supported. Silly granny

me too i no drink again

yeah

Ibo kwenu

lol

lmao

eyah!

i dey wait o

i agree with u

Thanks bro! Correction noted.

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"

Who said children are getting dumber every year. Check out the wisecracks below and judge for yourselves,

TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
KEMI: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
KEMI: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
KEMI: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today.

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!

TEACHER: CHIBUZOR, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
CHIBUZOR: Me!

TEACHER: MUSA, why do you always get so dirty?
MUSA: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Why are you late?
PRECIOUS: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
PRECIOUS: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher, snakes don't have feet.

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
GBENGA: Don't bite any.

TEACHER: Chi, give me a sentence starting with "I".
CHI: I is,
TEACHER: No, Chi. Always say, "I am."
CHI: All right, "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.

TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!

Phcn can't stop dem from havin fun 2day. Happy childrens day

Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they agree to hold a contest with God as the judge.

They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously for several hours, lines of code streaming up the screen.

Seconds before the end, a bolt of lightning struck taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has come up with.

Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing! I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.

Satan is astonished. He stutters, "But how?! I lost everything, yet
Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?!"

God chuckles, "Jesus saves."

wow

nice one

A guy walked into a store to buy curtains.

He went up to the salesman and said, "I want those pink curtains to fit my computer screen.

The salesman mentioned, "Computers don't need curtains."

The guy said, "Hellooo…. My computer has windows!"

Thanks. U r Welcome

Dis is how our grandchildren may end up learning the alphabets:

A-Apple.
B-Blackberry.
C-Chatting.
D-Download.
E-Email.
F-Facebook.
G-Google.
H-HP.
I-Iphone.
J-Java.
K-Kaspersky.
L-Laptop.
M-Microsoft.
N-Nokia.
O-Outlook.
P-Pinging.
Q- Question.
R-Rapidshare.
S-Skype.
T-Twitter.
U-USB.
V-Vista.
W-Windows.
X-XP.
Y-Youtube.
Z-Zukerberg.

Lacombe - Maths
Brighter Grammar- English

An Igbo man, a Yoruba man, and a Hausa man were will trying to figure out the best place to go on their next trip.

The Igbo man said, "We should go to Mars."

The Yoruba man said, "We should go to the Moon."

They start arguing for a while. Suddenly, the Hausa man shouts, "Stop arguing! I know the best place we can go for the next trip. We should go to , the Sun!"

The Igbo man and the Yoruba man looked at each other and started laughing. The Yoruba man finally said, "You can't go to the Sun. You would melt or burn up before you even got close!"

The Hausa man said, "DUH, Not if you go at night!"

Thanks Efe. Correction noted!

#2

What do u Think

On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a Hausa man sitting in the first class section and requested that he move to economy since he did not have a first class ticket.

The Aboki replied, "I'm not moving." Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with him. He went to talk with the man asking him to please move out of the first class section.

Again, he replied, " I'm not moving." The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what should he do. The captain said, "I'm married to a hausa. I know how to handle this."

He went to the first class section and whispered in the aboki's ear. He immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to himself, "Why didn't anyone just say so?" Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to him that finally convinced him to move from his seat. He said, "I told him the first class section wasn't going to New York.

Nope neva did slate.

One day a Hausa man gets free helicopter lesson. So he drives to the place and asks the instructor if he can have the lessons.

The instructor teaches him the controls and tells him: "Call me on this radio every 2000 feet".

So he goes in the helicopter and takes off. At 2000 he called him. At 4000 feet he calls him. At 6000 feet he calls him. But, at 8000 feet he does not call him.

The instructor wondered what was going on when he heard a CRASH from behind him. The instructor ran over to the crashed helicopter and asked the Aboki what happened.

He replied: "Wen I got to 8000 feet, It got really cold, so i turned off the big fan"

Who among u will claim that he or she did not use this book back in the days in Primary School.

A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He looks down the bar and sees another piss drunk man keep falling off his stool. The man finishes his drink watching the other man try to get back up on the stool.

Feeling sorry for the drunk, the man tries to stand him up, but the drunk keeps falling. The man thinks that this drunk needs to be taken home, so he finds his address in his wallet. On the way to his car, the man had to practically carry the drunk man.

After finally finding his house, the man carries the drunk man to the front door. He rings the doorbell and a lady answers. "Ma'am, your husband is drunk, so I decided to give him a lift home."

The woman replies, "Thank you sir, but I have one question, Where's his wheelchair?"

An old woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish Victoria Island Office Building. A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and smelling like expensive perfume turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio - Beverly Hills, #15000 an ounce!"

The next young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman and says, "Chanel No. 5,  #18500 an ounce!"

About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eyes, bends over, and lets out a most foul-smelling fart. She leaves the stunned women in a cloud of funk, saying "Broccoli - #100 a pound."

A husband and wife walked up to view the body of his mother-in-law at the funeral.

As he began to weep, his wife slapped him and said: “Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway!”

The husband replied, “I know, I thought I saw her move!!”

A lady got on a BRT bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
In annoyance she took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

You're right," She said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey.