willingheart:
I'm trying all I can. It gets difficult as he has no support from even his family members. I've given his CV to quite number of people to help, but no positive outcome till now.
He had OND, I don't know about getting a well paying job with that result, but so long as he have something to manage, it's fine. But right now, nothing. I feel responsible for every of his things. In marriage, I'm not sure I can handle that all alone and I really want to settle down.

Sis, if a financially stable man is coming for you, assess him and marry him. Stories have it that poor men are usually humble till they make it. Once they do, they become aware of how powerful they are and they use it well. And u say u re 30, let 's say ur babe makes it at 36 or 37 that means u will be 31 or 32. What makes u think that an average Nigerian man with some sort of financial stability will want to marry a woman in her 30's. Babe, remove emotions and wear ur thinking cap. You are taking care of a whole 35 year old man. Can you imagine!? What does he do now?

Klass99:


Please listen to this person, pay attention to everything he has said with emphasis on his 3rd, 5th and last paragraph.

Hope is not a strategy, reminds me of Ethan Hunt's Mission Impossible movie

Gbam nnam collect hand
You have said it all.

Organsmuggler:
Rich or poor they still gonna cheat on u, marry the rich/financially stable man cuz it's better to cry in Dubai than your village farm

...Sister that your comment is not good enough.. Things can change tomorrow... Money is not everything...

seanwilliam:
u go sabi write film die

As in eh, very stupid typical nollywood film

LordIsaac:

You don't know the meaning of the word love. What you described above negates the concept and it's pure self centredness.

Leave all these shalaye and make money. E get why

JovialJune:
You are 30 for goodness sake, pls go for a financially stable guy, money is important in marriage don't let anyone coarce you to manage or cope with rubbish, Nigeria isn't smiling lately, if you marry that guy, that lovey dovey will vanish when you experience suffering, use your head pls.

How many times you go give advice? Haba!!!

Help him set up a financial system that will work for him.
Help him job hunt or start up a business that can help him. Pray for him. Money is more spiritual than physical

But pls do this with an open mind just as you will do for a girlfriend that your appreciate spending time around. Don't tie marriage to it. Just see it as helping a friend stand in life. If marriage comes, ok and fine. If it doesn't, no problem.

Your last statement /question makes it look like your aunty is pushing you to marry for money. No she is not.
You can still get a financially stable man who makes you feel at home and be yourself around him. When you do, its a win win for you.

Just make sure you settle with that one that makes you feel at home but also is financially ready to bear family responsibility. Marriage requires finance. You don't need to have it all but a man must be able to feed himself and 2 extra mouths before he enters. If not, wahala go dey o. Sister , you will carry family load tire and women are not wired naturally to carry that wholeheartedly_plenty fight must follow it.

Be wise

koyyes:


That negroe may not marry you. Stop dating financially unstable negroes. It's a gamble. You have everything to lose.

When they have money, that's when you will see their true colors. He is pobably among the typical frustrated nairalanders using a moniker that you know nothing about forming redpill and negroe version of alpha.

Guy self no dey shame say you dey feed am. If he can't afford to get married, why be in a relationship?

Don't mind her. E go soon clear for her eye. She is 30 oo. Let's say the guy makes money at 36 or 37, what makes her think that he will want to marry a woman in her 30's?

pocohantas:


But she no lie na.

They still gona cheat on you...

Cheating is a disease. Both men and women suffer from it.

NL and TW are not the place to meet the average Nigerian, clout chasers, cyberbullies and cyber conformists don overrun everything.

Everyone is reacting based on social forces (and friendly jokes too), a man who reads about how women deserve to be cheated on, he goes on to start spreading his disease. And women are not left out, cheating is contagious and see how its spreading. Make I no lie, any woman wey cheat, e dey pain men.

angelusbrut:


Well what have I to say,I'm I'm in a similar situation like yours just that my guy huzzle legitimately but payments couldn't come as expected and he is pressing on getting married today tomorrow, life no just balance,I still dey observe sha but will follow my heart next year. Luv is good but a man has to be doing something,very important!!

so what would a woman be doing?