A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story listened to her prayer which she ended by saying: ‘God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and good-bye Grandpa.’The father asked, ‘Why did you say good-bye grandpa?’ The little girl said, ‘I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to say.’ The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this:
‘God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and Good-bye Grandma.’The next day the grandmother died. ‘Oh my gosh’
thought the father, ‘this kid is in contact with the other side.’
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: ‘God bless Mommy and good-bye
Daddy.’ He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to
go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured
if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home
at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.
Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife asked, ‘I’ve never seen you work so late, what’s the matter?’ He said, ‘I don’t
want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.’ She replied, ‘you think you had a bad
day, you’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning the gardener dropped dead in our backyard
while I was watching!
fungsits would b back wit more, buh if u can't wait check out www.facebook.com/fungists or www.fungists.com

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."

"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.

Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," he said.

"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."

"Season's more than half over," he said.

At a launching ceremony, an illiterate Igbo Chief noticed that each dignitary making a donation had two titles attached to his name. For instance, Chief (Dr) Micheal Ohenhe, Prof (Pastor) Felix Oke. This Chief determined not to allow anyone upstage him at the occasion and when it was his turn to speak, he took the mic and announced thus: "I, Late (Chief) Robinson Ikenamuotu donate the sum of N500,000 cash."

Late who?! The hall was empty.

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A guy asked a girl who was sitting beside him
at the table in the public library: "Do you mind
if I sit with you?".
The girl answered with a loud voice: "I DON'T
WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU".
All the Students in the library started staring
at the guy and he was embarrassed . After
couple of minutes the girl walked quietly
towards the guy's table and she told him: "I
studied Psychology and I know Man's feelings
when he is embarrassed"...So the guy with
loud voice said: "₦30,000 FOR ONE NIGHT,
THAT'S TOO MUCH!!!" and all the people in the
library looked at the girl in a shocked way.
Then the guy whispered in the girl's ear
saying: "I study law and I know how to make
you guilty"

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This is very serious oh! Please be informed. I was really touched when I read this! This is a very moving story.
How do things like this keep happening? Please read on:
A certain rich business man had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a Cleaner.
When the girl’s father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it.
Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future.
The girl’s father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them.
At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in a local newspaper. Her father said “If you both come back, I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you love each other truly.”
So in this way, their love won and they returned home.
The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in white shirt that day.
While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot.
The girl lost her senses.
It was only after some time that she recovered from her shock.
The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he died horribly.
Two nights later, the girl’s mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter’s dress as soon as possible.
But her mother ignored the dream.
The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it.
Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream.
Her mother asked her to wash the clothes which have blood stains immediately.
She washed the stains but some remained.
Next night she again had the same dreams again, washed the stains but some still remained.
Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the bloodstain ,or else some thing terrible will happen.
This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained.
She was very tired.
In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked the door.
When she opened the door she saw the same old Lady of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.
The old lady woke her up and gave her a blue box, which shocked the girl.
She asked “What is this?”
The old lady replied…”New Improved BlueOmo Washing powder…it will remove all stubborn stains!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I know how you are feeling now… But don’t look at me like that …I’m also hunting for the guy who mailed this to me!


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An old man owned a Swiming Pool on his farm, lined with fruit trees. One day he went there with a basket to get fruits. On reaching, he found some young ladies swimming in the pool. They went in deep water to shield themselves n said: We wont come out until u leave.
Old man:I'm not here to see u swim naked or to get u out of the pond naked. I'm here just to feed the Crocodile in the pool

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A thief brooke into a MAD MAN Crib he stole his Phone & took off he ran d man man followed him , d faster he ran, d faster d mad man follows so he got tired and stopped he told d Madman '' WETIN HAPPEN NOW!!' D MAD MAN replied and said. '' Take dis u 4got the Charger'' lols

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if u are the one, what will u do

My son, David, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.

Activate ur laughing mode on www.fungists.com or on www.facebook.com/fungists

Fear of the Unknown
AKP0RS 0pened his eyes after a surgical 0perati0n nd breathed,"Thank G0D it's 0ver"
A Man 0n the 0ther side 0f his bed said, "D0n't be s0 sure, they left an inject0r in my belly nd had 2 0pen it again"
An0ther Patient added, "Samewith me but mine was a pack 0f c0tt0n w00l"
Alm0st immdiately, the D0CT0R wh0 did the 0perati0n st0rmed in nd asked, "Has any0ne seen myhat"
AKP0RS fainted.

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Heart touching story..
A boy loved a girl bt never proposed her,
1 day he decided to tell her at 1am at night,he type I LOVE yOu
And sent it,
After a few seconds he got a msg He decided to see it the next Day n slept very happy hoping to read
next day he Read da msg N shoked
it was Written
..
.
.
... .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Your Account balance is insufficient to £0.10
Msg cannot b send
;Dlol
I will be back with more, but if u can't wait u can goto www.fungists.com or www.facebook.com/fungists

A language instructor was
explaining to her
class that French nouns, unlike the
English counterparts, are
grammatically
designated as masculine or
feminine.
Things like "chalk"or "pencil" have
a gender
association, although in English
these words
are neutral.
Puzzled, one student raised his
hand and
asked, "What gender is a
computer?"
The teacher wasn’t certain which
it was,
and divided the class into two
groups; one
group all male, the other all
female. They
were to decide which gender
should be
applied to"computer" and give
four reasons
for their decision.
The results
The group of women concluded
computers
should be referred to in the
masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention,
you have
to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are
still
clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you
solve
your problems, but half the time
they are
the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one,
you
realize that if you had waited a
little longer,
you could have had a better model.

The group of men decided
computers
should definitely be referred to in
the
feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator
understands
their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to
communicate with other
computers
is incomprehensible to everyone
else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are
stored
in long-term memory banks for
later
retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a
commitment to
one, you find yourself spending
half
yourpaycheck on accessories for
it.

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Mental Aptitude Test

Pretty Amazing The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 23 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is appriciate cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is friend cat.
9. This is with cat.
10. This is love cat.
11. This is by cat
12. This is saying cat
13. This is God cat.
14. This is will cat
15. This is bless cat.
16. This is you cat
17. This is abundantly cat.
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top

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A lady went to consult an ifa priest, after narrating all her problems the babalawo brought out a laptop from his bag, connected his mtn modem and began to browse. He was shaking his head in dispair for like 30 mins, then
he told the woman; I can see the source of your problems but I will need to consult with the spirits for 3 days so I can get a solution, for this to be done you...r charge would be 8000 naira. The woman shouted, HABA BABA!! what is the money for? and I dont understand wetin you dey
use latop do? then the baba replied; AH OMO MI... things have changeed now O! we now communicate with the spirits online using internet connection, so the 8000 naira is just to help me subscribe for mtn's 1 month data bundle so I can communicate efficiently with the spirits!!!

am sherif, I would be back for more but if u can't wait, light up ur laughing mode on www.fungists.com or www.facebook.com/fungists

***FUNNY GRAMMAR OF THE DAY***
'~~HON PATRIC OBAHIAGHON'S DEMOCRACY DAY
GRAMMATICAL FATWAH~~.
A celebration of democracy or a deprecable apotheosis of
an hemorrhaging plutocracy, cascading into a mobocracy
with all the ossifying proclivities of a kakistocracy? With our"democracy" enveloped in a paraplegic crinkum-
crankum ,we must all rise up to bring to focal hiceps and
biceps, Nigerias"Pluto-mobo-kakistocracy"....
Certainly not democracy.
am sherif, I would be back for more but if u can't wait, light up ur laughing mode on www.fungists.com or www.facebook.com/fungists

Classic
A psychiatrist wanted to know how many of his patients have been cured of madness,so he assembled them in a classroom n drew a big door on the board.
He then told the class that if anyone could open the door on the board, that person would receive a gift of GH20,000 and would be free to go home.
On hearing this, they all rushed to the board to open the door, except one young man who remained in his seat at the back smiling.
The psychiatrist, with joy and excitement on his face seeing that somebody has been cured of madness, went to him and asked, why didn’t u join your mates to open the door?
The young man replied, "don't mind those mad people, they are just fooling themselves, dem no know say the key dey my pocket"

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Dean vs his University Students
ONE NIGHT 4 UNIVERSITY STUDENTS WERE BOOZING TILL LATE AT NIGHT AND DIDN’T STUDY FOR THE TEST WHICH WAS SCHEDULED FOR THE NEXT DAY.



IN THE MORNING THEY THOUGHT OF A PLAN. THEY MADE THEMSELVES LOOK AS DIRTY AND WEIRD AS THEY COULD WITH GREASE AND DIRT.



THEY THEN WENT UP TO THE DEAN AND SAID THAT THEY HAD GONE OUT TO A WEDDING LAST NIGHT AND ON THEIR RETURN, THE TYRE OF THEIR CAR BURST AND THEY HAD TO PUSH THE CAR ALL THE WAY BACK AND THAT THEY WERE IN NO CONDITION TO APPEAR FOR THE TEST.



THE DEAN WAS A JUST PERSON SO HE SAID THAT YOU CAN HAVE THE RE-TEST AFTER 3 DAYS. THEY SAID THEY WILL BE READY BY THAT TIME.

ON THE THIRD DAY THEY APPEARED BEFORE THE DEAN. THE DEAN SAID THAT THIS WAS A SPECIAL CONDITION THAT ALL FOUR WERE REQUIRED TO SIT IN SEPARATE CLASSROOMS FOR THE TEST.



THEY ALL AGREED AS THEY HAD PREPARED WELL IN THE LAST THREE DAYS. THE TEST CONSISTED OF 5 QUESTIONS WITH TOTAL OF 100 MARKS:
MID SEMESTER COURSEWORK EXAMINATION
INSTRUCTIONS:

All questions are compulsory.

Any inconsistencies on any of the questions among the four Students will result in all the candidates getting a zero mark.

Q.1. Write down your name—– (2 MARKS)

Q.2. Write the name of the bride and bridegroom at the wedding you attended—– (30 Marks)

Q.3. What make is the car you were in. —— (20 Marks)

Q.4. Which tyre burst ——- (28 marks)

Q.5. Who was driving———- (20 marks)

END OF PAPER…

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During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good
manners, asked her students the following question:
'Okon, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'
Okon said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and
impolite."
'What about you, Emeka, how would you say it?'
Emeka said, "I am sorry , but I really need to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom
at the dinner table."
"And you, Akpors, can you use your brain for once and show us
your good manners?"
Akpors: "I would say, 'Darling, may I please be excused for a
moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine,
to whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'"
The teacher fainted...

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A plane was transporting a bunch of mad men & they were making too much noise…One of the mad men entered the Pilots cabin …….

MADMAN: Teach me how to fly a plane..
PILOT: I will but under one condition
MADMAN: What’s that?
PILOT: If only you can get ur friends to keep quiet.
MADMAN: OK. (5min later the plane is quiet).
PILOT; Wow, how did you get them to keep quiet?…MADMAN: I opened the door & told them to go and play outside!!!!!

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Who is guilty?
Husband and wife
sleeping. Wife dreaming
at
night and suddenly
shouts, "Quick my husband is
back"
.
.
.
. .
.
.
Husband gets up and
jumps out of the
window na wen e reach midle of
d 6story buildin na im e
rememba say no b door
im pass na window lolx..
aah, Who is guilty?

fungists.com

A couple had 2 little boys, ages
8 and 10, who were excessively
mischievous. They were always
getting into trouble and their
parents knew that if any
mischief occurred in their town,
their sons were probably
involved.
The 2 little boys’ mother heard that a
clergyman in town had been
successful in disciplining children,
so she asked if he would speak
with her boys. The clergyman
agreed, but asked to see them
individually.
So the mother sent her 8-year-old
first, in the morning, with the
older boy to see the clergyman in
the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with
a booming voice, sat the younger
boy down and asked him sternly,
“Where is God?”
They boy’s mouth dropped open,
but he made no response, sitting
there with his mouth hanging
open, wide-eyed.
So the clergyman repeated the
question in an even sterner tone,
“Where is God?”
Again the boy made no attempt
to answer.
So the clergyman raised his voice
even more and shook his finger
in the boy’s face and bellowed,
“WHERE IS GOD!?”
The boy screamed and bolted
from the room, ran directly home
and dove into his closet,
slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found
him in the closet, he asked, “What
happened?”
The younger brother, gasping for
breath, replied, “We are in BIG
trouble this time, dude…
God is missing–and they think
WE did it!”

[b]How I passed my Wedding Test. funniest joke of the day Enjoy

WEDDING TEST… I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me…It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her ‘little’ sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. She said, ‘I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.’I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold,my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, ‘We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.The moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car, because I was on my way to fetch them when I passed the test



funniest joke of the day



Hope you Enjoy the joke, be expecting more from me or you can go to www.fungists.com or www.facebook.com/fungists for more interesting and funny jokes that will get laughing and smiling. We love YOU[/b]

thanks guys

UPGRADE FROM BOYFRIEND 5.0 TO HUSBAND 1.0
A woman writes to the IT Technical
support
Guys
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0
to
Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct
slowdown in the overall system
performance,
particularly in the flower and jewellery
applications, which operated flawlessly
under
Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled
many
other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5,
and
then installed undesirable programs
such as
NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and
Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system.
Please note that I have tried running
Nagging
5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
_______ _________ _________ _________
_________
_________ _________ _______
Reply
DEAR Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an
Entertainment Package, while Husband
1.0 is
an operating system.
Please enter command:
ithoughtyoulovedme.
Html and try to download Tears 6.2 and
do
not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed,
Husband1.0 should then automatically
run the
applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers
3.5..
However, remember, overuse of the
above
application can cause Husband 1.0 to
default
to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad
program that will download the Snoring
Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any
circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0
(it
runs a virus in the background that will
eventually seize control of all your
system
resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to
reinstall
the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are
unsupported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great
program,
but it does have limited memory and
cannot
learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional
software to improve memory and
performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good
Looks
7.7.
Good Luck Madam!

Cool guys there are so many ways to increase your traffic, just make sure you have quality posts on the site and you are always adding fresh content inorder to retain the traffic you already have.
share all your post and newly added stuffs to your site on your social sites plus carry your link everywhere you go online.
Anyway guys you can increase your income online through this new nigerian sites www.1knaira.com

A new nigerian site that wants you to do more than chatting online, you can also earn some extra income while having fun online yeah www.1knaira.com allows you to earn recurrent extra income online, check it out at www.1knaira.com
its for buying and selling of services you think anybody will pay for. signup is free##
u've got nothing to loose just try it maybe people would love what u got.
cheers

it takes courage, persistence, high self motivation and faiti in God to start on your own. Nice post*' www.1knaira.com

am sherif of 1knaira.com pls where is d venue, am interested

hello guys! Do u know dt others are willing to pay for services u can easily render. Services may include editing of codes, designing logo or any services u thinj people wil love to pay for.
Check out www.1knaira.com where u can buy or sell your online services for naira1,000. Signing up is free

Guys what will you do for a thousand naira
Watching programs like maltina dance all stars, peak etc, where you see different family in nigerian from various background come out and go wild for some million naira
I just kept wondering that as small as naira1,000 is, what will people do for a thousand naira after coming across this nigerian site ( can you imagine somebody is willing to be a facebook boyfriend or girl friend for two weeks for just #1,000 or another one offering to give testimony and reviews of your product)

I would love to know what you guys will do for naira1,000.
For those who are willing to get active about it you can check out www.1knaira.com ; signing up is free. it is a new site where you can buy or sell anything online for just a thousand naira

There were many things that people do that waste a lot of time, and can actually be easily outsourced to someone else who is better experienced to deal with them. “Why not hire someone for a small fee who can get it done in short period?”. “Today almost anyone is or can become a micro-entrepreneur — most people know how to do something that can be of value to someone else.”
NOTE: before you allow demotivating thought to set in, why not post those nice, creative thought you can do that is of quality and stop wondering whether anyone would pay for it or not. try it out its free, you've got nothing to loose.

ok oo! Guys we all have to be realistic

ok

Our dear Naija is still new on the tech scene. So give it time. About funding I bliv pple like u and me can come together form a group to act as vc