Religion / Why Do Nigerians Become Less Religious When They Travel Abroad? by uche87(m): 10:23am On Jun 22 |
One day, I decided to ask a friend abroad some pertinent questions. I said: “When last did you pray for journey mercies while travelling by rail? When last did you pray against power cuts? When last did you bind and cast the spirit of poverty? What about the prayers against your ‘village people’? I concluded and waited for a response. He struggled to give me a definite answer. He finally gave up with a smile. Over time, I have concluded that most of us did things in Africa without any strong personal convictions about our actions. We are mere products of social conformity, groupthink and bandwagon effect.
Actions and inactions were regularly driven by the mentality of ‘Oh since people are doing it, then it should be right’. The challenge with this stance is that when the individual is taken out of the circle, they switch their colours to that of the new environment. This is what a chameleon does.
In my view, this is the major driving factor why Nigerians become less religious as soon as they leave the shores of Nigeria. In Nigeria, the efficacy of prayers (which is good) has been overemphasised. This has been done to the point that people even pray to occupy positions they are not academically qualified for. Someone might fail to prepare for a school examination and expect a miracle to happen. God frowns at magic and cheating.
For years, religious organisations have constantly raised prayer points for the advancement of Nigeria. But the country has been on a steady pattern of constant retrogression. This is what is easily obtainable when prayers go without work. Most Nigerians have grown to erroneously believe the key to personal and societal development is prayer and spiritual warfare. By the time they leave the shores of Nigeria and see their imagination of perfection in an advanced but starkly irreligious society, they let go of their core beliefs gradually and unconsciously. In psychology, it’s called Cognitive Restructuring. In the UK for example, I have seen former Nigerian pastors who pick extra shifts on Sundays due to the extra pay attached to it. Suddenly, the very religious ones no longer attend weekly church services. Evangelism is no longer on their To-Do list. The best they come up with is to repost or share religious messages on WhatsApp or other religious platforms. These people don’t pay tithes or give first fruits anymore. The growth of their finances, despite becoming less religious, has collapsed their belief system. They now believe somebody must have lied to them. In terms of physical appearance, they are now open to funky hairstyles, earrings, and tattoos. Also, the so-called ‘worldly’ fashion sense has been attractive to them. A couple of them have changed their taste of music, stance on alcohol, smoking and the most controversial one - homosexuality.
The bottom line here is that whenever you find yourself in a working society, your prayer points will reduce. You tend to see life differently in a more realistic way. However, the level of societal advancement in the West is not an indictment on religion, spirituality or the existence of God. It only means we need formidable institutional structures in Africa. When viable structures, we can back up the process of growth and development with spirituality.
Prayers work and spiritual forces exist. This is known to the West knows but they will rather not build their lives around it. They only use these diabolical stories to sell books and movies. They tag them as ‘fiction’. Osahon George Osayimwen is a UK-based journalist. 79 Likes 16 Shares
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Romance / Re: Dating In Nigeria Vs The UK: The Harsh Reality Explained by uche87(m): 8:13am On Jun 14 |
Nairalander248:
See the year you quoted ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) Nor mind am oh. 1991! Mostly every 5 years, behavioural patterns and trends change not to talk of over 20 years. 6 Likes |
Romance / Dating In Nigeria Vs The UK: The Harsh Reality Explained by uche87(m): 9:35pm On Jun 13 |
Naija Dating:
Dating in Nigeria is pretty much straightforward. If you are having any serious issues dating in Nigeria, your pocket might easily be the root cause of your challenge. Nigerian women will always give you a leeway/soft-landing if you have the financial strength. For example, most women don't find short men desirable, but as long as his bank account makes sense, he is seen as tall. If the woman sees the mere flashes of money in any form, you stand a good chance of being her man. I also understand that a small percentage of Nigerian women might be an aberration to the norm.
On the contrary, the majority of them are the same. Get a good apartment, nice clothes, look clean/good, acquire a nice car, switch up your interpersonal skills, buy a trending mobile phone brand and watch wonders happen. A senior nurse I know in the UK reportedly nailed several Nigerian ladies to the cross courtesy of his exotic Mercedes Benz car. These women erroneously believed he was rich not knowing he acquired the ride via a gradual payment plan known as 'car finance'.
In Nigeria, every man is like a superstar as long as you have a few coins to spare. The dating market is also oversaturated. It is crowded with males of different ages. Youths, bachelors, married men, grannies and all sorts of people are players and the woman is the prize. The men keep dangling different sizes of carrots to attract the women even when she is married. Some women are freelancers offering pleasure services to various establishments. This is why paternity fraud is prevalent in Nigeria.
UK dating:
The UK dating pool is more complicated than the current minimum wage debate in Nigeria. Although money plays a role in this terrain, the kind of money you need to make an impression is huge. You need the funds of a first-class/global entrepreneur or that of an established sportsman like the EPL footballers or Anthony Joshua, to have a massive impact. A Hushpuppi-like figure might also pull the strings. This is because most of the women are very comfortable to a large extent. They are not at the mercy of a physically -staggering leader like Tinubu.
Petty demands like a new phone, car gift, clothes, house rent payment, food, pocket money and others are against the run of play. Such demands are mostly peculiar to ladies who are newly from Africa, the headquarters of 'billing'. If a woman is attracted to you, and admires your profile or oratory skills, she might offer you the forbidden fruit like the biblical snake. The major limitation here is the skin colour and other ethnic considerations. People from other cultural backgrounds hardly mix. They only relate with one another on a professional level at work. There is a significant problem of distrust amongst people over here. While the wealthy men gallivant around in Nigeria, the ones in the UK live in fear of being taken advantage of by a hustling woman. One allegation of sexual abuse could make your seeming opulence evaporate.
The advantage here is that sex could be cheaply offered due to the pressure of the cold weather and loneliness. You might do anything with the body but never own the heart. Osahon George Osayimwen is a UK-based Nigerian journalist 56 Likes 7 Shares
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Romance / Finding Love In The UK Is Hard, But There's A Secret by uche87(m): 4:35pm On Jun 09 |
If there is any society that is designed to make you feel lonely and at the same time keep you single, it is the United Kingdom. Even if you come in married, you might lose your spouse if care isn’t taken. Over 100,000 marriages crash in a year in the UK, about 44% of marriages will always crash annually. The cost of living also puts so much pressure on you that your workplace might become your salvation. Every other thing takes a secondary position except for very religious people. Mind you, Nigerians mostly become less religious once they cross international borders.
It is not strange for people to get involved in office/workplace romance in the UK since this is where people spend most of their time. But this route could be a very disastrous one. Gist spreads easily in work environments. No lady wants to be the talk of any organisation simply because she spread her legs for a big-mouthed man. Financial demands from people back home could drive anybody insane. It prompts you to pick extra shifts to meet different endless requests. For every extra shift you pick, you have robbed yourself of good moments or any chance of recuperation over the next 12 hours. The implication of being too busy is that it denies you any full commitment to a serious relationship. You might end up seeking the opposite sex’s attention only when you are Hot. In the UK, there is an abundance of men who desperately want to fill that sexual void. Marriage is never on the table for them, but when it comes to the ‘mid-section’ contests, they are always on top like Manchester City.
So how can the challenge of being single be resolved? The approach below might be of help:
The State of Emergency Approach
If you are a single lady in your 30s in the UK, you must first declare a state of emergency (SOE) in your love life. The security level needs to be raised to the highest point. This entails treating any adult male close to you with utmost priority except if the person is a blood relation. It should be noted that without humility, the SOE can’t get the desired results. That smiling neighbour approaching you to discuss boring issues needs the brightest green light to encourage him to speak up with his full chest. That course-mate assisting with your assignments needs to be ‘grilled’ like a corrupt politician to know his deep desires. I know this is a bit dicey and against my principles, but that colleague sharing food with you at work needs to be handed a starting shirt like Kobbie Mainoo of Manchester United. That shy prayer warrior in church, hovering around you like a drone, needs to be asked if he could ‘pray harder’ behind closed doors. Those random Direct Messages you get after commenting on microblogs on Instagram, Facebook and X need urgent attention. When you meet classy people, jokingly tell them you are single and would like to meet their single friends. Like-minds attract each other.
In a nutshell, every available avenue needs to be explored. People might call it desperation but the end will justify the means. Stop waiting for those in high-end occupation lists like medicine, nursing, tech, engineering, law, accounting and the like to come for you. Wishful thinking and pride amongst Nigerians in the UK have created a large pool of singles who believe they don’t need each other.
Being single in the UK is tantamount to being stranded at sea. Also, the market is wired against immigrants. The Oyinbos will hardly give you a chance because of ethnic considerations. The majority of Nigerians also come in married (both fake, partially original and truly original). The singles market is so microscopic. Most of the partners some people settle for are either stolen or ‘fairly used’ like clothes from charity shops. When the chances of success are low, an all-inclusive approach becomes ideal. Osahon George Osayimwen is a UK-based Nigerian journalist 64 Likes 11 Shares
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Family / Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by uche87(m): 5:24pm On Apr 15 |
Going by the market trends, marriage/relationship advisers and others profiting from related fields might be going out of business in the coming years. If you are making money from that industry, your days might be numbered, and this is not a threat. This is because people’s disposition towards marriage is changing globally. The United States for example has witnessed a 60% drop in the rate of marriage since the 1970s according to a CNBC report. The numbers also remain disturbing in China, Japan, the United Kingdom and other notable countries across the world. The data from Africa is not reliable, but the continent might be sticking to its guns for cultural and religious reasons, I suppose. At a certain age, a young adult is coerced to get married by his/her parents or the community. The pressure might be subtle and low, but it is sustained.
Marriage appears to be losing its essence gradually. A recent research organised in the United States by Yale Sociologist - Hannah Tessler and colleagues, showed single women were not open to long-term and committed romantic relationships anymore. Only men were interested but sadly, the research did not reveal the motivating factor behind the interest of the male participants. Sexual factors and nothing futuristic or concrete might have driven it.
The fate of marriage’s essence is multi-factorial and it would take another long article to explain it. But basically, marriage is capital-intensive to manage and so emotionally demanding. Additionally, feminism and formal education are the bane of marriage as an institution, but we are not ready for this conversation. Marriage which is seemingly supposed to be peaceful has now become a battleground. It is like a court of law where lawyers argue to determine who is right or wrong. The UK experience appears worse. I know there is a bit of coverage about the weaknesses of Nigerian marriages in the UK, but there are several more people not speaking up out of respect for their marriage, spouses, hope for improvement, stigma/shame, and privacy concerns.
In the past, you needed patience to make your marriage work, today patience is not enough anymore. What is required is now long-suffering. Some men have recommended intentionally playing the fool while allowing your wife to have her way. It is not an easy task to be the ‘happy fool’. Societal factors in the UK are affecting African marriages. The environment gives women so much power, both financially, in litigation and expression. The thing about power is that it gets easily abused even when the user has good intentions. In no time, one party becomes the oppressor and the other - a victim.
I have spoken with some married men over here and the story seems the same. They are not enjoying their marriage, but they are only enduring it. The bitter truth men have to understand is that you can hardly do enough, and most times you might never get credit for what you do. This doesn’t mean you married the wrong woman. She also often feels she is doing too much, especially juggling between managing the kids and her job. There might be a self-entitlement in there too.
Controversial social media influencer, Andrew Tate, is milking the existing excesses of marital life to propagate perceived misogynistic views. He is promoting what is termed toxic masculinity on social media. He has demystified marriage and his views appear to be spreading faster than the coronavirus virus in early 2020. Most abroad-based men now see marriage as a bondage. They want to nick some benefits off it, but not venture into it. The plan is to derive pleasure from a romantic relationship with a woman, have a child if possible, and maintain access to different creatures in skirts.
The UK boasts of many single women who are remarkably beautiful. Most of them are not as lonely as the public perception paints it. They have active sexual partners but the irony is that these men would never entertain the marriage conversation. Even if the woman stands on her head and exhibits the ‘helicopter Style’, the marriage topic remains banned and forbidden. With celebrities with massive social media influence avoiding the marriage conversation, while others are rushing out of it like a burning building, marriage might become obsolete in the next couple of decades. Considering the current dynamics, there is too much pain for men than real gains. Osahon George Osayimwen writes from England. 48 Likes 7 Shares
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Travel / UK People Are Miserable, Nigerians Are 'happy' by uche87(m): 9:50am On Apr 04 |
Despite the economic downturn in Nigeria and the supposed progressive nature of the United Kingdom, the latter is ranked the 2nd most miserable country in the world according to the 2024 Global Mind Project. The country only scored one point below Uzbekistan. For your information, Uzbekistan is a country in central Asia battling with intense threats of terrorism, violent crimes, and civil unrest.
Nigeria on the other hand was ranked 83. This beggars belief because the UK is a top relocation destination for Nigerians. What is Nigeria doing differently? The Nigerian economy is as unstable as a pregnant woman's mood, unemployment is still a major issue. The minimum wage for workers is abysmally below $40 monthly, there is a high cost of living, infrastructural facilities are largely strained and unavailable, and insecurity still reigns supreme, amid other myriad of issues attributable to developing countries.
In the face of the aforementioned stumbling blocks, Nigerians create their happiness. Several factors play a role in the way Nigerians are wired. Religion is quite pivotal. It offers people hope and finds an explanation for the challenges they are facing. Apart from this, the mentality is different. The average Nigerian child is raised like a soldier on the war front where there might be power cuts, inadequate water supply, life-threatening accidents, bad roads, hostile environment, limited economic progress, brazen corruption, and scarcity of essential resources. This gives a warped view of life and thoughtlessly helps us develop thick skins. A former Nigerian bank manager I met in the UK puts this succinctly. He said: "In Nigeria, some of us were traumatized and abused unknowingly from childhood. We grew up to perceive this as a way of life".
To a large extent, the people in the UK appear to have everything. It is a developed country where you can come in as a slave in a boat and leave the country as a legitimate owner of a bigger boat. The UK like every other country has its unique challenges. You have to live here to know. But where the UK ranks on the development chart is like heaven to an average Nigerian. It is their mental image of perfection. The irony here is that the Brits are still largely unhappy.
Can we say Nigerians are genuinely happy? The answer is NO. We only look above our present challenges and practice mindfulness. At the end of the day, happiness is a choice. True happiness is achieved when we learn to appreciate simple things in life. Being healthy is a blessing, and having a nice meal is too. Being alive should be appreciated, the same thing with having a roof over your head or even having a family or friend to relate with. Attaching your happiness to material things especially money is a recipe for disaster. The truth is that the people we admire in the Global North are broke. Take away their credit facilities and social intervention programs for a month and they will be worse than those in the poorest African countries.
I recently bagged an Advanced Diploma in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), in addition to my master's degree in Psychology, and I have realized that Nigerians have been unthinkingly following the principles of therapy to stay strong. Mindfulness, verbal support, and distraction techniques have been deployed graciously by Nigerians in informal and unstructured manners. All these have been very effective. The Big Brother Naija reality show, football, comedy skits, afrobeat music, social media, and social gatherings keep people going and help break the negative thoughts and feelings cycle. If you are sad for a long time, you might become mentally ill. I have seen people in the UK get admitted into inpatient psychiatric hospitals following the abrupt end of romantic relationships. The story is different in Nigeria; such people go on social media to mock themselves. In the local parlance, they be like: "Omo, I just chop breakfast oh, but we move" The superstar singer, Burna Boy, emphasized this in his songs by saying: "Last last, everybody go chop breakfast"
As the Central Bank of Nigeria battled to save the Naira in March, the Nigerian youths were locked in social media dramas. There were many bitter altercations among celebrities. Bobrisky - a male crossdresser ridiculously won the award of the Best Dressed Female in Nigeria (Caitlyn Jenner model), the controversial social media commentator, Very Dark Man was arrested by the police. Social media engagements from these events were more entertaining than Netflix. It wasn't just about the news or the woes of the concerned individuals, it was more of people's reactions to them. The juice is always in the comment sections. This is why Nigeria is called a "cruise nation"
Even Nigerians who have 'escaped' abroad still want to reconnect with the social media trends back home to energize themselves. This is like their positive energy source. Osahon George Osayimwen writes from England. 48 Likes 6 Shares
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Politics / Should The Nigerian Govt Regulate The Social Media Space? by uche87(m): 10:25am On Feb 13 |
The conversation about regulating social media in Nigeria has refused to go away for some years now. It has been raised again by the Chief of Staff to the President, Femi Gbajabiamila, and has been supported by other public figures. What makes the idea of social media regulation very intriguing is that it is being raised by politicians. It makes the issue very questionable and highly insidious because Nigerian politicians have sworn never to act in the public interest. This is as alarming as an armed robber complaining about the security architecture in Nigeria. I will be analyzing the issue in sub-sections to make the piece an easy read.
The transition of the Nigerian social media space
I have watched the transition of the Nigerian social media space as an active participant over the years. It used to be like dating networks. The real essence never made sense to a host of Nigerians. Later it became an avenue to connect with old friends who were scattered across the world. Some people would later turn it into a comparative tool for classism i.e. 'I better pass you'. Others used it to monitor the progress of people, especially the ones abroad. Businesses and music artistes soon started taking advantage of the increasing population of netizens. The politicians also came in for 'political business' in the process. Social media soon became a battleground among opposing political groups for who are the saints, sinners, and saviours of the hapless masses. It became a viable field for image-laundering for public figures and the profiles of politicians running for offices were highly exaggerated. Sponsored lies and gross misinformation were also orchestrated by political opponents against themselves. This was how the defilement of social media gradually started. Incrementally, these political rivalries on social media raised the political consciousness of Nigerians. They developed an interest in politics, started following political developments, and jumped on trends.
How the problem started
Today, the Nigerian social media space remains more polarised than ever. If you ever want to experience the heterogeneous structure of Nigeria, wait until the election period and you will be shocked about how people are divided across political, religious, tribal, geographical, economic, and even educational lines. After that, do a comparative study between the electioneering campaign period and the mood during the recently concluded AFCON 2024 where Nigeria united and stood behind the Super Eagles.
As political actors plot their campaign strategies, they factor in the control of mostly Twitter in their political plots. Almost all mainstream politicians have social media influencers/operators under their payroll. These individuals are tasked with spreading desirable narratives including falsehoods. In my view, the downside of social media is a monster created by the same people calling for the regulation of the system.
Enters the legendary Lai Mohammed
The Nigerian social media space was significantly polluted in the heat of the 2015 general elections by the then National Publicity Secretary of the ruling APC - Lai Mohammed. He hounded his party's political antagonists with humongous lies that left the devil shell-shocked. His winning strategy of disinformation was the needed catalyst for other questionable individuals in Nigeria highly skilled in spreading lies. The nodus of fake news went out of hand that the pioneer, Lai Mohammed became baffled at some point. He later advocated for the regulation of social media using his capacity as the Minister of Information. It is not advisable to trust the intentions of Nigerian politicians. Their original plan is to muzzle the social media space. They are fully aware of the dire economic situation of Nigerians. Their concern is that they wish Nigerians could suffer in silence and allow them to plunder public resources in peace. They don't want to be accountable for their actions. Politicians by nature have no definite stand in life on any public discourse. Today, they are the defenders and tomorrow they play the aggressors. They keep swinging both ways like bisexuals!
Social media is already self-regulatory
Do we have issues with social media in Nigeria? Yes! Do we need regulation? No! The social media space is already self-regulatory. The best way to fact-check any news report is to check the comment section of the news article. If you have a critical and discerning mind, you will see that comment that will either enlighten you or increase your doubts about its validity and reliability. In case the report matters to you, go further by searching for it on other mainstream media platforms. Social media platforms also flag fake content, reduce their visibility, block certain keywords, and sanction fake news peddlers. Furthermore, the laws of libel and slander in Nigeria already cover social media activities. Now and then, lawsuits are seen flying around against people accused of defamation. The Nigerian police also have a structure to combat fake news. The Nigerian politicians don't have genuine intentions as I have overemphasized. Fake news to them is that scathing news report that doesn't favour them. Social media regulation is the resemblance of a legal way of suppressing dissenting voices. It is the Chinese and Malaysian blueprint of social media censorship. You can't solve a problem that you are a party to.
Osahon George Osayimwen writes from England. 11 Likes 1 Share
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Romance / Who Will Marry The Beautiful Nigerian Women In The UK? by uche87(m): 1:18pm On Feb 04 |
As Nigerians pass through the UK, the UK is also passing through Nigerians. Dogmatic people are gradually becoming liberals either consciously or unconsciously. People's perceptions on religion, homosexuality, sex, marriage and other issues are gradually changing. As a social scientist, who is vested in human behaviours, I have observed the changing patterns of the perspectives of Nigerians in the United Kingdom concerning marriage. Recall that the number of married people in England and Wales as at 2021 was 46.9%, dropping from 49.4% in 2011 according to the Office of National Statistics, ONS. Despite the economic hardship in Nigeria, it's 66.2% in 2023 according to the CIA.gov. But in the UK, the anticipated weekends of social gatherings which includes wedding ceremonies as we have in Nigeria, are being replaced with constant 'work shifts.' It appears nothing is happening on weekends abroad unlike in the home-country, Nigeria.
Can we say the idea of marriage is becoming obsolete? The answer is neither here nor there. The African perspective of marriage is cultural, procedural and religious. There is a popular belief that a man's success is not complete if he is unmarried or without kids. He is likened to a snake that crawls on the rock and makes no mark. As for the single woman, she is likened to a queen without a crown. She is like a beautiful asset without an owner. These are highly sexist views anyway and not necessarily true. Then again, religion frowns at premarital sex and promiscuity amongst women could be vehemently condemned in Nigeria. Many would say the purity of a female has a link with the number of men she lays with in bed. 'Body Count' is a deal breaker in Nigeria. One of the major religions in Nigeria - Christianity abhors premarital sex. Marriage is also seen as a blessing. 'The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and receives favour from the Lord' the Bible says in Proverbs 18 vs 22.
Several women also venture into marriage for economic survival. The man is like the warm jacket that shields the woman from the harsh atmospheric conditions. I am also not oblivious of the fact that some Nigerians genuinely fall in love. In my opinion, the percentage of this category of people is low. So basically, most parties have no deep conviction of the membership of the institution of marriage. It is seen as a box to tick. It appears as that regular next phase in life. The resultant effect is why the men mostly go about cheating a few days after their wedding party. And the women also dread paternity tests more than the marauding bandits.
The UK Problem
The social construct about marriage in Nigeria is not valid in the UK. Sex is not mostly seen as immoral as long as you are 16, doing it safely and getting it by consent. The society is deeply irreligious, so nobody frowns at premarital sex. Instead of marriage, people do 'partnerships' in which they enjoy all the dividends of marriage. This might last for 5 years or almost a decade before they ever think of walking down the aisle with their partners. Unlike Nigeria, nobody stigmatises you because you are a single mother. In most cases, the single mother status attracts societal sympathy and support from the government.
When a party is too keen on marriage like we have in Nigeria, it might be erroneously assumed that the person might be seeking travel documents to remain in the country. Romantic intents are hardly seen as genuine. Just like China, marriage in the UK and other western countries come at a significant financial cost. It requires strategic planning. Some men are just comfortable in their studio apartments with their Mercedes Benz vehicles. They feel they are in full control of their lives, managing their living costs within the barest minimum. They are not ready to incur any more financial burden by renting bigger houses, paying extra power & water bills and also the cost of childcare. Childcare is also time-consuming and time in the West is money. Childcare is widely seen as an unpaid work that only those with futuristic views will enjoy and endure. Importantly, feminism is very strong in the UK. Men have argued that the laws protect the women to the detriment of the men. This issue has a historical undertone which I will not address due to the present length of this article. The women are seen as the recalcitrant customers in the banking system who are always right because they are the sole of the business.
There seems to be an epidemic of lack of submissiveness amongst Nigerian women married in the UK. It is worse amongst married couples who met themselves in the UK. It is as catastrophic as having two expert drivers on the same vehicle steering. The drama could be intense with every man living in fear of being divorced with allegations of physical, emotional and psychological abuse against the estranged wife. Controversial influencer, Andrew Tate in a podcast believes the idea of your ex wife taking over your assets after divorce is a red zone for men. He added that child support as backed by law has also been abused by women. Men are so complicit in this case. Some Nigerian men are not real men, they are more of 'boys'. The want to use the device between their legs graciously without any sense of responsibility. They are just obsessed with sleeping with numerous women, and the UK has got an abundance of them in different shapes or form. It appears their ego is attached to promiscuity.
African men have a patriarchal idea of marriage. The man is painted as the head of the family and the woman is seen as the supporting backbone. If they are going to lose their say in their houses where they shoulder most of the bills, then what is the essence of marriage? For the record, I have nothing against feminism. I am only uncomfortable with the fact that it is one of the most misunderstood and misused concepts on social media. It is interesting how the activists on social media nit-pick when the tenets of their idea of feminism are being defined. A feminist who believes in equality would have her humongous bride-price paid by a man. She might also abandon her feminist stance when it comes to who pays the largest bill within the household. But when it comes to wielding power and taking strategic decisions in the home, feminism stands.
Coming back to the UK, marriage is not attractive to Nigerians anymore. People only keep multiple women for the purpose of exercising their waists when the pressure is intense, and when abject loneliness kicks in.
The UK is blessed with several beautiful, naturally endowed, intellectually endowed, and successful career women from Nigeria who are single, but no man is ready to offer them a 'permanent contract'. Most men just want to play the role of 'mechanical engineers' tasked with the responsibility of servicing the machine to prevent collapse damage in the foreseeable future. Osahon George Osayimwen writes from England 114 Likes 14 Shares
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Romance / JAPA: 8 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Do Long Distance Relationships by uche87(m): 11:13am On Dec 21, 2023 |
Long-distance relationships in my view could be likened to being a night crawler in a place like Nigeria. It predisposes you to security risks. If you don’t get mugged by some miscreants, kidnappers might grab you for Christmas, a ritualist in need of a fresh human head or some unscrupulous police officers might take advantage of you. You also stand a good chance of being lynched in the event of a false accusation by an angry mob. So in light of these potential risks, it is advisable to stay safe and stop the late-night parades.
This article will focus on romantic relationships (not marriages) across international boundaries. Below are some of the reasons why the writer frowns at long-distance relationships:
(1) Infidelity:
Long-distance relationships are prone to infidelity and both parties are guilty. Nowadays, women hate to put their eggs in one basket to widen their options. Also, men want to taste different pots of soup. This mentality is strengthened in a long-distance situation.
(2) Too expensive:
A long-distance relationship is unnecessarily costly. Most times, one party becomes a burden to the other. With the economy of Nigeria haplessly bleeding to death like a Christmas chicken, the party abroad will lose his spinal cord carrying the burden of the other.
(3) It could be chaotic:
Due to trust issues associated with lack of physical access to each other, trust issues develop and anxiety escalates. This inevitably leads to regular relationship squabbles and arguments. Subsequently, the relationship might die off with one party, mostly the males losing out.
(4) Acute sexual hunger (Konji):
A long-distance relationship without the equitable distribution of visas is like frying pieces of chicken/turkey while fasting. It intensifies your hunger. I don’t also believe it is honourable for you to touch yourself lol.
(5) Conflicting realities:
This factor arises when a party is in a first-world country while the other is holed up in a third-world country like Nigeria. Views, perspectives, plans, and projections begin to fail to align. This leads to confusion and frustration till the inevitable - a break-up happens.
(6) Loneliness:
Life abroad is lonely and too busy. It seemingly appears nobody cares about you. People associate with each other on a need-led basis. Most times, the ones who check up on you more are the Nigerians back home which will come at a cost at the end of the month (billing). Bachelors/spinsters tend to feel the heat of loneliness the more. Oftentimes, phone conversations are not effective enough.
(7) Vulnerability:
Sexual starvation known by the street lingo as ‘konji’, makes people vulnerable. The feeling is worse abroad where women wear anything in public places. Even if you have toys, it is still not the real thing. In most cases, partners especially the females get taken advantage of by their so-called ‘besties’. Besties are known to hover around their female prey like a hawk stalking the chicks.
( Dashed hopes:
Life abroad is mostly unpredictable. There is a high possibility that things will always not go as planned. It is hard for an immigrant who is on shaky legs to pull someone out of a pit to join him abroad. It is better to deal with a more settled person with papers than someone who survives on you like a bed bug.
Long-distance relationships do succeed, but from my experience, it is like gambling. With concerted and sustained efforts, you can get a high-flying decent person abroad to settle down with. This is far safer than banking on a ‘UAR’ woman exhibiting some hanky-panky with perceived innocence. Written by a UK-based Nigerian Journalist and Psychologist, Osahon George Osayimwen 14 Likes 2 Shares
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Travel / 6 Proven Ways To Avoid ‘Billing’ When Abroad by uche87(m): 4:26am On Nov 19, 2023 |
As President Tinubu continues the full experimentation of his ‘weight loss programme’ on Nigerians, those abroad are also feeling the heat. In the past couple of months, the practice of begging people for financial favours known by the local parlance as ‘billing’ has increased astronomically. While there are no official statistics to back the level of increase, I have decided to explain how to stay safe amid billing darts flying in the sky like Israeli missiles.
Sit down, grab a bottle of coke and some popcorn, let’s roll!
(1) Controlled usage of social media:
When you are new abroad, the initial fever of taking pictures, making videos, and sharing them on social media hits you. It is a normal feeling but you need to control it. These contents are usually misleading in the sense that they give people the impression that you are ‘balling’. As soon as they become broke, they will put your phone number on speed dial because they believe you now have the financial muscle to shoulder it. The less information they have about your progress, the lesser their faith in you to support them financially.
(2) First Attack:
Attack is the best form of defense, they say. When you sense someone is trying to ask you for money, you could go into protective mode. You do this by either complaining bitterly to the person about your financial challenges or even asking the person directly for help. This is like when you throw a good jab to distort the rhythm of your opponent in boxing. This strategy was in vogue during my first-degree days in O.A.U.
(3) Be Truthful:
Life abroad isn’t easy. Like I always say, “the pictures don’t tell the full story”. Don’t let your family and friends get lost in the beautiful pictures you share on social media about your life outside Nigeria. Fully orientate them about the financial pressure that living abroad entails. This prevents the reasonable ones from over-relying on you.
(4) Personal Information Management:
Learn to keep your big news to yourself. You bought a house, stay quiet; you bought a car, moved house, went on holiday, got promoted, bought designer shoes & clothes - keep them secret. Always control the excitement to share the news with the outside world because, in the real sense, nobody really cares. Remember there is always a price to pay for any information you share about yourself, be it good or bad. China knows this and this is why they are ever gathering information and restricting what people know.
(5) Measured Conversations:
When you are conversing with someone who could potentially ask you for money, even when they are not in actual need of it, it is better to keep the conversation short and structured. This gives the conversation direction and purpose. It also gives you the room to control it, before the other party sneaks in a cheeky demand.
(6) Total Blackout:
When all the above strategies fail, the inevitable is the ‘total blackout’ technique. Some people will never stop making demands regardless of how often you support them. The Total Blackout approach might entail you blocking the regular ‘biller’, deleting their phone numbers, deactivating your social media accounts, or changing your phone numbers.
I know God blesses a cheerful giver. But if you decide to initiate a transfer of money for every ‘touching’ story you hear from Nigeria, your life might end up being the next touching story.
If one of the richest rappers in the world - Jay-Z (worth S2.5 billion) could purportedly rebuff the loan request of his cousin who asked him for S4800, then who are you to attempt to meet all demands?
Written by Osahon George Osayimwen 122 Likes 14 Shares
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Politics / Re: 10 Groups Of People Enjoying The Tinubu Administration Right Now by uche87(m): 10:50am On Nov 07, 2023 |
sonofthunder:
Another shallow post. Very typical of the op your moniker makes me laugh. Stop hating bro. I am just catching fun and living the good life. Besides, if the article is more serious than this, you will NEVER read lol 1 Like |
Politics / Re: 10 Groups Of People Enjoying The Tinubu Administration Right Now by uche87(m): 8:58am On Nov 07, 2023 |
Akaegwu: Their salaries have been increased to 35k to accommodate corn 🌽 and beans hahhahahaa that’s quite huge. I am sure they must be living large right now from the increment lol 30 Likes 1 Share |
Politics / 10 Groups Of People Enjoying The Tinubu Administration Right Now by uche87(m): 6:40am On Nov 07, 2023 |
Literally speaking, when the famous American Political Scientist, Harold Lasswell was defining politics, he seemed to have had Nigeria in mind. According to him, politics refers to who gets what, when, and how. The general elections have come and gone. The spoils of war have been shared and the next couple of years will be the season of windfall for the political victors.
On my list of those who are currently enjoying Nigeria amidst the economic downturn, are predominantly politicians or those affiliated with them directly or indirectly.
My list goes thus:
(1) President Tinubu and family:
When Bishop Matthew Hassan Kukah said the Nigerian President is the 'most powerful' president in the world while speaking at one of the sessions of The Platform, people laughed. He further explained that Nigeria is the only country where the president can do and undo. The entire resources of the country are under his control. He uses these resources to cement his political might and grow it. On this assertion, Tinubu tops my list of those basking in opulence as Nigeria continues to sink low. His family members - specifically his wife, Remi Tiinubu, and son, Seyi Tinubu have also become forces to reckon with.
(2) APC members and other politicians:
If you are an important member of the ruling All Progressives Congress, you can't deny the fact that it is your time. This is why you will hardly hear this set of people complaining about the removal of fuel subsidies, inflation, or the falling value of the Naira. Other politicians from other parties who occupy public positions like lawmakers, governors, and other political appointees are grabbing things here and there while avoiding the prying eyes of the media.
(3) Nollywood actresses:
If you are a 'generous' Nollywood actress with an affiliation with the APC, or one of the ruling elites, then you should be smiling to the bank. Your 'hospitality services' will always be needed with life-changing benefits. This is because the party of easy-money-makers will never be complete without the beautiful women.
(4) Social media influencers/ Brown envelope journalists:
The aforementioned groups are propaganda arms of the political landscape, mostly headquartered on Twitter (X). Their role is inevitable in the face of bad governance. They are always needed to spin stories in favour of questionable public officials. They are trusted opinion leaders & moulders who abuse public trust and insult their intelligence. Also, their services never come cheap!
(5) MC Oluomo and his boys: Musiliu Akinsanya - the head of the Lagos state branch of the National Union of Road Transport Workers, (NURTW), self-styled MC Oluomo, is one of the loyalists of Tinubu. He has flourished like a plant stationed by the riverside in the last couple of years. When Tinubu won the presidential election, his son - King West bragged that 'they now own Lagos State and Nigeria'. Today, King West's entourage is almost as big as that of the president.
(6) A-list music artistes:
Top music artistes are quietly doing their bits to improve the value of the Naira through the exportation of music abroad, and generating foreign exchange. Artistes like Davido, Wizkid, Burna Boy, Asake, Rema, and a host of others, have been performing at big international events this year and bringing the foreign currencies home. The poor state of the local economy is hardly their problem.
(7) Kidnappers:
Due to the lax security in Nigeria, it has become easier to make money from abductions than owning an oil well. In under a month in the Okota area of Lagos State, for example, hundreds of millions of Naira have been doled out to kidnappers who have been taking popular entrepreneurs in the area hostage. To date, none of them have been brought to book by security operatives. Okota isn't an isolated case as the challenge of kidnapping spreads across all the geopolitical zones in Nigeria.
( Political activists:
There have been numerous protests and counterprotests under the Tinubu administration. Most of them are politically motivated and funded. If you are an activist with a loud voice, can act, pull a crowd, and have an understanding of the 'comrade lingo', you must have been getting lucrative political jobs.
(9) Contractors:
If you are one of the contractors whose names have been penciled down to carry out the 'pseudo-renovation' of presidential residences, the office of the First Lady, buying of the controversial yacht, and the luxury SUVs worth N57.6 billion, and many more, then your head has been anointed with oil. Also remember that road construction projects, bridges, and public buildings would subsequently follow.
(10) Lawyers:
Constitutional lawyers defending or trying to reclaim the mandates of politicians have also been cashing out. Mike Ozekhome, Wole Olanipekun, Rotimi Oguneso, and others have been milking politicians. Most of them have been giving politicians false hope in exchange for good money. No matter how deep the Nigerian economy sinks, their monies are effective floaters that keep them above the water to avoid drowning. Written by Osahon George Osayimwen 88 Likes 5 Shares
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Travel / JAPA: 10 Groups Of People Who Should Leave Nigeria Immediately by uche87(m): 11:56am On Nov 02, 2023 |
After looking at the '10 Sets Of People Who Shouldn't Travel To The UK' in search of greener pastures, I have decided to flip the card due to popular demand. This time around, I will be looking at those who need to leave Nigeria as soon as possible if they have a chance. Even if it means sailing in the proposed N5 billion presidential yacht of Presidential Bola Tinubu, in the sea of tears of the Nigerian masses fatally hit by the subsidy removal and other anti-people public policies.
Pardon me for the digression. The list is as follows:
(1) Above age 30 and unemployed:
If you are in your 30s and you haven't been able to land a decent job, Nigeria is already happening to you. That is the critical and formative of your life that could determine the direction of your entire life. You need an urgent and strategic decision to change your life around. Relocate immediately!
(2) Healthcare professionals:
There is a huge and lucrative market for healthcare professionals (mostly doctors and nurses) in the UK, US, Canada, Australia, and others. These healthcare professionals make big bucks abroad unlike in Nigeria where some state governors use them as tools of social experiment, on how much hardship a human being can bear in a lifetime.
(3) I.T Professionals:
It is no news that Information Technology is the new oil. The available roles abroad are not only lucrative but the working conditions are comfortable. The hybrid approach is usually adopted and this makes parenthood easier. If you are confident in your abilities, you know your onions and you want to test yourself, leave Nigeria immediately even if it's by black magic.
(4) Low-income earners: N100k and below:
As a family man, if you are making N100,000 per month or below under the 'Emilokan administration' of skyrocketing double-digit inflation of 25.8%, there is fire on the mountain. All you need to do is borrow the legs of Usain Bolt and run till you are out of the country. And that wasn't intended to be funny.
(5) State civil servants:
Have you noticed that the state civil servants are the regular victims of the state governors? They are not just poorly paid, but the payments of their salaries are mostly delayed. Most of them are like victims of Stockholm Syndrome; more like when the kidnapped young girls started falling in love with their Boko Haram abductors. If you are in these shoes, you are better off out of Nigeria.
(6) Full-time netizens:
If you spend an average of 10 hours or more on social media in a day without being an influencer/business personnel trading online, there is a problem. If what you do is troll celebrities and jump on trends, it means you are jobless. You should leave the country before the hair dye no longer hides your grey hair.
(7) Footballers:
Football is big business in the UK and Europe as a whole. It is a life-changing career that could alter the destiny of an entire generation. If you are still young and talented, you should leave and change the story of your family like Victor Osimhen.
( Breakfast victims:
If your self-acclaimed serious relationships have crashed three or more times in the last 12 months, due to your financial inadequacies, you might consider leaving Nigeria to step up. Your pocket needs to be rejigged. It is how the game works, don't blame the player.
(9) Habitual debtors:
One of the major causal factors of indebtedness is lack of money or poverty. , If you are always in debt, it might be that you are not earning enough. Financial mismanagement or gambling are also other factors. Leaving Nigeria where you can earn more in a more superior currency could be a good idea.
(10) Living with parents at 35 and above:
If you are residentially under the banner of your parents after seeing 35 Christmas celebrations in their home, then a major problem is at hand. Under normal circumstances, you should be raising your own little family at that age. Japa could be the antidote to your ailment. Written by Osahon George Osayimwen 93 Likes 10 Shares
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Politics / 6 Important Things To Do For Survival As Nigeria Gets Tougher by uche87(m): 4:06pm On Oct 28, 2023 |
With the recent victory of President Bola Ahmed Tinubu at the Supreme Court, Nigerians need not be told that the next four years will be long. In the same vein, you don't need a prophet or soothsayer to alert you about what is coming. You need to brace up for it and simply hope for the best. As a social scientist, I will be suggesting six core ways of dealing with the 'Storm Jagaban' to ensure the survival of the common men.
(1) JAPA/Relocation:
Over time, I have always emphasized that Nigeria is a country that exists for the rich. The rich tend to get richer at the expense of the poor who they pretend to care about. It is harder to break the cycle of poverty in Nigeria. This is why most religious leaders see it as a 'spiritual problem' caused by 'village people'. For this reason, it is better to leave the country for the oppressors. Who runs away during a fight isn't a coward. He will live to fight another day. Relocating abroad might be the best option for you.
(2) Get close to God:
German philosopher and economist, Karl Max described religion as the 'opium of the masses'. He believes it is what the proletariats (workers) will fall back on for succor when the bourgeoisie (middle class) exploit the system. There might be an element of truth about this, but I believe there is more to religion. Getting closer to God not only unlocks opportunities but also gives one hope during hard times. Hope is needed under this Tinubu administration of hasty trial and error policies.
(3) Learn a skill:
Unusual times require unusual decisions and solutions. I listened to comedian and skitmaker, Mark Angel's recent interview with Teju Babyface. During the interview, he revealed he used to make between $250,000 to $40,000 monthly from producing skits online since 2017 before the industry became too saturated. That is an outstanding testimony if he is telling the truth. Nigerians need to pursue their own unique vision to unlock their fortune. This could be anything legal. This is the best time to take risks and empty the entire sink.
(4) Join APC:
This is a very controversial view but it is not for everyone. To be honest, it sounded comical to my wife who read this piece behind my back. Joining the All Progressives Congress, APC is a considerable survival strategy. If you can't beat them, you might have to join forces with them. Highly controversial Nollywood actress, Tonto Dikeh, who recently joined the APC after criticizing the party massively on social media, appears to be thinking deeply. This is the wrong time to be dogmatic.
(5) Build your mental strength:
Tough times have a way of breaking you down mentally. While your mental health deteriorates, it also affects your physical health and social well-being. You have to stand your ground and consciously use your coping skills to stay strong and well. As a Psychologist, I am a firm believer in the potency of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, CBT. Do simple research online about this and stay healthy. If you are sad/depressed on a lengthy note, the possibility of you developing a mental illness is high.
(6) Become a religious leader/motivational speaker:
In the course of the Great Depression of the 1930s, a special window of opportunities was created for religious leaders, motivational speakers, and the like in the U.S. This is because their line of trade is the propagation of the messages of hope. According to history, the period saw a resurgence of revival-tent preaching in the Midwest and South, as itinerant traveling preachers drove from town to town, living off donations. During that time, the world needed 're-assurance', which is the default setting of every human being during turbulent times. Loosely speaking, Nigeria would need massive 'medical reassurance' if Tinubu keeps toying with the fuel price and the naira in this present manner. Written by Osahon George Osayimwen. 55 Likes 8 Shares
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Travel / Re: True Story: The Married UK 'prostitute' From Nigeria And The Govt by uche87(m): 3:23pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
zed7: This dude is always writing nonsense articles. I don't know his obsession with telling his tales of the UK, like one who never expected to leave Nigeria. Tell your tales to your family and friends who may be interested. stop hating. Did the writer also force you to read his articles? Nairaland has hundreds of daily contents but you appear to be fixated on the contents of one particular person who is doing it for free. |
Travel / True Story: The Married UK 'prostitute' From Nigeria And The Govt by uche87(m): 12:19pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Loneliness In The UK
When I moved to the UK a few years back, the 'relationship market' appeared confusing. Many people presented as available, but at the same time, they were very unavailable. It was the feeling of being lonely in a densely populated space. The single African men were eager to mingle and date foreign women. You can't blame them, the exposure was lacking and they wanted to 'eat' the good of the land. As time passed, fresh immigrants especially from Africa would realize that people from their countries were not in demand. It is very frustrating. It was as bad as being asked to supervise the sharing of popular delicacies while you are fasting. Hunger must have overwhelmed your flesh, but your spirit is holding back and close to being broken. Since Nigerians couldn't get romance for free, they decided to buy it as it is being done back home. The hook-up culture is real, it is everywhere and the only thing that differs is the degree of existence. The UK presented an awkward situation. Even with a sizeable pocket full of pound notes, it was still difficult to find a 'seller'. It was an unusual situation.
Married Nigerian Woman Comes To The Rescue
Back home in Nigeria, a man with cash is like a king. Even the best of the best women would bow down at the feet of a man who displays the smallest evidence of success. Out of frustration, some men recounted stories of their past glory in the relationship market, but their resume was not only obsolete in the United Kingdom, it was irrelevant.
Then on Badoo - (an online dating platform), one unrelenting person found a young married woman in her early thirties who was strangely engaging in hook-up in the city. He approached her and they reached an agreement. They fixed a date and she showed up. Her rates were reportedly reasonable. As it happens, he went about telling everyone who cared to listen that he had found gold and more people started patronizing her. According to rumours, some white young men who wanted to have a feel of the African natural endowments joined the train en masse, taking turns in multiples.
To this day, I still wonder what her motivation was. Like wildfire, her phone number made it to the phonebooks of both the single and married men. She was so dedicated that she was ready to serve them all. Her sex tapes soon started flying around the city until her hubby started smelling a dead rat. She would later crawl back into her shell and not much was ever heard about her again. She allegedly relocated to another city to start a new life.
I kept thinking in my head; why would she be prostituting in a land flowing with milk and honey? You have the right to work, why didn't she just stick to her job and make money? People sleeping with her were not better off. They probably only picked more shifts than her and brought the money from the same job she was avoiding to pay her. Up till this moment, that woman's situation is still an enigma to me.
Contrast Between Her And The Average Briton
The woman's life is in direct contrast to the life of the average British woman. They could give you their all if they fancy you. But money is hardly the motivation based on my personal experience thus far. Even the wealthy men avoided them as they saw them as 'giant killers'. A single allegation could bring down the strongest empire of an accomplished man who just showed laxity for a couple of minutes. The difference between the unfaithful Nigerian woman and the locals is the political system. They are from opposite worlds. The Nigerian woman came from a dark and disadvantaged setting where economic opportunities are so limited that people tend to use what they have to get what they want. The wrong mentality must have prompted her into the adult trade without any due consideration of the fertile soil in the country. In the UK, as long as you are ready to work, you are assured of a comfortable life. If you are diligent in whatever you do, no matter its low level, you can easily afford your major needs and certain wants. You don't need to be special to do well. At least, each venture earns you an average of 100 pounds in a day. That is equivalent to N140,000 before tax.
Although the cost of living in the UK is higher than that of Nigeria, the funds go a long way at a similar rate at the end of the month. These earnings give the earner a sense of independence which would later attract dignity and self-respect. She will not be depending on any man to buy her clothes, shoes, phones, payment of rent, school fees, medical bills, automobile acquisition, and others. She would only say 'yes' to the man she genuinely loves or lusts after.
The Nexus Between Poverty And Prostitution
Several academic papers have directly linked poverty with prostitution. In a research paper published in the UK in May 2023, 74% of women engaged in prostitution linked their decision to economic hardship. This might not be far from the reason why hundreds of young Nigerian women are overtly and covertly engaging in transactional sex to make ends meet. Inflation is battling a double-digit inflation rate of 25.8%, 71 million people are living in extreme poverty, with an alarming unemployment rate that has been politically revised to make the government look good.
In Nigeria, an educated young lady relocates to the commercial capital of Nigeria - Lagos. She is placed on a monthly salary of N200,000 (if she is lucky), her yearly rent might be N500,000, and transportation costs under the President Bola Ahmed Tinubu administration might be around N60,000 monthly. This person needs to feed, wear clothes, and also support family & friends financially. She might be under intense pressure to show her friends that her life is progressive. She shows evidence by using the latest iPhone, clothes, or jewelry, so as to avoid lengthy explanations. All these are uploaded as receipts on her social media accounts.
Gradually, she starts to suffer and smile as he hopes for a breakthrough. She goes to church to pray fervently for economic prosperity. The pastor via his long sermon prompts her to part with more money from her already strained purse. She looks at pictures of her mostly unemployed peers balling on social media. This gives her the feeling that she is losing out. Then enters a wealthy old man with a plan to make the universe work for her. All she needs to do is to sleep with him. Since she isn't a virgin, she complies. After all, that private part has no meter and it has no voice to tell its story.
As promised, things would turn around for her. People start to celebrate and reckon with her but her success story is fake and misleading. She gets tempted to make more money and she jumps into the bed of richer men regardless of the size of their potbellies, their ages, or the amount of grey hairs. At this point, all that matters is the money.
If the economy of Nigeria was buoyant with massive opportunities for all, most women would not spread their legs for financial/economic benefits. This might not eradicate prostitution but it will reduce it to the barest minimum. As the economy of Nigeria worsens, rumours have it that public officials have become top financiers of the sex market. Nollywood actor Charles Inojie recently recounted on the Honestbunch podcast how his politician friends chase him around for the contact number of actresses for hook-ups. According to him, women are ever-willing as long as the price is right. Osahon George Osayimwen is a UK-based Nigerian journalist and psychologist. 38 Likes 5 Shares
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Travel / JAPA: 10 Sets Of People Who Shouldn't Travel To The UK by uche87(m): 11:49am On Oct 22, 2023 |
The JAPA syndrome is like an epidemic and it is very contagious. Over the years, I have seen people who don't need to relocate do it. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Even when it is, the species of grass might choke or purge you if you feed on it. The UK and Canada are facing similar challenges. They have been stretched thin by a high migration rate.
Below is a list of people who don't need to JAPA even if it is for free:
(1) Big earners (N2 million and above):
If your monthly salary is in the range of N2 million and above, it might be in your best interest to stay back in Nigeria, except if you are coming with an employment letter with commensurate pay with your local earnings. As of today, the blue-collar jobs that constitute the saving grace of migrants have become scarce. The white collar jobs have also become harder to get due to the high influx of people to the UK.
(2) Corrupt politicians:
If you are a serious contender and not a pretender in politics in Nigeria, you have no business in the UK. You can travel there for tourism purposes anyway. We all know politics in Nigeria is the most lucrative business around. Despite the cash crunch, the members of the House of Representatives still took delivery of 360 brand new exotic cars costing between N160 - N200 million purportedly. Only an established footballer or a mega music star can live like that in the UK. For a footballer, you have to be constantly banging week in and week out like Erling Haaland of Manchester City.
(3) Popular pastors:
If you have a growing religious ministry as a pastor and your position is putting quality meals on your table either directly or indirectly, you should stay back in Nigeria. Culturally, people in the UK don't give. In fact, it is like a taboo to give out money without a concrete reason. They are largely irreligious and no scripture in the Bible can convince them to do so.
(4) Yahoo Boys:
If you are part of the Easy Money Gang, the UK isn't for you. You are advised to remain in Nigeria where you can play 'catch and release' with highly corrupt law enforcement agents. The UK is arguably the most surveilled country in the world. It is a place where action and consequences strictly go hand in hand. If you get caught doing internet fraud, you will head to jail faster than you made it into the country.
(5) Music Artistes:
If you are making reasonable money from the entertainment industry as a musician, Nigeria is the right place for you. Inasmuch as relocating to the UK might give your public profile a boost, your account balance might compete with a mustard seed in terms of size. If music was easy here, Naira Marley would have remained in Peckham, London where has was a kingpin.
(6) Business Owners:
If you are an employer of labour and you have a decent staff strength, you don't need the UK to better your life. All you need is patience and concerted efforts to expand your network. Your business might grow and become a force to be reckoned with in the league of businesses in Nigeria. On the contrary, if you are struggling to pay a monthly salary of N20,000 or N30,000, people leave Nigeria immediately and stop being a part of the Nigerian problem.
(7) Runs Girls:
If you clandestinely work in the informal 'hospitability and pleasure industry', and the job has earned you a car that is uploadable on social media, continue the 'good work'. There is a saying that 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'. Making money with the honeypot is extremely difficult in the UK. Men would rather stay faithful to their wives than pay a nominal leg to a lady for just some minutes or pleasure. You will also face competition from other women who passionately give it out for free. You might have to wait for ages for a footballer to come your way before you can experience the Indian Summer.
( Age range: 50 and above:
In my honest opinion, I think relocation suits the youth more compared to the elderly. As an older person, you can only be shielded from economic uncertainties if an unscrupulous politician hides billions of Naira in your bank accounts. If you are in your 50s, life in the UK could frustrate you except you get an executive job. Working your way up as a student, family man, and part-time carer or warehouse staff will be overwhelming for you. I will not be shocked if you wake up one day and decide to run into a moving train or jump out of the window of a high-rise building in a bid to end it all.
(9) Father Abraham:
If you are the father of all nations like Abraham in the Bible, I mean you have many children - the UK might be the wrong destination for you. This is not unconnected to the fact that you would require domestic and family support in catering for them. For domestic support, it is not easily affordable. For family support, it is hard because everyone is busy. A colleague of mine has massive grey hair at such a sound age. I found this very mind-boggling. He recently confided in me that he came to the UK with six biological children of his. Trust me, those hairs will soon start to fall off.
(10) Civil Service Director/Bank Manager:
I will explain this on a personal note. I have met some former Nigerian bank managers hustling in the UK. Their reasons for relocating have never convinced me enough. Most say they did it for the future of their kids, others say it was due to the level of insecurity in Nigeria. In my view, leaving for the UK as a top management staff in the private or public sectors isn't worth it. Your mental health would suffer significantly due to adaptability issues.
On a closing note, before you Japa, get your facts right. Don't do it because people are doing it. What nourishes Emeka's body might incapacitate his brother, Nnamdi. Don't join the long list of attention-seeking Nigerians who hastily relocate and later open the Book of Lamentations on YouTube, just to vent their frustration. Osahon George Osayimwen is a passionate writer and Psychologist based in England. 164 Likes 29 Shares
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Romance / UK Dating: 8 Differences Between White And Nigerian Women by uche87(m): 1:37pm On Oct 01, 2023 |
This piece appears controversial but I fancy the backlash. It is an interesting conversation I would like to start and probably learn from the views of others. It is a 'cruise article' and shouldn't be taken too seriously. It has no intention to denigrate any tribe or race. There is a huge contrast between dating a white lady in the United Kingdom and dating a Nigerian lady. The values are always different. Let's be sincere, it is the deepest wish of most Nigerian men fresh in the UK to drink from the other river. It is called 'jungle fever'. The problem is that most men would never admit it. Dating a white lady has its pros and cons. This piece will focus on some of the merits of it.
They are explained below:
(1) Loving:
Love is not really an African thing considering the attributes of love. Love is supposed to be blind, selfless, fair, and unconditional. In Africa, a man is loved based on what he can offer. While this might apply to some white women, many of them are in bed with men who are either engaged in blue-collar jobs or making next to nothing. Money is hardly a big factor. From experience, white women are more loving and sacrificial compared to their black counterparts. The only problem is finding the one who is ready to love you and not use you for pleasure.
(2) More Straightforward:
White women are more open about their sexual interests compared to their Nigerian counterparts. They don't fake it. If it is genuine love, you will be informed. If it is lust, you will be told from the onset. In fact, she might tell you she has a boyfriend but wouldn't mind giving you some rounds in the ring like a boxer. If it is love, she gives you her all, but if she notices any hanky-panky, you are in soup. Apologies or constant pleas for forgiveness are often seen as emotional blackmail/manipulation.
(3) Benefits:
Before job sponsorship visas became popular in the UK, the pioneers of Japa who settled in London survived on spousal visas. To date, they are not big on the tier 2 visa. They mixed with locals, had kids with them, and secured their stay. Most Nigerian women wouldn't even save your number on WhatsApp if they get the hint that your visa is about to expire.
(4) Exposure:
If you are tired of the norms and values of a Nigerian relationship, and you fancy the culture shock, crossing to the other side of the street is for you. You will be exposed to foreign meals, strange conversations, new behavioural patterns, accents, dressing, social life, and the rest. This will widen your scope of life and make you more liberal.
(5) Cost-effective:
One thing about white ladies is that they don't 'bill'. This is because they live in a society that doesn't encourage such behaviour which is almost traditional in Nigeria. Most times, when a relationship crashes in Nigeria, the hurt is double for men. The heart breaks and the bank account sheds some significant weight too. The woman easily recruits her bestie for the vacant post and moves on.
(6) Sweetness:
Many veterans I have met in the UK believe that foreign wine is sweeter than palm wine. Some have gone as far as giving some biological and physiological explanations to back up their views. It is a hard one, but one thing is clear, those on the other wing are crazier and more exploratory.
(7) Length:
In the 21st century, you must have realized that a burning candle can even last longer than a Nigerian relationship. This is why most Nigerian women never post their partners on social media. This makes it easy to switch on to the next. Relationships with white women are longer. They are more intentional about love. If you live in the UK, you might realize that your 21-year-old colleague has been dating her boyfriend for the past 5 years. Also, they never rush into marriage.
( Fairytale vibe:
If you are the type who loves to show off on social media, an interracial relationship is ideal for you. It is amusing to people and it creates so much buzz. People create viral content out of this and gain massive followers on social media telling their stories. Imagine you and your Oyinbo babe dancing or vibing to the latest video by Davido and posting it on Instagram. It is so unreal and fascinating. This is even different from the joy of birthing Ramsey Nouah, Van Vicker, or Lilian Bach as mixed children.
In the end, it all bores down to taste and individual preferences. Do what works for you. There are many routes to the marketplace. It is advisable for people to stick to their kind for the purpose of understanding and peaceful coexistence. Written by Osahon George Osayimwen 67 Likes 2 Shares
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Celebrities / Mohbad: 6 Reasons Why Naira Marley Might Go Scot-free by uche87(m): 8:10am On Sep 22, 2023 |
If issues are treated with the sense of urgency and importance they get in the court of public opinion compared to the conventional court of law, Nigeria might stand a chance of being a better place. The court of public opinion is unorganized and loud. It entails vigilantism and it follows trends. With due respect, opinions here hardly count on legal grounds. Whereas, the court of law which is supposed to uphold the rule of law in situations of distress, has become more vulnerable than a person battling extreme learning disability and autism.
I have followed the untimely demise of singer Mohbad since the drama ensued, and from the beginning, one needs no binoculars to see how it ends, except if the person is a foreigner. The principal actors are Azeez Fashola aka Naira Marley, Samson Erinfolami Balogun popularly known as Sam Larry, and on the periphery, Zinoleesky (Oniyide Azeez). Below are the reasons why Naira Marley and Sam Larry might go scot-free despite the massive allegations against them:
(1) Nigerian factor:
Nigeria is not the easiest place to pursue justice against an influential figure. This is because certain individuals are stronger than the institutions in the state. This is supposed to be vice versa. Influential people are more connected than you can imagine, and they just find their way around their travails. If Senator Ike Ekweremadu (serving a jail term in the UK for organ trafficking) had erred on Nigerian soil, do you think he would have been convicted? The answer is no. Doesn't it beggar belief that Naira Marley - a proud ambassador of marijuana and a rumoured drug peddler is the face of the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency, NDLEA? Anything is possible as long as Nigeria is concerned.
(2) Politics:
An industry that is booming in Nigeria, especially in Lagos State is the industry of thuggery and hooliganism. This is due to the nature of our politics. Our politics is extremely combative in nature. Our democracy is a decoy to give a resemblance of legitimacy to handpicked public office holders. It is a system where the violent and the crooked win the game by force, without adhering to the rules of the game. So the politicians hire thugs during the general elections and political crises. This accounts for why popular thugs are doing better than doctors, engineers, lawyers, IT personnel, entrepreneurs, and other top professionals. With Sam Larry being reportedly linked with some ruling elites, I see them secretly bailing him out when the current thick smoke subsides.
(3) No Evidence:
Like the singer Burna Boy said; "without evidence, you go explain tire" Naira Marley and Sam Larry (prime suspect) have bullied, tortured, and victimized Mohbad courtesy of some of the videos available on social media. But on the contrary, none of the videos prove they directly murdered him. People are just driven by emotions which is understandable. One of the major catalysts of the #JusticeForMohbad movement - GistLover Blog claims that the deceased friend named PrimeBoy hit him with a charm during a fight. According to the blogger, PrimeBoy was a turncoat who was a loyalist of Naira Marley and Sam Larry. PrimeBoy has since laid the accusations to rest with a timely video statement. Can you tender black magic in court as evidence? This seems like a story for the gods. The nurse who reportedly injected Mohbad and his friends who took him to the hospital are all closer to jail than the prime suspects.
(4) Cultural factor:
Rumours have it that Naira Marley is peddling drugs. Others say he is a cultist. These allegations constitute the average lifestyle of a typical Nigerian musician. Rapper Olamide in one of his songs called his colleagues 'Science Students', mixing hard/bad substances together and we danced to the song. Nobody paused to think about the reality of the lyrics of the song. Other music artistes also rap about gang violence and drugs. Drugs, alcoholism, promiscuity, internet fraud, gangsterism, and all manners of civil disobedience are the cultural attributes of the Nigerian music industry. The only difference right now is that the monster we created is asking for a human head for dinner.
(5) Our judiciary:
If this case gets to court as expected, I suspect it might drag longer than the arms deal trial of the former NSA, Sambo Dasuki over alleged $2 billion fraud. Is anybody still talking about it? Justice is always delayed in Nigeria, as long as you have the resources to get the best lawyers who exploit the lacunas in the Nigerian judicial system. Over time, people will move on to other issues. Sam Larry might enter into a plea bargain with investigators for bullying and harassment. He could eventually get a slap on the wrist. Naira Marley can also wiggle out of this in some way unscathed. Bribery and corruption can also play a key role in the outcome of this criminal case. If politicians can procure court injunctions, other wealthy people can also replicate that.
(6) The court of public opinion is misleading:
Due to the problems of social conformity, bandwagoning, and groupthink, people tend to abandon their sense of reasoning to follow the popular trend. This is done for the sake of acceptance. Most times, the popular road has proven to be the wrong direction. Remember when a section of the country believed former President Muhammadu Buhari was dead, and replaced by one body-double named Jubril Al Sudani from Sudan? They also believed Buhari's school leaving certificate didn't exist. On the entertainment end, many also believed rapper Ruggedman slept with Toni Payne (the ex-wife of singer 9ice). I can go on and on. These were just mere trends that didn't have the legs to stand the test of time. When a concrete investigative structure is set, all these hearsays and rumours evaporate.
In conclusion, I am not a fan of Naira Marley and I will never be. I apologize if my reader feels I have sounded like one or probably my article is insensitive. I am just trying to play the devil's advocate here and wake people up to smell the coffee. By law, Naira Marley and Sam Larry are deemed innocent until proven guilty by a court of competent jurisdiction.
I believe Naira Marley has seen the worst already. He is scalded for the rest of his life. I assume his musical career is already over. He was a setting sun before now anyway. This ordeal might also blacklist his record label and other business engagements he might also have in the entertainment industry. I think it might require genuine spiritual intervention for Naira Marley to reclaim his spot in the music industry again. He has always 'enjoyed' the Black Sheep identity, but this time around, he will have to 'endure' it. The decision of the court will not alter the public perception of him because Nigerians never had faith in the judiciary. Osahon George Osayimwen is a UK-based Nigerian Journalist and Psychologist. He has an incurable addiction to writing. 51 Likes 8 Shares
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Travel / UK: 10 Things You Will Miss About Nigeria When You JAPA by uche87(m): 6:12pm On Sep 20, 2023 |
There is no gain without pain in life. We must sacrifice something for whatever gain we make. Remember the concerted efforts made by the late pop legend, Michael Jackson, just to be able to shop in a mall in disguise. Inasmuch as relocating to the UK is a life-defining move and experience, it entails leaving behind some vital aspects of your life for better economic opportunities and a higher standard of living. These aspects will always be missed. Let's recount the interesting aspects of the Nigerian life below: (1) Food:You can easily get Nigerian delicacies in some cities in the UK, but that local flavour is always missing. I feel it needs the hands of the rugged women within the crude environment to get it right. For example, which Amala in the world can replace the famous Amala Skye in Ibadan? (2) Social life:The social life in the UK is either poor or strange to Africans. People in London are stepping it up with events but other cities are still lagging behind. Even when you organise social gatherings and send out invites, most people ignore them and pick shifts instead. This is unlike Lagos where people easily 'turn up'. Remember what singer Banky W said about social life in Lagos, "Ain't no party like the Lagos party" (3) Women:Nigerian women are easily accessible as long as you have the money. You can easily see what Lagos socialite and other celebrities are doing with the dream women of people. Even when you are broke and you are organised as a man, you might still have your way. In contrast, the relationship market is different in the UK. It is a very conservative setting that abhors strangers. Ephemeral factors like skin colour, accent, ethnic background and visa status play key roles in who dates you. (4) Work-life balance:If you believe the hustle in Lagos is real, then you haven't seen the one in the UK. With the cost of living rising, I have seen people working 24 hours to make extra bucks. I once met a 48-year-old man who confided in me that he had been working 24 hours for 3 straight days. Most immigrants who set unrealistic targets for themselves end up living to work. (5) Friendliness:Nigerians are culturally friendly, especially if you are someone of high repute. Even when you are a nobody and you dress well, people easily get attracted to you. These people try to socialise with you. The UK will unconsciously teach you the differences of the terms; colleagues, friends and acquaintances. Most people only relate with themselves either on a professional or strictly needs basis. (6) Church:Sunday mornings are lovely in Nigeria. People wear elegant dresses and head to church. The praise and worship session lightens your mood. It is always a moment of expression of joy. But in the UK, the roads are mostly deserted on Sunday mornings. This is because most people are nursing hangovers from the escapades on Saturday. In fact, you will doubt if the Britons actually introduced Christianity to Nigeria via Henry Townsend in 1842. (7) Friends/Naija vibes:It is easier to get people together in Nigeria than in the UK. In Nigeria, most people do 9-5 jobs and the weekends are sacred. Over here in the UK, every day seems the same. When you are free, your friend or neighbour is fully engaged. When you are on a day shift, he might be on a night shift. With Nigerians back home 'billing' the ones in the diaspora more than Ikeja Electric, people work throughout the week to send something home. ( Weather: Nigeria has one of the best atmospheric conditions in the world. The weather is moderate and with technological devices, you can create your own comfort. In the UK, the weather is so cold and unpredictable. Most times, your sense of fashion goes out of the window. You just want to avoid being sickened by the cold, by wearing big jackets. These jackets make you look like Ninja Turtles. The weather remains more unstable than the mood of a woman seeing her period. (9) Family Support:When you start having kids in the UK, you will value family support. It is mostly unavailable. Even when your family is here, most of them will be engaged because time is too valuable. In Nigeria, your parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles and other family members will always be available to support you. All you have to do is to grease their palms, no matter how faint the oil is. At all at all na imm bad pass. (10) Christmas and other festivities:The Christmas Day vibe in Nigeria is second to none. People cook the best meals and share them in the neighbourhood. Visitors show up at your place for memorable times. In the UK, it is a bank holiday and some workplaces that can't afford to close, lure people to work with double pay. A greedy Nigerian will take the money and postpone the celebration for the following year. At the end of the year, all your memories might hover around depressing moments at work if care isn't taken. Osahon George Osayimwen is a Journalist and a Psychologist. He writes from the UK. 142 Likes 11 Shares
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Celebrities / Mohbad And The Gangs Of Lagos by uche87(m): 5:17pm On Sep 17, 2023 |
I lived for over a year in the Shomolu area of Lagos State before I left Nigeria in 2021. I chose Shomolu due to its closeness to Ikeja, where I was working at that time. Shomolu - the acclaimed printing hub of Lagos State was a fertile ground for the recruitment of miscreants and thugs for any purpose. You don't need to find them, they will locate you on their own. Some of the area boys were in the habit of begging me for small amounts of money, regularly ranging from N200 - N1000. One day, one of them asked me if someone had offended me and I would want vengeance. I said no. He was like "If anybody ever crosses your path, tell me and I will deal with the person". Since I'm an easygoing person, I never found any use for these young men. From the day the offer was made, I realized how easy it would be to raise a deadly gang in Shomolu. Imagine if I was a politician with unlimited access to millions of Naira, these men would unleash fire and brimstone if I so wished. Months later, there were a few political campaign events on my street, and I noticed these uneducated youths policed the events after their palms were greased.
Thuggery/hooliganism is a lucrative business in Lagos State. It is more of a survival strategy that residents can easily switch in and out of in the event of seeming danger. It is so rife that even the middle class of Lagos brags about being "mad". Madness gives them some sort of street credibility and societal acceptance. Since the massive success of the NURTW chairman of the Lagos chapter Musiliu Akinsanya aka MC Oluomo in Lagos, several street urchins have gotten the motivation to build their profiles and grow in influence to attract very lucrative "political jobs". Since elections in Nigeria are about the politician who cheats the most using hardened on-field political thugs and probably inducing the electoral commission - INEC to steal the mandates of worthy candidates. So the thugs and the politicians are one big family that forms a part of what is called the 'political structures' of Lagos.
A similar account of this story was told in the blockbuster movie - Gangs of Lagos. These gangsters have different factions that are controlled by the strongest men in that locality. The most influential groups win the juicy 'political contracts' during the general elections, and their leaders gain celebrity status overnight through notoriety. The leaders of these groups are merchants of violence used for dirty jobs like violence, aggression, intimidation of political opponents, kidnap, and eventual assassination if the need arises. This model of political structure which encompasses the political actors, security operatives, religious leaders, thugs, and other technocrats, is also being copied by music artistes. They frolic with cultists to garner confidence and a sense of security on the streets, in a bid to dominate their contemporaries. The backing of these cultists helps you to step on toes without any consequences. I want to believe that it was on this ground that singer Azeez Fashola aka Naira Marley collaborated with the celebrity thug, Samson Erinfolami Balogun aka Sam Larry. Naira Marley was beginning to make money but lacked power. Due to his personality, questionable past, and style of music, he needed that power and influence to replicate his feat in Peckham, UK. Sam Larry is rumoured to have a large network of street thugs that could cause unrest without asking questions.
Sam Larry is undoubtedly a man of "influence" and his future in his chosen career is very bright. For a stark illiterate who could barely express himself in the English language, he is quite successful. Despite having no entertainment skills, he loved fame and wanted his fair share of the limelight. He has over 600,000 followers on Instagram. He has pictures with the President of Nigeria, Bola Tinubu, the Oba Elegushi - Saheed Ademola, the governor of Lagos State, Babajide Sanwo-Olu, and other dignitaries we only see on TV. He reportedly claimed he works with the Oba Elegushi which the latter expectedly denied in a circulated press statement. Sam Larry came in handy when the former signee of the Marlian family - Promise Ilerioluwa Aloba, popularly known as Mohbad decided to walk away from the record label. Sam Larry would declare him persona non-grata on the street. His faceless boys would physically attack him on sight. Mohbad in the last interview before his death also claimed to have been blackballed by Naira Marley and his entertainment contacts to hamper his musical career.
On several occasions, Sam Larry could be seen threatening the life of the hapless Mohbad. He stormed the set of a music video and tried to use a whip on Mohbad, if not for the timely intervention of a music colleague, Zlatan. Even when Mohbad tried to seek refuge under the banner of the police, it was an effort in futility. This is expected of a failing state like Nigeria, where there are strong men and very weak institutions. So weak that it was alleged that Naira Marley, an alleged drug peddler and consumer used the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency, NDLEA, to arrest Mohbad. He was purportedly tortured and he started experiencing memory loss after his encounter with the law enforcement agents. Today, Naira Marley who cherishes marijuana is the face of the NDLEA. We play too much in Nigeria.
I don't want to believe it was Sam Larry's intention to eliminate Mohbad. If so, he could have done it without putting his face out there. I feel it was about making life unbearable for him and ensuring he crawls back to Naira Marley. Naira Marley needed to prove a point to Mohbad that he is the king of the streets like the lyrics of his songs portray him to be. Sam Larry also needed to prove to his close ally - Naira Marley that he is up to the task. As pressure mounted, all the underhand tactics of Naira Marley and his team appeared to have taken a toll on his health. While Mohbad's death is unfortunate, I believe justice will never be served. As at the time of writing this piece, there is no cast-iron evidence linking Naira Marley's team to his eventual demise. The circumstances are based on conjectures that one might need an Excel spreadsheet to track. The Nigeria Police appears to be waiting for the trends to die a natural death. The founder of the online news platform - Sahara Reporters in the person or Omoyele Sowore, believes Mohbad's enemies, the police and the politicians belong to the same WhatsApp group. Governor Sanwo-olu who jumps on any trending issue like the Hilda Baci's Cook-A-Thon exercise has equally looked away. Sam Larry appears to be a sacred cow. He is like the son of the soil who can't be sacrificed to appease the soil, even if heaven falls. This is why some sort of vigilantism is being adopted here. The court of public opinion has taken over the case. The worst they can do is ruin the reputation of the Marlian family. Naira Marley doesn't appear to care or he is pretending not to. Sam Larry seems worried. This negative public perception of him is bad for his career as a thug. If he is blacklisted by the general public, no politician or public figure would want to identify with him in the future. He is a man who is obsessed with the camera, lights, and action coupled with social media validation. How would he survive?
Nigeria isn't new to unresolved murder cases. From Dele Giwa to Bola Ige and Funsho Williams, the list is long. Mohbad's demise is synonymous with the death of singer Davido's uncle - Isiaka Adeleke in Osun State (April 2017). Mohbad and Adeleke trusted quack nurses who administered injections to them. The coroner in Osun pinned the death of Adeleke, a very popular politician tipped to be the next governor, on the nurse. The nurse obviously had dodgy credentials. But the Adeleke family wasn't having it. They felt his death was politically motivated. Mohbad's father is looking in the direction of the unnamed nurse. Although social media users believe his suspicion is an act of cowardice.
Mohbad was hurriedly buried like a Muslim in an undersized coffin they had to bend his neck to fit into. The absence of an autopsy makes the issue more complicated than necessary.
The drama around the death of Adeleke was very messy. A couple of names were thrown around by conspiracy theories until the consumers of the news felt they had had enough. Adeleke's brother - Ademola Adeleke aka the 'Dancing Senator' capitalized on his brother's popularity to step up his political career. He undeservedly danced his way into the Nigerian senate, and later the governor's office. He attained greatness despite his lack of charisma, leadership qualities, and credentials.
The world will move on from the Mohbad gist. His toured protector, Zlatan is already trying to milk the moment by dropping a seeming tribute to Mohbad. He would be hoping it helps re-invigorate his career which appears to be low on protein. Thuggery in Lagos will not end, as justice will never be served. The Mohbad episode is just a microcosm of the larger Nigerian society where the principle of 'might is right' is prevalent. In 2017, the African giant, Burna Boy allegedly contracted armed robbers to go after his colleague Mr 2Kay. Mr 2Kay was baptized with fire. Burna Boy was briefly arrested and released. Nothing was ever heard about the case to date. There is nothing new under the sun.
Osahon George Osayimwen is a Journalist and a Developmental Psychologist. He writes from the UK.
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Romance / How To Find Love In The UK, ONE Secret Strategy by uche87(m): 6:19pm On Sep 12, 2023 |
Finding a meaningful relationship in the United Kingdom is daunting. Most relationships here are highly sexual and short. This could be attributed to several reasons this piece doesn't intend to delve into. Due to the cold weather and the lonely nature of this country, even the most decent people gradually inculcate the habit of dating for the fun of it. As soon as the first squabble happens, pride kicks it, and both parties use the exit doors. But people still find love. I did!
Below are viable channels you could use to find that special person. I will divide them into sub-sections namely: low possibility and high possibility channels. I will also give you the best based on my personal experience and knowledge.
(A) Low possibility channels:
(1) Dating apps: This is the most common place new immigrants go to seek romantic relationships. They go as far as paying for subscriptions in order to access the top features of the apps. To the best of my knowledge, the majority of the people there just want to taste a variety of meals. There will always be resemblances of genuineness, and originality, but it only goes one way which is - south. Being black, being a student, and being new in the system are mostly undesirable characteristics in the UK dating pool. It takes so much commitment and time to meet an unserious person on these apps not to talk of a serious one. This wastes valuable time and a prolonged ugly experience could affect your perception of life.
(2) Workplace:
Work is the oxygen of 98.9% of immigrants in the UK. Most people unconsciously spend 70% of their time at work. Circumstantially, they stand to develop feelings for people they tend to see every day. I call this the 'BBNaija Syndrome'. This is the wrong direction to search for your missing rib. First of all, people gossip a lot in this part of the world. Office romance is a very hot gist and everybody wants a share of the news. This has made women very careful about workplace relationships. Even if it is genuine, people will give it a randy outlook which might affect the progress of the relationship.
(3) Night clubs/pubs:
This is another easy option for newbies. This is also the worst option in my view. This is the den of the kind of people rapper Olamide referred to as "Awon Omo Wobe". Women who make ridiculous allegations against men are headquartered in pubs and nightclubs. They have the capacity to either send you to prison or back to your home country. Meeting decent women here might have worked for some people, but your chances here are as low as Chelsea's chances of winning the English Premier League.
(4) School:
This would have been an ideal place to build romantic relationships, but women are not naturally wired to date people on their level. They only date their peers when the chips are down. African women especially need that person who is in a vantage position to shield them from harsh life realities. Again, the way people disperse after lectures at the postgraduate level needs academic research. It is another low-possibility area for me. Additionally, at the postgraduate level, most of your classmates will be married.
(B) High Possibility Channels:
(1) Social gatherings:
If you are single, don't miss out on social gatherings when available to attend. The UK is too busy, lonely, depressing, and stressful. Local parties like birthday parties, weddings, naming ceremonies, and other forms of get-togethers, constitute safe spaces for immigrants. It gives them a sense of belonging and relaxation. Try and mingle at social gatherings; just wear a bright smile and socialize with people. This is a very effective channel.
(2) African churches:
Some pastors treat their churches like a family. They know their members closely and seek avenues to bring them together. This might not be easily obtainable in a white-dominated church. These pastors also reportedly matchmake people and offer general assistance to members. African women rever religious leaders. If a male janitor asks a lady doctor out outside the church, she might bluntly say no. On the other hand, if her pastor says it is the way to go, she will likely grab him with both hands.
(3) Relationship pages on social media:
This idea is like a diamond in the dirt. There are some fast-growing relationship pages on Instagram namely LDFAfrica, Joro Olumofin, and others who are in the matchmaking business. These pages have huge followings on social media and they give you access to amazing people. You can make a sponsored post and target the ladies in their 30s. Those ones are more mature, mentally stable, and understanding than most of their counterparts in their early 20s.
(4) single mothers:
This is a very unpopular opinion, but the idea is gold. Give the single mothers a chance. A mother of one in her twenties or early thirties is recommended. The majority of them in the UK are apparently not in demand. People only offer them short-term contracts and never extend them. This has affected their self-esteem, thereby strong-arming them into eating any meat that is available. They just go wherever the wind takes them and the traveling experience is ever turbulent. If a young man approaches them with a credible offer, the person would be treated like he just found the cure for HIV/AIDS.
THE BEST OPTION:
(5) Referrals:
Referrals have a success rate of 80% in my opinion. It is like getting a recommendation letter from a reputable person for a job. This is how it works; whenever you meet decent and reasonable people, tell them you are single and need to get married ASAP. They might have someone in their class to introduce to you. Most times, because the reputation of someone of high repute is at stake, both parties work hard to make the relationship work. A friend of mine - a former support worker and student was introduced to a medical doctor in his second month in the UK. The lady had everything but a man. They are happily married with a baby girl today. This is just one of several testimonies recorded through referrals. Osahon George Osayimwen is a UK-based journalist. He has an incurable addiction to writing. 82 Likes 9 Shares
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Religion / Pastor Olukoya: Will The Women Enlarging Their Buttocks Make Heaven? by uche87(m): 7:57pm On Sep 08, 2023 |
There is a saying that "people tend to see life from where they stand". From a religious standpoint, the founder of the Mountain of Fire and Miracles, Dr D.K Olukoya's claim that the devil has taken over women doing the Brazilian Butt Lift, BBL might be justified. On the 4th of September, 2023, Olukoya said: “Many churchgoers, unfortunately, have become so worthless that the devil does not waste time on them again, he has already captured them,” he said. “When you are a woman and you go for surgery to expand your breasts and bum, you are already gone.
“You are telling God that the one he put there is not okay so you want to put your own. The devil will not waste time on such people" he concluded.
Personally, I'm not against women going under the knife to cover their physical insecurities. People need to be allowed to do what they have to do to be happy. In the 21st century, the pressure is high on every adult to succeed in many spheres of life. If the pressure isn't well managed, this could cause mental health complications like depression, anxiety disorder, drug abuse leading to drug-induced psychosis, and others.
The psychology of BBL women
There is a need for people to feel comfortable and confident about the way they look. People are wired differently and they tackle issues in their own unique way they deem appropriate. While some women gather confidence in their fat bank accounts, material possessions, personal achievements, and intellectual prowess, others gather confidence in physical attributes like their beauty, glowing skin, curvy shape, round & firm breasts, massive bum, round hips, flat tummy, small waist, sexy eyes, pink lips, white teeth, and others. The challenge for people of this latter class is that these attributes fade over time. The toll of motherhood also changes the 'factory settings' of some women for life. By the time some women are in their thirties or forties, their bodies begin to experience significant changes that physical exercises and food intake control might not fix. The tummy becomes protruded and bigger, and at times you could be mistaken for being pregnant. The bosoms take a permanent resting position like they are overseeing the mid-section. The bum becomes flappy, stretch marks take over some strategic areas, acne dominates the face leaving spots behind, and wrinkles also creep in. If the person in question was getting a hundred likes on a picture on Instagram, the number might drop to fifteen likes. Direct Messaging, DM also takes a fall. If you are a public figure who has a social media presence, your fanbase would gradually reduce with supporters becoming haters. They will start to sneak some vile comments into the comment section. These social media comments are subsequently corrosive. I remember when OAP Toke Makinwa used to upload some elegant pictures on social media and some commenters would complain that her bum was flat. This must have coerced into going for liposuction to enlarge her derriere. The same critics would tell her today that her doctor did a bad job and one side is bigger than the other. This is so ridiculous! The transient nature of life
From a psychological point of view, negative social media comments could be very herculean to manage, if your strength as a human being is mainly hinged on your body. What people of this short-sighted view have failed to realize is the transient nature of life. Nobody reigns forever. Every medication/drug no matter how potent has an expiry date. The vintage car - Peugeot 5054/5055 was once for the elites, today it is a symbol of abject poverty and it is apparently off the road. Where are the BlackBerry phones some women sacrificed their dignity for? What about the famous Yahoo Messenger? I can go on and on to explain the transient nature of life. Additionally, there is no way you can please everyone with how you look, and this is why we have individual tastes called 'spec' according to English slang. Only ice cream makes everybody happy. But on the other hand, a section of adults would tell you ice cream is too sugary, and might affect their performance in the 'other room'.
Is the BBL Wrong?
The above question is very tricky. It depends on who you ask. If you ask the doctors, they will give you a million reasons why it is right, and so will their customers. If you ask the religious leaders, they will not only tell you it is wrong, but they will also go as far as making a case that the end of the world is near. The National Health Service, NHS in England, sees liposuction demands by people as easily expendable, except it's a genuine reconstruction procedure that is proven to have caused severe psychological effects.
In my opinion, the best way to decide this is by looking at the 'INTENTION' or driving force behind liposuction. The majority of the women see it as an 'investment'. It is actually an investment because it runs into millions of Naira both at home and abroad. In fact, the cheaper the cost of the surgical procedure, the closer you are to your grave. It is risky too.
These women are not undertaking the life-threatening experience for the fun of it. It is bluntly to attract the big men, although this is easily deniable. There is a common rumour that hovers around women doing liposuction and it is 'transactional sex'. They are either accused of snatching other people's men or warming the beds of the sugar daddies. These people accused of sleeping around also don't help matters. They desperately market themselves both to the rich and poor; whosoever cares to do business with them. They post raunchy pictures of themselves online, wearing the most revealing outfits that could soil the thoughts of any man. They try to make every conversation about their bodies. They share the biggest testimonies of property acquisitions online, and attribute them to 'God'. They go on endless international holiday trips, lodge in fancy hotels, and display exotic foreign meals they might even struggle to eat behind the scenes. Their flamboyant lifestyles are always in disagreement with their earnings. Their publicized accomplishments make the genuinely hardworking people look lazy.
Conclusion
Truthfully, these members of the BBL family are selling 'something' on a clandestine note, and they don't normally disclose it. Some bold ladies like Funmilola Talabi aka 'Funmi Sugar' - a social media influencer have been able to publicly admit she is an 'escort'. She even goes as far as discussing her rates online. Many more are still hiding but by their fruits, we shall know them. Now let me ask some questions. Is prostitution not morally wrong? Is it a honourable job? Do you genuinely believe God is happy with the women? Honest answers to these questions could draw us closer to the truth.
Osahon George Osayimwen is a Journalist and a Developmental Psychologist. He writes from the United Kingdom. 11 Likes 2 Shares
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Family / 7 Reasons Why Nigerian Marriages Are Crashing In The UK by uche87(m): 6:36am On Aug 31, 2023 |
Nigerian Marriages always appear solid and formidable until the union gets a visa. The moment it passes through the UK Point of Entry, it starts to develop cracks until it takes more falls than the Naira under the current Tinubu administration. In this piece, I will be taking a dive into the common reasons why Nigerian marriages struggle on UK soil.
(1). Personal Vendetta: Marriage as an institution in Nigeria is modeled around patriarchy - a system of male dominance. In this case, the man is the king while the woman is the queen. As you know, the king dominates the queen, and nothing he does is wrong in most cases (especially for the wealthy men). The woman could be forced to endure physical, verbal, psychological, financial abuse, and lots more. She stands to get mocked if her marriage crashes. This creates age-long bitterness and a cold war in the union. Women have a long memory and they hardly forgive. The moment the marriage transits to a society that gives women an upper hand against men, they come for their pound of flesh like Shylock. This destroys the foundation and subsequently brings it to an end.
(2). Level Playing field: Marriage in Nigeria is a bit lopsided in terms of the professional profiles of the couples. In some cases, the husband might be a doctor while the wife might be selling beauty products or other petty items that cannot sustain her financially. The man steps in, and this gives him an undue edge in the marriage. In the UK where a hard-working bartender can match a nurse financially, and there is a level playing ground, power changes hands. The man who might be an alpha male loses that edge. This kind of equality - an unfamiliar territory for the man, if not well-managed might be the collapse of the marriage.
(3). Cultural Issues: In the UK, the difference between a man and a woman might be that one menstruates and the other doesn't. In fact, people switch genders according to their moods. In simple terms, there is no duty/responsibility that is totally exclusive to a man or woman. Over here, men go to the market, clean, wash, cook, babysit, run errands, and also fund the home. Local champions who are used to being served like emperors by their wives might struggle to cope with the new environment and could feel short-changed.
(4). Busy Schedules: It is no longer news that the cost of living in the UK is as high as a COVID-19 patient's temperature. In my previous articles, I have overemphasized how people inevitably work for long hours in order to cope with rising living expenses and financial demands from their families back home. This might affect bonding between young couples and reduce intimacy. Most times, when one party is ready for a "mid-section parley", the other might be unavailable due to conflicting shift patterns, not being in the mood due to mental or physical stress. This gradually takes a negative toll on the marriage.
(5). Women Are Powerful Abroad: In the West, there are checks to prevent the domination of women by men. This has made women so powerful. In the event of a conflict, the odds are always against the men. The Spanish FA chief, Luis Rubiales learned the hard way for controversially kissing midfielder, Jennifer Hermoso at the recently concluded 2023 Women's World Cup. Also in February 2021, Yoshiro Mori - head of the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games Organising Committee, was coerced into resigning after saying 'women talk too much in meetings'. Former Manchester United player, Mason Greenwood apparently ruined his career due to struggles with his partner. In marriage, some women mischievously abuse their powers. A colleague lost his marriage of 5 years after his wife reportedly abused him physically multiple times. A behaviour that was never evident in Nigeria according to him.
(6). Cheating: A randy man who is obsessed with beautiful women would easily make mistakes in the UK. The UK exposes you to numerous women of different shapes, forms, and beauty. If you think you have seen it all, you need to see the Jamaican, Somalian, Pakistani, Iranian, curvy Kenyans, and some pretty Indian women. It is not just how they look alone but what they are wearing. Some of them might fancy you and might be willing to hand you the cookie on a platter of gold. There are also several single mothers who have nothing to lose. They are ready to 'share it' graciously like the Federal Government palliatives across their community. One person's husband might be hooked to the detriment of his marriage.
(7). Finances: Another area of challenge in a UK home is money. In an informal survey I personally conducted, I realized it is the most common problem around. It is extremely difficult for a man to singlehandedly foot the household bills in the UK. Paying for everything is easily obtainable in Nigeria where the cost of living is lower. A woman who is used to the Nigerian system might be hoarding cash, and under-declaring her finances. This is done to force the man to fill the vacuum. This creates discontentment, and over time, frustration starts to hit the man. He might be tempted to seek solace outside the marriage to boost his mental health.
Osahon George Osayimwen is a Journalist and a Developmental Psychologist. He writes from the South Yorkshire region of England. 116 Likes 17 Shares
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Travel / 5 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Come To The UK Right Now by uche87(m): 5:07am On Aug 28, 2023 |
This piece isn't aimed at discouraging anyone from relocating to the United Kingdom. The country has the 6th largest economy in the world and it offers massive economic opportunities for both the young and old. It is also beautiful and gives maximum exposure to people. But things are changing and they are changing rapidly. You need to be mentally prepared before you get ambushed by harsh reality. Keep the following factors in mind when trying to take the plunge.
(1) Limited job opportunities: As a fresh immigrant, it takes the grace of God to crack the white-collar job circle. Even if you get white-collar jobs, most of them don't offer visa sponsorships. So, they can't guarantee you any desired visa extensions. To someone who wants to stay back in the UK after studying, what's the point? For the blue-collar sector which apparently admits every willing or unwilling human being available, the jobs are disappearing. You must have heard viral stories of people on healthcare visas not getting shifts. As if this isn't enough, job opportunities are drying up in the less desired warehouses where hard labour is rife. The warehouses constituted the last hope of the common man those days. If you are hoping to gather money to pay your school fees from hustling in the UK, you might need to have a rethink.
(2) 20hrs Work Limitation: In recent times, there have been strong rumours of student visas being canceled by the Home Office, after the holders failed to stick to the 20-hour work restriction in a week. It is one of the most traumatic experiences an immigrant can face abroad. Imagine you are getting an email that your visa has been cancelled, while you are just settling in, with a huge debt hanging over your head. You might strongly consider detonating a Kim Jong Un-like bomb in your village to annihilate any witch/wizard that might be linked to your predicament.
(3) Housing Crisis: The housing crisis in the UK is so severe that people now take their house-hunting activities to the NSPPD altar at 7 a.m. It is not just about the exorbitant prices alone, it is about the stiff competition you will face from other applicants. It is as competitive as applying for civil service jobs in Nigeria and India. These so-called accommodations come in the form of "poultry" due to the relatively small sizes. They also come with massive paperwork that could be cumbersome for a new immigrant to satisfy. This isn't the challenge an immigrant wants to face due to its overwhelming nature.
(4) High Cost Of Living: Living costs constitute a global issue and it is highly multi-factorial in nature. Major cities in the UK like London, Manchester, Sheffield, Bristol, Birmingham, etc., have been hit by mass migration, thereby straining available public facilities. People with permanent jobs are feeling the heat not to talk of the casual workers living from one unassured shift to the other. For a man converting naira to pounds to cater for daily expenditure in the UK, the thoughts of running away, or committing suicide might be crossing his mind, at least 4 times in a day.
(5) Low Chances Of Staying Back: The chances of international students staying back in the UK after schooling are getting slimmer than the popular Nollywood actress, Lepa Shandy by the day. Before you know it, your 2-year post-study period would have elapsed and you might have to return home. Before now, healthcare visas have come to the rescue. Today, the opportunities have been abused and the forces of demand and supply have also affected sponsorship opportunities in the healthcare line. If you think you can easily marry a citizen to stay back, you might have to buy some anti-depressants, as a backup plan.
In conclusion, the best way to easily scale through these hurdles, and weather the storm might be by owning one of President Tinubu's controversial bullion vans.
Osahon George Osayimwen is a Journalist and a Developmental Psychologist 114 Likes 19 Shares
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TV/Movies / The Bbnaija Reality Show Is Causing A Big Problem by uche87(m): 8:07am On Aug 24, 2023 |
There is an epidemic of chronic moral decadence in Nigeria, but everybody is looking away. Despite appearing to be one of the most religious countries in the world, the epic fall in moral standards has refused to abate. Nigerian youths are obsessed with cutting corners to make humongous amounts of money, for the sole purpose of squandering them like drug lords in blockbuster movies. Any opportunity that dangles the fat carrot would always get the attention of the desperate ones.
It would be unfair to say it is only Nigeria that parade's rotten figures. It is a global issue; abnormalities are fast becoming the new norm in the 21st century. The only concern I have is that Nigeria is proudly marketing these questionable figures to the outside world. The theatre of obscenities - the Big Brother Naija reality show is airing again, and the dark sides of Nigerian society are being shown on TV screens in high definition to the world. This is happening as other African countries like Kenya and Rwanda are painstakingly building their images as the tech hubs of the continent to attract Foreign Direct Investment, FDI.
When the organizers of the BBNaija show are shopping for contestants, they are not sincerely interested in the egg-heads. They are searching for good-looking, flashy but empty, and jobless Nigerian youths. These are people with cooked-up resumes about non-existent businesses and phantom entertainment records. The organizers are searching for beautiful women of easy virtue, products of self-obsessed cosmetic surgeries, seeking a media platform to market themselves before moneybags, as objects of high-class pleasure. The program showcases fiery ill-mannered ladies with short tempers. These ladies have the propensity to stir up intense drama to entertain the viewing public. The show is interested in loose women who are some to build romantic/sex relationships with fellow housemates in a matter of seconds of physical encounters. What about the men? They are sexually vulnerable and emotionally unstable. They put on a fake persona and it is called a 'game plan', aimed at boosting their chances of success in the reality show.
Even when professionals in the class of an IT expert and a doctor graced the show at different seasons, they fell by the roadside. This is because the show is designed for individuals who could bring thick smoke, fire, and stink out the entire place. The more chaos or scandals recorded achieved by the housemates, the higher their ratings and viewers' participation in the form of paid votes. There have been instances of the faceless lead figure - Big Brother purposely causing a fracas in the show to pitch housemates against each other under the guise of what is called a 'secret task'.
The controversial reality show is as insensitive as watching a mentally challenged person dance unclad in the market with relish, just because they are not a family member. With due respect, the show is the den of uncultured women who either tease me with their bodies under the prying lenses of the CCTV or outrightly sleep with them due to a lack of self-control and sense of dignity. Of course, this can not apply to all the participants of the show as there are a few decent ones. On a majority level, it features pseudo-revolutionary females who hide under the guise of feminism, to gratuitously challenge and undermine men. This is the camp of women with surgically-enhanced bodies who would later litter the internet with adult content. This is done with the hope of attracting men with ill-gotten wealth to hand them a fairy-tale lifestyle. This writer is trying so hard to mince words to avoid name-calling and committing slander/libel. The products of this show end up being social media influencers with no substance. They easily amass vulnerable followers and subsequently lead them astray, due to the propagation of negative values.
It should be noted that this piece isn't an attempt to assassinate the characters or question the integrity of the participants and organizers. It is just the bitter truth that needs to be told. The show has produced some amazing individuals who are doing well and keeping it decent with their private lives. Kudos to the good few.
The latest edition of the show known as the BBNaija All-Star edition is coming at a critical point in the political landscape of Nigeria. There are credible claims that a popular presidential candidate - Peter Obi's mandate was stolen in the last general elections. He is seeking redress in court. The government of the day appears to be squeezing blood out of the bodies of the already emaciated citizens, for the purpose of fueling the wrecked vehicle called Nigeria. The poor masses are pushed to the wall. There are conversations about whether the country needs a revolution or evolution to move forward. And then, a distraction like this reality show sets in. Could this be a mere coincidence? A colleague of mine at work told me he suspects the reality show was sponsored by the Federal Government to distract the people from the current economic hardship in the country. I blatantly disagree with such conspiracy theories, but you can't blame him. The amount of public attention the show attracts is also baffling to me. It beggars belief.
What stops the owners of the show - the Banijay Group of Enterprises from hosting a show that celebrates the brightest talents in Nigeria like CNN African Voices, Marketplace Africa, and others? This could boost Foreign Direct Investment as investors would want to tap into the talent pool of vast human resources in the long run.
The level of moral decadence in Nigeria is at an all-time high and it needs no further exposure or enabling ground for growth. On social media today, the only private part of a female's body that can't be shared online is her INTESTINES. Young ladies now openly sell their bodies on social media like butchers in the marketplace. Internet fraudsters also achieve celebrity status after being arrested, paraded, and prosecuted by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC. Our music - Afrobeat is now very filthy. It promotes all the vices you can ever think of in a highly melodic way. The music artistes with meaningful content suffer in vain to find an audience, yet we are a highly religious country. What an irony! This is not the Nigeria of our dreams. Nigeria is failing on all fronts. The truth needs to be told no matter whose ox is gored.
Osahon George Osayimwen writes from the United Kingdom
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Travel / 6 Strong Reasons Why Nigerians In The UK Are So 'stingy' by uche87(m): 6:55pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Let me start this piece with a common saying on social media. If you are in the habit of complaining people are stingy, it might be an indication that you are begging too much. Well, much has been said about people in the United Kingdom being tight-fisted. To a large extent, I am of the opinion that this is true and could be attributed to some of the reasons explained below:
(1) Culture: The United Kingdom just like most Western countries has embraced individualism. The system of every man for himself. In Africa, it is collectivism which simply means 'Let's do it as a family, let's grow together' You will hardly see the core Britons help each other financially. They will rather rely on credit facilities from banks, credit cards, and benefits to survive tough financial times. This is unlike Nigeria where 'billing' is almost cultural in the 21st century due to age-long systemic poverty.
(2) Littany of lies: Some Nigerians are in the business of cooking up comprehensive and water-tight lies to extort money from their family members abroad. Personally, I have friends who have abandoned their WhatsApp accounts to avoid hearing countless touching stories from friends and acquaintances in Nigeria. To cope with the virus of lies, people in the UK have adopted a firewall to block all intrusions.
(3) Hustle is hard: Life in the UK is historically difficult, and in recent times, things have gotten tougher for the 6th largest economy in the world due to the growing population, Brexit, COVID-19, and other issues. People work round the clock, under extreme weather conditions, to earn money and the cost of living is too high. As of 2020/2021, employees were chasing people for jobs. Two years later, the reserve is the case, even in the blue-collar jobs industry. So every penny counts. You don't want to make money only to play a Father Christmas to someone whose financial challenges might not be genuine.
(4) Taxes: This topic doesn't require much explanation as this is a paramount issue in the UK. Any sort of comfort you enjoy in the country is taxed. It runs a service-based economy. I have seen people earn about £3,000 gross salary in a month and get a net pay of £2,300. Income tax, National Insurance, and pension deductions took about £750 which is more than the salary of a successful person in Nigeria. Rent, council tax, loan repayment, vehicle insurance, and others would further beat your take-home pay until it struggles to take you home in the end.
(5) Personality traits Some people are naturally stingy. In fact, they even struggle to spend their own money on themselves. It appears they might be of the belief that the funds could be taken with them to the great beyond. I have a friend who has no record of helping anybody in the history of his life and he has no plan to turn a new leaf. People like these come to the UK and become hardened in the area of stinginess.
(6) People are broke: If poverty in the world is being measured by raw cash and not access to food, the UK might be one of the poorest countries in Europe. Most people have to overwork, to the detriment of their health to make extra bucks. This is why some locals see the paper chase as a rat race and they prefer to stay unemployed and focus on benefits from the government. Furthermore, the housing crisis in the UK is real. As a family man, 70% of your monthly earnings easily go into accommodation costs. This makes life mentally stressful and frustrating. Anyone looking from the outside is easily deceived by the glossy pictures, nice clothes, and lovely locations they see on social media. This set of people constitutes the 'God When Squad' - a popular faction in the Nigerian social media space.
Osahon George Osayimwen writes from Sheffield, United Kingdom. 151 Likes 25 Shares
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Politics / Asari Dokubo: The Latest 'bad Boy' In Town by uche87(m): 7:54am On Aug 05, 2023 |
Lets call a spade a spade, Asari Dokubo is a major disaster waiting to happen. The magnitude of the disaster is what the world is unsure of. Mr Dokubo's recent behaviours and public conduct have all shades of terrorism written all over them. Dokubo and his rag-tag foot soldiers bear the hallmarks of the Boko Haram sect at the incubation phase. The only missing piece is for an agreement to go wrong between Dokubo and his clandestine backers in government, and we will have a full-blown terrorist group flexing muscles.
From the look of things, Dokubo's boys might grow faster than the Boko Haram terrorist group due to their access to arms and ammunition. The menace of Dokubo is what happens when a nation refuses to learn from history, experience and mistakes.
In the words of the renowned German sociologist, Max Weber, "a government is an institution that holds a monopoly on the legitimate use of violence" A state that shares the use of force with private citizens is sliding towards anarchy and failure.
Dokubo, a former militant blowing up oil pipelines, found his voice since his infamous meeting with President Bola Tinubu in June, 2023. Immediately Tinubu handed him the microphone, his first victim was the Nigerian Army. He accused them of working in concert with criminal syndicates to steal oil in the Niger Delta region. The accusations were made without any proof. From there, he went after his usual sparring partner - Nnamdi Kanu, who is cooling his heels in one of the holding cells of the Department of State Security, DSS. He also lambasted the Igbos and has been threatening to crush the imaginary enemies of Tinubu. Even the governor of Rivers State, Siminalayi Fubara, has been warned to tread carefully before he 'collects woto woto' (severely dealt with).
Fredrick Nwajagu, the Eze Igbo of Ajao Estate in Lagos State, didn't do as much as Dokubo before he was arrested by the police & the DSS, and subsequently charged to court. He made some unguarded statements during the general elections and today is behind bars as he continues to stand trial for 'terrorism'.
Dokubo appears untouchable, he seems above the law. For the security operatives to be turning a blind eye to his illegal militia, their dangerous weapons being brandished in public places and subsequent threats, it means he might be doing the bidding of Tinubu whom he is loyal to.
Dokubo is an emblem of the grossly dysfunctional state of Nigeria. He symbolises the dearth of and stinking rot in our democracy. He is a working machinery designed to effectively subvert the will of the people, using force and other underhand tactics. Can a figure like Dokubo fit into the moderately sane political climate in Britain, United States of America and other top tier western countries?
This is a real life outplay of the controversial 'Gangs of Lagos' movie in which politicians recruited thugs in the slums of Lagos State to secure election victories through aggression, violence and bloodshed. From the look of things, it appears Tinubu needs a South-south version of the popular MC Oluomo of Lagos State in the Niger Delta region. Forces like Dokubo are popularly regarded as a part of the 'political structure' in Nigeria. They help win elections by strong-arming political opponents, and their followers to give way. You don't have to be a genius to understand why Tinubu is grooming Dokubo. Dokubo is a part of Tinubu's future power consolidation plan. He did it in Lagos and it has worked for 16 years. It is time to replicate it at the federal level.
Since elections in Africa are hardly free and fair, agents of violence come in handy and are judiciously deployed by desperate political actors. Like mercenaries, they align with any power bloc as long as the price is right. Tinubu has the mastery of phoney politics in Nigeria. He graciously blesses everybody that does political business with him. They amass humongous wealth, job opportunities, government contracts and vast properties in choice locations across the country. Through this, your loyalty is secured through the politics of patronage and prebendalism.
With all due respect, Dokubo stands for nothing and falls for everything. He has no ideology but pretends to have one. He doesn't care about the people like he parades himself. He is strictly focused on the pursuit of his egocentric interests. Let me take you down memory lane. Dokubo used to be a supporter of the main opposition party - People's Democratic Party, PDP. Then the PDP was the ruling party. Asari boldly castigated the All Progressives Congress, APC. He bluntly expressed his disdain for the then APC presidential candidate, Muhammadu Buhari in 2015. In specific terms, Dokubo in the build-up of the 2015 presidential elections threatened that there would be bloodshed on the streets if Goodluck Jonathan of the PDP lost the election. There were rumours that Dokubo and other militants were on standby waiting for a call for a contingency plan when Jonathan lost the election. But the former president was quick to concede defeat which was against the run of play. Revelations by the Reformed Niger Delta Avengers, a breakaway faction of the Niger Delta Avengers, corroborated the rumour of a sinister plan to sabotage oil production in Nigeria.
The same Dokubo would later claim to have been employed by Buhari in his second term to tackle some security challenges in Nigeria. Today, Dokubo is in bed with Tinubu. He probably would have been with Peter Obi of the Labour Party if the latter had emerged victorious in the presidential elections.
I make bold to say that Dokubo only supports Tinubu for blatant personal aggrandizement. He made the confirmation with his own mouth. He claimed Tinubu supported his family financially when he was in jail. According to his personal account, Tinubu paid the school fees of his children, provided them a house, a vehicle and gifted him a sizable amount of money during his trying times. For this reason, he has pledged his allegiance to Tinubu. He has been emboldened to go as far as breaking the law to crush the enemies of the president.
Dokubo needs some political education and I hope he would be humble enough to lend his ears. Political participation teaches us that the electorate should vote for a leader who can cater for the general interests of citizens and not private interests. It is about a leader who can guarantee good governance and the provision of essential public goods, for the betterment of the majority. This is in accordance with the social contract theories, on the basis of which the government was formed. So if Dokubo and the Nollywood actress, Eniola Badmus, voted for Tinubu on the basis of personal favours, it isn't ideal.
The bar of leadership in Nigeria is at an all-time low. Nigeria went from a PhD holder to a man who almost presented his 'NEPA Bill' as his school certificate. Tinubu took over with his entire true identity and life history in doubt. Tinubu's ascension to power has inspired Dokubo to develop a presidential ambition. In one of his latest rants that went viral on social media, he claimed he would one day become the number one citizen of Nigeria. He explained that if Tinubu could do it after his 'Emi Lo kan' (it's my turn) statement, he could also become president. Imagine a former Niger Delta militant being the president of Nigeria.
Well, if Tinubu who has been linked with drug trafficking in the US could do it, Dokubo might also stand a good chance. That is the reality of life in Nigeria. Dokubo has become so brazen that he traveled to Abuja with his team to stage a counter-protest during the 2nd of August Nigeria Labour Congress, NLC, protest on the removal of fuel subsidy. It was a show of shame to say the least.
Dokubo's presidential ambition is a potent threat to the Nigerian state. As Nigerians shockingly miss Buhari despite his monumental failures, may that day not come when Dokubo will be in power, and we will miss Tinubu. Nigeria needs a viable serum for this cycle of Stockholm Syndrome.
Osahon George Osayimwen writes from the United Kingdom.
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Travel / Don't Come To The UK If You Are Guilty Of These 10 Things by uche87(m): 9:34am On Jul 30, 2023 |
Life in the United Kingdom is far different from what most Nigerian men are used to in their home countries. The points here might appear so simple but they count in the preparedness of a man in bracing up for the challenging task ahead. They constitute the essential ingredients that put the final touches to the taste of a good soup. Come with me and let's dive into these points: (1) No creditworthiness:If you are not creditworthy, you might struggle in the UK, because the credit score is taken seriously here. You will struggle to secure loans and mortgages. Even offline, your friends and colleagues might be hesitant to assist you financially during difficult times. (2) Cheating:In Nigeria, cheating married men are like celebrities, especially when they have financial muscle. Even when their wives know, they endure the problem. In the UK, cheating on your wife might render you homeless and even pave a visa route for her and the children through your downfall. If you are a serial cheat, it might be better for you to remain in Nigeria where you are a king without a crown. (3) Pride:Some Nigerians are excessively proud. They never do household chores and they brag about it. It is too expensive to secure domestic workers here and the terms of engagement are too strict. You might have to keep your hands dirty at home to keep your marriage going. Some jobs also come with insults and talking instructions from underage or far younger colleagues. If you can't handle it, you might be forced to sleep rough and go hungry due to being broke. (4) Obsession with white-collar jobs:In the UK, it is easier for you to easily get blue-collar jobs and make good money from there as an immigrant pending when you are fully integrated into the system. You might be forced to come down from your high horse to work in factories, restaurants, warehouses, care homes, and hospitals; playing menial roles. If all you know is wearing suits and ties in cozy office environments and signing documents, the UK might not be for you. (5) Laziness:Making money in the UK is quite tough. If the money sent to Nigeria could talk, some people will not touch it. The majority of immigrants do transitional jobs of an average of 12hrs per day and 6 days a week to make ends meet. The cost of living is too high at this point. A lazy man who is used to enjoying free cash from petty crimes in Nigeria will certainly not fit in here. (6) Can't manage loneliness:This affects single people more. Over here, people would only check up on you if they need you. Everything is highly transactional! This gets to everyone at some point. You have to manage it well before you get in bed with the nearest 'mad' person. (7) Tolerance/Endurance:Immigrants who work in health and social care must possess this attribute. The money might be good but there is a reason why the labour turnover in this sector is very high and visa sponsorships are given for people to remain there. This is because of the unconventional nature of the jobs. If you can't tolerate or endure the smoke, you might end up begging the Tinubu victims in Nigeria for money right from the UK. ( Hate cooking:If you don't have cooking skills in the UK, you will suffer oh! You will end up eating foreign foods that you might find tasteless. You will spend a lot on patronizing Nigerian food vendors who sometimes cook burnt offerings for the gods. You will eat junk food till you become pregnant without a forthcoming baby after 9 months. (9) Lacking good communication skills:Being able to communicate in good and simple English is very essential in the UK. It is very imperative when attending a job interview. It is the easiest way to sell yourself even when the certificate might be lacking. It shows your level of intelligence and how adaptable you can be. If you are poor in this area, your progress might be hampered in the UK. (10) Cold:If you are the type that screams 'weather for two' anytime rain falls in Nigeria, the UK might not be for you. If you can become sexually restless under a weather condition of 25 degrees Celsius in Nigeria, imagine what you would do when it falls to 0 in the UK. And this isn't a place to be randy. It is very expensive and dangerous to do so. Read the stories of the former Manchester City defender, Benjamin Mendy or Adam Johnson and learn. Feel free to debate the few points I have made so that we can all learn. Osahon George Osayimwen writes from the United Kingdom. 264 Likes 21 Shares
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Politics / 7 Viral Events That Have Embarrassed The Tinubu Presidency by uche87(m): 9:07am On Jul 29, 2023 |
When the Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Presidency happened on 29 May 2023, I was worried about how high the Lagos NURTW celebrity boy, Musiliu Akinsanya aka MC Oluomo would fly. Let me emphatically state that I am not his hater nor a fan, nor am I an enemy of progress. I imagined his eagerness to relocate to the seat of power, Abuja from his base in Lagos State. His son, King West, had already bragged on social media that 'they' now own Lagos State and Nigeria together.
I imagined the fate of the Yoruba Nollywood actresses in the hands of MC Oluomo. I felt they would be like motherless day-old chicks within the vicinity of hungry hawks. But interestingly, my imagination has been totally wrong. The gentleman has kept a very low profile in both state and federal politics since Tinubu emerged as president. In his absence, his boss - Tinubu has been frolicking with yesterday-men to feature in his presidential reality show. There is a regular pattern of news, it is either Tinubu is coming up with controversial economic policies or he is doing photo-ops with individuals of highly questionable characters.
Below are some individuals/events that have affected the image/reputation of Tinubu either by association or by occurrence:
(1) Asari Dokubo meeting:
Tinubu's meeting with the former Niger Delta militant, Asari Dokubo, at the Aso Rock Villa on 16 June 2023, hasn't aged well, due to the conduct, and displayed impetus of the latter since the parley took place. When Tinubu met with Asari and publicised the visit as an achievement, many wondered what was cooking. Asari represents the era of what I regard as the age of 'guerilla politics' and political opportunism. But Tinubu appeared proud of the visit which appears to have backfired today. Asari left Abuja with the effrontery of fanning the embers of tribalism by attacking the Igbos viciously via unguarded social media comments. He called the Igbos slaves, mocked the incarcerated Nnamdi Kanu, labelled the Nigerian military 'oil thieves' and threatened to crush the South-easterners. He has gone further to raise a private army to annihilate the enemies of Tinubu. He also threatened the sitting governor of Rivers State, Siminalayi Fubara, with violence. That's a very daring thing to do. Shockingly, all the security agencies in Nigeria have looked away as he is an ally of the president. Many have been forced to assume that a sacred cow like Asari might be carrying out the specific instructions of Tinubu.
(2) The James Ibori encounter
I think Tinubu was better off meeting with the ex-convict, James Ibori, in the dead of the night like Nicodemus did with Jesus, as reported in the Holy Bible. Tinubu has the freedom of association, nobody is taking that away from him. But a public figure especially the first citizen of a country should consider public perception before making certain decisions. This protects you from sending the wrong messages to the general public. Tinubu didn't just meet with the convicted criminal, he paraded him like an international diplomat. Ibori in turn pledged fealty to him. Nigeria wondered about the agenda of the meeting and the nature of the bond between them. Weeks later, news emerged that a UK court had moved to seize Ibori's property worth £101.5 million. As the news broke, Tinubu's recent picture with Ibori was mostly used as the report cover image by news platforms as a soft jab at the president.
(3) Proposed N8,000 cash transfer
Part of the baggage of former President Buhari's administration in the N5,000 cash transfer scheme aimed at serving as a palliative to the 'poorest of the poor'. The process was so opaque. We don't know the identities of the recipients of this money in Nigeria, geographic location or any tangible database or public register about them. The level of accountability in the operation of social intervention programmes in Nigeria has been zero. Yet, it gulped billions of Naira. As Buhari left, Nigerians breathed a sign of relief that at least that era of 'legal corruption and madness' had ended. But guess what, Tinubu brought back the initiative and increased the money to N8,000. Tinubu targeted the conditional payment of N8,000 monthly each to 12 million poor households for six months. It had to take a massive public backlash for Tinubu to make an embarrassing U-turn by turning to agriculture.
(4) Fuel subsidy removal/floating of Naira:
With the abrupt removal of fuel subsidy, Tinubu has proven to be the proverbial person that bathed himself with petrol knowing fully well about to be set on fire. The Buhari administration attempted to remove fuel subsidy times too. Each time Buhari did, the depth of the rabbit hole was baffling. This prompted the former dictator to always reach a compromise with the labour and trade unions on fuel prices at different attempts. Tinubu's already low popularity has continued to wane further since the removal of the fuel subsidy, coupled with his decision to float the naira. Both moves have triggered a chronic wave of inflation and high living costs in Nigeria. Even his more die-hard supporters of the 'Agbado family' are not immune to his retrogressive policies. A significant host of them have lost their voices on social media. If measured, Tinubu's popularity will be at an all-time low as he prepares for a showdown with the Nigeria Labour Congress which recently announced a forthcoming nationwide protest.
(5) The Emefiele saga:
Gone are the days when you can score cheap political points by arresting and prosecuting a public office-holder. Buhari overused this during his first tenure. As the economy suffered, Buhari's attention was focused on chasing his political enemies tagged as 'corrupt officials'. Nearly invisible funds were recovered from them and splashed on the pages of newspapers. This never improved the lives of the poor masses. This is why the arrest and detention of the former director of the Central Bank of Nigeria, Godwin Emefiele, by the Department of State Security, DSS, for alleged financial infractions means nothing to Nigerians. Imagine a man who is being widely investigated for alleged gross financial crime being arraigned in court for the purported possession of firearms. On the other hand, Asari and his private militia are working freely with threats to unleash mayhem in Nigeria. Tinubu sure makes good comedy skits! Even when poor Emefiele was granted bail by the court, the DSS fought the Nigerian Correctional Service (NCS) tooth and nail to keep him in their custody. The DSS would later seek a court injunction to further detain him but lost again.
(6) Nyesom Wike as a ministerial nominee:
The fact that Tinubu offered a ministerial seat to a member of the People's Democratic Party in ex-Governor Nyesom Wike is supposed to be commendable. Tinubu should be seen as an all-inclusive leader. But the nomination further lends credence to widespread rumours about Wike's clandestine political interest in Tinubu, a member of an opposing party. Tinubu performed a political miracle in the 2023 presidential election in Rivers State. He would controversially win the election - in a traditional PDP state with a sitting PDP governor. The results today don't add up mathematically. And Wike, an unrepentant antagonist of the ruling APC makes the ministerial list? Nigerians are not as foolish as Tinubu thinks.
(7) N25,000 low-ball offer to doctors:
There is a huge pressure on Nigerian doctors to leave the shores of Nigeria for better pay and working conditions abroad. Countries like the United Kingdom, Canada, the U.S., Australia, Saudi Arabia and others are hunting for them. 6,221 Nigerian doctors have left for the UK in the past 6 years. Nigeria falls behind the World Health Organization recommendation for the number of doctors to patients - 1:600 (one doctor to 600 patients). As of October 2022, the doctor-patient ratio in Nigeria was 1:9,083. The doctors are languishing in abject poverty in their home country calling for Tinubu's intervention. Then Tinubu intervenes and offers doctors within the federal public service a sum of N25,000 as a "peculiar allowance" to be paid every three months. That's barely £25 for people as big as doctors. What a shame!
In less than three months, Tinubu has made so much impact in Nigeria; in specific terms, not-so-good impact. One wonders what the future holds for Nigerians in the next three years. We can only hope for the best.
Osahon George Osayimwen writes from England.
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Romance / Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Date Uk-based Nigerian Women by uche87(m): 8:49am On Jul 24, 2023 |
Often when single young people move to the United Kingdom, they are always caught between starting new relationships abroad or sticking to their old relationships in their home countries. This short article is aimed at guiding you to make the best decision on the basis of reality and not mere emotions and sentiments. I will try as much as possible to make this piece less controversial. The aim isn't to break relationships and destroy the efforts of couples in their relationships. Dating a good Nigerian woman in the UK is amazing. They bring happiness and increase your zeal to succeed by giving you strong backing. Below are some of the reasons why dating a Nigerian woman in the UK is highly recommended. (1) Nigerian women are appreciative:Let's face it, there is no abundance of 'original' male suitors in the UK. Some coloured women even go for several months without anybody stopping them on the street to say hello. This adds value to men (law of demand and supply). So when single women ever meet their male counterparts, they value you like the pound note. (2) Financial independence:The UK creates an enabling ground and a level-playing field for everybody to succeed. As long as you are ready to work, you will make good money. UK-based Nigerian women have their own money and take pleasure in buying their own things unlike their counterparts back home, who are at the mercy of Tinubu and his APC friends. (3) Beauty and fashion:UK-based Nigerian women are not only beautiful, but they are so classy. They could be fashionable due to the extra cash and the affordability of clothes in the UK. I believe they have more 'packaging' than Amazon lol (4) Better opportunities:Nigerian women are doing really well in the UK. They are like the last piece of the puzzle you need to make your life complete. I have seen some men doing blue-collar jobs marry doctors and company management officials in the UK. This opens a door of opportunities and stability. (5) Adaptability:If you are in the UK, you are better off dating a Nigerian woman who lives in the country. This is because they have adapted to the system and have a strong knowledge of how it works. This is always as smooth as when Robin Van Persie moved from Arsenal to Old Trafford. He hit the ground running. (6) Happy Ending:UK women have very strong 'grips'. Legends in the house would understand. This is because of the scarcity of men and the busy nature of the country. You can't boldly say the same about Lagos-based women who are mostly 'sexually stressed' due to too multiple relationships running concurrently and marketing activities. (7) Mental stability:Due to the performing nature of the UK economy (compared to Nigeria), the women are generally happy to an extent because their needs are easily met via simple financial plans. Tinubu, back home has triggered an epidemic of mood swings amongst women with highly counterproductive public policies. ( Fiscal compatibility:Nigerian women in the UK are largely transparent with their finances. They also contribute to the payment of bills. They know for sure that their spouses might develop hunchbacks carrying those responsibilities alone. This attribute isn't easy to come by in Nigeria where the women regularly say 'Your money is our money and my money is my money' to their men. (9) Better exposure:Traveling itself is a form of education. As you pass through places, they also pass through you. Nigerian women in the UK have mixed with different races by virtue of being in the country. This has also broadened their perspective on life and made them better people. (10) Cooking:Nigerian women are generally fantastic cooks. They don't just have the skill, but they also have the financial resources to explore new measures of making both local and foreign dishes. Inadequate financial resources impede the abilities of their local counterparts. Osahon George Osayimwen writes from the United Kingdom. 55 Likes 7 Shares
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