The emotional predator is real, very real; although a lot of women don’t recognize him for who he is until after he has moved on to another girl. Some women may never even know him for who he truly is because he is the very sweet guy who is too good to hurt a fly much less take advantage of you. He looks every inch your dream guy; perfect height, complexion is spot on, dresses well, takes good care of his body and while he may not have a foreign accent, his diction is superb.

PHASE 1: THE BEGINNING:hot couple

He is the perfect arm candy you are proud to show off to the entire world and he is not afraid to show you off either; at least at first when he is trying to sweep you off your feet and show you what kind of a perfect gentleman he is. Trust me, this guy is not afraid to go every mile to make you smile; he will spend on you like it’s going out of fashion. He is ready to rub your back and make you hot tea when you’re down with menstrual pain and massages you when you’re tired. No matter where you are, he is ready to drive down if you need him; it doesn’t even matter if it is for the silliest reason, he will show up to play the part of a super supporting friend.

The web thickens, he is a good listener, has the perfect solution for all your troubles and shows genuine concern for your well being. He is not the type of guy to rush you into committing your body to him; he wants you to take your time, think it through and be certain it is what you want to do and you’re not doing it because he will like it. Mr. emotional predator is so nice; he’s an absolute angel. In short, he is every girl’s dream come true, especially yours.

PHASE 2: TIME TO PAY UP

Because he is so nice to you, nicer than any guy you’ve ever met in your life, you won’t notice what he is trying to do; trying to own you and enslave your emotions. Soon after he has you where he wants you, he starts to show his true color. First, it is the reverse psychology stunts, making you feel bad for everything he does. If he raises his voice at you,

Click here to read more: http://www.pharmacistreny.com/2016/08/how-to-recognize-an-emotional-predator.html

Hello fellow dog lovers. So, we recently launched our dog business online and we will appreciate it if you can follow us on social media. Pet Marshall is a kennel based in Lagos that deals in all dog related businesses ranging from the sales of adults and puppies,supply of affordable feeds, dog boarding facilities and stud services. Our dogs are pedigree and our services are guaranteed "satisfactory". Please help populate our online platforms by following us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/petmarshall1507 and on facebook: www.facebook.com/petmarshall1507... Thank you very much, we look forward to growing with you...

6 REASONS WHY YOUR PENIS’ SKIN IS DRY
pharmacistreny | July 4, 2016 | health, men, sex | No Comments
dry skin 2

If you have dry skin on your penis and are dealing with serious discomfort, you’re not alone. So many men have to deal with this situation for many different reasons. Sometimes, the issue is not that serious and you can fix it by making a few changes in hygiene or a simple cream, other times it could be serious and require an urgent visit to the clinic. Because any dry spot on your penis can make you feel uncomfortable and affect your libido, confidence, and sex life, it is so important to know what caused your condition and to find a right remedy.

Irritation or Allergy
Have you recently had sex with your partner using a latex condom? Some men are allergic to latex and often end with dry skin on penile shaft after using latex condoms. You may also be applying some lotions, creams, or powders on your penis. If you don’t wash that cream or powder properly, this may cause a red scaly rash on your penis. Some of the common culprits are benzocaine, Benadryl cream, or Triple antibiotic ointments. You may also be allergic to detergent residue on your underwear and this may also lead to dry skin on penis shaft. Similarly, using a strong soap to wash your genitals may also lead to dry skin.

Click here to read more: http://www.pharmacistreny.com/2016/07/6-reasons-why-your-penis-is-dry.html

Many women say they are afraid to use contraceptives or go for family planning because they feel it will prevent them from getting pregnant in the future. If you have the same concern and want answers, then read on…

Here’s The Truth
The truth is that when you stop using contraceptives, your body will begin to readjust to its default setting, i.e. If you were able to conceive before you took it, that ability will be restored and if unknown to you, you had fertility issues before you took it, you will also go back to your default setting. ‘So nothing spoil’.

How long will it take before you can get pregnant again?
The time it takes for your body to adjust varies depending on the contraceptive method you choose so you need to pick a method that has a waiting time that is convenient for you and meets your needs and lifestyle. First, you need to know that all modern contraceptives (except for the surgical methods called Tubal ligation or Vasectomy) are temporary and completely reversible. For contraceptive methods that contain hormones, once it leaves your body, your ovulation and then fertility will resume. So in a nutshell here are your contraceptive options based on when you will be able to get pregnant:

Click here to read more: http://www.pharmacistreny.com/2015/12/can-you-get-pregnant-after-using.html

Rape is one form of sexual assault and a terrible act that has defied understanding of the reasons of the rapist. It has also defied any of the ‘tips’ people give for helping future victims prevent it. Rape is when a person(s) has sex with an unwilling person. Sex should always be consensual, that is, it must happen between willing parties. Any sex with a person who struggles to escape you or lies there begging you to stop is Rape. Because most rape victims are women, I’d like to focus this article where the shoe pinches most. In most developed countries, there are Sexual assault centers you can easily locate and run to for help but as this is not so in Nigeria. I hope to at least guide you through 3 steps that can help you avoid some physical scars so you can move on and be a survivor.

rape 1

I’m yet to hear if a rapist who used a condom and while there are just as many emotional and psychological scars as there are physical scars after rape, here are 3 DIY steps after rape.

Click here to read more: http://www.pharmacistreny.com/2016/07/what-to-do-after-rape-in-nigeria.html

So, if you follow me on my social media platforms, it is no longer news that last month, I got my first major official media partnership deal. I was a media partner for an unveiling party alongside Red Media Africa and Acada Magazine. It was such a beautiful moment; seeing my logo sitting pretty on that banner did things to my head and I had never felt any prouder my entire life. This milestone has gotten me some attention and some of my blogger friends have been asking me how I did it in just less than 4 months of launching Colours And Grey and I feel I actually need to share “how it happened” with so many other bloggers who think it is hard to actually get this kind of deals, especially when you are just starting out.

Below are some of the tips that worked for me (and I am sure if you put it to use too, it will work magic for you too):
http://www.coloursandgrey.com/got-first-official-media-partnership-deal-less-4-months/

Thanks to many awesome techies, there are almost hundreds of blogging tools and apps launched everyday in a bid to assist bloggers have smoother and more successful blogging career. But, of course, we can’t use every tool and app and so, there is the constant struggle of which is the best and most secure. In my almost 4 years of being a blogger, I have tried so many of these tools; some paid, some free and it can be so frustrating or disappointing when an app (especially the paid one) does not do what it is meant to do, is hard to understand/use and doesn’t protect your private details from the ever prying eyes of hackers.

In order to save my fellow bloggers, especially the newbies, the headache of trying new tools/apps and not getting the desired results, I have compiled a list of my favorite “tried and trusted” blogging (offline and online) tools and apps that have not only saved me time but have equally saved me money; the best part is, these tools are free, very easy to use and secure.

Pixabay:

click here to read more: http://www.coloursandgrey.com/10-free-essential-blogging-tools-and-apps/

Although I have always used WordPress for my personal blogs but in my almost 4 years of being a blogger and handling some online businesses plus in my recent training with Google, I have practically seen and used almost all the Web Content Managing Systems (CMS) out there. I am sure you will be surprised there are more content managing systems other than WordPress, Blogger or Magento. There are so many others like Joomla, Drupal, Expression Engine, Text Pattern, Radiant CMS; just google simple and usable web content management systems and you will be shocked at the list(s) you will find.

Amongst all these plenty CMS, the WordPress is my favourite and one of the highly recommended and used by so many web developers. Currently, WordPress powers 22.5% of all websites in the world (which is the most used in the world) and it is used by platforms like Google, Time Magazine, Facebook, LinkedIn, eBay, Sony, The New York Times, Disney and so much more because of its robust features. Note that WordPress is not only meant for blogging; it has grown over the years to accommodate so many features and plugins that will enable you run a successful business/company website or an online market on it.

WordPress is one of the most highly versatile Content Managing Systems and these are some of the benefits of running your platform on WordPress:

click here to read more: http://www.coloursandgrey.com/blogging-101-wordpress/

Congratulation if you decided blogging is for you after reading my last post (in case you missed it, you can read it here). You have made an awesome decision as blogging is not only an exciting process (although very tasking), it is also very lucrative (if you’re doing it right). Trust me, you can meet a lot of awesome people, make lots of amazing friends, make great cash from blogging and other business affiliated with your blogging niche.

For instance, if you’re going to be a personal style blogger, people could pay you to style them and maybe become a model for a clothing line. You could also be called to speak at events and teach. A lot of people have snagged major endorsements and business deals via blogging, and darling, you can too. But before we start popping champagne to celebrate the good fortunes to come, you should ask yourself: “How much do I really know about blogging?”. Because what you know and don’t know will mar or make your blogging career.

For me, to be a successful blogger, you have to know a lot about what you’re getting into. Don’t get so excited that you leave everything to the hands of fate or good will. Ignorance will only make your effort and expenses worthless; not knowing so much about what I was getting into made me waste money and energy with my first ever .com blog. It was such a painful thing that I vowed my next blog (coloursandgrey) would be carefully thought out and I would do a lot of research so I won’t be bitten the second time.

Researching and making inquiries will make your blogging process easier because you know what to do and how to do it; you know what they say, knowledge is power. So, empower yourself and try to learn about the things highlighted below:

Click here to read more: http://www.coloursandgrey.com/blogging-101-enlightenment-is-key/

Another edition of Learn A Recipe and as usual, I have Tobi teaching us how to make Ayemase/Ofada stew!!! I think I will soon have a special column for Tobi on this blog. His recipes are amazing!!! Lordy and he plates so beautifully too!!! Between, don’t just read, practice and share with us using the hashtag #CAGRecipeTryout and tag @coloursandgrey on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter and we will be too glad to repost!!

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Guys! I am reeling in excitement. You know when you nail a recipe so perfectly you have to go on your knees and thank God for creating all the ingredients? That is how I feel now. So for a while a number of people have asked me to give out my Ayamase recipe but I had to put the best one out. Sorry for the wait (mixtape coming soon).

If you don’t know what Ayamase is, it’s a dish made with unripe habaneros (atarodo), locust beans (iru) onions lots of meat parts, eggs and palm oil. This stew goes perfectly well with Ofada rice/parboiled or jasmine rice and plantains. It is a really easy to make and easy to ruin, but with these steps you would nail it perfectly.

click here to read more: http://www.coloursandgrey.com/learn-recipe-ayamase-best-designer-stew/

Learn A Recipe is back and as usual, we have Tobi of AllIDoIsCook teaching us the special way he grills his fish!!! This fish looks so good, it’s a miracle I am not licking my screen. Anyways, read and learn. If you try out the recipe, please tag us on instagram: @coloursandgrey and we will be glad to share with our audience on #StomachTeaserTuesday… Enjoy and don’t forget to tell us what you think in the comment section…

It’s spring break this means no sleepless nights or waking up at 6 AM to run which means more time to cook and satisfy cravings.

One huge craving was Fish and cold garri. (if you know you know!). So I got these two beautiful mid sized tilapia fishes (is this correct?). I think so…

Click here to read more: http://www.coloursandgrey.com/learn-a-recipe-spicy-slow-grilled-yaji-fish/

Heshei:
What an interesting experience and solutions to prepare my heart for my next job.


Baba God, Nothing is impossible for you to do, I believe you will soon bless me with an attractive ADMIN/CUSTOMER CARE Job offer in Lekki... and please when you do, add to the package a Nice car that will be comfortable enough to carry 3 more person who are going my way and I can be a blessing to by droping them closer to their work place and also to their home...#ItIsDone ..Amen

AMEN darling, AMEN!!!

Blogging is very much the in-thing and basically almost everyone with a little technical know how is doing it. Over the years, it has become more than just a hobby to so many people; it has provided big bucks and major opportunities to a lot and people like Uche Pedro of BellaNaija and Linda Ikeji can testify to the goodies that comes with blogging. Because of all the major testimonies from bloggers making it big (which is one of the wrongest reasons to start a blog, by the way) or because you’re passionate about writing and you need a platform to showcase your talent, you may be thinking of starting your own blog. But before you start, you need to stop and figure out so many things out like:

Click here to read more:http://www.coloursandgrey.com/blogging-101-want-blog/

Learn A Recipe is back!!!! Special thanks to Tobi Smith; one of my many favourite “chef” and food blogger (there’s just a way he plates his food that makes it look too yummy, you just want to wolf it down from your screen) for allowing me post his recipe on here. You guys should check out his blog: www.allidoiscook.com… That said, enjoy today’s recipe. I hope some tries this out and tags me on IG (@coloursandgrey) or sends me a mail: coloursandgrey@gmail.com…

This is an original recipe that was conjured up out of a large chicken breast, frozen vegetable mix and “necessity”, to show that there is always enough ingredients in your fridge to make a whole meal. The chicken bits in vegetable medley will only take about 30-35 minutes to cook and these are the ingredients you need:

1 onion bulb

Spinach leaves

Habanero pepper

Salt

Cayenne pepper

Seasoning cubes

Canola Oil (that was Tobi used but you can use whatever other oil you have in your kitchen)

click here to read more: http://www.coloursandgrey.com/learn-a-recipe-chicken-bits-in-a-vegetable-medley/

Need tips on how to save money while working, especially shuttling from the mainland to the island, this post is for you…

Going to work on the island from the mainland can actually be draining. I mean, you wake up as early as 4 in the morning just so you can go out early enough to skip the horrible third mainland bridge traffic and when you leave the house late, you can be stuck on the road for over 2 hours cramped in a position (if you take a bus to work) trying to ward off your sleeping neighbor from using your tired shoulders as a pillow. The cycle continues at night when you close from work and by the time you reach your doorstep, your body is literally sleeping soundly on the bed already. And working on the island doesn’t just consume your energy, it practically take up all your free time and KILLS your wallet!!!

It is expensive going to the Island everyday, especially when your office is as far as Lekki, Ajah and environs. All the 9-5 I had ever done has always been on the island and I spend close to 1000 naira everyday trying to get to the island every working day. I know you may think this is small but if you calculate it in a month, I was spending nothing less than 20,000 naira every month. There was even one I had to go six days a week which equals 24,000 naira on transportation alone. I was so frustrated when at the end of the month I was spending more on transport and food than I was earn that I started looking for means to save more money. You know what they say about desperate times calling for desperate measures, I had to sharply look for smarter ways to get myself to work everyday and save more than I used to do in the past. It really worked and to help another sister or brother suffering from the “spending too much ailment”, I’ve put together the tips that helped me get through the trying times. I hope you learn something and save even better with these tricks and tips:

click here to read more: http://www.coloursandgrey.com/save-money-working-island-mainland/

Inkspression: Single And Happy

Inkspression is here again and today, I am sharing my thoughts on how to be single and happy, how to enjoy your singleness without feeling like something is wrong with you… Enjoy and don’t forget to tell me what you think by dropping a comment below…

There are times it gets terribly lonely and you just need that special somebody very close to you. It can even be worse when you turn around and your friends are “loving up” with their partners and you are just left alone to love up with empty space. As a single girl, I know these things can be so painful and can be very depressing as it may make you rush to say yes to the next man that asks you out.

I can remember when my singleness was getting to me. I have 5 sisters and imagine all of them sitting down to talk about their boos and I had nothing to say. Even my younger ones were talking about their boyfriends and I would scream “What is wrong with me?” in my mind. Then, I would jump at any offer of “be my girlfriend” just to have something to say too and not feel left out. I was basically pretending because my heart was not in the whole thing. I was happier being single than I was dating and then it hit me. Why can’t I be happy being who I am rather than trying too hard to feel like part of something?

click here to read more: http://www.coloursandgrey.com/inkspression-single-and-happy/

Social Media Is Destroying Our Inner Ability?

Today, I was watching a women’s program on of these local TV channels and they were discussing the Nigerian education sector. Lots of points were raised as to why the education sector of the country seems to deplete and some students’ lack of interest towards studying.

One woman said that parents have stopped monitoring their children’s progress in school all because they are more concerned on how to bring food to the table which I strongly agree with. Most women have to work as hard as the men (if not harder) to help the family surrvive and the spare time they have is taken up by preparing a decent meal for the family, going grocery shopping, cleaning the house and performing wifely duties. By the time she is done, she is too tired to keep her eyes open much less look at the kids’ notebooks.

Another point raised was that teachers don’t bother to do extra jobs on their students; most just come to class, teach, check assignments, flog students and call it a day. There is no extra monitoring done because most are not actually in the job but the money (which is very true as unemployment has pushed many to take up any kind of job that will keep their belly full). Lot of beautiful points were raised that were very apt that I strongly agreed with except for one; social media is destroying students’ inner ability and willingness to study. When I heard this, I almost broke something.

Click here to read more: http://www.coloursandgrey.com/social-media-destroying-inner-ability/

Choosing The Right Aso Ebi For Every Occasion

Aso Ebi, literally meaning Cloth For The Family Members, is a uniform type of cloth worn by family members, close friends and sometimes by people who are invited to attend an event. It has been used in past times to single out the celebrants and their family but the advantages have gone farther than that. Aso Ebi brings about “uniformity” and adds glam and colour to a party. It also gives a sense of belonging to the person wearing it; once in your Aso Ebi, you won’t feel left out and like a complete stranger at a party even if you know just one person there. The advantages of the Aso Ebi can never be over emphasized; it literally brightens up the event.

However, choosing the right Aso Ebi for every occasion can be really tough to do. It goes beyond going to the market and picking any kind of cloth. You have to do a lot of thinking when choosing the material so as not to offend people that will be buying the cloth from you. I understand how stressful it is to actually decide what to pick as I have elder sisters who are married and one about to get married. That is why I have put together some tips to help you in choosing the right Aso Ebi for every occasion especially weddings. (I hope you find them really helpful)

click here to read more: http://www.coloursandgrey.com/choosing-right-aso-ebi-every-occasion/

Creative Personality Of The Week is here again and this time, it is the CEO of the number one online hub for all cake sellers and buyers; waracake.com (meaning “come and buy cake”{dot}com) that I was pleasantly shocked to find out is a guy. Tunde is a very delightful young guy (and a fine boy too) and when I talked to him about featuring him on my platform, he was humble enough to agree and was the first to get in touch with me; despite his hectic schedule. Thank you very much for doing this, you’re a true source if inspiration for those who want to go into a certain kind of business but scared it is “too feminine”.

Enjoy today’s post… I hope you read this interview and start that business with whatever you have in your hand. You can’t win, unless you start!!

click here to read more: http://www.coloursandgrey.com/creative-personality-of-the-week-ayilara-olatunde/

It can be hard to convince some plus sized ladies that they can wear clothes that make them look sexy. To some, they think tight and revealing dresses equal looking sexy which is not true (for all body types, it is always not right that you have to show off your body to come off as sexy to men, that is being ratchety). As a girl on the big side, I’ve often worn jeans, tops, dresses that are a size bigger than my usual size just to hide my big butt and chest (which did not really work). I was still in my big clothes phase when I discovered Toolz.

Toolz is a very sexy big woman that has men drooling. The fact that she is big doesn’t mean she has to hide her body in heavy clothes. She wore dresses that clung to her body and shows off her voluptuous curves. I look at her pictures and I’m like “wow, she’s so hot”. It was then I realized I could be as hot as Toolz, if not hotter and I am not as big as she is. I googled tips on how to dress and make myself look smaller and sexier without having to reveal anything. At first, I was scared to move out of my comfort zone and try these things but they worked and I’m here to share those tips with big girls like me who want to look hot and fabulous.

click here to read more: http://www.360nobs.com/2014/06/curvy-plus-size-and-sexy/

Beautiful Or Brilliant: Who Would You Go For?

This is one of the very old and common controversial topics, especially when men are gathered. When asked which they would prefer to have; the woman with a very high IQ or the woman with the face and body of a beauty queen, some would go for the woman with the beautiful face and body, some would prefer to have both but most men would not hesitate to pick the intelligent woman if they are only allowed to pick one choice. But is this really true? Would men leave a stunning lady and go for plain, not so beautiful woman just because she is very smart?

Most of the men who pick intelligent women over beautiful women often believe beauty is the last thing any man should look out for when choosing a life partner. In fact, most men believe it should be the last thing anybody should use as a yardstick in choosing a wife material. But beauty is vast. What it is to you may not be what it is to another. Like the saying goes, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and same thing goes for the brain. What you call intelligent or brilliant may be dull to another person. We all have different things we look out for especially when it comes to the opposite sex but it is not a wonder that majority of men get attracted to what they can relate with, physically before really getting to know the person properly.

click here to read more: http://www.coloursandgrey.com/beautiful-or-brilliant-who-would-you-go-for/

NATURAL HAIR VS TREATED HAIR

The hair makes up a very crucial part of every woman. It says a lot about who a woman is. Her beauty, social class, religious status etc. can be obvious just by the way her hair looks. That is why in a documentary written by Chris Rock titled Good Hair, Maya Angelou described the woman’s hair as her glory. She knew a lot can be said by looking at a womanish hair. You don’t judge a book by its cover but with a woman, you can guess who she is by the way she treats her hair.

However, hair has been a controversial topic with women especially with colored women. Because the black woman’s hair texture is nappy and not straight, there is always the argument of if it is better to have a treated hair than keep it natural. Both natural and treated hair are beautiful, if well tended but like almost everything, they have their pros and cons.

click here to read more: http://www.coloursandgrey.com/hair-wars-natural-hair-vs-relaxed-hair/

I’m a sucker for old romance. I think the best of relationships were in the times of our forefathers; times where civility was the order of the day. To catch the attention of a man those days, you had to be a proper lady (Which most of girls aren’t toady). Taking tips from historical book, movies and magazines, I picked some useful tips ladies can imbibe while going on dates with their partners or someone they just met.

Be ready when he arrives, greet him with a smile: Women like to take a lot of time when getting ready for a date, an event or even stepping out of the house to buy something from a local retailer. No woman likes to be caught looking scruffy, so we love to look good wherever we go. We spend time in the bathroom, in front of the mirror applying the right make-up, choosing the right outfit and so on. So, if you have a date with your man, start getting dressed on time. If you know your date is by 7, you can start getting ready two or even three hours ahead of time. When he gets to your place and he sees you all dressed up, he will know you have respect for time. Men love ladies that don’t keep them waiting; they are less patient. Greet him with your brightest smile; it makes him feel welcomed and it means you are excited to spend the evening with him.

Sharpen your eating etiquette: Do not order meals you are not familiar with. Eat what you know and don’t eat your food like you’ve been waiting on that opportunity to eat. Take your food one at a time, do not gobble your food (before you choke). Don’t eat in and still buy the whole restaurant home. You will look like a cheap, hungry girl. Be a lady!

Don’t talk to other men: For crying out loud, don’t ignore your date. Don’t leave him and talk to other men. Men don’t show it often but they get jealous too. Make him feel like he didn’t waste his time, energy and money by taking you out. Focus all your attention on him. Don’t attract unnecessary attention to yourself. Always “exhume” class.

Don’t make-up where he can see you: I know some nights can be really hot and your make up will need to re-touched and all of that but never do it in front of him. There are rest rooms you can use for that. He will only see as you vain. Men are looking for more than just beauties these days, don’t come off as too conscious of your looks. Never talk about how much you spend on your clothes, accessories, hair and all those female stuffs. Definitely not cool.

Don’t get too emotional: Ladies are emotional and sometimes we get too emotional. Try not to shed tears in front of your date especially if it is the first night out. If you guys are getting on the border of emotional stuffs, try and change the topic to something cheery. Crying in front of him will just make things very awkward.

Little or no open show of affection: Not all men like to be touched in public. It’s not like they don’t love you, they don’t just like it. Even if he does, keep it on a low. Don’t go touching him all over his body like you have a problem keeping your hands with you. Some stuffs are meant to be done in private, keep them private. The public really don’t really want to know how you guys get cozy.

Don’t drink too much: This is a very common “don’t” while on a date. Do not drink more than you can hold. Even if you can hold alcohol well, drink little. You don’t want to embarrass yourself by doing nasty stuffs like taking a piss in the middle of the restaurant or going naked. Yeah, you can’t remember most of what you’ll do while drunk, I know. Wait till you see your video on the internet.

Be a listener: It is easy for a woman to go on and on about the stuffs going on in her life; we are natural chatters. Take a break from the norm. Ask him intelligent questions that will get him to talk to you. Even if he is boring, put up a face that depicts you are enjoy everything he is saying. Getting him to talk to you shows you care and you really want to know who he is.

For interesting posts on fashion, food, travel, art and everything exciting, visit www.coloursandgrey.com... You can also follow our social media accounts (@coloursandgrey); we will love to be your friend, with awesome benefits of course...

GURION:
Hmmm....
My dear, God bless ur heart. U will live long to continue enjoying ur relationship.
The world will be a sweeter place if most women show this maturity. Abeg help us tell them ooo!

Thank you Gurion, oya chop kiss

We can all agree that Nigeria is a very stressful country; especially the busy metropolitan states like Lagos, Abuja, Port-harcout, Calabar etc. You have to deal with waking up as early as 4-5 in the morning in order to beat traffic and avoid getting to work late. If you don’t have a car, you will have to be concerned about getting a bus (for those in lag) without getting your clothes dirtied or ruined by the hustle. Then you get to work and it’s almost as if all the work in the office is on your desk and you have to eat biscuits and a drink for lunch because you can’t afford to go on lunch break and miss your deadline. After working over time, you have to still struggle with the bus and traffic. You get home very late and you are very tired, grumpy and hungry; all you want to do is just eat and go to bed. Shower is not even on your mind, much less your cozy up with the boo. It’s not as if you don’t want to talk or play the loving spouse role, you are just too tired and the thought of going through the same thing the next day is making you even weaker. Coupled with all that, you have bills to sort and some other issues weighing you down. And then, the girl starts to complain how much he loves his work more than he loves her, how he doesn’t have time for her and all that. He wants to be a good man to you but he is stressed and until you figure how to deal with it, your relationship will crumble in no time.

Stress is almost part of daily routine and is a relationship killer. Here are some of the steps to take in dealing with all forms of stress in your relationship:

#1. Recognize the stress symptoms: we all have a peculiar habit when were are stressed. It could be drinking, smoking, pacing, being cranky, jumpy or for some people, wanting to be alone. Once you have been able to recognise your spouse’s stress induces habit, you can them start thinking of approaching him.

#2. Approach your partner: once you see him acting stressed, ask what is wrong with him in a way that shows you care and you are worried about him. Most guys talk with their friends more than they talk with their wives because they are afraid she may not understand or add to the stress. Do not make him feel as if he is beinf interrogated. You try a romantic approach like cooking him a very delicious meal and some of his favourite snacks to go with it. You could do so many things to get him to relax enough before you start probing him. Sex has also been said to be a very good way to get him to loosen up.

#3. Listen: if you care enough to want to know what’s going on with your man, you should care enough to actually listen to him. Don’t stop him in between words to condemn him. Show him that you understand everything he is saying. Even if you’ve warned him against the thing before, never judge him.

#4: Comfort Him: many women skip this part. When he is done talking, comfort him. Say sweet words to him. Tell him how smart he is and how he is brave and strong enough to see the problem through. Pray with him, if you can. These little gestures proves how much you really care about him and his problems. Don’t go into a cursing spree or judging spree, it will only push him away from you.

#5. Ask him what you can do to help: he may tell you not to worry or that he will soon have everything under control but that should not stop him from asking him what you can do to help. Be his friend, give him a shoulder to cry on.

#6. Provide solution: if it something you can help with, do it. If he needs money and you have enough to spare, give him. There is nothing bad in helping your partner out when he really needs it. There’s no relationship rule that says men do all the giving and women do the receiving. If you can’t, provide sensible and tangible advice that can turn the situation around.

All in all, stand by your man in his troubled times. Once you can talk about what’s stressing him and you both have looked for a way to solve the problem, communication becomes easier and man finds more reason everyday to trust you with his everything.

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What if you wake up one morning, so sore in your breasts or one of your breasts that you have to take a trip to the doctor’s; all the way hoping it’s nothing and the doctor will just tell you to skip wearing bras for a while or stop laying on your chest? What if your hopes are dashed and the doctor told you they found lumps in your breasts and because it is not benign, you have to choose between saving your life and keeping the boob(s)?

How will you feel? How will you feel knowing a part of you is gone forever? How will you feel knowing you will never know what it feels to breast feed your baby or your baby will have to rely on artificial baby formulas from birth because your boobs are gone; forever? How will you feel, having to rely on prostheses to feel whole again? Will you ever feel sexy again? Will you allow your man to have sex with you with your light on or come into the shower with you?

And when you have to face chemo so you don’t have deal with cancer anymore, will you look in the mirror, with your hair scattered haphazardly on your head like a cotton field devoured of water, will you not crumble and give up on life? When you feel so drained from all the medical and emotional processes involved in trying to stay cancer free and healthier, will you not throw caution in the wind and just ask death to hold you hostage? Would I look at where my 36DD boobs used to be and not feel as flat as my chest; unwilling and unable to rise again?

Click here to read more: http://www.coloursandgrey.com/book-review-thank-god-for-the-boobs/

Rahama Wright is one of the youngest female leader/entrepreneur who has helped empower many rural women around the world. In a bid to help local women around who could not send their kids to school or provide for them adequately, the CEO of Shea Yeleen International committed herself to empowering them through the production of Shea Butter. Ms Rahama Wright is a true inspiration to so many young people who are struggling with the decision to “start” having started her company at the age of 23. Initially rejected plenty of times by Whole Foods, Shea Yeleen Beauty products(Shea Yeleen soaps, lip balms and body butters) are currently being sold in over 40 Whole Food stores in the United States; an achievement caused her persistence and her will not to give up on her dreams.


Personally, I find Ms Wright’s story a very inspiring one because she started out as a non-profit company just to help others who are in dire need. Her company has grown over the years and she’s being recognized accross the globe for her contribution to the growth of the everyday African woman including being featured in Oprah Magazine.

Click here to read the inspiring interview with the young entrepreneur: http://www.coloursandgrey.com/creative-personality-of-the-week-rahama-wright/