afam4eva:
I don't have a partner and i've never had one...if i did, i'll have no reason to hide anything from my wife(not GF).

Good...make sure you tell her everything that went on from the time you were a baby until present. Make sure you tell her everything about your friends and family. Make sure you include their pin codes to ATM's and health statuses.

Since you are a sharing kind....it should be a breeze!

jennykadry:

And what about a responsible and decent man? Do you understand at all the meaning of "spouse"?

Yes, I do. Or do you have a monopoly on the knowledge and use of the word? Men are by nature possessive and may want to satisfy themselves by reading their wives SMS etc.

Mrs..Chima:


You are being foolish. That's like saying let share shit because we are married.

Please marry a chick that doesn't mind you opening her anus and licking it.

Maybe it's because you're shy but that's the way to go...btw, doesn't your husband see your anus when you're naked?

afam4eva:
Your friends have to understand that you and your husband are one. So, they should be willing to allow your husband see them as well.

My posts may sound shocking or astronomical, but those are the realities of a true marriage. It's unfortunate that most of the things people are doing now is not marriage.

Seriously why is it hard to understand that in matters like this, it is not just about you and your partner?

I will not promise to keep a secret for my friend and then break it by telling my husband what she wants just me knowing because i and my hubby are one.

freecocoa: I'll keep saying it, this trust talk is highly overrated, why wait to explain when you can easily avoid that is what i don't get.

A phone is private, you shouldn't read someone's sms if you trust the person, okay tell me what you want to see since you trust the person?

I can guarantee you this. If you do not have or deal with your trust issues, you will never have a good marriage. And it is not a curse or anything, it is a fact of life and marriage.

Dealing with the issues includes being open to answering those questions rather than avoiding them. Trust in every relationship needs to be tested, and SMS pranks like the one you described is about the easiest of the tests you can come up with. Throughout the marriage/relationship, trust will be tested. You cannot avoid that. If you avoid the easy tests by yourself HIDING or AVOIDING. . . how do you prepare yourself for the hard tests to come?

If' it's OK to snoop on my phone, it should be OK for me to go through your separate bank account as well.
Hey,since we are one in one and the same, what are you still doing with your maiden name?
Oneness and openess should be holistic and not selective

yes now!

Why should i hide anything from my wife and vice versa.

jennykadry:
They are friends and they are certain things we discuss I do not need to share with my husband. Same with my profession, i dont discuss patients with my husband? Look, honestly there are a few people I know who have been diagnosed with HIV or STD's in our church but I will never discuss them with my husband. He is my husband and knows that people's privacy have to be respected. we are one yes but I still have to keep certain things to myself.

God bless you for bringing this up.....

there are professionals out there like medics/lawyers/shrinks who are not allowed to discuss their clients with anyone....if my client then sends SMS or email to my phone and my "loving" wife hijacks it and carelessly leaks the info, i could lose my job for it......

Not really die-respectful with my knowledge.

jennykadry:

They are friends and they are certain things we discuss I do not need to share with my husband. Same with my profession, i dont discuss patients with my husband. Look, honestly there are a few people I know who have been diagnosed with HIV or STD's in our church but I will never discuss them with my husband. He is my husband and knows that people's privacy have to be respected. we are one yes but I still have to keep certain things to myself.

As it concerns your profession and it's ethics, i don't expect you to share those with your husband.

freecocoa: Seriously why is it hard to understand that in matters like this, it is not just about you and your partner?

I will not promise to keep a secret for my friend and then break it by telling my husband what she wants just me knowing because i and my hubby are one.

Guess I can share this on a public forum .one of my husbands not too close friend was treated for STD in 2010, his wife came in for a test as well and was clean. Yea we all knew where the man got it from and it almost broke their marriage but they survived. Till date my husband has no idea that I know what happened between these two years when he was trying to act like a counsellor to them. .This man did not have to beg me to keep it between us three, I knew he was a friend of some kind but had to keep my mouth shush.

afam4eva:
As it concerns your profession and it's ethics, i don't expect you to share those with your husband.

Some of my professional clients are friends, even of they aren't, they are some things my normal friends discuss with me that I don't tell my husband. Will I tell him if he asks me? Yes or maybe but I'd rather he doesn't.

afam4eva:
As it concerns your profession and it's ethics, i don't expect you to share those with your husband.

see how foolish you sound now --
so if this information that concerns ethics and profession was sent via SMS/email to your phone and your spouse sees it - have you not broken the ethic code of your profession?

coogar:

God bless you for bringing this up.....

there are professionals out there like medics/lawyers/shrinks who are not allowed to discuss their clients with anyone....if my client then sends SMS or email to my phone and my "loving" wife hijacks it and carelessly leaks the info, i could lose my job for it......

Job? Your license to practice will be taken away from you forever. Friends though have shared very personal things with me that I don't share with my husband, as long as my family is not in danger in any way or form, I keep mute.

jennykadry:

They are friends and they are certain things we discuss I do not need to share with my husband. Same with my profession, i dont discuss patients with my husband. Look, honestly there are a few people I know who have been diagnosed with HIV or STD's in our church but I will never discuss them with my husband. He is my husband and knows that people's privacy have to be respected. we are one yes but I still have to keep certain things to myself.

Like I said earlier, if you are not using your phone for business or to run your multi-billion dollar empire, I see no reason why the information on it should be hidden from your spouse. Most people I know do not use the same phone for their private communication that they use for business communication. I think it makes sense to have a separate phone for such .. .

Kobojunkie:

I can guarantee you this. If you do not have or deal with your trust issues, you will never have a good marriage. And it is not a curse or anything, it is a fact of life and marriage.

Dealing with the issues includes being open to answering those questions rather than avoiding them. Trust in every relationship needs to be tested, and SMS pranks like the one you described is about the easiest of the tests you can come up with. Throughout the marriage/relationship, trust will be tested. You cannot avoid that. If you avoid the easy tests by yourself HIDING or AVOIDING. . . how do you prepare yourself for the hard tests to come?

Don't get me wrong, i never said you should avoid questions when they present themselves, i'm only saying i would rather avoid whatever will lead to those questions.

Again don't blame me for wanting to take care of my heart and self, i'm old enough to know that anything can happen at anytime and i program myself that way so that whatever happens won't be alien to me, ofcourse. i trust people only to an extent, life has taught me lessons.

Btw you didn't answer my question on why you would go reading your partners sms especially since you trust him?

To be candid checking ur spouses fone is d best way to knw dia secrets ooooo. Cos u might be living a lie until u check it even though some are smart enough to delete dose implicating msgs. I'm a testimony to this fact, and it helped me to knw where d relationship is heading. Pls ppl phones are private but it ll help u to periodically check ur spouses phone.

coogar:

see how foolish you sound now --
so if this information that concerns ethics and profession was sent via SMS/email to your phone and your spouse sees it - have you not broken the ethic code of your profession?

Exactly. I try to delete these messages and warn them never to do that again. Some things are just better left unsaid

coogar:

see how foolish you sound now --
so if this information that concerns ethics and profession was sent via SMS/email to your phone and your spouse sees it - have you not broken the ethic code of your profession?

YOu see how 1diotic you sound.

Why should you be using your personal phone for business purpose. You should get a seperate phone for your office.

Kobojunkie:

Like I said earlier, if you are not using your phone for business or to run your multi-billion dollar empire, I see no reason why the information on it should be hidden from your spouse. Most people I know do not use the same phone for their private communication that they use for business communication. I think it makes sense to have a separate phone for such .. .

there you go, they have started moving the posts......after arguing endlessly one's spouse is one's God and marriages won't work until a spouse is given 100% licence to check any info as he/she pleases!

afam4eva:
YOu see how 1diotic you sound.
Why should you be using your personal phone for business purpose. You should get a seperate phone for your office.

you are a complete zombie - you think everywhere is Lagos where people carry 6 phones around to prove they are doing well? which one is business phone, which one is personal phone? village man!!!

Kobojunkie:

Like I said earlier, if you are not using your phone for business or to run your multi-billion dollar empire, I see no reason why the information on it should be hidden from your spouse. Most people I know do not use the same phone for their private communication that they use for business communication. I think it makes sense to have a separate phone for such .. .

Some clients are actually childhood friends, some are uni friends whilst some are church friends. These people could communicate with me on my private phone cos they have it. If I have a friend who has gonorrhea I should tell my husband when he asks "hey, Christina or Julie has got some STD?" nope I won't.

afam4eva:
YOu see how 1diotic you sound.

Why should you be using your personal phone for business purpose. You should get a seperate phone for your office.

You don't get it afam. Some clients are close friends.

I have a seperate phone for my office, and so does he!

I'm talking about personal lines. The one your friends and family use to contact you . . . the one you use while on leave! The very personal line!

ReginaVII:

Yes, I do. Or do you have a monopoly on the knowledge and use of the word? Men are by nature possessive and may want to satisfy themselves by reading their wives SMS etc.

And when women do same they are automatically termed "irresponsible and foolish"?

And this is coming from a fellow woman? Truly women are their own worst enemies. Tufiakwa

coogar:

there you go, they have started moving the posts......after arguing endlessly one's spouse is one's God and marriages won't work until a spouse is given 100% licence to check any info as he/she pleases!



you are a complete zombie - you think everywhere is Lagos where people carry 6 phones around to prove they are doing well? which one is business phone, which one is personal phone? village man!!!

Why not attend to your clients inside your room. DOPEMU...

jennykadry:

Guess I can share this in a public forum .one of my husbands not too close friend was treated for STD in 2010, his wife came in for a test as well and was clean. Yea we all knew where the man got it from and it almost broke their marriage but they survived. Till date my husband has no idea that I know what happened between these two years when he was trying to act like a counsellor to them. .This man did not have to beg me to keep it between us three, I knew he was a friend of some kind but had to keep my mouth shush.

Now that's being very mature and handling the issue the way it should be handled, i bet some people will go telling their partners things like this all in the name of "we are one" then if their partner na the type wey dey do " don't tell anybody o" the news will spread like wild fire with A telling B "don't tell anybody o" and na so e go spread till e reach mr Z.

jennykadry:

Exactly. I try to delete these messages and warn them never to do that again. Some things are just better left unsaid

according to the anti phone privacy crew, you are not honest with your husband for hiding the information from him. can you see how crass the mentality sounds? the law is simple - if the senders of the sms/email wish the message to be private then it must be kept private regardless of any sentiment!

Ujujoan: I have a seperate phone for my office, and so does he!
I'm talking about personal lines. The one your friends and family use to contact you . . . the one you use while on leave! The very personal line!

ujujoan, from what i have read from you today - you will check any phone your hands can frisk(business, personal, school or mosque). don't try and move the post!!!

freecocoa:
Again don't blame me for wanting to take care of my heart and self, i'm old enough to know that anything can happen at anytime and i program myself that way so that whatever happens won't be alien to me, ofcourse. i trust people only to an extent, life has taught me lessons.

Btw you didn't answer my question on why you would go reading your partners sms especially since you trust him?

I did answer this question . . . . . Trust does not in anyway say you cannot read the books you spouse reads cause if you are genuinely interested in learning what your spouse is reading, or you cannot join the same open groups your spouse in in or you cannot read text messages on your spouses phones. If anything, you owe your spouse that much to try to stay up to date on what is going on in his or her life.

Back when I was a kid(there were no cell phones or internet those days) my mum had access to and would go through my dad's diary to make sure that he was up-to-date on what he(they) needed to accomplish for the day, documents that needed to be sign and mail etc. She would suggest to run some of the errands or help him pick up some of the books he needs at the library for that day etc. My dad was worked hard at running his own business on the side, but it helped a lot that my mum was willing to learn about his daily life and what needed to be done next so she was able to help move things forward, more than he could have done on his own. She learned quite a lot about the business and his schedule that way, without him having to sit her down every day to give her a lecture on what he had planned for that day.

That, to me, is how marriage ought to work. You don't need to wait for a daily UPDATE meeting for you to proactively try to be INSYNC with the person you are ONE with. You do what you need to do in order to sync up so the marriage, and other things work more smoothly.

afam4eva:
YOu see how 1diotic you sound.

Why should you be using your personal phone for business purpose. You should get a seperate phone for your office.

Okay now you are sounding like you don't know what else to say.

Someone who goes through your personal phone will definitely go through an office phone, unless you want to tell me one should leave the supposed office phone in the office?

Btw i see no reason why i should own two phones when one can serve for whatever purpose i want.

He made me the lady of the Manor. He gladly gave me access to everything. No secret.
We are in a kind of job/tough positions where no messing around is allowed.
we know our onion.

SemperFI

coogar:

there you go, they have started moving the posts......after arguing endlessly one's spouse is one's God and marriages won't work until a spouse is given 100% licence to check any info as he/she pleases!

Have I ever told you that you argue like an ODI? Well I have now. Below is what I said on this, on page 3

Kobojunkie:
Dude, even my mother "SNOOPS" through my phone . . . That gadget is public property for all I care. I don't understand why people who don't have business secrets or are using em to run multi-billion dollar empires attach so much importance to em.