1. Men are like
Laxatives
They irritate the crap out of you.

2
Men are like.
Bananas
The older they get, the less firm they are.

3.  Men are like
Weather
Nothing can be done to change
them.

4.
Men are like
Blenders
You need One, but you're not quite sure
why.

5.
Men are like
Chocolate Bars
Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right
for your hips.

6.  Men are like
Commercials
You can't believe a word they
say.

7. Men are like
Department Stores
Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

8.Men are like
Government Bonds
,  They take soooooooo long to
mature.

9. Men are like
Mascara
They usually run at the first sign of
emotion.

10.Men are like
Popcorn
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11.  Men are like
Snowstorms
You never know when they're coming, how many
inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12.
Men are like
Lava Lamps
Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13.
Men are like
Parking Spots
All the good ones are taken, the rest are
handicapped.

NL girls and guys do u agree with those statements? It is causing a debate in the office, which number(s) are you for or against? Any body with a definition of women it will be nice to read.

My people I don’t know what to make of this. Police were they employed to steal and rob people of their money or to enforce law? Am crying out because of what they do now on our roads. With guns on them they will just ask the motorist “ no waste time, do, do…do” and the fellow will give them N50 or N100 depending on the location. Is this not day light robbing.

What do you thing should be done to stop this menace from going on? Me I Adolph my hat for US and UK police I wish ours were like that.

From later last month to this month I notice that most of the babes on face book change their relationship status from “single” to “in a relationship”. I wonder does this have anything to do with the xmas or what came up that they are suddenly getting hooked up now in troops this yuletide?

Statistics:- I have on my face book more than 50 friends, but from ending of November to this 6th of December I have 10 friends that have changed their status to “in a relationship”, that’s about 1/5 of my friend list.

What is going on girls and guys of my NL, what do you think is happening?

Please any one that can help me with an ms access program or any database program for staff records (including their salary, time sheet and general records). Contact me lets negotiate. My email thejonny2009@live.com. its urgent.

@poster I support the ladies in saying you should grow up. Dish watching or even cooking is an indication of appreciation and expression of your love to your wife. You are still in the old days of man showing his headship in a wrong manner or way. Your doing the dishes does not stop you from being the man of the house. In my home during the early stage of marriage when no kid and maid after meal I will carry the dishes to the kitchen and we will watch it together some days before I get to the kitchen my wife will say 'oh you don't need to worry I'll take care of that'. On weekends we will watch clothes together man! this is one way you show your woman that you care, appreciate and love her. Even now that we have a son and maid at home I still sit around with her in the kitchen preparing meal and while she watches clothes when am around. So POSTER DO THE DISHES, PLEASE LET THESE LADIES KNOW THAT NAIJA MEN ARE VERY ROMANTIC AND CARING PEOPLE.

Thanks all for your comments.

@tpia the woman 'talk', has to do with nagging.
@outstrip I don't use all my time in playing game, remember i said after study or when am troubled.
@flemmmy I give her attention.

I think it has to do with her friends, because this started when they came last weekend and I was busy playing my game waiting to watch live premier league game, and they were in the dinning gisting, after they left she came back after seeing them off not smiling or bright has she left, I even gave them transport money, but was so surprised by her action. Anyway am happy with your comments and am still talking it out with her, am sure I’ll get her understands. She knows I love the game even before we marry am so sure her friends talk that 'kid stuff' into her.

My woman is angry with me (… don’t talk to me for four days now and just drop my meal on the dinner and will not come to join me as usual) because I love PS2 soccer games. She love watching Discovery, ID, Science and Forensic Stations, while I love Soccer Stations, CNN, BBC, and the likes, to avoid the fight I purchased dual view Metro Digital. Most times when I am troubled at heart or when she starts this woman ‘talk’ I’ll turn to my PS2 instead of leaving the house and hang out with my guys which am trying to stop because of all the stuffs that happen when guys are always out like that but this will anger her. Her reason is that the game is for kids. My NL people is this my passion a wrong one? I give her my attention always, I only play when am downhearted or at night when am tired studying or when i don't want to hangout. I even told her that the advert for this PS2 is by adult not kids.

So my people is this my passion wrong or how do I please her without dropping my PS2?

NB: Before we marry I thought her how to play and we use to play this game together while we were dating, I don't really know what is wrong.

Ladies and Gentlemen,
For those of us who would want to take a challenge in Crisis Management!

Can your partner be with your phone for a day and things remain the same?

One Friday morning, John woke up hurriedly and prepared for work. He worked in a busy institution and was expected early at work. His wife worked a distance from where her husband’s office was.
As a result of doing things in a hurry, John unknowingly, carried his wife's mobile phone leaving behind his own. After he had gone his wife Jane noticed the mix-up but it was too late for her to do anything about it. She thought for a while and decided to carry her husband's phone in case he came back for it.
On arriving at his place of work John noticed that he had confused his wife's phone for his but decided not to go back for it. He sighed deeply because he knew his wife could access romantic messages sent by his many mistresses.
His wife too was disgusted because she had several toy boys.
Drama began to unfold when John received an SMS intended for his wife sent by somebody saved as ‘Peter-Taxi’, which read, "Hi sweetie, ope yo monin’ is fine, 4 me am okay just mad! My love 4 you kills me. I couldn't stop dreaming about you even after we met last evening coz you hold the password to ma heart." John was shocked to see this and thought he understood why his wife had come home late the previous evening. He decided to stay mum to see what more would come.
After one hour he received another SMS from somebody saved as ‘Susan-Salon’ which read, “Monin darling, ope ur fine, am also fine but not so fine without seeing you next to me coz you control every part of ma heart. Nice day sweetie, see you at lunch.”
The third SMS ticked in from somebody saved as ‘Winnie-Handbags’ which read, "Monin ma beautiful queen, I wish you were a gum, I would chew you every time, you make me feel young like I was born yesterday, you without whom I would go on a hunger strike. Have a bright day ma dear."
John was deeply shocked by these messages but knew that on the other side his wife might be seeing drama too.
Meanwhile, Jane had seen even more than her husband. She had received three messages from three women that clearly showed they were his mistresses. The first SMS was from a woman saved as ‘Ochieng-Car wash’ which read, “Hi deah how's ur monin? 4 me am okay with ur son here, he says he loves you so much n you should come n stay with us. gday."
Jane almost fainted on seeing this because she could not believe that her husband had a son outside marriage.
Before her anger was over, she received a second SMS from' ‘Omosh-Kinyozi’ which read, “Monin ma deah, ope ur enjoyin ur day. Mine can't be complete without you. Every time I sleep in this house you bought 4 me I dream 2 love u always. The BM u bought me is perfect on road. Thanks, g’day.”
The last message came from ‘Karanja-Electician’ and read, “Sasa honey? Ope uko poa, mimi niko fiti hapa campo, lakini nikumiss sana . But honey kuna doh tunadaiwa za project 40k, nita come unishow vile tutalipa. Nice day love you big.”
Jane had found the answer to why her husband was always penniless!
When evening came John and Jane met at home. They could hardly talk but only stared at one another with suspicion.
Then they called you to intervene, sincerely how could I solve that?

Pls help sort these guys out!

Ladies and Gentlemen,
For those of us who would want to take a challenge in Crisis Management!

Can your partner be with your phone for a day and things remain the same?

One Friday morning, John woke up hurriedly and prepared for work. He worked in a busy institution and was expected early at work. His wife worked a distance from where her husband’s office was.
As a result of doing things in a hurry, John unknowingly, carried his wife's mobile phone leaving behind his own. After he had gone his wife Jane noticed the mix-up but it was too late for her to do anything about it. She thought for a while and decided to carry her husband's phone in case he came back for it.
On arriving at his place of work John noticed that he had confused his wife's phone for his but decided not to go back for it. He sighed deeply because he knew his wife could access romantic messages sent by his many mistresses.
His wife too was disgusted because she had several toy boys.
Drama began to unfold when John received an SMS intended for his wife sent by somebody saved as ‘Peter-Taxi’, which read, "Hi sweetie, ope yo monin’ is fine, 4 me am okay just mad! My love 4 you kills me. I couldn't stop dreaming about you even after we met last evening coz you hold the password to ma heart." John was shocked to see this and thought he understood why his wife had come home late the previous evening. He decided to stay mum to see what more would come.
After one hour he received another SMS from somebody saved as ‘Susan-Salon’ which read, “Monin darling, ope ur fine, am also fine but not so fine without seeing you next to me coz you control every part of ma heart. Nice day sweetie, see you at lunch.”
The third SMS ticked in from somebody saved as ‘Winnie-Handbags’ which read, "Monin ma beautiful queen, I wish you were a gum, I would chew you every time, you make me feel young like I was born yesterday, you without whom I would go on a hunger strike. Have a bright day ma dear."
John was deeply shocked by these messages but knew that on the other side his wife might be seeing drama too.
Meanwhile, Jane had seen even more than her husband. She had received three messages from three women that clearly showed they were his mistresses. The first SMS was from a woman saved as ‘Ochieng-Car wash’ which read, “Hi deah how's ur monin? 4 me am okay with ur son here, he says he loves you so much n you should come n stay with us. gday."
Jane almost fainted on seeing this because she could not believe that her husband had a son outside marriage.
Before her anger was over, she received a second SMS from' ‘Omosh-Kinyozi’ which read, “Monin ma deah, ope ur enjoyin ur day. Mine can't be complete without you. Every time I sleep in this house you bought 4 me I dream 2 love u always. The BM u bought me is perfect on road. Thanks, g’day.”
The last message came from ‘Karanja-Electician’ and read, “Sasa honey? Ope uko poa, mimi niko fiti hapa campo, lakini nikumiss sana . But honey kuna doh tunadaiwa za project 40k, nita come unishow vile tutalipa. Nice day love you big.”
Jane had found the answer to why her husband was always penniless!
When evening came John and Jane met at home. They could hardly talk but only stared at one another with suspicion.
Then they called you to intervene, sincerely how could I solve that?

Pls help sort these guys out!

HIS ALBUM SOLD 150 MILLION COPIES AND WE ARE STILL COUNTING.
HE HAS RELEASED A BRAND NEW ALBUM PROUDLY CALLED RICH COUNTRY, POOR CITIZENS.

THE ALBUM HAS 7 TRACKS . THE HIT TRACK IS CALLED CORRUPTION, U CHOP, I CHOP.
THIS TRACK HAS RECEIVED A LARGE AIRTIME ON RADIO STATIONS AND FANS HAVE NOMINATED IT FOR THE GRAMMYS.
OTHER HIT TRACKS INCLUDE:
1. ELECTRICITY PALAVER FEAT. PHCN

2. NIGER DELTA FEAT. THE ANGELIC VOICES OF THE MILITANTS

3. ELECTION RIGGING _ A DUET PERFORMED WITH MAURICE IWU

ASUU STRIKE FEAT. SAM EGWU

4. SLOW PASSAGE OF BILL - A COLLABO BY DAVID MARK AND DIMEJI BANKOLE

OMO REBRANDING - DORA AKUNYILI FT. PDP & THE CORRUPTION CREW



AND NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, MAY I INTRODUCE THE AWARD WINNING STAR FOR THE 2009 NIGERIA GRAMMY AWARD













SCROLL DOWN















ROUND OF APPLAUSE PLEASE AS HE COMES ON STAGE.











I present to you the star of the moment,





















































































YAR'ADUA AND THE PDP CORRUPTION CREW

naija will never stop amazing me,

A jealous lover, Solomon Cyril Effion, has stabbed a man to death in Cross River State on the suspicion that the victim was dating his girlfriend.
The victim, simply identified as Ernest, however, turned out to be a commercial motorcyclist taking the lady, Eno Victor, to her destination on the fateful day.

To worsen the matter, Solomon’s dastardly act sparked a reprisal attack, which consumed the life of another innocent man, Effiok, described as the jealous lover’s close friend.
Now cooling his heels in custody at the homicide unit of the Cross River State Police Headquarters, Diamond Hill, Calabar, the suspect said he did no wrong insisting “I caught him red-handed, carrying my girlfriend on a motorcycle.”

Solomon stressed: “I was the first person to ask the girl for her love and she fell. Since then, I have been giving her money, buying clothes and other things for her, but I have never had sex with her even for one day.”

Daily Sun gathered that Solomon hailed from Anigeje, while the late Ernest, was a resident of 49 Miles. Both communities are in Akamkpa Local Government Area of the state.
Trouble started for Ernest when Solomon sighted him riding on a motorcycle with Eno and he suspected an attempt to snatch his lover.
Ernest was taking Eno from 49 Miles to Anigeje, where Solomon lived when the jealous lover sighted the duo.

His suspicion was fuelled by information, which he claimed to have got from authentic sources previously that the girl was “romancing with another man at 49 Miles.”

“When I heard the information, I decided to keep quiet, wait and see if the story was true. So, I saw the boy carrying her on his motorcycle, coming to prove to me that he has snatched the girl from me,” Solomon said.
Sighting Eno as the motorcycle got near his home, Solomon at first thought, “she was coming to see me.” He also thought “the boy was just a cyclist, coming to drop her, so I was surprised when they came and drove past without stopping to see me, so I decided to pursue them.”
The jealous lover eventually caught up with Eno and the motorcyclist and in the ensuing fight, he stabbed the suspected rival to death.

Stating her own version of the story at the state police headquarters, Eno described Solomon as unnecessarily jealous, claiming she had no amorous relationship with the deceased, who, she said, was only a commercial motorcycle rider.

“Solomon has been giving me money, asking me for friendship, but I told him to wait and let me think over it. He continued giving me money. So, when he saw us coming, he started pursuing us until he stopped the motorcycle.”

“As the motorcycle stopped, he started beating me, telling me that I must go to his house and sleep with him before going to where I was going. He said that I must go and sleep with him or give him N2,000 before he will allow me to go.”

“I told him that he cannot ask me to go and sleep with him like a prostitute”, and unfortunately “I had no money there to give him, so he started beating me, kicking me with his legs.”
According to Eno, Ernest the motorcyclist attempted to stop Solomon from further manhandling her, and the suspect suddenly became enraged threatening to teach the man a lession.
As the two men began to fight Solomon dashed to his house and came back to the scene, with a machete hidden under his shirt.

Solomon reportedly brought out the machete before the onlookers could restrain him, he had dealt the motorcycle rider a fatal blow.
The incident soon snowballed into a communal crisis when youths from 49 Miles stormed Anigeje community and killed Effiok, a close friend of Solomon, in a reprisal attack.

Mr. Etim Dickson, the Police Public Relations Officer of Cross River State Police Command who confirmed the report said both Solomon and Eno, had a case to answer, and the two have been detained.
The PPRO said the suspect would be charged to court after the preliminary investigation into the matter had been concluded.

@poster.
LOOK FOR AWAY TO BUILD YOUR MARRIAGE AND RESOLVE THE PROBLEM YOU HAVE WITH YOUR HUSBAND. THE IDEA OF HEATING BACK AT HIM WILL OR MAY EVEN CAUSE YOU THAT MARRIAGE, BECAUSE YOU ARE POURING FUEL MORE INTO THE FIRE.

@Blessed.
Keeping people waiting and encouraging others to follow your footstep is VERY WRONG. It does not show respect and honor to the dignitries you inviated and even to your husband.

@post
my though was, WHAT NEXT AFTER THIS, God let this last and am sure the prayer is answered.

I don't really think the story is fabricated. Maybe you can frown at him just dashing out 20k, that part has a question mark.

For me I think the poster want ladies to learn not to snub a guy maybe because at that moment he doesn't meet your taste. This life is all about CHANGE.

My own experience in 2002 a girl I used to admire in my neighborhood just graduated from university and fortunately she secured a job with the then Society General Bank (SGB). One Sunday evening I met her with her friends and she look very attractive. I summed up courage and went to her after greeting them I said to her directly, ‘YOU LOOK VERY ATTRACTIVE AND ADORABLE TODAY’; my brother the girl looked at me and said ‘WHICH DEY WEY THIS ONE START’, they boosted into laughter and the shame was much I didn’t go to were I intended to go again. The girls knew me. One of them later came to me and apologized. Later I got a job with an oil servicing company and equally became the latest big boy in the neighborhood; she first came as marketing I declined. Unfortunately the bank collapsed she became jobless and started looking for job that was when she start sending me text messages begging that I forgive her and help her that things are not easy with her, we should be friends, well to cut the story short I assisted her and dated her but I cannot marry her because she is the type that believes in ‘for better for stay’. Even though she has gotten another job still with a bank and want us to be more serious I can not. SO GIRLS LEARN CHANGE IS CONSTANCE, BE WISE YOU MAY MISS YOUR RIGHT MAN.

@ The fact that this guy gave you a lift and exchanged numbers with you does not mean he will "hit" on you!

What has happened for a guy to being "nice and kind" in Nigerian ladies dictionary

I rest my case and siddon look

GOOD TALK.


Girls in Nigeria are too negative in their reasoning, just an exchange of number you have run to a conclusion. wait and see 4 u conclude.

@A few of our family friends are men & women I met at work over the years and my husband has a few female friends he still is in contact with from uni.
We dont see them as his friends or my friends. They are family friends Ok most of them are married, however a friend is a friend & if there is trust then it shouldnt matter what sex the friend is.

This is correct.


@POSTER, Friends are part of our life, there are some friends (male or female) that know us more than our spouse, has been there and assisted us in life so much so that we cannot do a way with them. I have some like that, am sure that is what the man is experiencing, he may understand his wife's fear but she just need an assurance that her husband is hers alone. She should not allow suspicion to drive her to start calling things name when there are actually not true. Make that woman her friend and understand why her husband is close to her that will help.

@robby no wahala sha.

@debest1 English no b my mama language. Beside when you write without editing you'll be prone to make silly mistakes. So those of you wey get A1 in English, remember some people make mistakes and just read the post and don't be judging ones English.

this issue of pants for girls and boys is very important oh. let me narrate two expericenses i have. myself am learning to wear pants now because it has cause be an embarrassment or make me shy recently.

i was on duty well dress not those days i will wear jeans and may not tug in. my NL i saw or met this girl and she was my God very attractive and i was on break i just need to reach my bank to resolve some ATM wahala, i was at the back seat when she came, i just prayed she sit with me and behold she came right to my side and excused me to enter i quickly allowed her in. i was listening to music with my phone and she got to hear the music i was listening, she now pleaded i should forward it to her phone. my brother as am talking my dick was already hard while her flesh touches mind in the back seat. i brought out my phone from my front pocket as i was trying to forward the music her phone fell from her hand and landed on my laps, behold while she bend to pick it, whoa! my dick was hard and showing, she looked at me and said 'sorry' while she picked it, her hand touches my 'shaft', it was such an embarrassment cause the other passenger by my left saw what happened and laughed, she equally smiled. when i came down from the taxi i had to bend and put my hand in my pocket while i was chatting her up, anyway we became friends although not the type you may have in mind.

for the ladies pants is very important, because even if you don't want to date somebody but you float your backside without a pant then you are sending wrong signal. The office i was doing my NYSC, there was this young lady that always wear very short skirts to work. one Saturday we happen to be alone in the office and she was seating carelessly opposite me and behold i saw the sweet pot facing me. so i ask her Peace, 'why you like to wear very short skirts'? she said 'you no like am?' i said well its nice what off pants, that's when she realize that something was wrong she said 'you don look, abi?' i smiled. before we left office that day i was so Hot and i kept teasing her and you know some (girls) are not hard, we were doing it right there in the office and it becomes a routine till i left them every weekend. she later told me she like going without pants on weekends when people will not be much in the office because she like air touching her pussy.

so pants for the guys and girls its important.

@Anyway franky speaking. Sometimes i dont wear panties(thongs) esp wen i got on very tight skirt, or i was in a rush dressing that morning. or i just wantto feel some air. Or maybe i just want to get something down the road, i put on free gown with no bra or knickers.

It dont make me dirty or lazy, do it?

It makes you sexy.